Newborn support group anyone?

[CupCupGoose]

Anyone else want to join me for a bit of moral support?

DC3 was born on the 28th February (so pleased he wasn't born on the leap year day!)

He doesn't like being put down so I'm pretty exhausted. DH and I are taking turns to sit up with him at night but as I'm breastfeeding, I'm having to do more. I know it's not forever though.

Milk has just come in so I'm feeling pretty emotional at the moment. Again, I know it will pass!

I'm just about to attempt to put him down in the crib, wish me luck!

How's everyone getting on? I think ds has colic. Every evening, starting at about 7pm, he crys for hours and hours. I'm lucky if I get him to sleep before midnight.

My husband has had a headache all week which has turned out to be an awful migraine and sickness so he's been in bed all day poor thing 🙁 and that means I've had my little girl alllll day which is fine because I have her most of the day anyway but I know that trying to have a shower or make myself some food tonight is going to be difficult 😩 he usually looks after her a bit in the evenings so I can at least shower. It's also made me feel a lot more lonely today with being isolated ..

Other than that we are doing well 😊 baby is happy and healthy and smiling a lot more now! So that's lovely. I miss seeing my family but I know that everyone does.

@CupCupGoose My LG seems more hungry and fussy in the evenings although that seems to have settled a bit, apart from the last couple of days because I'm sure she's having a growth spurt and wanting more milk 🤔

Hope everyone else is well.

People have generally been good here. But I'm struggling. Not been able to put DS down all day and I'm exhausted and achy. Really wishing my mum was around to help atm. Been diagnosed with PND too so not helping

@Lcw29 I'm so sorry, this is such a hard time anyway, without the added stress of everything that's going on and to top it off with not being able to get support from friends and family. I hope you are looking after yourself as much as possible. How is your baby doing with constipation ect?

@lovesT I hope you manage to get a shower and some food. It's hard when you haven't got anyone to hold the baby for 5 minutes. Hope your DH feels better tomorrow to help you a bit more.

This baby is so different to my other two. He only wants feeding when he's hungry, whereas my other two wanted to comfort feed all the time. If they cried, I'd just feed them and 9/10 times, it would settle them. He really struggles to fall asleep and seems to just want to sleep all the time. I have to have walk around with him, jiggling and patting his back all day long.

@CupCupGoose I'm trying to but finding it hard to find the energy. His constipation has gone but he screams through feeds and afterwards. Today hes cried almost constantly. I think he has bad wind too. My doctor has prescribed infant gaviscon so I'm hoping it will help quickly.

Hi everyone. I’m new to this thread. DD is 5 days old and I’m having so much trouble getting her settled at night. I was hoping someone could offer some advice.

I’ve spent the last 2 1/2 hours cluster feeding her and she still wants more milk. We’ve struggled with breastfeeding as we started with a really bad latch and by day 2 I already had nipple trauma and had to express and use formula until they healed a bit. Tonight we’re back to BF but she is really frustrated and screaming bloody murder for 5 minutes before finally latching on. She’ll scream with my nipple right in her mouth rather than latch on. I’ve been pacing the floors trying to get her to calm down. I hand her over to DH and she is immediately quiet and calm and falling asleep. This happened last night as well when we were still FF.

I’m starting to feel like a complete failure because I feel like I’m just stressing my baby out at night rather than comforting her. We don’t have these issues during the day.

This is my first DC so hoping a more experienced mum can offer some advice on things I can try to settle her.

Hi everyone. My LO is 6 weeks old now. I cancelled our 6 week checkup as I just didn't feel safe going into the surgery yet. I will try and combine with his 8 week jabs.

I've been finding lockdown SO hard. My newborn is pretty manageable but my toddler has turned into a little devil. She's regressed massively potty training, is having major tantrums and hitting us. This lockdown couldn't have come at a worse time with a new baby too. She's really unsettled.

My LO is feeding well although in the last few days he has also been unsettled lately which I think could be colic. I also find he gets very over stimulated by 6pm - probably being around his noisy sister all day!

