TTC First Baby Catch-up With Our Babies Continued!!

[ELW85]

Hi all

As I’m rubbish and keep double posting I thought I’d start a new thread as we’re nearly at 1k.
I don’t have all of the OG’s so apologies for anyone I miss or anyone I miss in general (blaming lack of coffee this morning!!)

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl @Fivebyfive2 @MrsEG @purplefig @LarryDavid @Lemonysherbet @Stormtrooperjulian @MrsH497 @LokiCat @Cupcakesandglitter

@Fivebyfive2 oh bloody hell, what a pain!! Still, it sounds like you've got a solid plan. What sleep approach are you thinking of trying? Oh mate, what I wouldn't give to meet-up over a cup of tea / pint and chat shit about the patriarchy 😂👌🏼

@MrsR16 oh wow - so strong Ethan!! 💪🏼

@MrsEG oh bless them, it's so hard when they're not feeling right! I always feel a bit useless but hopefully they'll be back to normal soon ❤️. How did the kit days go? And your run? I agree with you, the new rules just seem illogical.

@ELW85 how're you and Finn doing my lovely? 💕

So after watching the vid MrsEG, AKA our resident sleep wizard, suggested I decided that get early morning starts could be because of any number of variables so it's time to experiment. The insta lady reckons overtiredness is often the cause so we started there and for the last two days have left her to nap as long as she likes. First day 4 hrs, yesterday 3.5 hrs, over two naps. Both nights she's done 6.30/7pm - 6am 🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻 over the moon!!

Hope everyone is having a decent week? X

@purplefig, at the moment I'm just trying to get him to fall asleep anyway other than right on the boob! So last night I took him upstairs and fed him, then let him sprawl on my lap and just cuddled him if he got upset /tried to get to my boob again! He fell asleep in my lap and then I moved him over to the pod. In the night I did the same; at one point he woke up when put down and managed to just stroke his face and he went off without being picked up. I'm hoping after a few days I can put him the big cot after a feed and then later on, move his feed to before we get his pj's on and he can go straight in the got. God knows if it will work to be honest!

This morning we were under attack! I took Joe up for his morning nap, he had a feed and went to sleep on my lap... Was about to move him to the pod and I swear to Christ, right in the snuzpod was one of the biggest fuck off spiders I have ever seen!! I literally yelled out, got Joe on my shoulder (he was not happy at being woken up!) and yelled for dh to come upstairs! It was too big for the hoover 😮 Had to get it in a sodding bowl and chuck it out the window!! By this time Joe was so upset and tired I ended up letting him feed again and he went to sleep... Dh checked very thoroughly for more spiders before I put him down!!

I really must try harder to post back in here! Caught up with the last few posts :)

@MrsEG - wow can’t believe both the boys are crawling! Mine aren’t even sitting up yet, and I’m not worried but I find it frustrating people keep telling me they should by now!

@purplefig - That’s amazing! Sleep is so wonderful and pleased she is sleeping well the last few days, are you?!

@Fivebyfive2 - arrrrrrgh huge spider! I would of screamed 😂😂 glad it’s gone now however and no more spiders! Hope Joe settled back down after the spider saga!

Morning all

Sorry for the continued break; it’s helping me a bit but hopefully back to normal once I get Finn sorted out.
Yesterday was hellish.
Went to the hospital for a follow up to his shudders and they said they were only expecting a call as they’d booked him in to an eczema clinic and nobody was following his neurological stuff up.
Called the GP to chase the physio referral; they got me to ring the hospital...who said the GP had made the referral to an adult service so they bounced it back and as such Finn has been lost in the cracks.
I got home and cried my eyes out. I just feel everyone is letting him down.
So I’ve paid for a private physio assessment on Friday.
I just want him to be ok. He’s still using his left more than his right but he is reaching for things with both hands, which is giving me a bit of hope.
Oh and he rolled yesterday!! 5.5 months and belly to back but he rolled 😊 so I’m trying to take the positives in that too.

I’m really sorry I’m being selfish and not keeping up.

@Fivebyfive2 - sorry to hear about your brother, I hope you’re all ok.

@purplefig @MrsEG - found a place by the coast that needs a new kitchen but we’re excited for it!

