June 2020 Babies - newborn snuggles, recovery, milk and night feeds!

[LillianFullStop]

First post natal thread for June 2020 babies! Looking forward to seeing our birth club thread members here soon!

@Gigitree I am very similar to @APD1981 we have video monitor and I can see her chest moving up and down she is up there asleep somewhere between 7.30 and 8 and I'm in bed at the mo no later than half 9! I pop up to have a look at her aswell it works really well and also gives me and hubby time to snuggle on sofa like old times when we used to keep her down with us she just witches for hours as the telly was on it was light . We were talking and she was just so overstimulated this works so much better now bath 6ish massage story big long feed then she usually sleeps until 1am ish x

Sounds incredible @APD1981 but I just don’t feel safe leaving her on her own as this goes against the lullaby trust guidance. No judgment to you it sounds like you’re doing a really good job keeping an eye on her, and your evening sounds idyllic but I just don’t see how it’s possible to achieve that unless you leave them on their own (which I don’t want to do until 6 months although like you I know others do this a lot sooner) or you go to bed when they do, which would mean no time for dinner or time with my DH

Sounds incredible @mrssunshinexxx

@gigitree I felt really bad about doing it because of that guidance too but then I figured he's actually safer with me watching him on a monitor than he is if I'm next to him but fast asleep. I couldn't see how watching him on a monitor would increase his risk, to be honest. But absolutely, each to their own.. i know for my own sanity that I couldn't cope with 6 months of never having any time to myself at all and I would start to resent having to go to bed early, never cook and eat with DH, or just never be able to have half an hour to do something 'normal'. For me, the Lullaby Trust guidance is there as a 'cover all' guidance and so by watching him on a monitor in a different room feels no worse than being fast asleep next to him, in my opinion.

I don't know what else to suggest to you really. I suppose you either keep her downstairs with you or you go to bed with her. I would personally recommend a bedtime routine that they can stick to as they grow though. My sister did that with hers and as they grew up they were so good at going to be when they were supposed to because it's what they'd always done x

@ADP1981 We did this for the first time last night as our BT monitor arrived. I had gradually been bringing bed time earlier, mainly to avoid an evening of crying, which in fairness has got better anyway. so now I go up for bath time at 6-6:30 then lullabies and feed with her being asleep by 7:30... I then came down stairs. We did end up sitting and watching her on the monitor the whole time and I went back up to bed just after 9 myself. I was a bit anxious about not being in the room with her but I could see her chest moving so that relaxed me a bit.
she's 9weeks so a lot earlier than I intended to do this, was planning on slowly introducing this from 4 months so we were in a good routine at 6 months when she goes to her own Nursery.
It was actually really nice just to have that hour and a half with hubby, it felt weird her not being in the room with us and I missed her but gave us. Glimpse of what it will hopefully be like every evening when she's settled in that routine properly and even better, when she sleeps through the night!

@smiffette that's exactly what I did the first night!! Just sat there watching the iPad! I was really anxious and it felt very weird but now we really look forward to having just a bit of time to ourselves. We did it for the first time exactly 2 weeks ago and he is just over 10 weeks now. I had absolutely no intention of doing it at all before I had him but I didn't realise how difficult the evenings were so this has really made life so much easier. And, like you, it's like a glimpse into the future when hopefully things will be a lot easier!

I totally agree with what you are saying and it makes a lot of sense @APD1981 it’s just hard when there’s no real guidance that explains why it’s considered safer for you to be in the same room, when like you say video monitors are so good you can keep a close eye on them, which is more than you would be doing if you were asleep!

Out of interest, what video monitors did everyone go for?

As above. Dd goes up for a bath between 545 and 630 depending on her last feed. Then has a bottle then into bed. We have a video monitor so can watch her but she is the nosiest sleeper ever!! plus she has a dummy which we can see her sucking.

Like @APD1981 i need some child free time without anyone touching me or demanding anything from me for the sake of my mental health.

@gigitree I think that they strip the guidance down to the absolute basics to cover people who maybe would leave the baby in bed on their own all night (like the old days!) so the guidance is there to be interpreted however you see fit. I feel as like Freddie is perfectly safe with me watching him. He joins us at the dinner table every evening via the monitor! Haha.

We have a Motorola monitor that you can get in Boots (we found a nearly new one on EBAY a lot a cheaper though. It has motion, sound, and temperature sensors and also has an app as well as the monitor which I like as the ipad screen is really big so I can see him breathing really easily.

For what it's worth: i didn't take the decision to do what we do lightly. I'm a rule follower and I felt like I was breaking the rules. But I take every precaution with how he's put in bed etc so the monitor feels very safe and has saved my sanity! Take some time to think about it and if it's not for you, then that's absolutely fair enough x

@APD1981 thank you! I appreciate that and it sounds like a lot of people make the decision you have. The problem is I’m 99.9% sure she would be absolutely fine, but I know I’d never forgive myself if a SIDS situation happened and I had left her 🤣

Omg hideous typo on the emoji there! Was meant to be ☹️

@SRS1311 it’s draining isn’t it . It has improved from 5-11 so Im not complaining. I honestly think it’s too hard to judge this early some nights baby will sleep 4 hours , other nights he’s up every hour 🤷🏻‍♀️. I hope it’s the end of witching hours for you though !

