December 2007 - Santa's come early for some of us...

[Housemum]

Thought I'd start off the new thread as I've never started one before - congratulations to those of you who are on here now - hope I'll be joing you in the not-too-distant future!

Cazzy ds is sicky too, but it has been better since I have been block feeding. On the same note Buzzy, I am actually not meant to be expressing at all until my supply reduces a bit but in emergency situations (like my blocked duct) I am 'allowed' to express just enough to take the pressure off. I expressed after feeding from that breast and gave ds the bottle as part of his evening cluster feeds, so he fed from the breast, then had the bottle, then fed from the same breast so I figured he would be getting hindmilk but like you say, I did wonder if too much foremilk could have caused the meltdown afterwards! It was certainly similar to how he was before I started block feeding... Last night it was a case of "oh well I've got the milk out, lets see if he takes a bottle" and I was amazed that he did-didn't resist or seem confused at all!

Loucee definitely vent away-I know I do!

Insy Once again I am filled with admiration for you! DD has been telling us as she does a poo or wee for a couple of months now (not before though unfortunately!) but I'm holding back from putting her in pants for the purely selfish reason that I don't want to be running to the potty/cleaning up accidents as well as spending so much time breastfeeding ds! Your ds sounds like he is doing really well-when dd has her nappy off she forgets what she is doing and wees everywhere!
Also, if you don't mind me asking, how strict are you with the baby whisperer routine? I've just got the book and some bits of it are great but others go against what I believe about breastfeeding for example. Oh and the use of "luv" is really annoying me!

amani - realy sorry to hear about your PND but fantastic you are getting some help and are feeling better

loucee - has yout HV given you the PND questionnaire yet? That should indicate whether you have PND or not. I scored quite high in it (13, cut off for 'normal is 9-10) but my HV thought it was tied up with my problems BF so didn;t offer further support (she was right I think). But the 'listening' visits they offer if they think you have PND are great if you HV is nice so def worth mentioning. Also hope you get some support in talking through your birth. Please don;t feel you are bringing the thread down - that is exactly what we are here for and i for one will keep asking so you might as well spill

thanks for good wishes re BF and illness - think the thrush is going now and mastitis has gone and feeding is slowly becoming pleasurable. My HV came round today and was so lovely telling me how well I'd done to persevere and how brilliantly Milo was doing etc - made me finally feel like I am doing a good job

clairey - I'm glad you said that about taking a while to bond with your DS - I think lots of us feel that way but can;t bear to say it. And really glad you have now bonded. You have the patience of a saint and I'm sure he wil become easier to look after very soon

Now than can we talk about poos please? Milo hasn't pooed for four days - is this normal? I am in a constant state of semi-anxiety as I know that when it comes it will be nasty. Am currently at work and if he poos now I know I will be getting the bus home covered in the stuff. But I can hardly sit at home all day waiting for him to poo!!!

buzzy - yes green poo can mean not enough hindmilk or (apparently) too much/a lot of milk - has she has another poo yet?

ambi your dd is beautiful!

Re putting them to bed - we put Milo down any time between 8pm and 11pm depending on how much he wants to feed. i usually find that if he cluster feeds all evening until 10 or 11 he will then sleep till 4 or 5am. If we put him down earlier (8-9pm) he usually wakes at 2am and than 5/6am for a feed - so it depends what I want - an evening to myself or a good night's sleep. Either way i can't complain - one or two wakings is fantastic in my book

good luck with the potty training insy - v. impressed he is going so young. I found with DD I just had to take the plunge and go out with no nappy (on DD not me ) - it was stressful for me but she never had any accidents

hi everyone, thanks for nice comments

possible silly question - can you use any container as a cold water steriliser? I've got some milton tablets but don't have a proper "bucket" etc but have a large plastic container I could measure the 5L of water into. I have my new pump today and would love to try it out tonight.