@fibeee ive just had the same evening with my son. He was arching his back and gagging everytime my nipple went in his mouth but then cried when i took it away! Im sure he was just overtired. Try putting your LO down in a quiet, cool place (ie their bed, lights dimmed/off) and see if it settles them. I also bought my son 'Olly the Owl' which has a white noise setting that he loves. He still fusses in the evenings but once I'm sure he's fed I try this and it usually works. Worth a try!

I'm still feeling a bit down about how things are with this bloody virus. The 4th trimester was not supposed to be like this! Having said that I am kind of more in a routine now so the days do pass easier (well most of them.. had a meltdown yesterday after my toddler done a poo in the bath and my newborn wouldn't stop crying!!)

@fibeee my baby is 6 weeks old and my first so definitely not experienced! But we have had problems with reflux and sometimes she comes off my nipple screaming/ crying and it's usually uncomfortable wind and reflux poor thing ☹️. We find lying her down on her changing mat (or somewhere comfortable) helps a bit, and you can cycle their legs to help with trapped wind. Only problem if you do this too soon after feeding they'll probably be sick but I do find it helps her sometimes. I'm still learning a lot but I do hope it gets easier for you, it has for us 😊

Also don't feel like a failure, sometimes there really is nothing we can do (reflux is such a pain!) and we just have to go with it .. it will get easier, you're still in the very early days. We're just over 6 weeks in and I feel like we've worked a lot of things out and things have got easier, even if we do have those more difficult times!

Baby is having a particularly sicky day today 😢 two big vomits all over me when feeding and a few where she's on either of our shoulders and the sick drips off the muslin and onto the floor... she gets upset and my husband just gets annoyed and frustrated which makes me upset 😢 I find that I'm able to deal with it on the difficult days and accept it's a baby thing that will pass one day but he gets stressed a lot more quickly which makes me stressed and upset ☹️ he's amazing with her and looks after us both so well but I think that's why he gets annoyed because there's nothing he can do to help the situation. I try to stay positive and there have been some nice bits of today but it's over taken by the difficult bits and the stress of her being sick on everything 🙄

Hi ladies. Just wondering who has had their 6 week check yet, and how did it go? I cancelled my LO and am hoping to combine it with his 8 week jabs (due next week). But still feeling very anxious about taking him into the GP surgery. Will the Dr be suitably covered by PPE? Will they need to do a full body check on baby, I.e will I need to strip baby? Just worried about him being so exposed.

Not had mine yet but have it on thurs, combined with the jabs. This is my first so no idea what they usually do but can update after!

Hi all,
My little boy is 3 weeks old today. I'm a FTM and looking for a bit of advise.
My little one settles and sleeps really well at night in his cot with 2 or 3 feeds and straight back to sleep no issues but once hes had his morning feed anytime between 5-7am depending when he last ate he will not settle back in his cot so I put him in the bed with me in the safe sleep position as told by my midwife. He will then happily sleep for 3 hours or so before waking for another feed. But then the rest of the day when hes downstairs with me he will not sleep or settle in his travel cot. He will only sleep if I hold him or hes on the settee with me. He doesn't sleep a lot during the day and just cant settle himself. If I try to put him down even awake he lasts a couple minutes and then just cries and wont stop till I pick him up. Even with him falling asleep with me holding him as soon as I put him down he wakes within minutes and cries till I pick him up and then he goes to sleep again with me holding him.
Can anyone advise how to help settle him during the day so he sleeps and can settle? I know hes still really little and needs me but even just to lay him down to make a bottle he just cries and screams. Unfortunately I'm not able to breastfeed. He was born 2 weeks early and is very small at 5lbs 12oz. Is he just being clingy? I'm so desperate for 5mins to myself.
Any help or advice would be much appreciated.

@abbs1 I'm afraid to say that it's completely normal and your baby will eventually let you put them down to sleep during the day. It's hard when you feel like you can't do anything but honestly it will get better. Have you got a wrap sling? Honestly a life saver.

@LolaLollypop I haven't heard anything about my 6 week check. As my third baby, I think id probably not go but his shoulder got stuck and I was told the gp would do another check on it at 6 weeks. Was it you who had pain in your coccyx too? How is it? Mine is still there but much better. I can actually sit without a cushion now!

my baby is 6 weeks tomorrow and the health visitor is supposed to be doing a house visit. I tried to ring today to see if it was still on but no answer so I'm assuming she's still coming. I'm not sure I actually want anyone in the house though!

