Ttc 1st baby catch up 3rd thread!

[Fivebyfive2]

Thought as I'm bored and we're on page 40 of thread 2, I'd make a thread 3!

@MrsEG, aaahh your Halloween plans and costumes sound awesome 😀 I hope they get to go ahead as planned...

I have no idea what will happen in terms of a lockdown?? I think maybe they'll start with closing non essentials again first? My friend was saying she'd rather have a lockdown now or soon and then maybe be able to have things ease up for Christmas. To be honest I think over Christmas, people will do whatever anyway!

I'm so glad you're back on track with the weaning. You're doing amazingly well xx

Well! Saturday night we started in his room and made it until 11pm. Last night we started in his room and made it until 2am. Slow progress, but still progress! He's got 3 teeth now and I think a 4th on its way. Isolation is getting a bit grinding, but we're getting through the house jobs, having time in the garden and eating like little piggies to make it more bearable! Joe is constantly shuffling/scooching around and has been up on his hands and feet this morning 😂

Hope every one is doing OK? We'll need a new thread soon 😛

@MrsR16 @purplefig @ELW85 @LikeTheFruit @cupcakesandglitter @MrsH497 @Larrydavid @lokicat @stormtrooperjulian @thumper59 @ranchorelaxo @TrashKitten10 @delilah7

Sorry if I've forgotten anyone! Xx

[thumper59]

@MrsH497 bless her. Must of been so worrying!! She is just beautiful.

@Lemonysherbet loads of hugs to you. It's all so crap. It's been such a horrid year for us in our family life too as we've lost a close family ( not to covid) in the last few weeks really suddenly, and found out this week my auntie who's been battling cancer since august and had an op to 'fix and remove' it has now been told there is nothing they can do so that's the end of the road really. She's back home now but it's just so crap and the circumstances make everything 1000 x more difficult don't they!

@ELW85 aww he is just beautiful! Look at his little face ❤️. Do you think he looks like me, everyone says he's like his dad! He has my eyes though. And I think my personality. His dads quite quiet and reserved where as I'm a bit more lively and outgoing and he is defo like that 😂 aww that's so exciting about a second! I think it's lovely for them to have a close age gap 😊 always someone to play with, or fight with! Depending on the day 😂 x

[ELW85]

@thumper59 - he definitely looks like you 😊 I can’t get my head around another so quickly but I do think might as well get it out of the way with, haha! And I REALLY don’t have time on my side.
Finn goes between looking like DH and me, I think. I did some side by side photos between me as a baby and Finn and I think he looks like me but there are definitely days he’s all DH.

[thumper59]

@ELW85 go for it! Just think how much fun 2 babies close together will be as little kids.... and you've already bought everything! May as well get the use out of it! Aww yeah he does! He looks a lot like both of you on them x

[MrsH497]

@thumper59 aw thank you she honestly just makes everything about this year worth it! I have to admit I was worried especially when the temperature was going up and not down!

Ooh @ELW85 probably missed it are you thinking of having number 2? We've talked about it and when to start trying. That's so bad they wouldn't give Finn any antibiotics I had to push I have to admit. They were adamant it was Covid or teething. He's so gorgeous!

@Lemonysherbet I agree when people say how shitty this years been I just think of Charlotte arriving and how amazing (and bloody hard work!) she is.

Charlotte is her daddy's mini me and watching them together just melts me. The top pic is DH as a baby bottom is me as a baby and then Charlotte in the pink babygrow.