I hope you’re all doing brilliantly as well as your beautiful babies. Xx

@ELW85, oh mate what a crapper of a time of it you're all having. If I could, I'd come cover with a massive chocolate cake and repeats of don't tell the bride! Great news about Finn rolling and reaching though and don't blame you for organising his appointment for Friday. You need answers so you know where the goalposts are and are doing an amazing job chasing up. I'm really chuffed you've found a house too! Xxx

Well! Day 2 of full isolation and ANOTHER sodding spider appeared this morning, this time from under the sofa while we had breakfast! I almost died. Joe found it hilarious, which is a tad worrying 😕😂

@Fivebyfive2 - can we have you come round and do that anyway? Sounds awesome!!
I’ve had that with a spider and the Snuzpod before. When Finn was really little after a 3am feed, I put him down and tucked him in with his Peter Rabbit blanket...only for a huge spider to crawl out from under it, diagonally across it, towards his head and missing his face by about 2cm. I couldn’t scream etc I just went into full on protective mode and grabbed the spider and got rid of it. Never before, never again!!

So, the physio called me today and got a slot sorted for 5pm this evening after reviewing some videos of him.
I begged her if there was a slight hint of anything to be brutally honest with me.
She thinks from a clinical perspective he doesn’t have a hand preference and she thinks he’s ahead in a lot of his milestones.
No sign of increased muscle tone or abnormal reflexes that would go with cerebral palsy.
She thinks he’s a wonderful healthy baby and she doesn’t need to see him again or refer him for an MRI as it’s not necessary.
She said if it was CP he wouldn’t have good days where he could do loads, so he’s just learning.
The fact she doesn’t even want to see him again means the world!

@ELW85, amazing news! I'm so happy for you guys that you got an appointment sorted and it was so positive 😀How are you feeling about it all now? Xxx

Joe went to bed at 6.45 and was up at 9.15. Then 11.15. Then 1am. And 3. Again at 4.10. Aaaaand awake at 6. Send help. Send chocolate. Send me equipment to soundproof one of our rooms!

@Fivebyfive2 - I do feel better especially as he’s using his right more but I have a feeling I’m still 10% on edge. No idea why. I think because the seed was planted.
I’m sure I’ll forget about it soon. Him rolling and being better with tummy time is helping too. As long as he keeps hitting his milestones!

Oh god! Joe man! Finn’s been a bit like that recently. Should we all just claim developmental 😂?

Hi ladies,
I’ve fallen a bit behind on here!

@Fivebyfive2 Ah what a pain have you been able to get tested or are you just isolating? Hope it’s going well! I’m petrified of spiders, it’s my massive irrational fear - I’d have probably called 999 (and I’m only half joking!!)

@purplefig oh I’m so so glad that sleep page helped! I love her page, she does a Q&A every Monday and I’m forever on it and she gives fab advice! The KIT days went fine - 2.5 days total and I’ve spent most of the money on mine and the twins Halloween outfits 🙈 priorities?! How is M doing this week?

@PippaPug Oh gosh don’t worry in the least - enjoy it! It’s a whole new world of pain when you have two babies on the move haha! It’s so frustrating when people make comments isn’t it. The boys aren’t even 8 months old yet and I’m starting to get ‘aren’t they saying mama or dada yet?’ Bugger off!! So lovely to hear from you! How are the boys doing?

@ELW85 I am over the moon to read these updates! So so so so pleased for you all. Finn is so lucky having you as mum!

So we had an awful experience at lunch today, Ruairí started to choke on a rice cake 😫 My sister was with me thank god as I started to panic as I had Conor in my arms. She just sprung in to action, whipped him over slapped his back and it popped right out. He was absolutely fine but I feel so knocked by it! It’s always been my worst nightmare. He’s eaten rice cakes before fine!

Other than that we are going great. I don’t know what’s gone in to their ready brek this week but they’re flying, crawling, pushing themselves up to sit, Ruairí has even started pulling himself up. God help me!!!!

@MrsEG - thank you so much. It’s been a really difficult time but fingers crossed we’re getting out of the other end. I say that because he’s making these really weird voluntary movements kind of side to side and I’m sure it’s nothing but he’s doing them when sitting up and toppling himself over.
It’s probably all just exploring how he controls his body I guess.
He’s doing so well in that he’s holding a soppy cup and his bottle and rolls over in both directions (a massive tick in the box for there not being a preference) and can sit up for about 3-5 mins unwinded.
I feel like I’m starting to enjoy it and look forward to his milestones rather than dread what’s going to happen next.

I’m so sorry you went through that with Ruairi; it must have been terrifying but I’m so pleased he’s ok.
Those boys are thriving because of you, you should be so proud!