Amani sorry for bringing it up if you didn't want to talk about it, I'm so glad you're feeling better than you were and are enjoying your DDs. I relate to the embarrassed feeling but hey listen to everyone's comments to me, we're ALL doing fab.

Skidaddle I read somewhere (possibly the Kellymom website?) that it is possible for babies to fully absorb breastmilk and so they might not poo for a few days.

add me to feeling a bit bleurgh group, not sure if its pnd or not. Hoping I feel better soon - for me think its the isolation i struggle with.

hugs to all

Isolation - yep I was feeling that now.
I've been going to as many mum and baby groups and activity sessions as possible just to get out of the house. Plus meeting up with the ladies from my AN group.
Lucky the weather is really nice atm, even getting out of the house just to go for a walk does me good!
Surestart centres usually have lots of great things going on, so well worth checking out as they are free and normally a just turn up arrangements.
Went to a coffee group - I was the only one there! Guess I was the only one organised enough but ds is in a very chilled out mood today Had a good night with him, apart from at 12.30 DH not wanting to give him his EBM so I did it only ds kept pulling away from the bottle and rooting for my nipple. Did manage to give him the bottle later in the night as DH woke up the next time ds did feeling guilty! Just a bit annoying when I've gone to the effort of expressing only to end up chucking it away because ds doesn't want it!
Oh and he normally takes between 2-4 oz from a bottle. He'll drink it at room temp, but prefers mum's booby

Loucee - no need to apologise hun. I'm just grateful that I am dealing with it. taking each day as it comes and trying to get out as previously I couldn't even motivate myself to do that. Today I went to work with both my DD's and even though I was feeling very nervous about it, it was nice to have an adult conversation.

Pecka - do you feel isolated. I am really suprised becuase on facebook you seem to have soooo many friends

cazzy - selfishly, that is why I feel isolated, have loads of friends and im rather used to being out with them having lots of me time - girly trips away, shopping, drinking etc so finding it hard accustomed to not being able to go out without baby again!

Aww I feel so proud that you think ds1 is doing really well on the potty training, I?m getting loads of lovely comments when we?re out too about how ?advanced? he is which I?m enjoying (and feeling very smug about) he wore pants whilst at CM and didn?t have any accidents (she put him in a nappy for toddler group which I totally understand!) so we?re definitely getting there.

Clairey ? am not strictly following the baby whisperer ? I think the dream feeding is complete rubbish, I can?t get my very asleep ds to bf when he doesn?t want to, I haven?t been very strict about the 3 hour feeding but I?ve been waking him for feeds today as he slept thro one yesterday morning and was up for an extra feed in the night so I?m trying to see if it helps him having 3 hour feeds in the day ? theres not much else I follow, I like her potty training advice, she reassured me about using a dummy but ?shush pat? just winds ds up and swaddling worked really well for ds1 and ds2 hates it so I?m just picking and choosing the good bits! Are you following it? (and yes the ?luv? bit is really annoying and the fact all her ?case study? stories have really random names)

Skid ? hurray another non pooer! My ds will poo once every 10 days or so and when he goes it?s a massive poo (I open the nappy and it practically flows out) its completely normal, apparently breast milk doesn?t have anything that the body can?t absorb so anything up to 2 weeks is normal, especially if they are having a growth spurt, the most important thing is you are still getting wet nappies, if not then that?s when you should go straight to gp

Bouncing ? do you not find it really annoying when people don?t turn up and you?ve managed to get out the house? This has only happened a few times to me but it really annoys me

Blimey my breast fed baby poos 2-3 times EVERY day - loads of yellow loose korma type poos yuk
My DD1 is not very happy at all...any advice from others with older kids (she is 6) - she keeps writing me notes saying I don't love her or pay her any attention - it is starting to get me quite down and sad - I am trying my best to spend time with her/not leave her out etc and am struggling as single mum trying to juggle (rushing about to all her activities with LO attached to boob)making sure she carries on as normal and doesn't miss anything

Mac - ds is the same as yours re:poos!