@Gigitree how long is she napping for and how is she at night ? Unless she’s napping 2.5 hours+ and barely sleeping at night I wouldn’t but it’s completely your choice , every baby is different .
Im leaving attempting a routine until dd is back at nursery next month

She will happily nap for 3.5 hours in the afternoon and by then I normally wake her, so I’ve no idea how long she would go if I just left her!
She sleeps ok at night, usually we get a good 3/3.5 hour stint to begin with, then it’s hit and miss after that! @Mj2196

@Gigitree Oh that is long ! If it’s her only daytime nap though it’s understandable ..Have you tried to split it up and settle her for a morning nap or is she a nap fighter 🙈?

You ladies routines all sound lovely ! I’m jealous but couldn’t imagine not having our snuggly evenings feeding just yet . Its the only time we’re alone with having dd at home 24/7,I’m quite lucky she goes to bed at 7 and stays there till 6am. My dp doesn’t get home while 7.30pm anyway so he likes to have an hour with him. . Dreading having to get organised when I go back to work 🤣

@APD1981 @AndddddHerewegoagain @mrssunshinexxx everyones bedtime routines sound like bliss, I would love to get to the point where me and DH could have an hour of an evening.

What age did you all start implementing these routines? Mine being only 6 weeks I think might be too young at the minute.

The other thing is, at the minute mine wakes up every 3 hrs to feed (formula fed). That's the same through the day and night. We do the nightime routine at half 8 / 9 but hes still awake at midnight to feed! So if I did it earlier, I think he would still wake up after 3 hrs and wouldnt get that nice evening time! Were yours the same till they got a bit older? Or do I just have a hungry/ bad sleeping baby!

It’s depends but no it’s not her only daytime nap @Mj2196
She tends to have a smaller nap in the morning, then a mega afternoon snooze, and then again she will snooze in the early evening. I just assumed it was normal for newborns to sleep a lot 🤷🏼‍♀️

I started a bath time routine at 3 weeks but I started putting him in the crib with the monitor at just over 8 weeks. He has his best sleep fir the first part of the night, usually 4-5 hours so depending when exactly he goes to sleep (ideally somewhere between 7 and 8) he usually wakes around midnight. If I go to bed at 9.30 I get 2-3 hours before his first feed. Sometimes I go earlier if I'm tired, too. After midnight he's been waking every 2-3 hours so it's hard but the fact I've had a bit of a baby free evening makes it mentally easier to cope with, to be honest!

We have started a routine thanks to the huckleberry app which has been mentioned before on here. It has been hit and miss but it's pretty accurate when she needs a nap now. As of yesterday she is 9 weeks and has stated only napping for 30 mins at a time around 4-5 a day. Ivy tends to fight them in the afternoon more now which is hard to then stick to the said routine but she will still sleep normally for a 5 hour stint at first and then awake every 2-3 hours after 1am.
We bath every other night but always go in to her nursery were I change her for bed with lullaby music on my phone and she then feeds sometimes to sleep other times I can put her down in our room and she sends her self to sleep. I have found she will only really go down between 8-9 and days where she is nearer 8 I put the monitor on and come back down stairs for a little while with the OH. We bought a angel care monitor which I have been very impressed with from Aldi.
Had to attach this image of her this morning when she woke up, she is the cheekiest little thing 🥰

With my ds he started his bedtime routine at 4 weeks. I know some babies thrive on routine but my son would scream from 545 if he wasn't in the bath and then in bed. By 3 months you could time his feeding/ sleeping/ playtime to the minute.

How smug was I

Dd has brought me down a few pegs. @srs1311 we started at 6 weeks and 6 weeks later shes still pretty hit and miss. I started at 6 weeks because like her brother she would just scream between 7 and 9pm and i realised it was because she was getting over stimulated but she doesn't comply at all 😂

@Gigitree it is ! At this age they are still suppose to sleep more than they are awake .jj has a morning nap , a longer sleep after dinner time and a few half hour cat naps on me after some feeds . But won’t nap in the evening He will fight to stay awake after 4pm though which leads to the fussy hours . My hv said aim for 3/4 naps ranging from 30mins up to 2hours , yours sounds fine to me .
I found it all went out the window during 4 month sleep regression with dd anyway 🤣

@Busylizzie85 aw she’s beautiful ! It’s nice they are getting little personalities now isn’t it
Here is my cheeky chub 😄

Oh he looks like a lovely cheeky chappie @Mj2196 🥰

@Mj2196 thank you that’s really reassuring to hear. My health visitor has been useless so perhaps that’s why I feel so unsure all the time!

Awww love seeing the pictures of the babies!
Both looking gorgeous!

I’ll try and attach a picture of Grace!

@Gigitree sounds like I have same monitor as @APD1981 also bought off eBay new for £100 it's fab
It is safer to regularly check them and have a monitor than be fast asleep in same room as them but obviously every one is different and personally like @AndddddHerewegoagain says it's very important to have some time with husband and without baby attached x

@SRS1311 I'll probably get hung for this but we started at around 4 weeks as she spent previously to this 5-10pm crying / witching on the sofa as far too stimulated and it's worked so well since I am still getting her off to sleep right now and I'm going to have a shower and go to bed myself so she will only be half an hour ahead of me tonight x