Septermber 07 poppers.....please meet here!

[dal21]

Hi ladies - cannot see a thread for the sept ladies who have popped. Thought I would start one (hope I havent been totally blind and missed one already set up)

we can share our trials and tribulations of our LO's here!

Glad to see you are home PLP x

Well we seem to have settled quite nicely into a once a night routine, he has his last feed between 9-11pm then sleeps till between 1-4.30 depending on the last feed long may it continue

I am feeling much better this morning, i think the extra little sleep i got last night thanks to DH helped alot.
Chattyhan - Arben usually wakes up at 4am aswell and most night he is back down by 4.30 and is up again 2-3hrs later, it works for me! Mind you he fed for 7mins at 8am, went back to sleep at 9.30 and is still conked! He does like his mornign sleeps!

Oops, took me 2 hours to get that post in and things seem to have jumped on a bit conversation wise I agree with others sentiment but I do actually love being home with the boys, the only annoying thing is when dh comes home and starts muttering about the state of the place, about how 'we' must tidy up yeah right, some days you just can't, mind you he can bloody talk, half the mess is his strewn everywhere

Well nothing is getting done here today, I was up half the night, if it wasn't feeding and settling Ben which took ages I was up with Sam from 2am as he threw up all over his bedclothes, seems to be getting better now though

Hope everyones day gets a bit better

Just wanted to say that I feel totally differently about being home with Anna than some of you other mums do. I very rarely envy my DH and actually feel a bit guilty about all of the lovely time I get with my children, BUT here's why.....I didn't enjoy much of my twins' babyhood, I didn't really feel like a mum until they were about 18m old and I really felt like I had thrown my life away. I resented DH for having a "real" job and felt totally depressed every Monday morning. I didn't have PND as such, I just felt like I was in the twilight zone and I was sort of waiting for it to end. Then something just clicked, they were suddenly real people with real little personalities and they were MY responsibility. I then started to really enjoy being a mum (obviously still had BAD days). This time round it is such a treat to just have one baby that I am really enjoying it. What you are feeling is totally normal and it will prob change soon, the first 3 mths are the hardest imo. I am sure it will "click" way before 18m as well!!!

Hi CM - great post.
Since DS was born, I too have spent a lot of time at home 'enjoying' him so to speak. I think I wont ever have this time again as if we have another one, we will have a toddler running around. I am really glad I have taken the last 9 weeks so easy - but think I should now start getting out and about and getting to know some local mums. That will probably help the way I feel. None of my friends have babies yet - so it feels as though I have to start building a new social circle from scratch - didnt have the energy in the beginning, but think I need to find it from somewhere.

Days like today are rare, but when they do come I feel so guilty and very ungrateful for everything I have. I guess I know what I need to do to not feel like this though, so had better get on with it!

MrsF - hello. glad to see things are getting more settled. Sound as though you need a nap...which is where I am heading as soon as DS stops grizzling in his cot!

Sorry haven't had time to read posts.

Little one has been quite unsettled last week, think due to growth spurt and he is a bit colicky seems to have settled down for now. he is 6 weeks old and up two - three times a night still. Feeds during the day are frequent if he is awakw alot but every 4 hours if he sleeps alot. There is still no real signs of any routine settling in.

He has been a really good baby over th last few days and is happy to playon his mat or in his cot as long as I have been near and talking to him. He seems to be very chilled.

I have my 6 week check tomorrow not sure what that will involve and my periods have started already which I didn't think would happen so soon (only gave up BF 3-4 weeks ago). Had bad PMT but think this could be just a mixture of forgetting what it is really like and hormones everywhere!!

DS is growing well and already weighs 12lbs he is almost out of his 0-3mth clothes (he is a very long baby). Went to a lovely mum and baby group yesterday so feeling a little more positive about everything.

Hope everything is going well for all of you and your little ones are growing up well.

i posted on bfeeding thread and posters all lean in the direction of following DS cue for night feeding as opposed to trying to stretch him out.

i am mightliy confused by what to do. I would like to say I would sleep on it - but that won't happen.

