Ttc first baby catch up with our babies!

[Fivebyfive2]

Just putting this on in case anyone wants to catch up? We're all at different stages, so might be able to help each other out?

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl sorry I know I'm missing people, I'm blaming newborn brain!

I'll leave the link on the 'pregnancy' catching up thread xxx

@LokiCat Ah how lovely! Yeah the boys love a bath now, Ruairí has recently learned to splash haha which he is now obsessed with 🙈 It sounds like she and you are doing great!!

The boys did another 7-7 last night with no wakes, I feel fairly happy the regression is over and done with now! Well until they hit 8 months of course!! Both boys have worked out how to roll on to their bellies so that’s currently their fave thing to do. I’m completely on my own with them today which is scary as hell haha! But so far we’re 2 hours in and doing okay haha! Also attending an NCT online weaning workshop this afternoon which I’m looking forward to! Will pass on any tips!

Morning all

Well I totally ballsed up Finn’s las day nap timing yesterday which turned him into a screaming overtired mess so I gave him a comfort feed.
Usual bedtime routine but no sleep after the bottle so walked around with him for ages and got him down without food.
Didn’t get him down til 9.30 and his reflux was awful again. He was awake at 4 so something wasn’t quite right. I swear he’s just lying awake in his crib!!
Anyway, I think I tried to get him down a bit too early again for the morning nap; a few tears but no feeding either.
This is hard. We’d had such an easy, peaceful day yesterday where at one point I literally held him in front of the slumber buddy and he was out. I’m doubting myself all over again and am one nap away from quitting it!! I do not want him crying; it’s awful.

@LokiCat - you’re doing a great job, don’t doubt it!

@MrsEG - ooh the weaning class sounds great; enjoy!

@ELW85 Ah sorry you had a rough night. The way I look on it is, there’s always gonna be bad nights. Just when I thought I’d cracked it we hit a regression for 3 weeks! Plus I find if I do anything that upsets their quarantine routine naps are ruined - literally a big walk with the family on Sunday buggered the evening. When life gets back to normal routine is gonna go out of the window. Plus the two other regressions coming before their first birthday... I just try to take the shit days on the chin, dust myself off and remember today is a brand new day!
Yeah I’m really looking forward to it, it’s just small group sessions and we’ve been able to email the instructor all week so I feel she’s well prepped for the onslaught of questions! We’re definitely waiting for their 6 month birthday but that’s now only 7 weeks away! My big mission in the interim is getting them to try and sit/hold themselves a bit better, they are utterly hopeless at it haha, lazy boys!!

@ELW85 Oh also (and I’m not saying you do this, but I DEFINITELY did this) I’m sure the boys used to feed off my negative stress-y energy when I was getting annoyed they weren’t napping ‘right’ or waking too much. They’d be extra aggro if I was getting really stressed or upset. This one absolutely just comes with time but I try so hard to let it wash over me now; ‘he’s just not that tired, that’s okay’ I just kinda try and talk my way around it, deep breathing exercises too when one of them is really screaming. It has made a big difference to my mental health for sure but I really really have to work on it!

@MrsEG - where is the time going?! Those 7 weeks will fly over!
Looking forward to hearing about the session 😊
I hear you on the getting stressed; I just get upset when he’s upset so I give him loads of kisses and cuddles but obviously that doesn’t always work when they’re super upset.
Last night when he was overtired and really crying, I laid him in his crib, stroked his little face and kissed his tears away. Nearly killed me! He just looked at me like “why aren’t you doing anything?” So I have him a comfort feed.
Every time I think I’m doing something right, I mess up again!

Hi all!

@MrsEG, yay for a good night, well done gents 😀 Oooo enjoy the weaning class online I hope it's good. It is fab they're rolling back to front, Joe still doesn't! He was doing front to back quite early and is trying to crawl, but back to front rolls, he's like 'naaahh' 🤷‍♀️

@ELW85, don't be so hard on yourself, babies are hard to read sometimes!

