Ttc first baby catch up with our babies!

[Fivebyfive2]

Just putting this on in case anyone wants to catch up? We're all at different stages, so might be able to help each other out?

@Delilah7 @RanchoRelaxo @MrsR16 @thumper59 @trashkitten10 @Bostonfern @crossfitgirl sorry I know I'm missing people, I'm blaming newborn brain!

I'll leave the link on the 'pregnancy' catching up thread xxx

Oh sweet I know what you mean, it's awful when they're in pain, you just want to take it all for them! I really hope you have an OK night with him xx

Today has been good, saw my parents, I think Joe got a bit hot and bothered, he perked up when he was just in his nappy! We tried him in the buggy for the first time, he seemed OK... Had a little look around and then conked out 😂

@Fivebyfive2 - ah that sounds like a lovely day!!
Has Joe napped much today? Keeping everything crossed for you for a good night! Xx

@ELW85, he had an hour late morning, an hour in the afternoon and half hour about 4.45 till 5.15. 2 were at home, fed to sleep but put in his snuzpod and the afternoon one was in the buggy. He's just gone down for the night, a weird sort of half self settle after a feed, but with his head in my lap and then I moved him to the snuzpod! We'll see how the night goes. How's Finn this evening? Xx

@MrsEG, I thought of you today and your comment about ending up with a cupboard full of Ella's kitchen pouches... My bro knows I've got her recipe book for Joe and as he works for Ocado, he brought a load of her pouches for us! I didn't have the heart to say we're trying to cook fresh as much as possible, bless him! The pouches will be a good stand in. How are the boys? Xx

@Fivebyfive2 - a nap is a nap! Get those Zzz Joe!!
Finn bless him has been a bit more settled. Couldn’t wait for his Dad to get in; full of smiles then. Big news though: I got him to sleep with no tears by walking him around (trying to avoid rocking) by distracting him with mirrors, lights, soft toys and a slumber buddy 😂
Bath time now. I always feed after the bath so he isn’t sick, so I’ll have to wake him up a bit and then hold him to sleep with slumber buddy!!
I hope you have a lovely night tonight xx

I'm so chuffed ladies! Joe did 7.30 till 12.30,quick 15 min feed, asleep 12.45 till 4am then 4.15 till 6am... Amazing 😀🎉 I'm having a party 😂 He even slept through the storm we had about 10.30; he stirred and did a few sleep screams but we put his lullabies on to cover the sound a bit and I patted him a few times and he stayed asleep...phew!! He'll probably be up all night tonight, but ah well at least we know he is capable of good night's 😛

How was everyone's evening? Xx

Morning ladies!
The boys slept through again last night - I’m actually sat here giving them 10 mins before I go and bring them down! I’m hoping that after 2 good days now that means the regression is over? Please say it is haha!

@Fivebyfive2 whoop go Joe!! I bet you feel amazing today!

@ELW85 oh hun - it could be the ‘peak’ ramping up, Jesus Conor was awful at 14/15 weeks I was officially losing it!! Hope he’s a bit better today.

@elw85 it's the Hermes man who may as well knock his way into our house! He's so loud, sets the dogs off! Always seems to come right as Freddie is napping.

@Fivebyfive2 that sounds like a lovely day 🙂
Well done joe! I've got the ellas recipes book, I cook most of Freddie's stuff fresh but I've hit a rut in what to do for him! I'm making a shepherds pie today so I'll freeze some of that for him... fajitas tomorrow but I use a pack so thinking I could just make him his own baby salsa and blend that for him so he's having the same as us? It's a right task! I hate meal planning for us 2, never mind Freddie to!! I love the ellas kitchen pouches as an option, much preferred them to any jars!

@MrsEG fingers crossed they're back to sleeping through! Freds woke up at 5:20 but was still tired so gave him his dummy and left him, he clapped his hands and rolled around for a bit then went back off until 7, so I think we have cracked the night times (for now!) he has a good hour or 2 morning nap, but afternoons he either
Completely skips, has 20 mins and sometimes a power 20-30 mins at around 4. Regardless of if he sleeps a bit or not he is always a grump come 5pm! That's his witching hour where he doesn't know what he wants so is a mix of emotions 😂. I find afternoon naps real hard with him
I've tried all sorts, I wonder if he is just a cat napper once that big morning nap sorts him out?!

Morning all!

Finn had another cracking night; from 8.50-5.50; he’s getting really consistent in his 9 hour stints as the past couple of nights have been roughly 8-5.
I’m so proud of him!
Got him into bed for a BF at 5.50 and he didn’t fall asleep (wide awake after 40 mins) and was still hungry, so did his bottle, had our usual morning chat on my legs facing me. Saw a second yawn, walked to the nursery, slumber buddy on, gentle pat, shush, walk around and out in 15 mins no tears at all!
I’m always so nervous trying to get him to sleep without food so I just need to stay consistent and then hopefully the slumber buddy will become his new sleep cue and that will send him away.
My next task for this week (not quite psychologically ready yet!) is putting him in the crib for the naps instead of on me. I’ll stay beside him, but he naps like a champ in my arms and I selfishly don’t want to screw his nights up!!
I might start shoving muslins down my bra and put them with him until he’s in a deep sleep.

