Ttc 1st baby catch up 3rd thread!

[Fivebyfive2]

Thought as I'm bored and we're on page 40 of thread 2, I'd make a thread 3!

@MrsEG, aaahh your Halloween plans and costumes sound awesome 😀 I hope they get to go ahead as planned...

I have no idea what will happen in terms of a lockdown?? I think maybe they'll start with closing non essentials again first? My friend was saying she'd rather have a lockdown now or soon and then maybe be able to have things ease up for Christmas. To be honest I think over Christmas, people will do whatever anyway!

I'm so glad you're back on track with the weaning. You're doing amazingly well xx

Well! Saturday night we started in his room and made it until 11pm. Last night we started in his room and made it until 2am. Slow progress, but still progress! He's got 3 teeth now and I think a 4th on its way. Isolation is getting a bit grinding, but we're getting through the house jobs, having time in the garden and eating like little piggies to make it more bearable! Joe is constantly shuffling/scooching around and has been up on his hands and feet this morning 😂

Hope every one is doing OK? We'll need a new thread soon 😛

@MrsR16 @purplefig @ELW85 @LikeTheFruit @cupcakesandglitter @MrsH497 @Larrydavid @lokicat @stormtrooperjulian @thumper59 @ranchorelaxo @TrashKitten10 @delilah7

Sorry if I've forgotten anyone! Xx

@thumper59, we've got the Ferber book... In the past we've tried pickup/put down (he just got annoyed) and pat/shhh (our record was an hour and still no sleep!) so now we're just biting the bullet and going for it.

So our plan from tonight is... Bed routine as normal, except I feed him downstairs and then we put him in the cot. If he's just babbling etc we leave him. If he cries, we go in after 2 mins, then 4, then 6 and build it up to 10, as long as he's not too worked up. And in the night when he wakes, pretty much the same. If it's been a few hours of sleep, I'll feed him but put him down awake.

Then once he doesn't need boob to go to sleep, that'll take the pressure off at least and I'll see about cutting out the night feeds. Apparently he may do this naturally if he doesn't need them to fall back to sleep.

I actually feel awful already... Not really told anyone 'in real life' because I'm scared they'll either think I'm terrible or (in the case of dhs family) be really smug because they've been telling me to do it since he was 2 weeks old!

@Fivebyfive2 good luck to you. Please don't feel bad- your an amazing mum! Freddie is still weird with his sleep. 9/10 he will have a bottle and go straight to sleep but he goes through random nights where he won't. Or he's up numerous times in the night for no apparent reason at all! He will self settle sometimes but we still have most nights numerous trips into his room because he's lost his dummy 🙄

Omg... he's asleep! I fed him downstairs, we did teeth, story and his song, then had a cuddle and put him down in the cot awake. It took 23.5 mins from putting him down to him going off. He basically cried from the second we put him down, which was horrible. Dh went in at 2 mins, 5 mins, 10 mins and we were part way through the 2nd 10 min wait (I was seriously about to go in and put him on the boob!) when he just went quiet. That was 20 mins ago. Obviously we'll see how the night goes, but I'm a bit encouraged just because it didn't take 2 hours like I was afraid it would!

@thumper59, thank you!! I felt awful while he was crying and I cried almost long as he did, but I'm hoping if he can fall asleep without needing the boob, it will be better for us all in the long term. Xx

@thumper59 Freddie is just scrummy! I can’t believe he’s 1 already. He sounds like he’s doing amazing! How are you getting on at the moment?

@Fivebyfive2 Good luck lovely!! As you know we sleep trained so early at 10 weeks!! It was a bit stop start but I remember the ‘leaving to cry’ parts and I was the same, often found sobbing at the top of the stairs. Please don’t worry about what anyone may think, you have to do what is best for the entire family you really do. I don’t know anyone who’s had twins who didn’t try some form of sleep training to get some rest! And they’re brilliant self settlers now. Good luck with it! The initial days and nights will feel so long but you’ll get there!

Hope everyone is okay! We had the boys 9-month check yesterday face to face, it was brilliant! The HV was just so, so lovely and reassuring and helpful. The boys scored so well, they’re not hitting all the communication markets yet but she had zero concerns and thinks they’re just so focused on walking they don’t have time for waving haha!
They’ve also had all their nursery settling mornings now and they went fine, they start on Tuesday - as do i, back at work! Such mixed feelings about it. Feels odd to be closing the book on this chapter!! My little babies aren’t so little babies anymore!

