October 2007 - the golden piglets have landed

[Mumpbump]

I couldn't find a postnatal thread - not sure if I am just missing it with post-childbirth brain! Anyone else around??

Mrs Fish I had a chicco chair with Ollie and it was fab. Very much the same as the chair I've just bought in that it holds them much better than the M&P bouncy chair I first bought. Also they can then be used as feeding chairs when weaning..(I have to turf Ollie out of it now as he's too big!!)

I have the same sort of chair as MrsFish ... and it's wonderful - I like the fact that I can change the angle of reline, which has been an absolute Godsend with Mairwen, as she needs to sit up so much!

Well, our news is a mixture: the hv came around this morning - Mairwen is thriving, and now weighs 12lb 8oz (10 weeks today) - she's slap bang on the 75th centile ... and, with her sleeping (nearly) through - 11pm - 5am ish is sleeping through as far as I'm concerned, then the exclusive bf is obviously suiting her down to the ground.

The bad news is, as I feared, that I'm swinging into the pnd zone again ... I had a chat to the hv about it - she's coming to visit again next week - to see me rather than Mairwen, and is going to speak to the GP - then I'll talk to her about it on Thursday when I go to have my Mirena fitted.

I think I'd be on the ok side if things weren't so bad with dh - over the weekend, dh has seen MiL completely blank me - and not just once either, and refuse to admit that I knew best for my baby, and has said nothing to her - he doesn't want to upset her.

We had a row last night: I pointed out that although MiL is going through a hard time with the scenario with C's paretns and partner using her and FiL as go-betweens, at least she has the support of her husband.
I was quite nasty to him, in fact, and told him that I was fed up of him putting my feelings second to his mother's -

He's away on site tonight, and we didn't make up our row this morning.

In fact, it wasn't a row, it was me telling him how I was feeling, and him sitting there and saying diddly squat ... I might as well have been talking to the wall - although walls don't sulk!

Am now going to cut back the Cosmos and Almeria in the front garden - the frosts have hit them, and they now look a mess!

Hello lovely ladies,

Sounds like most people are doing well - great to hear you so happy inzi. Muppet you also sound really upbeat - must be much better this time as I know you had awful PND last time.

Dal great news about being able to express more ebm. And Stefka ou are doing great too - sod the smug sil - its not a competition. If she has it easy now then there will be some area that she struggles with later. This is called parenting. Most people have some things tough and others easy and they're not all the same.

Ejt - sorry to hear you're struggling honey. Sending you virtual hugs. MAirwen sounds like she is thriving though and great news on the sleep. Adam hasn't repeated his Friday night effort yet but at least I know he can do it! I can fully understand why you were pissed off with your dh but he is going through a tricky time too I guess. Hang in there honey - it sounds like he is a star most of the time so sure he will understand where you are coming from and all will sort itself out.

Floria - hope you get to the bottom of what is making Alex so sick - thinking of you

Missbumpy sorry to hear you had a row with dp but glad he seems to have accepted that he is being crap.

Choc - great news on the swing!

Don't think I've forgotton anything - hello Polar Colly and Apricott and anyone else I haven't mentioned in person...

Well we're doing OK I think. Adam seems a bit happier and doesn't need to be strapped to me all the time to be settled - just managed to give Sam his lunch and read him a story when settling him for his lunchtime nap with Adam in the car seat (we've been out to a toddler group this am). It was great as it meant I could give Sam a proper cuddle and he settled quicker for his sleep... Both boys sleeping now so all good!

And I've made £250 selling all my expensive maternity stuff on ebay! Spent well more than that buying it as got a bit of an Isabella Oliver fixation, but makes it worth while when you can sell it all for that much! That was how I justified buying expensive stuff I wouldn't wear for very long anyway!