Joe went down (after a slight struggle) at about 7.15 and woke at midnight. Asleep by 12.30, up at 4... Wiiiiide awake! Dh took him down at 5 and brought him back up at 6, he fed and slept until 8.30!

Well, all the bits are in place in his room now, I think we're trying him tonight... Wish us luck! And today's lunch is potatoe and carrot mash 😋

Literally what we say to Joe whenever he's upset 😂

Part one of course is done! I was hitting notes on my phone so will paste here. I wanna stress this is an NCT weaning course so not my opinion and I don’t wanna offend anyone with the list, it’s just the advice they gave out this morning - and I paid £25 for this course so you guys can have it for free haha!

Weaning
Should be sitting up
Digestive system is mature enough
Head and neck control
Try and eat with them - have them at the table and give them food as you have your meal
Idea that solids must be introduced between 4-6 months is a myth it is when baby is ready for solid food
Reasons not to wean some women mistake for reasons to start early: baby waking a lot at night, hungry baby, big baby - makes no difference
Weaning too early can cause discomfort within intestines
NHS guidelines are start at around 6 months, and look for the signs they are ready - some babies don’t take to it until 7 or even 8 months - baby must be ready
Encourage baby to eat, don’t force it
You can stop if you’ve started and don’t think they’re ready
Eye contact is important when baby is eating
Main signs baby is ready: sits up well, unsupported with head steady
Picks things up and puts them in mouth
Can chew and swallow food easily - tongue thrust reflex has diminished

They showed us some videos here of babies who were and weren’t ready which was so useful, especially to see babies that could sit well in a high chair versus those who hadn’t mastered it yet. They shouldn’t be slumped down/leaning forwards at all.

Banana stains everything!
Food before 1 is for fun - milk is primary source for nutrition up to about 10/11 months, and then food takes over. It’s about exploring textures and tastes and learning how to eat! It’s a new skill for them to master. It doesn’t matter how much baby eats when weaning - it’s all about introducing plenty of different tastes and textures. Try not to start too bland or they won’t like the ‘stronger’ flavours.

Key takeaway was don’t be in a rush to start - and never give it before 17 weeks. Take your time, let gut develop and be mindful of food allergies. You could end up filling your baby up on foods that don’t have nearly the nutritional completeness of breastmilk and formula.

Common foods to start with - banana, peaches, sweet potato, avocado, pasta, soft cheese, stewed carrot and pear - it needs to be mushy enough! Also it can be purées, mashed or small finger foods - no right or wrong.

@Fivebyfive2 - how was lunch? And how are you feeling about tonight?

@MrsEG - the course sounds good, and thanks for the notes!

Weaning course all done, I so enjoyed it and feel so much better prepared and ready now. I think they’re sending the slides over to us so if they do and anyone wants them I’m happy to email over! The second part was all about how weaning develops, when to go from one meal to two, to three, how to slowly drop the milk feeds etc etc. Definitely glad I did it! I now think I may go fully baby led?!

@Fivebyfive2 Oh Joe! You may find he sleeps better in his own room - fingers crossed! One of my NCT friends did her first night last night and other than a dream feed at 11 her little girl slept through, for the first time ever! She’s 5 months old. I’m excited for you! Ha I love the Simpsons pic - I had this with Conor yesterday he was screeeaming (real tears!) and we’d tried everything, I suddenly kinda flung him over my shoulder to reposition myself and he let the biggest burp out and immediately stopped!!

@ELW85 you’re not getting anything wrong - there is no wrong or right! It’s all just constant learning with babies it really is especially in the first 3 months it’s just one curveball after the next! Finn is loved and fed and warm and that is quite truly all he needs. His sleep will fall in to place!

I’m totally on one today ladies so sorry for the rubbish responses! Gone from Finn looking at a slumber buddy to go to sleep yesterday to crying today.
I’m shattered and just want to be able to get him to sleep without upsetting him!

