June 2020 Babies - newborn snuggles, recovery, milk and night feeds!

[LillianFullStop]

First post natal thread for June 2020 babies! Looking forward to seeing our birth club thread members here soon!

@APD1981 your babies evening and night time sounds same as mine she goes down 7/8 wakes 12/1 for first feed so I get few hours then she's up anywhere between 1 and 2 hours until 6.30 when she might have a bit longer but by that time I'm getting up for the day x

Wow I’m amazed that some have a proper routine going already! We have a very very loose one... if baby happens to be awake at DD’s bath time we bath him first but don’t bother if he’s asleep, just give him a good wash in the morning if that happens. Then he tends to fall asleep when I’m doing DD’s stories so I suppose he’s in a routine of bath, feed, story and sleep but just not in the “right” location (he’s in my arms and then stays downstairs with us til i go up to bed). It doesn’t bother me to be honest, I’m not brave enough to leave him on his own, and anyway he would wake up within about 10 mins!

Completely respect everyone’s decisions with sleep, you weigh up risks for yourself and do what you feel is right. Same as what we’ve done with bedsharing. MIL thunks we are crazy and does a sharp intake of breath every time I mention it. But I’m happy with our decision and it feels like the most natural and safe thing in the world to me, we are following al the safe sleep guidelines for bedsharing.

The SIDS guidance around being in the same room til 6 months is to do with baby regulating their breathing (they do this by hearing their mothers breath pattern and replicating it). It stops them falling too deeply asleep. But if you’re literally watching their chest rise and fall on a monitor im sure you’d see if they got into any bother.

With my dd we kept her downstairs with us til about 5 months when I felt like I could put her to bed upstairs and watch on the monitor. We used to put the sleepyhead on the playmat and sit and have our dinner etc whilenshe slept. Would do that with this one but he still won’t settle very well on the sleepyhead!

@mrssunshinexxx yes sounds very similar to Freddie. One night last week though he did 7.30-7.30 with a feed at midnight and another at 3.30. It was amazing! I was lying there from 6am waiting for him to wake up! Sadly it's not happened again since.

@magpiefeather when we had Freddie downstairs in the evening I would go up to bed and he'd stay downstairs with DH in his pram carrycot. So with regards to the breathing regulating thing I'm not sure that would be happening for us even when downstairs. He's a really light sleeper so we couldn't do anything whilst downstairs. Hubby had the tv on with bluetooth headphones. I actually feel better he's in bed than downstairs now. Definitely each to their own though x

@gigitree if you did want to try putting her to bed then you could also get a breathing monitor. I've heard good things about the Snuza Hero MD. That way you could both see and hear your baby but also her breathing would be monitored and you'd be alerted to any changes. X

Thank you @Magpiefeather sounds like we’re on a similar wavelength! Relief fo hear I’m not alone with the no routine situation!
That makes sense about them mimicking their mothers breathing!

Thank you @APD1981 willl have a look xx

As @Magpiefeather said the SIDS guidance about same room is to do with them hearing your breathing so it is actually safer to be asleep next to them than to watch on the monitor. No judgement though - we already cosleep some of the time in the early mornings and will doubtless put her up to bed with the monitor soon when she is ready earlier in the evening than she is currently so we won't be following the Lullaby Trust guidelines to the letter either but it is worth knowing their rationale. I believe SIDS is quite rare now?

DD is thriving bless her, shes trying so hard to laugh iys just not quite coming out yet 😂
Shes can have 2/3 naps during the day that range from 30min/2hrs
Start settling her from 6:30 and last bottle is 9/10pm & can sleep till 4/5am..
Ive noticed if she doesn't have at 1 least 1 decent nap during the day she definitely has witching hour 7/8 and is flat tailed by 9 bless her.

I hope everyone's doing ok, always have so much to read and catch up on

@Magpiefeather sounds like you do have a routine going :)
Ahhh mothers in laws need i say more 🙄 we are all doing what we think is best/ feels right. I wish I could co sleep as I think I would get more sleep but for me personally I would be far too terrified of something awful Happening it's all relative isn't it and each mummy has their own ways.
It sounds really blunt and it is without a doubt my worst fear and you can absolutely do things to minimise it not being drunk or smoking feet to foot of crib and no loose blankets etc but I think if SIDS was to happen it's just one of those awful horrific tragic things that there are no answers for. We just have to pray it doesn't happen x

@Zoey92 jealous !!! How old is she ? Is she BF or formula ? Well done baby girl!