Anyway off to have some lunch and me time (anyone remember what that is?!?!) while both boys are sleeping... Catch you later x

EJT;Sorry to hear that your DH isnt giving you the support you need at the moment.It is sometimes hard for men to totally cut the apron strings but why is it that when they dont have a solution to a problem they go into their "caves" and clam up as if the problem will go away if they ignore it? Having seen you suffer pnd before, he should recognise the symptoms and understand how much support you need. However the person I really dont understand is your mil, despite her grief and problems at the moment how could she ignore you and your wishes pertaining to your child?..She has been a mother herself she should know how strong your feelings are when it comes to your babys welfare.
I haven't quite the same problem, but my DH keeps wittering on about how my Mum babysits(ie gets access to Alex) 3 days a week when I work but his Mum has barely seen Alex in comparison...is it my fault that his Mum still works so cant babysit when I need a sitter? and has been to India on holiday for 2 of the past 10 weeks? But also, she totally scoffs at my usage of real nappies and holding out over a potty, so how can I ask her to babysit for any length of time if she wont follow my care regime?
I hope you manage to work things out soon and tht you feel better for having tidied the garden... oh and if you want more gardening therapy I've got one that hasnt been touched for 12 weeks for you to tackle

EJT - first off am really impressed you even know the names of the plants in your front gardern I am still a 'that looks pretty, we'll get one of those' kind of gardener!! My dh was a lot like yours regarding his mother it was really hard getting him to see my point rather than just saying 'well, you don;t like my mother so you;re biased'. I had to give him specific examples of what had upset me as she did tend to be really sneaky. Once he noticed a few things (to be honest, he'd been so used to being hen pecked he really didn't see or hear what she was saying, to him it was normal) he noticed more and then started standing up for not only me but himself. This, as you can imagine, casued ructions as I was obviously leading him astray as previously he'd done exactly what she'd wanted and now he actually questioned her authority which she hated.

It's been a while and I think (I hope!) she's realised I'm not the ogre and I'm not going anywhere. She was fantastic when Henry was born, listening, working with us and most of all she let us have our own opinions about how we were going to bring our children up -she had said we were to strict with Oliver but then in the same breath she would say how well behaved he was like it happened by magic.

The best bit was when she was leaving she gave me a hug and said that she was very proud of me

Her mum (dh's grandmother) was diagnosed with a tumour on her pancreas (sp?) and that it had spread to her liver and that there is nothing more they can do for her so I am making a huge effort for MIL as she is really upset atm -her mum's in Austria and she's just come back but she doesn't know how long her mum's got. She seems to be trying with us also as she's coming to Ollie's nativity (he's a sheep) driving down by herself which is a big deal. I'm going to take the kids next week and stay an extr couple of days to help her with the house for Christmas.

All this has taken 5 years though (and many, many arguements!)

Alice- Yep, I am feeling upbeat atm. I feel I'm coping with the b/f, broken nights and having 2 children (most of the time anyway) certainly don't feel any more anxious than any new mum would be. The only angst I really have is the deep regret that I didn't get to feel this way with Ollie. I didn't experience the rush of love, the wanting to hold your baby and never let go and the feeling of having achieved the most amazing thing of having a baby. I am just so grateful I have it now and that I did actually get to experience it
It's been 5 weeks -to the day and it's gone to quickly for me....

lllllllol inzi!

Inzi!!!

Ejt, big hugs to you. I am so sorry you're feeling like the PND is coming back - at least you recognise it and maybe will be able to avoid it since you see the warning signs. If it's any comfort I've consistently seen you as remarkably strong as a mother - you were effortlessly doing things when Mairwen was a week old that would take some people a year! Mother in laws are a nightmare indeed and I empathize. My DH can be v weak in relation to his mother and I think it is common in sons of dominant mothers... which doesnt make it easy for us!

Muppet, you too sound incredibly together and it's obvious you're enjoying Henry and Ollie so much now!

Inzi, ditto - mmm for dinner out - don't think we're quite at that stage yet tho we've managed lunch a couple of times.

Dal, I ordered my Hugabub on a Saturday and it came on the Tuesday following. It's fab - honest.

Alice, well done on Ebay... I managed to avoid Isabelle Oliver throughout pregnancy (I scruffed about in a mix of H and M, Next and Blooming Marvellous) but have since been tempted by a posh 'feeding' dress which I will have no occasion to wear from the Internet...

The swing is wonderful. Rebecca does fall asleep in it - more catnaps than long sleeps but when she isnt asleep she still loves it. Stefka it was 79.99 (reduced from 99.99) which isn't cheap but it's worth it to allow Mummy to eat her lunch and Mummy and Daddy to have dinner and a glass of wine (Rebecca doesn't go to sleep till 11 or after...). I do recommend it.