Oh and this is our new forever home!
The photos don’t do it justice (the rooms are way bigger than they look) but it needs a new kitchen so we’re knocking the kitchen and dining room into one to have an open plan kitchen and living area with log burner. I have a vision 😂
We’ll use the conservatory as a dining room with some nice lighting.
The best but is, it’s 10 mins walk to the sea front and the nurseries and schools are fantastic.
You’re all welcome to visit once I’ve decorated 😂

Swinbourne Gardens, Whitley Bay
www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-95599307.html

@ELW85 Can I ask - is there any reason why the left handed preference is such a worry? Mainly because both boys have it. They suck their left thumbs, pick up their food with their left hands. I’ve never thought anything of it but have never mentioned it to anyone really either. I just noticed it the last few days, after you’ve been discussing it etc.
Rolling both ways! Go Finn. And sitting so well as well - the boys are only managing a really good stretch sitting now. I honestly think they just prefer being on the move! Finn sounds like he is doing so well!
It was very scary. They’re in bed and I feel like I’m just processing what happened and feel a little bit upset but I’m shaking it off as it happened, we reacted and he’s absolutely fine - why dwell! But I am currently having a big glass of wine!
That house is beautiful. Near a beach! In Manchester that’s something I can only dream of haha! Do you have a big/small chain?

@MrsEG - honestly the left handed thing would never have occurred to me until the neurologist mentioned it. Don’t worry, it’s not a left hand = bad thing.
Basically she said to me that no baby should have a hand preference until 18 months as it’s a red flag for things.
So, by a hand preference they mean not reaching for objects with both hands if placed in their centre, exclusively using one side and reaching across their body to use the preferred hand, whilst keeping the other fisted.
However, babies go through phases of hand preference according to the physio. So in a year they’ll use them equally but go back and forth between them.
I got advised to really stimulate his right hand so it didn’t get left behind, so I’ve been putting every toy in his right hand etc.
I always just thought “oh Finn’s a leftie” so when the neurologist watched the shudder videos and brought something else up entirely, I was beside myself.
I asked her if Finn needed scans etc and she said to keep challenging his right and see how it responds and to get a physio assessment.
What I’ve also realised is that because I’m right handed if I’m feeding Finn, I restrict his right side as it’s closest to me so he’s gotten used to staring at his left.
Now I make sure I hold his left side in to me and he’s a lot more active with his right.
I think that’s good as if it was something sinister, it wouldn’t be resolved or improved with just that alone.
So please don’t worry about the boys, you’d notice if they weren’t using their other sides and the important thing is, they’re smashing their milestones.
Again, it’s a red flag if it was a hand preference and they were behind, which they certainly are not!!

I was going to ask if you had a glass of wine to chill out with after that. It’s awful but you both handled it so well.
How’s your sister getting on with her pregnancy? All well I hope!!

Thank you, I can’t wait to get moved in! Fairly short chain so we’re hoping to be in late next month or early November 😊
And we’re definitely lucky to be in decent proximity to the coast. We’ll need the distraction when we can’t see our families again!
The nurse at the eczema clinic said to me “have you had COVID yet then?” Er...nope and I’m really hoping to pass go and go straight to a vaccine, thanks!

@MrsEG- also, I’ve been canvassing other mum opinions and there’s definitely a theme of boys having a left hand preference and being fine!
My friend has a 22 year old and from 12 weeks he would only really use his left hand on the playmat etc. He’s absolutely fine and healthy...and left handed; nobody thought anything of it.

@ELW85, love the house!! Do you think there's any chance you'll be in for Christmas? Xx

@MrsEG, omg that's literally my worst nightmare! I'm so glad everyone is OK. I think you have the right attitude, it happened, everyone is alright and that's what matters. I hope you enjoyed the wine, definitely well deserved after that! Xx

Another day of isolating, more jobs crossed off our list 😀 My friend has dropped off half of Morrisons bakery to keep us going 🍰😋🥐 Joe had his first dip in the big bath and loved it!

Hope everyone is doing OK? Xx

@Fivebyfive2 - ah thank you! I think we will be actually 😊 I’d love it all done ASAP so we can just get cracking! Found a nursery there for Finn for January!
Ah I’m so pleased Joe enjoyed the bath! We’re still in Finn’s little supported one.
He’s been rolling in both directions again today so I’ve been very proud and happy!