Have good weekends x

@MrsEG, thank you for those kind words, I absolutely love this thread and how we are all supporting each other 🙂 I'm not surprised the hv visit went so well, those boys are thriving and you do so well! Keep us updated on how you get on at work xxx

Last night went soooo much better than I expected!! After conking out after 25 mins at bedtime (about 7.30) he woke just after 8 and we thought 'oohh this is it' but I went in, gave him a pat and a kiss, left and within 5 mins he was asleep. He didn't wake properly until 1.15! I fed him but put him down fully awake. Dh went in after 10 mins and just as I was about to go in at the 2nd 10 min interval, he conked out,just before 2am. Then he woke for the day at 6am and seemed his usual happy self!

We did a short version of the routine this morning for his nap... Waited for his sleepy cues, fed downstairs (he hardly had anything) in to his room for morning tooth brushing, super short story, into sleeping bag, cuddle, into cot. He did cry, but it was more a 'moany' cry than an upset one. Dh went in after 5 mins. By 15 mins he is asleep! 😮

@Fivebyfive2 So glad the sleep training went well, fingers crossed Joe keeps it up! You definitely deserve some sleep :)

@MrsEG Sounds like everything is going really well with the boys. Well done on all your hard work getting to this point. Are you feeling any better?

Daisy is getting on really well. She's still a bit slow on the talking side and only says mum, dada and bru (brush) but she understands loads so I'm not worried. Still a monkey, into everything and constantly getting her hands stuck in the bin trying to root about and pull the rubbish out 🥴😂Sorry to be so absent and not to do much catching up. I have been reading the posts and love seeing all the babies but have y felt up to replying. My mum's cancer has returned and spread and she is moving onto palliative treatment which I can write about but I don't think I've really absorbed yet, just in a state of denial. I'm also a bit worried about my own health after years of higher risk smear tests and an investigation and biopsy I'm now having some irregular bleeding which has freaked me out a bit. I'm not normally much of a health worrier but with everything going on I'm just feeling really anxious. Sorry to be Debbie downer. I'm not really talking about stuff much in real life so I've just word vomited all that up x

@Fivebyfive2 that's amazing!! Woo sounds like the start of good sleep with joe!!

@MrsEG they grow up so fast! Glad they are doing well. Hope you are too! Freddie is fabulous thanks. And I'm good! Bit fed up but hey ho aren't we all! Xx

@Fivebyfive2 That sounds like a bloody brilliant first night!! Well done all of you!

@thumper59 fed up is right! There is literally NOTHING to do is there!!!

@TrashKitten10 Oh my gosh, I’m so sad to read all of this. I don’t have the words - I cannot imagine how you’re feeling at the moment. Are you able to see your mum? Please do look after yourself. Word vomit here whenever you like - I know how cathartic it can be sometimes to just write down what you struggle to say aloud x

@TrashKitten10 I'm so sorry to read that. Echo what @MrsEG says. Always talk here if you need to xx

@MrsEG absolutely nothing. I'm generally chill
And it is what it is type of person but it's really starting to bug me now. It's the not knowing where we stand!

@TrashKitten10 I am so sorry to hear about your mum, I cannot imagine having to go through that, especially this year. I'm sorry to read of your own health concerns too, I think everybody is feeling more anxious than normal at the moment so this is a totally normal reaction. Did the investigation and biopsy find anything or are you awaiting results? I'm sending you so many big hugs. It's absolute shit and it's OK to feel numb/distraught/whatever. We're all here for you if you want to vent. Big huge hugs my lovely.

@MrsEG Ahhh I bet you're so proud of your beautiful boys - they are coming along fantastically! Like your HV said, I'm sure all babies have their strengths and weaknesses - and your two are absolutely leaps ahead on all the physical stuff. Excellent you were able to have it in person too, I've had a letter to say ours is a video call. How were they at nursery? And how do you feel about returning to work? It comes around bloody quickly doesn't it?!

@Fivebyfive2 so pleased to hear you are having some luck with the sleep, that's major! You are going to feel like a new person once you start getting some regular, undisturbed sleep. I know it's so hard when they cry, but like MrsEG said, you have to weigh it all up don't you? Your mental health matters too. We did some very light sleep training at 5.5 months as I was starting to lose my grip on reality and I have zero regrets, as now we both get good quality sleep and are much, much happier. And I can now string a sentence together!!

@thumper59 Just seen your pics of Freddie - he looked like he had a ball at his birthday party!! Did you manage to celebrate yours too?

@ELW85 How're you and Finn getting on my lovely? Sorry I've been slack at staying in touch the last month or so. Thinking of you both lots.

