October 2007 - the golden piglets have landed

[Mumpbump]

I couldn't find a postnatal thread - not sure if I am just missing it with post-childbirth brain! Anyone else around??

OK so having some probs with the 'h' on my computer - keeps not typing! So sorry for the Coc Choc!!! Among other typos...

Would third Choc and Alice on the nipple shields - I had a bloody awful time of it trying to establish bf last time with ds - and I fed him until he was 8 months old!

Would also suggest that when your lo is latched on, if it feels a bit scratchy, thenpush your nipple just by lo's bottom lip - you can often get the bottom lip to curl a bit more that way - and it gets more of your nip into the baby's mouth.

Mairwen is doing well on the Gaviscon thank alice - some much so, that when we ran out today , it rapidly became hell again whilst waiting for our doctor's appointment ... he's put it on repeat for her - and given me a scrip for 12 boxes!! - mind you, we get through a box in 4 days, so they're needed!

C is in a hospice - they're still not feeding him, and were keeping him sedated the last I heard. I know it sounds awful, but I just want it over now ... I am such a horrible person thinking that

Apricott - lovely to see you - my ds goes to a Welsh-medium school too!

Going to try (again) to get a relatively early night - was trying to list some stuff on ebay (it's 10p listing day), but my version of turbo lister crashed ... grrrrr... have given up, and stuck it all on MN for sale board now.

Nos da pawb zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz (hope we all get loads of those!!)

Hey everyone, quick middle of the night post, thins ds is constipated, think he's getting a bit of pin from it, anyone else had this with SMA? any advice to get him to poo?

Hi all

Rebecca has been a little minx for hours!!! She barely sleeps (she gets about 8 hours a day - that can't be normal in a 2 week old, can it?) and I am becoming zombified. Anyway grumble over - Sky engineer is coming shortly to install Sky plus - and Alice is coming later. And then it's the weekend so there will be DH too to cradle the minx when she doesn't want to sleep/be put down/anything. My parents reckon I didnt sleep more than 3 hours in one go until I was six, which is worrying if my daughter takes after me...

Dal, Stefka, Katsch, good luck to you all! My breasts are hurting today - the left nipple is sore because a tired DD chomped a bit on it in the night and for some reason I'm getting occasional sharp pains in the right breast (nipple fine though).

Ejt, you're not bad - it's natural to feel like that - he has no quality of life at the moment...

Dal, no experience of constipation I'm afraid! Well I have personally (pregnancy was a nightmare!) but not in los... how is the expressing going?

Alice, see you later on! House is a tip I'm afraid... insomniac daughter plus C-section plus lazy mummy makes a tip of a house all told!

Everyone else, take care.

Hey all - how's everyone doing. I will give the nipple shields another go I think. I didn't have much luck the first time.

I am not doing so well today. Had a bad night with DH snoring away. I ended up on the sofa bed but I feel that he should have moved there as I had to move Dareh with me in the middle of the night.

Last couple of feeds were really bad and I feel so down right now. I just got an email from another person who was in my antenatal class saying that after a couple of days she's cracked breast feeding and is ready to get out and be sociable. I still can hardly get out of the house and couldn't feed anywhere else because it is so hard. It feels really unfair.

I am worried about getting depressed. I have had depression before and at the moment I feel really anxious all the time. So much so that I can't sleep despite being exhausted. I hate how chaotic my life feels and I hate dreading the feeds. I feel like I am missing out on enjoying my son because of the feeding. Sorry for moaning so much - I am really tired today.

stefka - i think your dh should have moved to the sofa too, how inconsiderate , you've got enough to cope with at the moment! I can relate to your feeling anxious, i felt like that too before i gave up bf, i'm sure as things improve you'll feel better but if not make sure you speak to the doctor thats what they're for! Expressing not going too well, my milk has almost gone, managed to get 1 drop out of each boob last night and one nip is cracked so bled a bit after oh well will keep trying. hope everyone had an ok night

Hi everyone

sorry haven't posted for so long things have been so mad adjusting to life with my little Edith.