@ELW85 Ah don’t worry it’s what we’re here for! Sensory stuff didn’t work on Conor for sleep, all it worked for was calming him down while we got him dressed and in to his sleeping bag. So it’s great, but never worked as a proper sleep aid for us, it’s all trial and error!
Obviously this is literally just stuff that worked for us but the biggies that we’re life savers were total blackout blinds, white noise machine and their own cot.
You’re in my thoughts today - bad sleep/nap days are truly the worst. If you need to sit on the stairs and cry, do!!x

@MrsEG - that’s exactly what I feel like doing! Thank you for the support, it means a lot.
What I don’t get is yesterday I could literally hold him, he’d look at it and fall asleep. Today, 30 mins to get down walking around the room and shush patting as well as the slumber buddy being on.
I have no idea what works and what doesn’t anymore! X

@ELW85 so we don’t use it at all for naps, we found it was confusing then a bit between a nap and a nighttime sleep so we just use it at bedtime, but every baby is different. It can take a couple of days for a baby to make a new association with sleep too, it takes a while for it to become their ‘routine’! At the same time he could also just be having a rotten day, just do what you can to get through it, know every day won’t be like this and maybe get some wine chilling in the fridge now!

Wow this thread moves fast these days.

Hope you're all well. Can't believe Esme is now 3 months old already. Not sure where the time's gone. It's a total blur!
I went round to my mum's on Friday as she got her long awaited cuddle from Esme - I know it's totally against lockdown but she lives alone (so would have been allowed if we lived in England) and it was needed by all 3 of us. Hoping for better news from Nicola sturgeon tomorrow for further easing of restrictions.

@ELW85 Sorry to hear you're feeling down about naps. Ours are still very hit and miss. What's helping me is thinking about sleep and naps as developmental goals like sitting up and rolling over. He will manage when he's ready. You're giving him the opportunity to nap in his own bed and that's all you can do really. He's sleeping like an absolute trouper at night, we've had a one off 7 hour stretch but usually 5 max. Don't worry about nurseries, they work some sort of magic nap voodoo in there.

Personally (no judgement on others' choices) I am very anti controlled crying/cry it out etc so have accepted it will probably take a very long time before Esme is self settling for naps and at night. But that sits better than me than unnecessary crying. I'm also taking max mat leave so she'll be 13 months when I go back to work and have ages to tackle the feeding to sleep associations. Also when she falls asleep on boob, she does loads of sleepy smiles which melt my heart, fat better than tears.

@MrsEG weaning work shop sounds interesting, my DH is desperate for her to like olives 😂😂.

@Lemonysherbet So sorry things have been so tough. I remember thinking "what have we done" "this is hell" etc etc for about the first 6-8 weeks. Still have tough days but the love has grown so much I couldn't imagine life without her. Don't forget that we are not getting the help and support that every mother in history before us has had. (And hopefully in future always will). You're doing an incredible job under such awful circumstances. We're always here.

@Fivebyfive2 Good luck for nursery sleep tonight!!

@AngeloMysterioso Hello! how are you getting on?

@MrsEG @LikeTheFruit - so this is definitely where I’m failing in that I’m not currently putting him down drowsy/awake if I put him down at all.
When I did the PU/P.D. pat shush thing he cried and took a while to soothe which I couldn’t bear so I’m getting him to sleep without food but he’s still on me. I just feel so much pressure to get this sorted for going back to work as it now looks like I’m WFH (just got an email from my boss).
I’m sorry, I know I sound neurotic but I don’t feel like I’ll ever resolve this without him crying, me feeding him to sleep forever or holding him.
I know I sound neurotic, I’m just having a really bad day. Sorry guys. Xx

@ELW85 Don't apologise. Remember he's still in 4th trimester and doesn't know that you and him are separate people yet. You've got 3 months before you're back at work? That's a lifetime in baby terms so so much can change in that time. Just keep giving him the opportunity to fell asleep himself now and again and one day he'll manage it. Tbh I had to take a step back from the thread with all the sleep chat as I found myself falling into trap of thinking about it all the time it was consuming my thoughts. If we were allowed out to cafes, baby groups, lots of visitors etc I doubt any of us would even notice how long and when our babies were napping.