Dal - do whatever you need to do to get some sleep because if you are sleep deprive you can't make rational decisions. Maybe do a couple of nights of letting Ryan set his own routine, so you can get some relaxed sleep as opposed to worrying about him doing the right thing. If he has a couple of days out of your routine at this age it will affect nothing in the long run - just gives you a chance to recharge and take a step back and appraise. I did a week of Linus doing a good 4 hour routine through the day and now i know he can do it if need be, it makes me more relaxed if he wants a long nap through the day and misses a feed or if we go out and feeds are a bit hit and miss. The strructure is there in the background and it gives me the confidence to be flexible when it is needed.

As regards enjoying being a mum - i love it! I have found a good circle of friends and we all acknowledge the importance of getting out and getting on with life so we egg each other on to do stuff- like BF in public. I make sure we have something to do and somewhere to go every day (even if it's just a trip to boots to buy cotton wool followed by a hot chocolate in a cafe) and then one day a week we have a mummy/linus cuddle day at home.
I do find BF tying but i wouldn't swap it for anything.

I know my circumstances are different to othes and i think the stressful situations me and Linus have had to deal with have given us the confidence to do things we otherwise wouldn't have tried until he was a bit older.

That said, i am helped by the fact that he is a very chilled baby.

Dal - you weren't insensitive - if my mother was still alive she would have been good moral support but useless practical support - she had nannies and barely had to lift a finger to look after us - although she did bf. So although i miss her every minute of the day and i want to ring her and tell her how wonderful her grandson is, i'm not thinking "oh if only mum were here, it would be easier". If mum were here, it wouldn;t be easier but i would have someone to moan down the phone to and that is what kills me.
s
x

Sophus - we can definately help with someone for you to moan to! I think you're doing brilliantly and your group of friends is a great thing to have. I have a group that i met when ds1 was born and we met up 3/4 times a week in the early months as time went on and people went back to work it changed but we now all go out for dinner together once a month! We are also arranging our dc's 3rd birthday next month and throwing them a joint party!

Cupcake - your 6 week check will probably just be a chat about contraception! Well done to your LO on his weight! And i'm pleased you've found a nice mum and baby group it can be a great lifeline

tis the brandy lol.
Even after 4 lo's they are unwilling to do me I'm too young.
yes, it's a fluey type of feeling and I fall asleep sitting up. And like I said it's not as if it's a sleep issue with me.

32, I have a friend who had her tubes tied during her 3rd c/section and she must have been about my age then.
I can't bear to be touched by anyone other than the lo's atm, not good for newly dh. He's getting p'd off about it tbh.

sophus - thanks for your lovely post. despite all you have been through, to come on here and offer much needed advice is really appreciated.

i do agree with you about going with the flow - but am going to persevere with the shush/patting at night a while longer. otherwise the last weeks efforts would have been wasted i feel. everything else i have done has eventually come good - hopefully this will too. only have abother 2 nights of muddling through. heading to mums again on thurs - so will get help for 3 nights. DH keeps offering to get up at night bless him, but i cannot have him going to work tired. i got a few powernaps today so feel ok.

fio - only way i have managed to stretch out nighttime sleeps is courtesy of easy routine from the baby whisperer. as you can probably tell from my posts though - tis not the smoothest of sailing!

I cannot wait to pounce on DH more frequently once we start seeing one another in the evenings. have already got our first night away from baby pencilled in and i CANNOT wait!

Hi all

Not got long - just popping to say, all well here. No routine in sight, except 3 yr old DD's which we all fit around!

Dal, sweetie, I think you should do whatever you feel happiest doing. Something I learnt when DD was a baby was not to take anyone's advice to heart - you know what is best for your baby and what suits you best as a family. My only peice of advice (which you shouldn't take to heart!!), is make sure you are actually enjoying Ryan as a baby. Don't push him into a routine, if it feels difficult in anyway, or is not right for you - they are only little tiny babies for such a short time, that I wouldn't like you to be worrying about getting him to sleep through the night. He will - you won't be sush-patting him when he is 16 (well let's hope so!). On the other hand, if you are happy doing what you are doing, then carry on as it is obviously best for you and Ryan!