M was nine months yesterday and she's just starting repeating back 'mama' which is the cutest thing ever. I'm sure she has no idea what she's saying, but I'll take it! She's just such a delight at the moment (when she's not hungry or tired!) and full of laughs. I get the sense she is a very outgoing character and likes to be doing things....so it's been hard adjusting to lockdown again. My own mental health is taking a bit of a battering with it all to be honest. I'm OK, but I feel like it's a constant effort to pick myself up. I am pretty f*'d off with our government to be honest, the lack of transparency and the odd use of data is just staggering. I found this in the BMJ an interesting read: www.bmj.com/content/371/bmj.m4425

I started back at work a few weeks back - I just do one day a week and a few evenings (I'm self employed and work from home so can be fairly flexible). DH has her in the evenings and then my mum has her for a full day on Friday which is going grand. M absolutely adores her (and vice versa), haven't even been any tears yet!

Those that are BFing how are you getting on? Any thoughts about how long you'll keep it up? M still has quite a bit, though on Friday's she has formula in the day now as I cannot hack pumping. I don't see any reason to stop, planning to be led by her. Ish!

Thinking of you all lots. I hope you're all managing to find some good in every day, even if every day isn't good. xxxx

@purplefig can totally relate to how your feeling. I am the same! I managed to motivate myself a little first time around but this one I'm just like what the fuck 😂. I hate this whole 'behave yourself now you'll get a few days for Christmas- pay for it January though' it all feels a bit patronising!

So glad your all ok. Freddie is so outgoing and confident too! My nephew is 4 months older and is so loving and sensitive. Freddie is loving but he is a bull in a China shop and not shy at all!! We did thank you. We'd planned to do Freddie a jungle party, but little did I know mum had done me a surprise party In the other half of the house too! So lovely of her- originally she'd planned it as a surprise that the day was going to go on longer and we'd have an afternoon tea for me which obviously just happened on a much smaller scale, I've attached both our cakes! So it was a lovely surprise. Certainly broke up this bloody lockdown 🙄

Hi ladies! I've just been absolutely maxed out for the past few weeks, hence why I haven't been on here.

Ethan and I are doing alright, he's getting used to going to the childminder's (he didn't cry yesterday at drop off, but did this morning!) 😂 and loves being at MIL's on a Monday! I start my new job on Monday, so I'm all kinds of nervous, totally not ready to be the new girl again!

It's his birthday a week Sunday and I'm totally not ready for him to be a year old!! 😭 I've bought bits and pieces off eBay to try and decorate the entire living/dining room for it! I'm determined to have a birthday party for him, even if we end up having to Zoom the rest of the family!

@thumper59 aw your party looks great!! And the cakes look just amazing... happy birthday to you and Freddie!! Can't believe he's 1 already!

@purplefig how is M 9 months old?!? 😲 I hope you're finding ways to cope. You've totally got this! You're doing great 😊

@TrashKitten10 I am so sorry to read this about your mum. No words will ever make it easier but you've always got us to fall back on as a listening ear! I'm sending you and your family all my best wishes!

@Fivebyfive2 oh, Joe's doing so well! Well done for doing sleep training...

@MrsEG obviously I keep eyes on the boys on Insta and they are doing just wonderfully! Of course 😊

@Larrydavid aww look at Rory! Just beautiful!! 😍 time definitely continues to fly!

Picture of my cheeky chops drinking his bottle, just because! 😂

Afternoon all

I’m so so sorry, I’ve not been ignoring anyone I’ve still been a bit weird about Finn’s development so avoiding any opportunity to compare.

And I’m back at work. And we’ve just moved house!

I hate myself for working because I know I’m not dedicating that time to Finn with a full focus as I have been in the past months, but it’s also inevitable and nice in a way to have a different side of me reactivated.
I know my heart is going to fully break come January when he’s in nursery though!

@Fivebyfive2 @thumper59 @MrsEG @purplefig @MrsR16 - thank you for all asking after meeting and I’m sorry to anyone I’ve missed out!

@purplefig - I’m really sorry your mental health has taken a battering too. It’s so hard this parenting on top of an unprecedented novel virus! This is not how any of us pictures anything but M is thriving and you’re obviously doing such a wonderful job.

I am sorry that I’m being really selfish and stepping back a bit (still). You’re all on my mind on a daily basis, and I hope you and your beautiful babies keep going from strength to strength. You’re all amazing ladies and I feel very lucky to ever have ‘met’ you xx

Hi ladies!