He has also started smiling in the last week which makes up for him screaming for hours on end every evening!

Sorry forgot to add, at the 6 week check, they repeat most of the checks they did on your baby at the hospital after they were born, like lookinf in their mouth, checking testicals/hips ect, so you do need to strip them off.

Hi everyone- I've been reading your thread for a while. Can I join you? My LO is now 7 weeks, and I also have an older one.

Like many of you, I've been finding lockdown on my own with screaming, refluxy baby and a demanding older child quite overwhelming. To make matters more difficult, the baby has a bad case of silent reflux and colic. He literally can't be put down and needs to be carried 24 hours a day. I'm still BF and have really struggled to improve his latch - he seems to be taken loads of air with every sip, and is then in agony. 10 minute feeds can take an hour because I have to wind & burp him every few seconds, when he pulls of screaming. Arrrgh. Was considering a lactation consultant but don't know whether they would do video calls or anything (really should get this sorted out!)

And the other thing that's been hard to deal with are problems with my own health & the complete lack of medical care, from GPs or anyone. I had a C section and got a bad UTI immediately afterwards - but the GP took ages to diagnose it and prescribe antibiotics (first prescribed the wrong ones, and then didn't get back to me about the lab result of my urine test for ages.) So it was about 4 weeks until I got the right drugs, by which time the infection had spread towards my kidneys. I'm now trying to convince my GP that the infection never cleared up fully and has now flared up again, and I need another round of ABs. All of this has to happen over the phone, of course. They have a box outside the surgery where you're supposed to leave urine samples, but they keep losing them or don't check it at all. Our 6 week check up got cancelled, as did most of the HV & midwife visits - so I feel totally on my own in this.

(Unkindly, I've been wondering what the GPs in my practice actually do all day - sort of fair enough that they're not seeing Covid cases, I guess, because they could get infected themselves. But they're not treating anyone else either! The phone line doesn't work half the time I'm calling, and when I do get through they've been super rude about whether this is really essential business (yes, it is - I've been in agony with a mismanaged & spreading infection for 7 weeks now!!!) Sorry, rant over, until I started writing this post I hadn't realised how worked up I am about this...

Hope everyone has been enjoying the spring weather, even though while locked up most of the time.

Hi @nopun - that doesn't sound good at the GP. Ours are still seeing anything essential and a possible chronic UTI sounds like it needs addressing - they should at least be testing your urine to check. I hope they see sense soon and you get some attention.

As you said it's hard enough dealing with a newborn let alone when you're concerned with your own health.

I was really looking forward to postnatal Pilates and baby groups about now, but I've started couch to 5k (which I did before I got pregnant) which is giving me something to focus on.

Hope everyone's bearing up ok.

@sulkysukey very impressive that you're running! But I know postnatal Pilates would have been more fun 😢 How old is your LO?

I keep putting exercise off until I've bought a decent nursing/ sports bra - my boobs got enormous when I started bf, and none of the bras I'd bought are very comfortable...

@nopun my LO is 9 weeks. Couch to 5k is great for postnatal because you basically start off walking and slowly build up to jogging little by little. But it feels good to be doing something 3 times a week (but I have to make sure DD has drained both breasts before I can get out otherwise it would be agony, so timing is a little tricky)!

Hey @CupCupGoose yes it was me with the tailbone pain. Tbh it got better but now seems to have come back again so I'm back sitting on cushions It's not as bad as it was during pregnancy but is more of an annoyance now. Just one of those things I'll have to live with until this all blows over I guess!

@abbs1 my LO sounds very similar to yours, he is quite clingy sometimes and wants to be held or on the boob all the time! I always make sure he's well fed but my nipples were becoming so sore from him fussing on them. I've now introduced the dummy (he's 7 weeks) and it's definitely helped. He won't always take it but sometimes it's what he needs - something to suck on and comfort him when he's tired. My toddler only used the dummy til she was about 6 months old then started sucking her thumb to self-soothe so I'm hoping my LO will do the same (the thumb is easier as it doesn't fall out!!)

@nopun I sympathise! I also had a UTI after birth and wasn't given anti biotics til about 10 days after. I'd been wondering why I felt so bad!