Feel so much for you Stefka as this is exactly how I was feeling a week and a half ago. Edith was not gaining any weight although I was breastfeeding her all day and all night for 45 - 60 mins with at least 2 hourly feeds. I had various people come and look at the latch (which all felt was fine) and got advice from BF counsellor, midwives, friends and NCT but all to no avail. Edith was sepnding all of her waking time crying or trying to feed and she was hardly sleeping. I was in bits like you said felt so anxious and sick inside I couldn't eat or sleep properly even when I had the chance. To make matters worse she wouldn't sleep anywhere except lying on us!!!

In the end I had to admit defeat and have switched to formula. She is now sleeping much better and in her moses basket and in the last week put on 14 ounces . I really wanted to breastfeed and am sad this didn't work out but feel this was the right decision for us as I could not carry on as we were and she needed to put on weight as she had lost a lot of her birth weight initialy. Really admire you Sefka for sticking with it through the pain and hope you can get some RL support. I knew BF could be difficult but had no idea how it would make me feel when I could not feed my baby. Sounds like you need to have a good talk to your DH about how you are feeling.

Dal I think my little one often gets uncomfortable before she does a poo but we are using Aptamil not SMA am having to make sure she is well winded but seems to come and go sometimes she is fine sometimes not!

That must have been awful for you Kitti. The one thing I am not having to deal with is the weight issue. Dareh is putting it on no problem. He seems totally oblivious to the problems except when it takes me ages to get him on because of the fear and he gets upset poor soul.

thanks for the advice kitti, a few people have advised aptamil, might get some and try it. Stefka, really hope it gets better for you soon, keep your chin up

Choc - ds1 never even slept 8 hours a day when he was born. He might have slept 4 hours max and still needs less sleep than a lot of other toddlers his age...

Stefka - how old is your lo now? When I had ds1, I was definitely in shock for quite a while after. Chances are it is just taking a while for you to adjust to having a baby in your life rather than depression so don't worry about that! I am so glad ds1 is at home in some ways as newborn babies are very demanding and give very little feedback so I think looking after one is bluddi boring!

Ds1 asleep and ds2 just gone to sleep in the sling so am about to have a cup of tea and relax in front of the tv for a bit...

Dal -my 1st ds was fed on sma and he was really windy. Someone told me a little while ago that sma can make babies windy so maybe that can transfer into constipation?

Stefka - try not to worry (Easier said than done I know) a new baby is one of the most catastrophic thing that can happen to you. Try not to worry about the house or if you are worried, try to keep one room tidy so you feel you can bring people in and also sit in a tidy room yourself. Don't aim for the whole house as if you can't manage this you will feel down. Is there anyone who can help you at the mo? Even just putting the hoover round makes a room feel tidier...

To get me out the house this time I started taking the dogs for a walk for 10 mins, then I started to pop round to neighbours houses for coffee adn next week (H will be 4 weeks) I really want to go to the 'Breastmates' group that is run at a local centre. I'm not sure I'll make it (I still have some of the old anxieties) but it's good to have a plan x

Was on my own last night and managed to bath both boys, read stories and put them both to bed. I have decided to try to intorduce the same routine that Ollie has with Henry as he is begining to not like to sleep away from me at all and I feel this could become a problem. He winged a bit in his carrycot and then developed a full blown howl (he doesn't cry, more shouts when he wants to be pickde up!) SO I got a few jobs done whilst he was winging and we mamged a bout 25mins before I picked him up.

Going to do the same tonight...

He's alseep on the sofa at the mo so I have been able to do a bit of ironing -it's taken me 2 days to do about 5 shirts and acouple of shirts for Ollie!!!

We have Ollie's schools' christmas fair tomorrow and then on sunday we should be going to Bristol Zoo as Ollie is desperate to go and we had to cancel last week due to his horrendous behaviour. My best friend is also down tomorrow so it'll be great to see her.