[MrsEG]

Hi all!
So the first week back went really well! The funniest thing happened though. I had to attend some mental resilience and well-being training at the end of the week. My work luckily are excellent with mental health and a work life balance but this year with the pandemic they’ve initiated this training. And I was just like, okay fine, I’ll join. I know the drill. Take regular breaks, don’t get distracted by your phone, etc.
But it was amazing. It’s changed me haha. So basically it was an independent thing, very non-biased. And so many people were talking about their mental health with working from home so much etc, and I mentioned it was actually my first week back from mat leave. He asked how I was finding it and I explained I actually found work fine, but had an awful mat leave, felt like I’d really grieved for it, felt so angry about what I’d lost.
And we got in to this discussion about it and he basically said I was stuck at the ‘anger’ stage of the cycle of grief. And the longer you stay there the more unhealthy it becomes. Because anger gets you nowhere, it just makes you more angry: you’ll just keep directing your anger at new places. It just resonated so much with me. And he mentioned that you just have to drive towards acceptance. Yes, this year has been so terrible, especially for a new mother - but why dwell on that? What will it achieve? And so we discussed positive affirmations (you can see I totally railroaded this training can’t you) and honestly - I can’t tell you how much of a difference it’s made already. I try really hard to avoid the ‘this year has been shit, I can’t believe how my whole mat leave has been in lockdown, how crap is it that we’ve been able to do nothing’ and flipped it so when I speak to DH I’m trying out ‘How amazing is it to have become parents this year, look how well the boys are doing, wasn’t it lovely how Conor was hugging his Nana the other day’ etc. I’m probably explaining this terribly and making it sound very ‘woo’. But it’s lifted me, it really has.
But on the flip side of course if you need to be mad, hate drink wine in the evening, throw things at Boris on the telly - just do what you need to do!!!!!

I’m so excited to see people discussing number two as well! As an instant mother of two haha, yes it’s very hard, you constantly need more hands and eyes - but my goodness, the bond they have. It is the most incredible thing. They were sat this morning watching nursery rhymes and drinking their milk, stroking each other’s heads. It’s as hard as it is just fabulous and wonderful to have two children it really is.

@thumper59 why are the north being penalised so much! It just doesn’t make sense to me. Freddie is so gorgeous!! I love a big lad haha, Ruairí is enormous - his current coat is 18-24 months!! Conor is much more ‘average’ in comparison haha!
I’m so sorry to read about your Aunt too, what terrible news x

@Fivebyfive2 Oh I am so sad to read this :( I echo what others have said in perhaps discussing it with him - he could have no idea he’s coming across the way that he is? I hope you’re okay.

@purplefig I bet your mum just adores having M too!! I have to tear the boys away from mine! I struggled at first with how lax she is with our routine etc but I’m just going with it now - I have such fond memories of ice cream for dinner and a £1 slipped in to my hand to go and buy sweets with my grandparents and I want the boys to have that too!

@MrsH497 oh how awful!! I hope she’s doing much better now.

@Lemonysherbet I think people do forget the wonderful things that also happened this year - your gorgeous boy included!! Xx

@ELW85 Sounds like a huge project!! It’ll be amazing to have your own personal stamp on the whole house though. I’m still trying that with our home 4 years on haha! Ahh happy 8 months beautiful boy x

[MrsEG]

That might be the longest post I EVER wrote haha!! Have some snaps of the boys x

[MrsH497]

@MrsEG oh look at them! How gorgeous are they! She's so much better thank you the antibiotics although a bloody pain to get her to take are doing the trick.

Do you know what that all makes total sense and I really like that way of thinking.

I think we will maybe start trying in the new year. I need Charlotte to be a little bit better at night first but we'd like a small ish age gap ideally.

We would love a holiday next year (as soon as DH said that I was researching where and dreaming!)

Right I'm waffling

[ELW85]

@MrsEG - I’m so pleased the course had such a huge impact on you! I love the photos of the boys; that last one with the edible jumper had me laughing!
We’re trying for number two in the new year. It’s one of those things where I genuinely don’t think there’s ever a right time, so might as well crack on 😂
The house is going to be a project and a half but I think it’ll all be very much Big Bang and once it’s done, that’s us set for 30 years so let’s just do it!

@MrsH497 - haha, she is the absolute double of your DH as a baby; gorgeous girl!
And looks like we’ll be TTC at the same time! God it feels insane even writing that 😂

@thumper59 - it’s going to be fun. I hope. 😂

@Fivebyfive2 - I’ve been thinking about you loads; are you ok? Xx

So Finn had a physio appointment yesterday to get checked over (still tucking his thumbs a bit but admittedly less) and she just thinks it’s habit snd there’s absolutely nothing to worry about.
She’s given us some exercises to encourage him to crawl given he hates being on his front, but all in all, it felt pretty positive.