Oh and last night was a sleepathon! Little insomniac went to bed at 11 and didnt wake up till 6!!!! How good is that?! Sadly I did wake up from 3 onwards wondering why she wasnt awake and being paranoid Mummy sitting up in bed and peering into the Moses basket neurotically. And when I got up my breast pads were soaked, I had cannon ball breasts! but never mind, she slept through.
We went to register her this morning and took her into work to meet mine and DH's colleagues (we work in the same place, but different sections) and they loved her and she got more pressies!

OK, time to go see how she is - she and DH are bonding at the mo.
Have a good night all!

inzi - you've made me smile for the first time in ages ... thanks! !

ejt big hugs to you, hopefully your dh will see the error of his ways and start giving you the support you need.

This is the chair I have www.argos.co.uk/static/Product/partNumber/3754229/Trail/searchtext%3EBOUNCY.htm and Zoe loves it she will happily sit in it for ages and smiles at and chats to the little characters on the activity bar, its so cute. She wont sleep in it though but I guess you can't have everything.

Well Zoe fed at 6pm last night and was therefore due a feed at 10pm but by 10.30pm she was still asleep so I decided to put her in her cot and go to bed myself and she slept to 2am! Which is just great, now if I could just get her to sleep 11pm to 7am we would be landed When she was up at 2am I thought I was never going to get her back to sleep as she was lying in her pram kicking her legs and laughing away! What can you do but laugh with her and be thankful that she isn't screaming the place down. She had her jabs on Fri (almost two weeks late) and I am going to whisper this bit so listen carefully, so far no side effects

FT I hope you find out what is making Alex so sick its worrying isn't it. I was always told that it looks more milk than it really is, doesn't help though does it. I found it hard to get any of the HV's to listen to what I was saying about Zoe because she was putting on weight, but then I took her to see the GP and he was much better

Inzi, like you I am finding myself saying things like next time round I would ... and I have to catch myself on and realise that Zoe is only 10 weeks and that if I do have more children it won't be for a couple of years!

Hello to everyone else I haven't mentioned hope you are all keeping well, can't believe two weeks today is Christmas eve!

Choc thats fab about Rebecca's sleep!! Nice one! Know what you mean though about not sleeping because you're waiting for them to wake up!

Ejt - just re-read my last message to you - didn't mean to imply at all that you should put up with your dh being crap - was just trying to say that its probably partly because he is struggling too with losing C rather than that its OK to not be there for you. Really crap to not back you up with his mum. And she is being really unreasonable too. I guess the fact she is suffering is partly an excuse if it wasn't for the fact that it sounds like this is what she is normally like... Sending you big hugs xxx

Inzi - Have to say that 2 is unbelievably hard work but wonderful. Wouldn't be without my boys for anything! So hold on to your maternity things!

Floria - know what you mean about needing to know that someone will do what YOU want for your lo if you are going to be happy with them looking after them. I am very lucky that both my mum and mil are like this. I know that mil doesn't necessarily agree with everything we do (from comments she makes to dh rather than me) but that doesn't matter - she does as we ask. I'm very lucky - wish they didn't live so far away!

Muppet - glad things are going better with your mil. I can understand you feeling sad that you haven't experienced the feelings when Ollie was tiny that you have with Henry now. Try not to beat yourself up about it though honey. It's clear from your posts that you couldn't love him more now and that he loves his mummy too. It won't stop you feeling sad I'm sure but it clearly hasn't done him any harm and you are a great mummy!

In fact we are all great mummies! We are all doing fantastic jobs! Raise a glass of bubbly / bar of choc / cup of tea / whatever your tipple is!

Well we have had a lovely day. I was dreading it as the last one I had on my own with both boys was a bloody nightmare. Today though ev erything worked. Naps / feeds etc all seemed to come at the right time and I also got about 2 hours to myself when both boys were asleep. Sam was a little angel and Adam was really happy and chilled. I love my boys! Sure I will have another shocker soon but for now I'm a very happy mummy of 2!!!