Henry has now discovered I'm not there....
x

hey everyone, think i'm going to try ds on aptamil and see if it suits him any better. Even gettind disheartened about the expresing now cause if my cracked nipple, it's not cracked on the end it's kind of where the nipple meets the surrounding bit so when i try and express the crack gets stretched open might have to just express from one side and see if i can get that side to produce some milk, hope i can get more than the 1 measly drop i got yesterday , feel a bit like i'm fighting a loosing battle as if i leave the cracked one to heal it will be harder to get it to produce milk... sorry for the me me me post, just having a moan. Hope everyone else is ok, stefka, try not to feel to down, i know it's easier said than done but i'm sure everyone has felt exactly the same at some point after giving birth, i certainly did, starting to feel a bit better now but was convinced i was getting pnd for a while, you're having a harder time than most people so it's bound to take you longer to adjust, get your dh to hellp you more, you need all the support you can get! he might work but a baby is a full time jib - 24hrs a day so you need to share the responsibility as much as you can, sure he does help but as you're having such a hard time maybe ask him to help a bit more to boost you and get you feeling more like yourself again . Catch ya all later

No time to read how everyone's doing as LO about to have a melt down!!

Can't believe he's one month already... Feeding well and we're all fine.

Must dash - thought I had a spare 15 mins!!

Jo
x

Glad things are going well MrsJoJo!

Hang in there Dalrymps. Have you had someone show you how to express by hand? I couldn't do it at all then the HV went over it with me. I don't get billions but it is much better than before. Before I was just getting drops - now I squirt. That sentence sounds bizarre! My last feed was pain free - it's just so odd.

My DH really doesn't get it. He does help when he is here but I think he doesn't realise what I am dealing with during the day. He feels he is entitled to time off when he is at home because he is working all day and studying. But I get no time off at all! The other day he had a morning off. I was up at six and at eight I asked him to get up to take the baby and he refused because he wanted a long lie. His argument was that when else was he going to get a rest. Ummm - I haven't had a rest since I gave birth! Men!

Hi Stefka,
I have a similar problem with dh. I feel he doesn't always understand how hard this is. The other day he said: "Well, at least you don't have to work". This says it all. I told him I am occasionally checking my work email because I actually find it relaxing....!

He also constantly moans he is tired because of his job and the lack of sleep at night. BUT he sleeps a lot more than me because he only gets up for the occasional nappy change, but otherwise manages to sleep through every time I am up breastfeeding (and he too snores, making it even harder for me to get some sleep).

I am sometimes feeling quite overwhelmed by the whole thing, and there are days when I feel really anxious - thinking there is no way I will be able to cope all day at home by myself once my mum leaves in 2 weeks' time...

Then I tell myself this is just a phase, and it will get better as I get used to this new phase in my life and as the LO starts getting into some kind of routine. Those of you who have more than one - you have all my admiration!

Well I met up with Choc and her gorgeous dd today. She is lying about her house being a tip - you should see mine when its not just after the cleaner has been! You looked great and your daughter is gorgeous. And she's not lying about the sleep either! I think Rebecca slept a total of about 20 mins in about 4 chunks during the 3 hours I was there. Very contented little girl though...

Big hugs to all of you who are struggling.

Ejt I would second Choc that its not bad to wish C was gone - its just terribly deistressing to watch someone you love fade away like this and he has no quality of life anymore. Thinking of you x

Glad mairwen is better on the Gaviscon though!

Anyway Adam ad is jabs today and he howled like a banshee and cried real tears. Bless him. He is now sleeping in the pram and I am just off to get Sam from nursery - maybe catch you all later xxx

also, stefka, if it makes you feel better I am also still finding it hard to get out of the house. I feel miserable when I see lots of other mums from NCT groups, etc, managing to do all sorts of things already.

Then again, I try to tell myself everyone's different. I have a baby with lots of colic and I also have complex breastfeeding problems (flow is too fast which means LO screams during feeding and milk sprays all over the place - so very hard to do this in public while having a calm chat over tea and biscuits with other mums!). Over time things will improve - at least I hope!!