@Fivebyfive2 that sounds like a really logical approach to improving sleep. I was chatting to a mum friend this week (her 6mo was up 9 times the other night 🥴) and we were saying how different babies need different approaches. Ummm the spiders can F off!!! Pastries can stay 😏

@ELW85 it sounds like Finn is doing really well! And what a resoundingly positive message from the physio! Are you feeling a bit more reassured? Your new house looks absolutely lovely and how fab to live that close to the sea. We made the move to the coast 3 years ago and honestly not a day goes by I'm not grateful for it. There is something about the sea that is just so calming and grounding, to me at least. Sure I'll be in for a world of trouble once M discovers sand, however! I hope you get in soon 💕

@MrsEG oh my lovely, that sounds utterly horrifying. Are you feeling ok now? I honestly think that's the worst bit of motherhood for me...the thought of them not being here. Gahhhh. I just repress repress repress 😳. It sounds like they're both doing so well though! I bet you're not able to sit still?! 🤣. Thanks for telling me about the Monday q&a, I'll check it out. What're you and the boys going for as Halloween??

I've had a really lovely week! Now m is sleeping through somewhat reliably (I am touching so much wood 😂) I'm no longer the walking dead in game morning. So DH has her and I've been taking the dog out for an hour on the beach and it's just made a world of difference to my mental health.

Speaking of which - are a few of you off hormonal contraception too? Woweeeee I notice such mood/energy patterns now. It's so cool (if not sometimes inconvenient 😬).

Any nice plans for the weekend? X

@purplefig, omg 9 times?! Bless her, it's hard enough when it's 3 to 5 times 🙁 I'm fb friends with a girl who was my next door neighbour when we were kids and our parents are still in the same houses and talk all the time. Anyway, her little lad is 4 months and woke 11 times the other night!! I almost feel bad for moaning about my sleep problems now... Almost! I'm loving the thought of walks by the sea 😀 I've been off the pill since ttc. I was supposed to have an appointment with someone to talk about contraception options around March time, but obviously it hasn't happened! I can't say I've noticed much, but that may be because I'm still not having periods?? Oh man, when they return it'll probably hit like a ton of bricks, dh may want to book himself into a hotel 😂

Well ladies, last night was awful and had me in tears 🙁 Joe has been doing okish at feeding and then going off in the snuzpod (mostly) and even sometimes doing it in the night. So we tried it in the cot last night. What an effing shiteshow that was!! Fed, put him down sleepy, sat with him... 30 mins later, still awake and started getting upset. Tried stroking, patting etc, got more upset. Tried leaving the room (incase I was making him worse) and he was hysterical so I went in and picked him up. He basically fell asleep straight away. Awake and crying as soon as I put him down. Repeat 3 times. Dh tries, same thing. I try once more, same thing. So off to our room I go, give him a cuddle, pop him in snuzpod... He stirs, moans, straight off to sleep?! He then woke every 2 hours and was still wide awake at 5.45. Just the thought of having to re settle him over and again in his room when he's waking so frequently makes me feel exhausted.

I'm so tired and feeling like such a failure. I must be doing something wrong?! He's too big for the pod now really, but we can't Co sleep as our bed is too small for 3 and we don't have a spare bed. The big cot won't go in our room, there's no space. I was so down and desperate last night I started looking at frankly batshite ideas online, like Joe having some kind of bed on the floor so I can feed or cuddle him and just slide him off or put him down and lie next to him while he goes off. I know he needs to be in the cot, but I'm so overwhelmed by it... He won't go off with me there, he gets too worked up with me not there and I'm so useless I can't even lower him into it without waking him up and upsetting him 🙁 Sorry I know I'm being really dramatic and ott but it's really getting to me now!! It may be the isolation as well, making it seem worse?!

Right, I'll stop my pity party now! What's everyone's weekend plans? Do we think there's a 2nd lockdown coming? And @MrsEG, what are you all going as for Halloween?! Pictures please 😀

Finally, a spoon that is big enough 🥄😂

@Fivebyfive2 oh mate, that sounds so hard. I would say: stop beating yourself up. You are not failing at anything. How is a happy, loved boy who is absolutely thriving despite being born into a pandemic! All babies are different and have different needs. Some are happy to go in their own rooms early on, others are not. It's not your fault that he is struggling with that transition. Please please please be kind to yourself. And eat a pastry 😂❤️

Practically speaking - do you want him to transition to his nursery or do you want to find a work around? Neither is right or wrong, it just comes down to what's right for you guys.

If you want to help him get into his own room, you may well need to look at some gentle sleep training. Perhaps contacting a sleep consultant might be wise here, as you can discuss your specific issues and get a more tailored approach. Having a subjective person could be really useful if you're feeling adrift and don't know where to start. I really like the sound of the insta lady MrsEG recommended to me - you could check her out? She said in one vid she's somewhere in the middle of sleep training, but she can give different options on whether you'd like to go a bit gentler.