Insy - I felt bad for the hostess, especially as I got the impression that a few people from bumps and babes sais they were going. But I also feel a bit proud of myself that I did manage to get myself organised enough to go!

And DD2 is so clever H came over the other morning and he was sat with her while I was showering and she managed to poo so much that it leaked out all over his jeans - PMSL as he had to go straight to work and he is very fussy.....

Macdoodle, sounds to me like your DD1 has hit upon the perfect way to get your attention - aren't 6 year olds great!! Hard as it may be I think you need to try and be firm with her about her time and your time and not react to the notes etc. Try and set aside some time when you can be fairly sure that you can have one-on-one time with her, tell her that you will do XYZ with her at that time, and try your utmost to keep your promise.

And repeat after me "I am a great mummy"!!

My DD1 is hugely into board games at the moment which luckily is something the 3 of us can do together (with DD2 in my lap or in her bouncer next to us) so when DD1 gets a bit grumpy I generally suggest we play a game of Trouble (aka Ludo)/ Snakes and Ladders/ Checkers/ Memory/ Dominoes and that usually magically stops any whingeing.

Mac - about your dd, can your H take dd2 for a couple of hours so you can do some special activity with dd1? Take her to the pictures, or for lunch somewhere or shopping? Or even to the park or somewhere? Maybe even cuddling up on the sofa watching her favourite film or doing something crafty with her?
It is hard, my 6yo dss is a little bit jealous of his little brothers, poor dh is a bit torn between the two boys, wanting to give me a break but also trying to give enough attention to his ds as well.

Macdoodle my niece was nearing 6 when my nephew was born 2 yrs ago and SIL had similar episodes of wee notes and when DD sang through her toy microphone she would sing that her mum doesnt love her anymore . I cant remember how things improved but I'll ask her. Hugs though, that must be really sad but I agree with Buzzy, you're doing a great job and you only have 1 pair of hands so dont be hard on yourself, its a big adjustment for you all.
My DS seems to poo during most feeds, he wriggles and arches his back too.

Is anyone else suffering from really dry skin? My hands and feet are really bad
.

Mandoodle - it is every child's right to make their parents feel guilty for things they have nothing to feel guilty about! you sound like you are doing brilliantly and trust me, as an only child, i would have much rather have had a sibling.

Pecka - get one mate to babysit whilst you go out....problem solved.

cazzy - there is no logic to my feelings of wanting to be out, i couldnt possibly leave her! i blame the hormones!

he he Pecka - that is just like me...I mona my lack of socal life/friends but when I do get asked out I only go if I can take dd3 with me....crazy isn't.

I don't have the same trouble leaving the other dds though .

macdoodle - sorry to hear dd is making you feel bad, my little cousin is 8 now but it sounds like they all go throught this stage it just depends what they use to make you feel guilty - for my liitle cousin it was when her mum met a new bloke, big hugs tho I hope it gets better x

loucee - dry skin here and my moisturier doesn't seem to touch it, I think its the weather and all that buggy pushing when I forget my gloves!

clairey - I have to say waking ds up for 3 hour feeds seems to have done the trick - he slept 8 hours last night,
hv asked me today if I was feeding on demand and I said no, she said she wasn't sure if that was 'ideal', ok so sainity check, if you ff do you do it on demand?? I thought you gave bottles pretty regularly so can't it be the same for bfeeding? its working for us and ds is putting weight on but I'm a little worried i'm denying him food now (altho I do wake him up for every feed so its not like he's screaming for it and he's 7 wks and 12lb 9oz so he's also not exactly wasting away! I think I might stop going to clinic it just makes me worry!)

Insy, anaemia does make you really tired but it also means your blood doesn't clot as easily, that is why I think I am still bleeding (albeit only a little now). If you pull out your lower eyelids I think it should look quite red in there, if it is very pale then you may be anaemic.