[Fivebyfive2]

@MrsEG, I'm really happythat the course helped you through some things and has given you a new way to look at things 🙂 The boys are so cute, I love the pic of them together!

@ELW85, omg so you're definitely ttc soon, how exciting! It sounds like your house will be stunning once finished 🙂 Great news that Finns appointment went so well xx

Thanks all for the kind words! I'm probably making too much of things really, but it's just a little niggle I can't shake sometimes. We actually had a really Frank discussion when Joe was tiny because of similar issues. He was really horrified I thought he'd ever leave, I don't think he realised how he was coming across. He has this thing where he always thinks what he's doing isn't good enough (goes riiiight back to his parents, I could seriously do an essay!) and that everyone else has it moee together than he does. So basically, when he can't settle Joe or calm him or when he gets upset when we're doing the sleep training and I'm being calm, he just thinks he's no help / I'm so much better at it and we don't need him... Or something. Nevermind that I've cried every day since doing the training. Or that he's clearly better at nappies than me. Or that he got Joe's first smile AND laugh! Anyway... I'm totally rambling now. Sorry. My point is (I think) that it's not about him doing his share; we have a few disagreements around that, but all normal tit for tat stuff. It is his attitude sometimes. It is like he gets overwhelmed so easily, but just seems to think I don't feel it and find it easy and why can't he be like that? I worry that one day he'll think he can't do it and that we'll be fine without him, even though I always try to let him know that we're a team.

Oh and in other news, I've just been sitting here crying for about 10 mins, thinking about all of this and about Joe and his sleep and about lockdown / tier 3 meaning I can't even go to my mums for a break, blah blah blah 🙁

[MrsH497]

@ELW85 I know I feel slightly crazy TTC but hey it took us a while with Charlotte so I know it probably won't happen quickly. Be nice to have someone to go through the journey again with! So glad that you feel positive with what the physio said about Finn.

@Fivebyfive2 sending hugs x

[Fivebyfive2]

Decided to cheer myself up and insisted on putting the tree up 🙂🎄

[MrsH497]

Am I crazy having a real tree?! Charlotte can roll a lot everything goes in her mouth abs our living room isn't big enough to just "keep her away"

[MrsH497]

@Fivebyfive2 love love love the fact you've done the tree it looks so beautiful all warm and cosy xx

[TrashKitten10]

Thanks everyone for your kind words 🥰

Just popped on to say that @MrsH497 I don't think it's crazy to get a real tree, we've just got ours from the farm. Look for a variety that doesn't shed as much and put any small decorations a little higher up so Charlotte can't pull them off. Also make sure the base is weighted enough that she couldn't topple it. Unfortunately Daisy is a bit more mobile and has completely stripped the bottom half of our tree (see before and after photos below 😂). She toddles over, pulls the decorations off one at a time (normally snapping the string off) and then brings them over to present to you. You then have to say 'ta' for your gift. Literally thanking the child for destroying the tree. Enjoy the tree this year before Charlotte can do similar ☺️

[ELW85]

@Fivebyfive2 - how are you doing? I’m sure you do this already, but (if you don’t mind me saying) your DH sounds like he’s got a deep seated insecurity because of his parents, so just reaffirming how you couldn’t handle Joe without him will help. Everything that you’ve mentioned, how good of a team you make etc, it all helps. And it’s hard sometimes because you think ‘we’ll hang on, I’ve GOT to get on and cope with raising a baby, nobody is there to validate me’ yep. Totally feel you. Had v similar issues with DH when Finn was tiny. It’s SO tough. Make sure you’re ok please. Take time for yourself, because you are super important; Joe adores you as does your DH and they want you to feel good about you, too.

@MrsH497 - it took us 4 cycles with Finn but I’m conscious I’m older bow and that probably means a lot as over 35 so I’m not sure it’ll happen as quick for us.