Alternatively, it's perfectly valid to decide you aren't in a rush for him to be in his own room. In which case you need to think how you can make it work so you all get as much sleep as possible. Could you get rid of his snuzpod then with the extra space swap from a double to a kind bed? The frames come up fairly reasonably on fb marketplace. Or could you dismantle his cot and get a double mattress for the floor in the nursery and you and Joe cosleep there for a while?

Big huge hugs to you. M had a proper meltdown yesterday on her last nap of the day and honestly the sound of it just shattered me. I ended up taking her out in the sling. We've just got to do our best and give ourselves (and them) bucketloads of compassion. X

@purplefig, thank you I am actually eating the pastries now 😂🥐😋

I know I need to go back to being more relaxed about it all; he is happy and healthy and hitting his milestones etc. It is hard though, it's all anyone asks about... Why isn't he sleeping,why isn't he in his room, you should be doing this and that, blah blah blah... Aaaaagh!!

Practically I think if we can crack his room it might help because he'd have more room and wouldn't have us disturbing him. And from a selfish point of view, it would be nice to have our bedroom back again!

My mum has a really big travel cot with a proper mattress that was going to be for when we stopped over etc. Lockdown meant it's hardly been used. She was asking if I wanted her to try altering one of the sides so that it had a zip? So as a stop gap, I could cuddle or feed him with cushions or whatever on the floor and then slide him into the big travel cot, zip it up and go to bed? I could keep trying the self settling as well obviously. I could also take the travel cot to mums or if we go away. Opinions? Is it a mad idea??

@purplefig, meant to add, I'm sorry M had a meltdown, they're awful aren't they?! The noise cuts right through me sometimes, makes me want to cry! Hope she's OK today. I still picture her as a baby Judy Dench in James Bond 😂

@Fivebyfive2 glad you're doing ok ❤️ the travel cot idea sounds like a great experiment! It's not selfish to want your space back btw - happy mum, happy baby and all that! But as for nosy people giving unsolicited opinions, try and ignore them. SO hard though, I really do know. Hahaha my little baby Judi Dench 😂❤️ she did 11 hrs last night, but just had another screaming fit at nap time - spotted her bottom tooth has broke the surface, so could be that. Currently holding her while she naps in the dark nursery with white noise on 😆 it's quite sweet actually as I rarely do this now. (I won't be saying that if this lil nap refusal trend continues!!!) x

@purplefig, aaahh poor M, those teeth really are a pain aren't they?! Try and enjoy the cuddle time, although I know it can be restricting. Does M cuddle in to go to sleep? Joe's favourite way of sleeping in with his head in my lap and the rest of him sort of star fished out?! It looks soooo uncomfortable 😂 And yet we try him in a super roomy, comfy cot and he'll be all 'waaaaghh, what fresh hell is this mother?!'

@ELW85 That’s so good to know, thank you! I’ve been watching them like a hawk haha and they definitely don’t only use their left hands and they’re playing with their toys with both.
How is Finn getting on now? How have you been getting on with his weaning? Is his eczema any better?

@Fivebyfive2 You are not in any way a failure, not one bit. They all take to different things in very different ways! One of my NCT friends still has her 8 month old in their room as they have a disaster every time they try. I’d say, if you do want to make the transition, I agree with purplefig maybe chatting to a sleep consultant for advice could be really useful in pinpointing your exact scenario and what could work. But if you’re happy to stay in your room for now then do so! There’s no hard and fast deadline for these things, it’s only guidelines.

@purplefig So great that M is sleeping so well! Excellent news! I’m off the pill now and I feel wonderful without it. Absolutely amazing. DH is getting a vasectomy haha. As my only downside is this massive fear of an unplanned pregnancy!!
Your morning dog walks sound lovely!
Ahh the damn teeth. I can’t even proffer much advice - the boys have all four front ones now but Conor didn’t bat an eyelid whereas Ruairí screamed like there was no tomorrow! So I think they’re all very different with them!

Thank you for the lovely messages about the choking incident - I was a nervous wreck feeding him the next day but we’re back on track now. Just one of those things, I guess it’s why we really do need eyes in the backs of our heads!
For Halloween, the boys are going to be the Dalmatians to my Cruella. We take Halloween quite seriously in our family! We have a day at a pumpkin patch booked so the plan is to get pics there (if lockdown doesn’t absolutely bugger things up!!)
Anyone else with a sense of impending doom waiting for the lockdown update tomorrow?!