Loucee, may not be a bad idea to have a word with docs about PND, better to be safe than sorry and as it seems to be worrying you (understandably) then it might make you feel better to rule it out IYSWIM? You musn't feel inadequate though, you are doing a fab job! We all need someone to talk to and vent to at times though so talk and moan away as much as you need to on here! I saw that story about the poor woman given the epidural too, they showed a photo of her with her LO just after he was born and it made me cry. She looked so happy and yet was gone 2 hours later, so so sad. I have also got dry hands and feet since DD was born. Guess that the dry hands are because I wash them more and they are in contact with a lot of wet wipes too! Not sure about feet but my heels have been dry since I had DS1 so that might be hormones I guess.

Cazzy, I have had that problem with a steering lock too! Cue hysterical phone call to DH thinking I had broken the car...

Macdoodle, got no real advice for you but I will say that children are excellent at making you feel bad, your DD1 may not actually feel that way all the time but on realising it upset you/made you give her more attention she keeps doing it to get more. DS1 plays up (generally by being nasty to DS2) when he wants attention - its hard to know how to deal with it. I have started getting them to come and read with me or talk to me while I feed DD so they don't see feed time as time away from them IYSWIM, not sure if it is working yet or not though! Its really hard to find a good balance and both DSs are playing me up a bit at the moment - hats off to you for doing it alone, you are doing fantastically.

Don't listen to the health visitor Insy, if he is doing well and you are doing well then what else matters??? When DD's weight had not gone up at 10 days I was told to feed her more often and try to get an extra feed in every 24 hours. I got really stressed about it, she didn't always want to wake up and then was sleeping all the time she wasn't feeding (cue more stress). I did that for a day, it didn't work for me so I spaced her feeds back out. She is now 11 lbs 2.5 oz at 4 weeks (9 oz up from last week!) so it is obviously doing her no harm. Do what works for you, 8 hours sleep is fantastic!

Neutrogena do a fab foot cream which is great for dry cracked feet, great results within a few days. Their hand cream is good too (I am sure it is the same as their foot cream so use it for both...) although it is quite thick so you really have to rub it in. Nice soft hands though - shame I keep forgetting to use it!

hi beckle - just checked and eye lids look quite red so think its ok?? am still bleeding a little, its a bit on and off at the moment but I noticed a tiny clot yesterday which is probably nothing but I think I'll go back to docs

thanks beckle - I rang dh and he reassured me, I know he knows no more than me but its nice to have the reassurance!

Loucee any container is fine-I used an old icecream tub for a while.

Skid, that's what I love about this thread, we can tell each other the good and bad without getting judged, and usually someone else knows exactly what you mean. Also I find it helps me keep things in perspective-for example in RL you might just say Milo sleeps really well and give the impression he sleeps through and then I'd be obsessing about Douggies lack of sleep but because on here you say yes he sleeps well, he usually wakes once or twice I know we're not really all that far behind. And also, I can say to myself "Milo might sleep well but poor Skid has had all those problems with bf" when I'm having a bad day! (sorry to use your discomfort to my advantage )

Insy that's why I was asking really-some people say that if you don't follow a routine exactly you might as well not bother so I was wondering if it was possible to just pick and choose the bits I like! So far I've just started following the basics of EAS rather than just completely random feeding and sleeping but I'm not really worrying about timings yet, nor self settling (although that would be nice...). Only time I am keeping in mind is the 45 min sleep cycle thing so I try to resettle ds if he wakes during that. DS still naturally wants to feed every 2 hours or so during the day so I'm going with that for now, rather than trying to stretch it out-he mostly takes a good feed so I don't think he is snacking. Tried a dreamfeed but he woke up completely and screamed for over 2 hours so have abandoned that! He also hates being swaddled-strange seeing as he loves being all wrapped up in the sling!

DS poos pretty much every feed for now, dd was the same until she was over 3 months.