My LO also has a dodgy latch sometimes and swallows air. It's hard when you're tired but you really have to try and make sure they get as much of the nipple as possible. I sometimes lean forward and pinch my nipple so it's more condensed and shove it in his mouth. I also really want to see a breastfeeding consultant at my local grouonbut obviously not possible atm! I've managed by just layering my nips with Lanisoh after every feed to stop them getting too sore and googling advice on how to get a better latch. Sometimes my LO does really well and it's fine but other times not so good.

Hi, just joining the thread! Ds2 was born on 5thb March so is about 5 weeks old. I have an older DS who is 3 years old.

Ds2 around 6-7pm every night will scream and scream, progressively getting longer. Tonight it's about 30 minutes non stop. I've tried everything, rocking, sling, singing, feeding etc but nothing seems very successful. I think he's overtired and just needs to sleep. Once he's tired himself out, he generally sleeps ok. Wakes up every 2 hrs to feed but falls asleep right after.

I vaguely remember the same thing happening with ds1 too, so I guess it's normal? Sometimes when he cries so much and I can't help him, I just feel so bad. It's so strange as he is not like this during the day at all. I'm knackered and my back and shoulder hurts from all that rocking.

Thankfully DH is around to distract the toddler while I'm putting ds2 to bed if not it would be even worse!

But please tell me this is normal? And it's fine to let him cry a bit??

@Soda123x

Hi
Not been on here for a whole. Trying to stay off Mumsnet and SM because I was becoming overwhelmed with CV chatter.
So sorry I'm not up to date I just want somewhere to vent my irrational concerns. And yes I know this is irrational but it's just stuck in my head!

I actually think my son doesn't like me. He doesn't seem to get any comfort from me, he doesn't get any comfort in feeding like my older son did. In fact it seems to make him really unhappy when I offer boob and he isn't hungry. My older child was never off me and certainly never refused it!

He will scream in my arms and then stop when I put him down. He will take a dummy too (after some convincing that it's not a boob) and will be happy enough sucking away on that.
He doesn't seem to want to sleep in his cot either so basically gets so tired he eventually gives in if I rock him. Won't feed to sleep!
He does sleep in a wrap sling on me for hours in the day but only if I get him to sleep first then transfer. It's where he sleeps the best though.

Argh I know it's just normal baby stuff and he will settle but I honestly think he hates me. He's started smiling this week but only for daddy (who spends all day with 3yo and not wither the baby so I don't get it!!) he's 5 weeks now.

I'm also speaking to a lactation consultant who think I have over supply issues so that might explain the fussing and refusal of boob. But still what baby doesn't want to be held by its mum?! What happens to the forth trimester?

Rant over. I know it's irrational and if someone else said that to me I would tell them how ridiculous they are being but I just need to vent somewhere.

@hiimmumma so weird but my baby is exactly the same! Honestly could ahve written your post. Ds likes to be fed every 2 hours on the dot. If I offer him the breast a second too early he will scream and go crazy. When I put him in his bouncy chair or lay him on the floor he will stop crying! He also won't be fed to sleep so it takes hours and hours of rocking and patting and walking around the room. He is so so different to my other two, who would feed all day long if I let them! I just want to be able to hold my baby but unless he is asleep or feeding or walking around the room, he doesn't seem to want to be held. He isn't a happy baby at all. Please don't think your baby doesn't like you though. Do you think you might have pnd?

I've been meaning to ask, does anyone else have seperate stomach muscles? I had a 3 finger gap, which has gone down to a 1 finger gap. I had an over the phone physio appointment, but it's not quite the same as face to face.

@babychange12 welcome to the thread and congratulations on your baby. A lot of babies get over stimulated by the evening and cry alot because they cant get to sleep. I find taking the baby into a dark, quiet room before he gets overtired helps. Is he a windy baby? Infacol might be worth a try if you think it could be wind. It will get better I promise!

Thanks CupCup, I think he is overstimulated, so will have to bring him up to bed earlier.

I haven't check for diastasis yet, been scared to know if I have it! Although my belly is still massive so maybe I do? I keep getting ads for Mutu system though, not sure if it works? Would be keen to know of any safe post natal exercise