Well I am back at work! It’s not been so bad, lots of inductions and paperwork, coupled with the usual WFH IT issues! The boys first day at nursery couldn’t have gone better. They even had two naps. Just on the floor with blankets and 10 other babies - HOW do they do it, what is this wizardry!!! I got to have a wee glance in their baby room from outside and they were both playing with other babies - my heart 💘 They really loved it though, they’ve literally been knackered ever since haha. Back in tomorrow! They just do two days, DH has them one day and my folks have them another.

I thought I’d feel awful about being back at work and them being in nursery but I actually have really enjoyed these last few days. I feel like there’s some structure back in my life again. I know the boys are safe and I know how much being in the nursery environment will no doubt help them develop too in the absence of literally any baby classes here (The Bastard North, tier 3 again!) and I’ve had lovely long lunch breaks at home, hot cups of tea. Adult conversations. I almost feel bad for saying how much I’ve loved it?! I REALLY missed them on Tuesday though and went to pick them up an hour early 🙈

@thumper59 It’s just shite isn’t it!! What tier have you gone in to today? T3 for us so just same shit different day!! Those cakes are just amazing! How special to have had a surprise party :)

@purplefig M sounds like she’s doing so well! Sorry to hear you’ve been feeling down, I think we’ve all been there this year! It’s just been the most impossible year for first time parents. I still get sad when I think about the what could have beens. Please do take extra special care with yourself, lots of breaks when you can.

@MrsR16 I can’t believe he’s nearly 1! Ahh how has he found the childminder, are there many other kids there with him? You will do so amazing with the new job. I feel like the new girl in my own job at the moment haha! Just truly take it a day at a time, get your feet under the table. Ask for help if you need it! You’ll do fab.

@ELW85 Hello lovely, I’m so glad to hear from you but sorry to hear you’re still worried. No obligation whatsoever but if you ever want to chat you know where I am. A new house!! How fabulous. Lots of decorating plans?? How have you found being back at work so far? He will love nursery. I was dreading it a bit, so anxious the night before but they just had a ball.

@MrsEG glad your enjoying being back at work! I felt the same. It's nice to be someone but mum just for a little while isn't it. Also I'm glad the boys love nursery- so does Freddie!! I think it's so good for them. Freddie has come on leaps and bounds. We are also north and also into tier 3 again 🙄 I don't think we've been out of total lockdown or tier 3 since March where we are 🙈

Also can I just add a quick picture of Freddie. I can't believe how grown up he is and how much has changed In a year. My Facebook memories of him keep coming up and it makes my ovaries ache like crazy. He is a big lad! He looks about 3 here doesn't he 🙈😂

Hi all, I keep trying to do a reply and getting called away!

@ELW85, how's the house? Have you decided where the tree is going?! I'm really sorry to hear you're still having worries, but it sounds like Finn is doing well at nursery and hopefully being back at work will give you a bit of balance. We're all here for you xx

@TrashKitten10, sending you lots of love and support xx

@MrsEG, I'me you will smash being back at work and the boys will adore nursery and all the social aspects it brings! I'm gutted Joe can't go to nursery, but hopefully my hours will increase in the summer and he can go then 🤞

@MrsR16, I've been thinking of you and your new job... Go and get em, you can do it! Ethan is such a smasher 😎

@thumper59, love that pic of Freddie! Oooo, are you broody for another already?! Xx

@purplefig @lemonysherbet @cupcakesandglitter @MrsH497, hope you're all doing OK? Xx

Well, this week has been pretty pants, not gonna lie! Dh has been off but haven't done much, obviously. Had some nice walks! We've been doing the sleep training, but had to scale it back to just night time and muddling through with naps, as Joe was finding it too much and cried every time we went to his room, it was heartbreaking 😢 He hasn't fed to sleep since Friday afternoon though!! He can self settle at night now, but sometimes it's only 5 mins but others it's 45 mins, so still pretty hard. Naps have been cuddles, pram, car etc.

Dh is really struggling. He gets so stressed and upset. I wouldn't say this to anyone in 'real life' but sometimes in the back of my mind I have this awful thought /feeling... That one day he's gonna say he can't hack it. Maybe I'm being dramatic or over sensitive, but it's not the first time I've wondered. I know he loves us both, but he just gets so overwhelmed. I try letting him take the lead because I know from when Joe was tiny that me taking on more and more to give him space does not solve anything really. Sorry to be such a downer! We have good times and like I say I know he loves us both to bits. I just don't know how to help him cope a bit better? Any advice?!