@ELW85 Also you are not failing at all! How much a baby sleeps or doesn't sleep bares no relevance to how good a mum you are. You obviously love Finn so much. If it's any reassurance I'm in a WhatsApp group with other doctor mums, there's about 25 of us, all with babies born in March so all about 3 months old. And the vast majority of us are feeding to sleep/having babies napping on us/in sling etc. I think there's only one girl who's baby is napping in their cot (out of 25!).

@LikeTheFruit - to be fair, the sleep chat is my fault. It’s really bothering me but I will stop harping on about it on here as it’s not fair on anyone else!

@ELW85 Exactly everything @LikeTheFruit said, basically! He’s still so young, he’s still learning, every baby will sleep differently and at their own pace. PUPD has never worked for either of my boys. And completely agree 3 months is so, so, so much time in baby land. Don’t get me wrong here you’re totally allowed to have a shit day and obsess over it, my god I’ve been there with the boys, but you are doing NOTHING wrong at all. Nothing.

@LikeTheFruit Ha they never mentioned olives haha! Although they did say give them big flavours first so I reckon olives would definitely fall in to that haha! I just feel like such a novice with weaning like I didn’t even know all food had to be cooked literally until today. Worth the £25 alone haha! Oh bless her 3 months old already! It’s crazy how fast it goes when they’re here!

Also, in our NCT group there’s 8 of us and only me and another have babies who have managed to sleep through, another did for the first time last night, the rest are waking up constantly 2-3 times a night still. And we’re all 4.5-6 month old babies!

Question - are people managing to get out and about a bit more as the restrictions are easing? I’m finding that I genuinely feel a bit fearful about going out and I can’t understand why as I’ve been craving it literally since March. People will try to make plans to meet in gardens or go for walks and I find I’m finding any excuse not to go. Like I’ve kind of been conditioned to this lockdown life?? If anyone has been off and out please share your wisdom haha. Is it as scary as I imagine??

@MrsEG - thank you for your lovely words! I’m having a fragile day but never feel alone with you guys ❤️
I’ve not arsed myself to go out. The shops aren’t appealing.
I’ve met people in parks (sounds dodgy!) but that’s been fleeting. It was fine. In my head, if he cries, I’ll figure it out but I totally get you’ve got 2 to consider!

Well here we go folks, first night in the big cot 🙂 We didn't feed to sleep either! He fed till really sleepy, was nodding off in my lap and I verrryyy gently put him in the cot and he went off completely. He has his lullabies on and a red light star projector on, the sensory stuff I've been reading said it helps. Although I think I was meant to switch it off once he's asleep... Oops! Hopefully we have an OK night 🤞

@MrsEG, the weaning class sounds really good!! I'd be really interested in what they recommend about how to gradually increase portion size... Joe cried today when he finished his mash and I didn't give him more 😂

@LikeTheFruit, I think you've got a very positive attitude! Joe is 6 months and is still fed to sleep loads and naps on me quite a bit. I love it!

@ELW85, you can always post about sleeping or whatever... We are your sounding board!! Xxx

@Fivebyfive2 have a look at your light settings - most have a timer so they switch off by themselves :) Good luck, Joe!
From memory of today it was just one meal a day 6-7 months then slowly increasing to 2, then between 9-12 months you up to three. Initially very small portions I think it was 2-4 teaspoons or tablespoons... 🙈 when I get the slides through I’ll check haha!! But she did say it was guidance and you can give as much as you like as long as they’re still drinking their milk!

Sorry @ELW85 missed your post - yeah I think that’s my main trepidation, I find they really do need two pairs of hands - if they both kick off it’s really hard work, and of course no one can come anywhere near me at the moment! So that’s the fear, as DH is working a lot now. Had a wretched bed time as Ruairí starting screaming in pain with his gums (why is teething so much worse at night?!) to the point I was constantly having to put Conor down and pause his feed to soothe Ruairí- but only for a few mins as then Conor would be screaming for his feed. I spent like a solid 30 mins basically having to choose which baby to calm. It was basically shit haha. Any who, chalk it all up to experience, I guess! Tomorrow is another day. Hope you’re feeling a bit better or at the very least have a nice glass of wine in hand x