Sorry, got to dash off and get DD from school - toby fed for 1.5hours this morning, such a change from his normal 5 mins burst! 8 week growth spurt I assume - injections tomorrow!

xxx

Hello - just to say Alex had his first lot of injections yesterday and was fine. Quite sleepy if anything but he felt a little warm last night so i did give him calpol! DS1 bless him was quite concerned about the nurse making holes in his baby brother! Well still full of cold here and no playgroup again for ds1 so i'm getting very behind in everything i need to do! I've been stuck in the house for nearly a week and ds1 messes it up faster than i can tidy! I've been trying to teach him to blow his nose! Why is something so simple so difficult to explain - he just can't do it despite even gagging him to force him to breathe in/out of his nose! He's now taken to saying 'achoo' when i ask him to blow!!!

Awww chatty, bless him! DD1 couldn't blow her nose for a long time and she still struggles at 9 years old - I used to tell her to try and blow fire out of her nose like a dragon!

They've confirmed that Cerys can't have her immunisations until 4 weeks after the surgery so looks like we'll be a bit behind you with that - glad it went well for Alex! How's his belly button now?

Well, I am truly exhausted in every way - physically, mentally and emotionally! I think the adrenaline kept me going while we were in the hospital and now that has run out I'm soooo tired! We're trying to work Cerys out all over again now that she's got a new cry! She's definitely been in pain so she's on paracetamol and ibuprofen regularly for the next few days. It's almost like having a newborn baby come home all over again which has its good and bad points. I'm still a bit fingers and thumbs with her as there are special ways of picking her up and holding her what with the wound but we're getting by.

Chatty, festival place sounds lovely! How about the next couple of weeks? Also, did I read that one of us has moved to Reading? I'm in Basingstoke so just up the road from there too...

Gotta dash, need to eat some lunch before Cerys wakes up for her next mammoth feed! She only used to take 2-3 ounces per feed before the op but she's taking 3-5 ounces now!

PLP xxx

Hi Everyone ! Sorry not had time to post! We've all got colds again and DD's off school too ! My dd1 has her first Brownie Camp at the weekend and is very excited about packing all her stuff - have spent today getting everything organised and washed ready !

Plp - so good to have you back and so glad Cerys is making a good recovery - bless her ! Think you should take it easy now and try and get some rest after the ordeal of the op!

Dal21 - sounds like your routine is working and your Mum and DH sound fab ! Maybe you could get your DH to do the night shushing over the weekend so you could stay up and spend the evening together ?

Eloise is doing well - she is 12 weeks tomorrow and weighs 10lb 12 ! We have second jabs tomorrow - yuk ! However we are doing a lovely coffee morning first with NCT group at Pottery painting place so should be fun!

She's sleeping well from 9.30pm after bottle of formula and wakes at 5ish . But the evening from 6 is not good with lots of fussing and crying !

love to you all xx

hello all!

well today was a much better day. DH did the 2am shush patting and he was back down straightaway and in within 20 mins, so it is working.

fettle - thanks so much for your kind words. I would love to be the type of mum who enjoys the nighttime cuddling and one who wouldnt mind waiting til ryan leads me - but it just isnt my nature and sleep deprivation does bad things too me! Getting ryan into the routine is working for me as during the day I am a much happier and more chilled person. and he is a really happy and settled baby.

Fio - it is easy for me to still want to pounce on DH, I only have one bub to run around after. lets see how i feel once i have a few more.

PLP - when done you and cerys. am not surprised you are exhausted - who wouldnt be! you are doing an amazing, amazing job. make sure you try and take some time out for you.

Amyclara - DH is ahead of you and has now said that he is taking over the 2am shush /pat as I have done enough the last 9 weeks. I am happy to alternate nights at the most - but not let him do every night.