@TrashKitten10 - lovely tree! I’m the most festive person ever but I’m just not feeling it this year. Trying to drag myself into it for Finn’s sake!

[Lemonysherbet]

I just watched an episode of ER and it's all about NICU and my it made me sad and wanna hug jack so hard.

Aren't we all so lucky ❤️

[purplefig]

@ELW85 @MrsH497 ooo how exciting about trying for number 2! I can't believe we've gone through TTC, then this thread, now some are TT2...it feels like only yesterday I stumbled across you lovely lot.

@Lemonysherbet we really are!

@TrashKitten10 hahaa sorry, but that did make me laugh. Sums up like with a baby on the loose! Gorgeous tree though

@Fivebyfive2 so festive!

@MrsEG I love it when something 'clicks' like that, sounds like it's had a hugely positive impact on you. Beautiful pics of the beautiful boys too!

How's everyone doing today? I'm happy people are so happy about the vaccine, but I for one have a few reservations and will not be rolling my sleeve up any time soon .

[stormtrooperjulian]

Hi all! How is everyone doing? I haven't been on here in ages. Dex is 14 months old now, has been walking for a couple of months and is a proper little boy now - where has my baby gone?!

Have had a quick look through the latest posts, looks like a couple of people are planning to ttc no. 2 in the new year - us too! Hoping it doesn't take too long, I don't want the gap too big (but at least 2 years, hence waiting til new year 😂 I don't want to try 2 under 2!).

[MrsEG]

@MrsH497 So glad she’s feeling better!

@ELW85 That physio appointment sounds fabulous! Has it put your mind at ease at all? They really do have their own quirks and figure everything out at their own pace. The boys are 10 months old and I only just got a wave out of them this week. I’m convinced they’ve picked it up at nursery!

@Fivebyfive2 oh love!! I really hope you’re okay. I think parenthood can be very hard on Dad as they’re expected to take care of us so much too!! I hope you’re doing okay. I agree with a lot of what ELW85 said also!

@TrashKitten10 Ha I love it!! We’ve had to put our tree in the dining room to keep them well away. I tried a Christmas shoot today and it went terribly haha! I’ll upload a snap 🙈

@Lemonysherbet I had a NICU walk through to prepare me for that eventuality (common with twins) I’ll never forget it. Count my lucky stars the boys didn’t need it! Hope you’re okay xx

@purplefig It really has clicked, in a good way! What are your vaccine reservations? I only ask because I work in the pharmaceutical industry (not directly, all my clients are pharma if that makes sense!). I’m delighted by the vaccine, so pleased. Normal life is on the horizon!!

@stormtrooperjulian 14 months old!! My gosh! Great to hear he’s toddling, Conor took steps at 9 months 🤯 but his brother is much more content on all fours still haha!

Well, we’ve had a shocking week! Actually had a 999 call. Ruairí has been extremely poorly with a viral infection, cough, nose, conjunctivitis, very bad chest. He’s so unwell. Conor has a touch of it, but seems to be handling it much better. For 48 hours I just could not get Ruairí’s temperature down. Thank god for this bloody NHS is all I’ll say! Phenomenal with him all week - even when he shit on a consultant 😕
He’s had almost a full day of no fever today though so 🤞🏻🤞🏻🤞🏻 were almost through it!

[Lemonysherbet]

@mrseg glad he's ok, must have been very scary for you.

@stormtrooperjulian I've only got a 6 month old but I keep thinking about the next baby already. Although it's mainly how does anyone ever have 2, and how do you get over the first birth to want to do it again 😂

[purplefig]

@stormtrooperjulian I cannot believe time has gone so fast we're on to round two of TTC! Dex sounds like he's coming along fantastically.

@MrsEG so sorry to hear about Ruairí, that must've been so scary for you. So, so pleased his fever has come down, that must be such a relief. Good grief they are so cute! How's your sister getting on btw?