@Fivebyfive2 so sorry your still struggling. It must be so hard! I don't have any advice I just send love as I've formula fed Freddie from the start, which I think has made his sleep/routine a lot easier than had I of breast fed. So I take my hat off to you! I'm sure DH your wouldn't ever come to that. But I know it can be so hard for everyone to keep muddling on with bad sleep! If your having better nights then you are making improvements, keep going you've got this ❤️

I don't know, I would have another tomorrow when I fantasise it in my head, the reality is different though isn't it! Think I'd like to have at least until Freddie goes to school nursery so I can enjoy every minute of him until then then try for another

@thumper59 so sweet of your mum to make you both a cake! Glad you got to celebrate yourself too. I can't believe how big Freddie is now!

@MrsR16 wow Ethan is looking so big - look at those beautiful eyes! So glad it's all going well with you guys. I hope you get to celebrate his birthday

@purplefig it's crazy how big he is. Hope you are both well! I totally agree. It makes me swear every day too!! It's just the no sign of it getting better that gets me

Hey ladies thanks for the rage @Fivebyfive2
Massively struggling today I'm so fed up with this now. DH works stupid hours with work so when he's at work I'm at home looking at the same walls with Charlotte (who's been really poorly) I go for walks but my god I'm craving a hug from my mum and to see my grandparents. Grandpa was taken ill we couldn't go and see them as they are London based. He was taken to hospital Gran couldn't go with him so luckily my aunt is bubbled with them.

Charlotte about 10 days ago was starting a temp called 111 basically don't worry don't be silly it's only 38/38.5. Have an out of hours appointment and a Covid test for her. Next day as we go to do bedtime she's boiling like touching a lightbulb call 111 again as her temp was over 39 oh call your gp in the morning. I do that "well I can't really get excited over it as there's no obvious cause. No cough nothing like a sore throat. Pop a urine sample in" she had signs of an infection so they gave her 2 days of antibiotics and sent the sample to the lab. Tuesday she started temps again called the gp again to chase the results oh yes there's an infection she needs 7 days of antibiotics. Everyone kept trying to tell me it was teething.

Sorry for the rant ladies. Will have a read and catch up l hope you're all ok xxx

Rage?! I meant tag! Here's a cute pic of little lady

Sorry I've been shite again... This covid malarky is such a bloody rollercoaster and the thought of spending until April in a semi lockdown is getting to me, as I'm sure it is everyone else. My whole mat leave will be spent with this stupid pandemic. And to top it off im sick of people saying how shit 2020 is because it gave me my baby boy.

Sorry for the rant. Im just a little sad and bitter today :(

@purplefig just saw your rant too. I'll join you with the mouth washing 😂 in all seriousness I could think of a few stronger words to release but I'll now out gracefully

Afternoon all

@MrsEG - thank you, I’ll drop you a line. I’m not enjoying work in the sense that I just want to be with Finn 24/7 but I know nursery will do wonders for him and his development so I’m trying to not be selfish!
We’re starting on the kitchen/dining room project in Jan. knocking it all through into a big living area open plan thing. And it needs a full rewire so will be redecorating pretty much everything sadly. It’s gonna look amazing when we’re done though!
I’m so pleased you’re enjoying work and the boys are bossing nursery. It must be doing you the world of good ❤️

@Fivebyfive2 - I think the tree is going in the living room bay window but next year we’ll probably have one in the kitchen too.
I’m so, so sorry you’re feeling like that. I know my DH was feeling like that when Finn was little, and it’s super hard. I used to always wonder if he was just gonna say ‘sod this it’s too much’ and I told him that one day when he was being particularly fractious and he was horrified. He did a lot to reassure me that we are his world and he couldn’t believe he’d acted to the point of making me feel like that. I’m sure you will have done, but have you told DH the impression he’s giving you? A heart to heart to clear the air might help.
And please don’t worry about sleep. Finn has been self settling since 3-4 months and all of a sudden, he can’t do it without a cuddle. Everything changes all the time with them, so just know you’re doing an amazing job!

@purplefig - thank you so much ❤️ And swear away! 2020 has been fucking shite with the babies being the exception. A parcel of unprecedented shite. But we’ve survived and we will be stronger for it.

@thumper59 - Freddie looks so much like you! Gorgeous boy 💙 you’re doing so well with him. We’re wanting a second but the clock is ticking for me 😂

@MrsH497 - I’m sorry it’s been tough with Charlotte being poorly. It’s great they’ve given you antibiotics though. When Finn had a severe upper RSI they wouldn’t treat him other than calpol!

We went for a lovely coastal walk this morning. Cold but worth it. I love having the sea at the bottom of the street!
Finn is 8 months old today and I can’t quite get my head around it...