Hi all!
So the first week back went really well! The funniest thing happened though. I had to attend some mental resilience and well-being training at the end of the week. My work luckily are excellent with mental health and a work life balance but this year with the pandemic they’ve initiated this training. And I was just like, okay fine, I’ll join. I know the drill. Take regular breaks, don’t get distracted by your phone, etc.
But it was amazing. It’s changed me haha. So basically it was an independent thing, very non-biased. And so many people were talking about their mental health with working from home so much etc, and I mentioned it was actually my first week back from mat leave. He asked how I was finding it and I explained I actually found work fine, but had an awful mat leave, felt like I’d really grieved for it, felt so angry about what I’d lost.
And we got in to this discussion about it and he basically said I was stuck at the ‘anger’ stage of the cycle of grief. And the longer you stay there the more unhealthy it becomes. Because anger gets you nowhere, it just makes you more angry: you’ll just keep directing your anger at new places. It just resonated so much with me. And he mentioned that you just have to drive towards acceptance. Yes, this year has been so terrible, especially for a new mother - but why dwell on that? What will it achieve? And so we discussed positive affirmations (you can see I totally railroaded this training can’t you) and honestly - I can’t tell you how much of a difference it’s made already. I try really hard to avoid the ‘this year has been shit, I can’t believe how my whole mat leave has been in lockdown, how crap is it that we’ve been able to do nothing’ and flipped it so when I speak to DH I’m trying out ‘How amazing is it to have become parents this year, look how well the boys are doing, wasn’t it lovely how Conor was hugging his Nana the other day’ etc. I’m probably explaining this terribly and making it sound very ‘woo’. But it’s lifted me, it really has.
But on the flip side of course if you need to be mad, hate drink wine in the evening, throw things at Boris on the telly - just do what you need to do!!!!!
I’m so excited to see people discussing number two as well! As an instant mother of two haha, yes it’s very hard, you constantly need more hands and eyes - but my goodness, the bond they have. It is the most incredible thing. They were sat this morning watching nursery rhymes and drinking their milk, stroking each other’s heads. It’s as hard as it is just fabulous and wonderful to have two children it really is.
@thumper59 why are the north being penalised so much! It just doesn’t make sense to me. Freddie is so gorgeous!! I love a big lad haha, Ruairí is enormous - his current coat is 18-24 months!! Conor is much more ‘average’ in comparison haha!
I’m so sorry to read about your Aunt too, what terrible news x
@Fivebyfive2 Oh I am so sad to read this :( I echo what others have said in perhaps discussing it with him - he could have no idea he’s coming across the way that he is? I hope you’re okay.
@purplefig I bet your mum just adores having M too!! I have to tear the boys away from mine! I struggled at first with how lax she is with our routine etc but I’m just going with it now - I have such fond memories of ice cream for dinner and a £1 slipped in to my hand to go and buy sweets with my grandparents and I want the boys to have that too!
@MrsH497 oh how awful!! I hope she’s doing much better now.
@Lemonysherbet I think people do forget the wonderful things that also happened this year - your gorgeous boy included!! Xx
@ELW85 Sounds like a huge project!! It’ll be amazing to have your own personal stamp on the whole house though. I’m still trying that with our home 4 years on haha! Ahh happy 8 months beautiful boy x