Had a great day today - Holly's george and ryan had a playdate - some very cute photos! Tomorrow i give pushy mothers a go round the heath. right feed time over, time to grab some dinner before bed/ bathtime. hope everyone is ok.

amyclaramum - your nights sound just like ours, fussy evening followed by a good night's sleep. And we have first jabs on Friday, really not looking forward to it either.

Dal - there are as many types of parenting as there are parents, sounds like the routine is suiting your family so good luck with it. Your DH sounds fab, and I am very envious of you having a helpful mum. Mine is 8000 miles away but even if she was here she won't do much more than take Anna for a walk occasionally.

PLP - no wonder you are exhausted, all that tension and worry is exhausting too! Please take care of yourself as well as your little girl. Sounds like Cerys is trying to make up the weight .

Had a weird day today, it was the first day since Anna's birth where I felt a bit bored. I was trying not to book up too many things but today I came home from school run and didn't know what to do with myself (other than housework - yawn). I have been avoiding socialising other than with close friends but now I feel like getting out there more. Anyone else??? Must start thinking about expressing so we can have an evening out before 2009!!

Oh, oh, oh, I'm so excited, something utterly amazing happened today - I'm over the moon, ecstatic, delirious. Get the idea?! I'm

Today is the day my maternity leave and pay has finally been sorted. I am finally getting paid while I have time off with my baby!!!! Horray!

Can you tell I'm happy about it? I don't have to go back to work yet, and christmas is now back on in the kinki house. I don't know if you remember but my employers (nhs) were being complete and utter @rseholes about letting me have any maternity pay - they screwed up my pay and didn't pay me for half of the qualifying period, so therefore I didn't earn enough to get it (I only work one day a week). I exhausted all avenues to get them to give me what I'm due (including threatening legal action) but they dug their heels in. Meanwhile as a backup dh got me to apply for maternity allowance. And today I got the letter to say thay I'm elligible and getting it from when Liam was born. So backpay as well. The best bit is that the month after I didn't get paid, I got paid double and this was allowed to be part of my qualifying period of maternity allowance. Still with me? Upshot is, maternity allowance is paying me more than I usually earn and deffo more than maternity pay from the nhs.

I can nearly say all the stress and worry has been worth it. All the money worries have gone and the pressure of going back to work while I'm still ill has gone. These things have seriously been doing my head in for ages. But not now! Can't believe my baby is nearly 3 months old before its all sorted though.

Funny thing was about 20 mins after the letter came the hv visited to repeat the depression questionnaire. Funnily I scored much better today, can't think why. If she'd turned up a bit earlier she'd seen me and ds2 skipping around the house and jumping for joy. We were so happy.

I'll catch up with everyone's news tomorrow. But just wanted to share my happy news with you all. (I'm getting boring now aren't I?!)

Congratulations Kinki, that's fab news

Wow, Kinki, that's fab. It must be SUCH a weight off your mind . Honestly, I think it's so hypocritical of the NHS - they (or at least the government) make such big noises about work/life balance and improving maternity provision, and then they treat you like this. So glad you got it sorted.

Dal, really impressed that you're sticking with your routine. My goal is 'vague pattern' at the moment, as it seems much more achievable. The slight pattern he has developed so far is entirely self-imposed - he just kind of fell into it. Though I'm going to start 'bath, bottle, bed' tonight, on the HV's advice.

PLP, it's no surprise you're knackered. I find it's when things begin to look up that you finally realise how exhausted you are.

Chatty, LOL at your LO and the fake 'achoo'. That's so cute!

Not much news from me. I'm back to being convinced Paul's got silent reflux, so we're giving the Gaviscon another go (it's a hell of a lot easier now he's bottle feeding). He's still putting on weight really fast, which is great - nearly 2oz a day for a week now! Our other milestone is that DH and I finally got back to 'marital relations' yesterday during one of Paul's naps, at my instigation - I don't think he dared ask! I was just relieved that it felt vaguely normal and not painful; look forward to Paul sleeping a bit more reliably in future .

Hope everyone's doing well. Nighty night all.