Hey everyone, humf, ordered my hugabub on fri and thought it would arrive today but it hasn't! I emailed the seller and she hasn't replied yet either ... ds has his 6 week check at 9.30am tomorrow morning, i know what'll happen, i'll come back to see the've tried to deliver it whilst i was out... rant over with.
alice - glad you had a good day, so great when everything goes to plan isn't it .
polar - glad lo's sleeping is going well, wow laughing? how old is lo? can't wait till ds laughs, just had wonderful smiles so far.
Choc- glad the sleeping is going well with your lo too, even if you did sit up worrying, least it's a positive sign of things to come - hopefully .
inzi - lol at your plant names!
muppet - glad you're enjoying being a mummy so much!
Anyway hope everyone else is doing ok, sorry if i've missed anyone, gotta go ds crying for a feed!

Hi Inzi I'm here!

If its got much heavier esp if bright red and with clots I would call your mw or gp if she's discharged you. I wa slike this - seemed to settle completly then had a couple of larger bleeds. Mw put me on antibiotics as it can be the sign of an infection and untreated can lead to a bigger bleed again.

Havign said all that might be nothing but better to be careful...

Hi dal too! And everyone else who is hiding away

Hi all

Had friends round for cofee today which was lovely as Henry slept through it. Going to clinic to get him weighed in a mo then christmas tree decoration shopping with Oliver and Henry -wiss me luck!

afternoon everyone.

Not sure if I have locked ducts or mastitis, but my right breast is VERY sore and hot. Also I can't seem to get warm, I am sat here with a blanket wrapped round me.

I am feeding her from that side, but can't hold her over my right should to get her wind up as it is too painful.

I feel so lehargic. Got to out in about 30 mins to get DD1, but I just have not got the energy.

Am going to take a couple of paracetemol. san anyone suggest anthing else.

blocked

Thanks inzi,

I will give that a try. Have now taken 2 paracetemol. I have some Annadin ibuprofen double strength in, am I allowed to take one of them.

Just called a friend and asked her to get DD1 for me.

winnie- have a bath and try warm flannels over your boobs, that helps me when they're a little sore. sounds like mastitis though with he 'flu like symptoms'....

well, didn't go decoration shopping, heard that toys r us had re stocked nintendo ds lite things from a mummy at nursery so went there as we ware wanting to get dh's dad one for christmas - with the brain trainning game. yes they have them but in pink so fil still not getting one as everyone has sold out. any ideas as to what to get a 67 yr old man who has no hobbies and sits at his computer when he's at home?

weighed henry at clinic and he now weighs 12lb 14ozs so he's put on 12 ozs in a week!! that's why he's been feeding so much then! he's still on his curve for growth so all is okay.

oliver is asleep on the sofa as we speak after being carried in from the car. he's sooooo tired after nursery atm he really needs a holiday! still he breaks up on fri for chistmas so not long now.
x
post has no capitals due to typing whilst feeding!

Thanks MG, will give that a try.

Hi all.

Am jealous of everybody having new swings/hugabubs. We can't get anything like that as dd may have an increased risk of spinal injury - she gets a scan at 6 months to see - so we're not allowed anything that bounces or doesn't support her head. We have treated her to a nice chair though that reclines flat and has extra head support - and she loves to nap in that.

Polar/Inzi - am also planning what would be easier next time round when I know what to do better! Not mentioning that to dh though - nothing would make him get the snip faster!

Muppetgirl - wow, 12oz - very impressive!

Was dh's birthday yesterday and we all went out for a family lunch. I had my first glass of wine in 11 months - heaven!

Winnie sorry to hear you are feeling so rotten, you should maybe try and see your HV or GP because if it is mastitis they might be able to give you an AB and stop it getting any worse. Hope you are feeling better soon.

Inzi as alice said I would call someone as it can be a sign of infection, I also got put on an AB about a week after having Zoe and one of my symptoms was increased loss, do you have any other symptoms?

Dal Zoe is 10 weeks and I know it sounds really young to be laughing but that is the only way I can describe it. Its so cute and makes me laugh (even in the middle of the night) Hope your hugabub arrived, how did the check up go?

Muppet what about looking on ebay for a ds lite, I just had a quick look and there seem to be a few new ones for sale. Can't believe that everywhere is sold out again, its the same with the nintendo wii (I would love one of those )

Hello to everyone else, hope you are all doing well and that everyone got some sleep last night.