Because of some unpleasant interactions I've had in other threads, I feel the need to preface this with the disclaimer that I am resolutely NOT an 'anti vaxxer', I have had all of my jabs up to now, as will M. I just have a few concerns about this one...a) it's a mRNA vaccine, which has never been approved for use in humans before (other than in clinical trials) b) it's not known whether or not it stops you getting the virus, just that it lessens symptoms c) I totally understand how it has been developed so quickly thanks to funding, all the best brains working on it etc., but all the money in the world cannot replace time - at this stage we just don't know if there will be any long term side effects. (This trial doesn't even complete until 2023 - clinicaltrials.gov/ct2/show/NCT04368728). All that said, I really, really hope it works brilliantly and there are no issues and I'm just being overly cautious.

[stormtrooperjulian]

@MrsEG oh no poor Ruairi! That must have been so scary. Glad to hear the NHS took good care of him and he's on the mend now

@Lemonysherbet I will be requesting an elective C section when I get pregnant again, no way am I going through labour again 😂

[MrsEG]

@Lemonysherbet @purplefig @stormtrooperjulian Thank you, he’s still not himself at all and the conjunctivitis I’m struggling to get on top of but he’s much happier today than he has been!

@purplefig Totally valid concerns! I honestly wouldn’t worry too much from a personal perspective though, I imagine it will be a very long time before the young and healthy are offered the vaccine. So we’ll have an awful lot more real-world data by then! I’ve worked both directly and indirectly with the MHRA and they have my complete confidence. Plus, new doesn’t mean bad - it just means new. RNAs have been used in trials before and very successfully here too. But you’re completely and totally entitled to your opinion on it! Just do what you feel works best for you! I’m just so, so pleased for those who are so at risk, so vulnerable - this year has been hell for so many and it’s that light at the end of the tunnel. So much of medicine is risk vs benefit and it finally gives so many people the option. I just think the scientists involved here have done such an incredible thing too!! I’m a science nerd and it’s made me very happy today. I’m daydreaming about next summers BBQs! Sat with a halloumi skewer and a cold glass of something, the pandemic a long forgotten nightmare. Perhaps I’m getting ahead of myself, haha. But yes - the young and healthy are a long way off getting a dose, so you’ll have time to sit and see how it goes first!

[Fivebyfive2]

Hi all!

@MrsEG, I'm so sorry to here Ruiri has been so ill, but it sounds like he's coming through it. Do you have eye drops for him? We had to give Joe drops when he had conjunctivitis, I can't imagine trying to get them in now he's so mobile!! Totally feel you on the NHS too, honestly don't know where I'd be without them! Love the picture 😍

@purplefig, I get what you mean about the vaccine. Like you I have all the jabs going and so does Joe. Mil is anti vax and dh didn't get some of his until I found out and basically made him get them (he wanted them, but never organised it!) It drives me crackers when she makes comments about Joe getting his jabs. But yeah, this covid one does feel verrry quick. Like @MrsEG says though, I'm trying to trust that the funding and collaboration have paid off and that those that do get it first will be fine.

@ELW85, you are totally right about dh! He is just so self critical, it drives me mad because if he could just take a step back and really see things, he'd see he's a great dad, but not trying for fear of 'failing' is like a self fulfilled prophecy, if that makes sense?!

Things have been loads better this week. He is back at work so it's less full on. Joe is actually sleeping quite well and self settling without nearly as much crying, bless him. He is obsessed with assisted walking! Determined to try independent walking, but his balance is nowhere near yet so we have to be on hand. And we're forming a fully allowed childcare bubble with my parents, sooo relieved 😀

Rotary club santa went by tonight, I was so excited! Joe was more interested in my water bottle, I may wrap it up for his birthday 😂 Here is pic of him in his Christmas pj's 🎄🎅

Thanks to everyone for your support. I love this thread and you ladies so much. Can't believe how many are about to ttc number 2, it's awesome!

[Fivebyfive2]

@MrsEG, sorry I meant to say, I love that picture because it is exactly how I'd imagine Joe would be if we attempted a proper photo shoot... It would go completely wrong! These babies... Xx