Stefka - I kow what you mean! My dh is usually fantastic but he has never had both boys on his own for longer than 2 hrs so he really doesn't get to experience what it's like. I start a job and never finish it as one of the boys needs something then the dogs want to go out, then come in, need water/a walk. It just seems everyone wants a piece of me at the mo! Dh will take a day off to 'help' as he can work from home and the first thing he does is book a tennis lesson.
He's started to sleep in late as he's 'up doing the late feed' (10pm) he sleeps in the spare room and gets at least 6-8 hrs sleep per night whilst I wake at least 2-3 times to feed Henry. He then sleeps late and leaves late for work which means he then stays later leaving me on my own till 7.30-8pm ish. He is helping a little with the cleaning/hoovering but that's mot regularly and he really thinks he's a hero when he's done those jobs. Shame he can't muster up the same enthusiasm for the piles of dog poo in the garden

Love my dh to bits but men really don't know what it's like....
x

Knackered, knackered, knackered.

BUT at least am feeling so much better in myslef than I did when I had OLiver so are coping much more.

Dal - I started Ben on Aptamil, but he just would not settle between feeds at all, always grunting and groaning and struggling, I then switched him to Cow and Gate Comfort on a recommendation from my sil and he is now much much better, settles very quickly. It is thicker than aptamil so you would need to get the next sized teat earlier than normal. Also I switched him totally from one formula to the next, luckily he was ok, but my midwife said that they usually say to do it gradually over a few days because it can make them sicky if you do a drastic change.

gemma its normal to feel totally overwhelmed. I still do even when I have just Adam while Sam is in nursery. Its called being a mum. I'm sure you are doing great.

Muppet - give me tips please on bath and bedding 2 boys!!!!

Kitti - sorry to hear bf was difficult for you. Sounds like ff is the right decision for you so well done for making that difficult choice. I too am ff as I found bf just too difficult while trying to look after a toddler too. Might not be what either of us would have chosen in an ideal world but happy mum makes a happy baby. Not that by saying this I am saying those struggling to bf are doing the wrong thing - its a personal decision for everyone and different things are important to different people and will cause you to make different choices...

Ladies one and all you are doing GREAT. We are all doing different things with our babies yet everyone has made choices that are right for them. Some struggling more than others but out los are very lucky to have such caring mummys!

MrsFish how does the cow and gate comfort differ from normal green cow and gate? Thats what Adam is on at the mo. He seems OK but if the comfort one is better bring it on!

Inzi posted on your other thread honey

Hear, Hear Alice!!

Am having a Chinese takeaway and a couple of glasses of wine tonight ...

Just a quick tip for the vaccinations coming up: give your lo a dose of Calpol before you go and have them ... and, if you can, give lo a feed while they're being bodged - it won't stop them screaming, but it may distract them enough that they don't scream so much!

Oh, and for all those out there who spray milk everywhere (I am one, and was last time too!), put a muslin over your arm so that you can clamp it over your boob to catch the sprays when lo bobs off and complains about being drowned!

Right, am banning myself from mn in the evenings ... so, may or may not see you over the weekend - have a good one, all!

Hello everyone, haven't had time to read through all the posts yet and as LO is starting to stir I thought I better skip on.

Dal & Stefka just wondering what position you are holding your LO in when BF? In hospital I couldn't get LO latched on at all and the BF counsellor showed me the rugby ball hold and I found this really worked for me. I found it was much easier to see what was going on and because of the position of her head she opened her mouth wider. Just thought it was worth mentioning, I think you guys are great for keeping trying despite the problems you are having. Expressing has really worked for me, I start Zoe off with a breast feed of about 10 mins and then give her a bottle of EBM. It works for me, I feel I am getting the best of both worlds so just wanted to let you know that it is possible to do both as I know some MW / HV's tell you the baby won't do both.

As for DH's not getting up during the night, I honestly believe that they just don't hear their children, I used to think it was just selective hearing but now I don't think it is. If I want DH to get up I now just elbow him and ask him if he would like to get up and cuddle his daughter seems to work so far

Cant remember who it was who said that their LO kept spitting out their bottle but was chewing on their hand and acting hungry, it could be wind as Zoe does this and a MW said this is what it could be.

Does anyone else find that everything to do with babies is just guess work and a sharing of this worked for me so give it a try? And just when you think you have it sussed they go and move the goal posts!

Definately second ejt on calpol before the jabs.

And def with polar on the lo's constantly moving the ruddy goal posts just when you think its sussed!!!