@APD1981 ahhh same !! She's done 7 hours stretch twice once last sat and once last Monday no idea what I did different but I was amazed ! How old is Freddie ?

He was 10 weeks on Friday. Every night I go to bed hoping he'll do it again and I'm always disappointed when it doesn't happen! X

@Gigitree aw little dot love her outfit ! 😍
I wouldn’t worry over it love .some babies thrive on routine some won’t entertain the idea& want to be close to mummy . I’m reminding myself to try & enjoy it all. Dd is so independent now it makes me emotional !

On another note Has anyone left baby alone yet ? I finallllly have a hair appointment on Wednesday So will be a few hours , going to express a bottle for dp but still feeling nervous 😬

Yes @Mj2196 a few times. For one hair and one nail appt and when I've popped to the shop or had to drop DD1 somewhere. DH also takes the baby out on his own for walk around the park or to get a coffee. I'm a firm believer that it takes a village to raise a child and it's pretty critical that DH can look after her on his own! Particularly as we are sharing the parental leave year. Obviously it depends on what is happening feeding wise!

@mrssunshinexxx she'll be 8weeks on Wednesday 😊 she's also formula fed, i tried to BF but it was just so painful, i take my hat off to everyone who is!

@mj2196 unfortunately yes, i run a salon on my own so had to go back to work waaay before i intended but im not back full time & also closed an extra day, Partner works shifts too & my mam lives a 2minute walk from the salon. Still so hard though

@Mj2196 left with her dad whilst I went to the supermarket once but no one else no one else holding her still and I'm no where near ready I couldn't even imagine it my anxiety would be through the roof. If my mum was alive then I know I would trust her but there's also no where I want/need to go without her

Is there anyone else that still isn't letting anyone hold or too close due to Covid

@Zoey92 how long has she been doing those sleeps for x

@mrssunshinexxx lol you’re right maybe we do have a routine!

We’ve still not let anyone hold DS. He’s only met one family member! Would love to introduce him to rest of family but they are all very much living life as normal now - all seeing loads of friends, not social distancing in any way. They all live 2.5 hours away so it’s too far for just half an hour in the garden.

Don’t worry about it. You absolutely don’t have to push yourself beyond your comfort levels!

I attached a photo of my huckleberry app so you can see what her sleeping “pattern” is like.
We’re doing similarly to others here. It’s not a strict routine, times vary but since about 3 weeks old (now 6 weeks) we give her a bath every 2-3 days around 7:30pm, then take her to our bed with low lights and white music playing, put her in her pjs and swaddle and then feed. On days we don’t have a bath then I put her on her towel on our bed and give her a sponge bath and then do the same routine. Usually she feeds extra long after that and then falls asleep and I cuddle her upright for 20 minutes so she can digest and then put her down in her crib. If she’s ready to sleep for the night she’ll stay asleep or fall back asleep quickly but some nights she won’t sleep and will need an extra little feed first. She usually gets to sleep between 8 and 9 this way and does a 3.5-5 hour stretch followed by several 2-3 hour stretches until morning. Interesting to see so many others following the same pattern. Must come naturally to them for some reason.
Day time however is a complete shit show. Never know when she’ll want to sleep or for how long. Taking note of wake times and sleepy cues does nothing to help us figure it out so far. Since I started tracking though I have been trying extra hard to get her to nap whenever possible, and letting her nap on me has been the most helpful for that. My husband can get her to sleep in her crib in the day but I can’t usually. Think she smells my milk and won’t settle for me.
We also have a monitor (victure brand from amazon - no WiFi needed as I’ve heard horror stories of them being hacked) but I just carry it around with me while I get ready for bed myself and then I go back and join her. I’d not realised that the being in the room being safer is because of hearing the mothers breathing. I’d think that wouldn’t work for us with the white noise playing loudly anyway. I always pop in and check on her when I’m using the monitor but it’s easier for us as we live in an apartment and our bedroom comes right off the living room/kitchen. When my husband is home usually one of us stays wherever she is but when I’m home alone I have no choice but to leave her briefly.
Everyone just has to do what seems right for them.

Anyone else completely overwhelmed with everything you have to do for them? The constant feeding and nappy changing aside, making sure she naps enough, making sure she gets enough tummy time and play time but doesn’t get over stimulated. I just don’t know how to fit it all in.

So helpful to learn what everyone is doing. My LO is 7 weeks old today.

Daytime - No nap schedule but typically she will have 2 decent naps (typically on DH or myself)

7pm - 9pm - Witching hour, which isn't terrible but she is just fussy and it's impossible to get her to nap/sleep

Night time - Bath at 9pm and then she will finally fall asleep at 11pm. Up at 3am and 5am for feeds although she seems to be skipping the 3am at times this week

I feel like the heat over the past couple of weeks made it really difficult to encourage a routine for my LO, so didn't put any pressure on myself during that time. However now the weather has calmed down I would definitely like to work on bringing that bedtime earlier and getting those daytime naps in the crib and at a similar time.

Il have a go at using the Huckleberry app this week, it looks good.

I'm going to stick with naps on me/DH I think. Every time I try to nap her in the crib we end up with a crap nap of 25 minutes whereas on me we can get over an hour. Huckleberry has just started giving us a sweet spot this weekend. Hasn't worked every time but quite a few times it did.

@Pegase we did a quick nail appointment but dp literally parked across the road just in case .🙈 It’s not him I’m worried about he’s a ⭐️. i blame bf making me an emotional wreck haha. I don’t mind expressing the odd bottle but tbh it’s a pain (&i’m just lazy)

@Zoey92 oh you poor thing. These things have to be done sometimes though especially in these strange times . I went back at 12 weeks with dd & that was bad enough . I’m glad you’ve got your mum to help

@mrssunshinexxx I have debated but decided I need this hair appointment for my sanity 😅. Re family Im estranged from my parents but mil has held him . she’s been shielding for months due to her age though .Completely understandable you feel that way about your mum. I bet it’s very difficult for you& hope you have some good support in place . x

@Mj2196 my son is also exclusively breastfed, but I have had appts without him. All went fine. I just make sure I leave one or 2 expressed bottles for him with DH or mum, whoever was looking after him.
I went to register his birth at less than 2 weeks alone, had a pedicure and dental appts without him as well. I find it quite good for my mental health to have an hour or so break from him, as much as I love him!

The covid thing has caused a lot of anxiety, but my son has now met all immediate family. He is slowly meeting our closest friends now. We have made the decision that we will not let covid rule our lives anymore. Being careful with hand hygiene etc obviously.

Something fun DH and I have been doing is actually going to restaurants once a week with the baby. We actually enjoy it. Having him there is not as restricting as you'd think! We just bring an expressed bottle along, or I breastfeed under a cover if he gets hungry.

Re: sleep routine??? We have none! Haha! He does his own thing, but will generally sleep from midnight to 9am with 2 or 3 feeds in between. That's pretty good going for us!

@magpie21 our routine seems pretty similar to yours. Witching hour is usually between 6 and 9pm although last couple of days it seems to be reducing / getting better. We give him a bath at 8.30, then bottle then hes usually asleep at around 9.30. He will then sleep in 3 hr blocks through the night till about 8ish although as we get into the morning time he becomes more unsettled and noisy lol.

Through the day you can never tell what your going to get with regards to naps but hes not too bad. We do go out though and will drive places for walks or to visit immediate family and I think this helps him to sleep because of the motion of the car / walking.

We were finally able to register him today which was nice - he now officially exists!

It's been handy seeing everyone routines etc, I dont know anyone with a baby so wouldnt know what to expect / what's "normal" so this thread has been really useful

@mrssunshinexxx just the last 2weeks.
I know it may not last so enjoying it while i can. She was quite unsettled 2:30 then 5am this morning, i think its due to her starting to hate her moses basket so it may be time for the cot in our room.

@Mj2196 yea it was very hard the first week as it brought back all my aches and pains but i had no choice or I'd have no business to come back to 😞 I'm in a nice morning routine now though 😊