@Fivebyfive2 - that’s a wonderful night!! Well done Joe 😀 are you feeling refreshed? Xx

@MrsEG - I’m hoping it’s not as bad today. I could have cried for him yesterday. He’s just such a gorgeous bubbly lad, and seeing his little shine gone kills me.
Ooh it definitely sounds like you’ve turned a corner with the regression! I can’t imagine going to wake Finn up, haha!

@thumper59 - I’ve read that the morning and lunch naps are physically and then emotionally restorative (don’t know how they worked it out!) so maybe if he’s having a bigger morning nap of 2 hours, wake him so he’s having a longer lunch nap then teatime power nap? I’d also be tempted to not fix something that’s not broken though 😂 sleep feels really fragile doesn’t it?!
Ah yeah the Hermes drivers are the worst!!!! We had a DPD guy the other day just look at Finn and say “ that’s ruined his nap then” yeah mate, you’ve practically broken the door down hence his crying!!

What are we all up to today?

@ELW85 yep our driver is the same! Then if I don't get to the door in 30 seconds he's banging on the window! Give us chance mate I've got a child and 2 dogs to navigate around and keys to find 😂. Yeah he just doesn't care for an afternoon nap at all! Just laughs at me 🙄. Sometimes he'll have a little one on me or in his pram but other then that not bothered. Yeah I like to let him kinda lead the way, been pretty chill with routines etc so far and it seems to work for him, where as my nephew is in a very strict routine and that works for him and my sister in law, horses for courses isn't it! I never wanted to get too 'set' on a routine because to be honest pre pandemic Chaos which is my daily life changes daily so it's nice that he can pretty much slot into that! We don't have any real plans, probs walk across to shops soon to get some bits for tea and we'll go for a walk around the village, what about you?

@thumper59 - totally agree! Every family, baby, situation is different and should be celebrated. It’s about finding what works for you all 😊
Might go for a little walk with Finn but feeling like a bit of a Netflix and crap food day. It’s the funeral of a friend’s little girl who’s been battling cancer for a few years so just feeling a bit meh. It’s affecting my close friend loads as it’s her best friend if you get me, but just sad by association and cuddling and kissing Finn loads as a result in amongst crying randomly.
Christ!! Didn’t mean to be a downer, sorry!

Hi all! So today I put together the nursery chair and once I've done a bit of a tidy and set a couple of bits up, we're all ready for the room move this weekend 😯

Joe had mashed potato and a bit of water from his sippy cup... He loved it! Got proper grabby when I tried to take the spoon back for a second 😂

@Fivebyfive2 - ah look!! How cute!! That chair looks great! How are you feeling about the move?

@ELW85, I'd rather he stay with us to be honest but it's probably time to at least try it! We're keeping the snuzpod in our room for a few weeks, if he's up constantly, I'll bring him back in. But maybe he'll be more settled in a bigger cot with no one to disturb him?? How are you feeling this afternoon?? Xx

@Fivebyfive2 Ahh look at him! Looks like he’s loving that! How are you finding the weaning so far?
Ah good luck with the big move! I did it early for twin/space reasons which was terrifying at the time but they love it, they sleep so, so much better with the space. No more being punched or kicked in the head by their brother! I stayed with them the first night and just slept on the floor, then I’d sleep on the landing too 🙈 but literally within a few nights of sleeping through I figured they were fine!

Oops accidental press of send there!!! @Fivebyfive2 whatever you do and however you choose to do it, I hope it all goes well!

@ELW85 Finn is sleeping great! The boys started with 9 hour stints and then dropped that 4/5am feed... I think at 12ish weeks. Fingers crossed haha! How is he doing with his reflux today?

@thumper59 Who knows with naps at that age! I have heard they drop that late afternoon cat nap first but will still have a quick morning nap and then a big lunchtime nap for a while, I wanna say until 1?? But of course, that’s in a perfect world haha! He sounds like a super chilled out baby! How are you feeling about the return to work?

We’ve had three nights now of sleeping through but also of long walks with no one kicking off! It’s been so wonderful haha. I was out for nearly 2 hours walking with them today and they were so calm and mostly slept. Haven’t had that in bloody ages!!

Hey ladies,

Not sure who to reach out to on this but as its semi anonymous here I'm hoping you can help. I know my hormones are still all over the place as I only gave birth just over 2 weeks ago but my mood has taken a nosedive these last 2 days. I thought it would have settled by now. I have moments of joy but the rest of the time I'm just letting my husband look after jack. It's like the love has been sapped out of me. I feel a bit useless and like I don't know what to do and disinterested in everything.

Did anyone else feel like this? Not sure when I should be worried about how I feel or if it's just baby blues and will pass.

My stitches are infected too so doesn't help that I'm feeling a bit battered.

@MrsEG, oh I'm sure Joe will be OK, although he'll probably still wake for feeds it is me... The thought of rolling over and having his little face there in the snuzpod 😂 I'm loving the weaning, Joe is so excited when he goes in the high chair now, it's hilarious! I'm so glad the boys are sleeping better, it's hard enough looking after 1 on no sleep, I couldn't handle 2!

@lemonysherbert, I'm so sorry to hear you're having a hard time. I don't think I had it as badly, but definitely felt really overwhelmed for the first 2 or 3 weeks and I don't think I properly settled down until I got used to dh being at work, about 6 weeks in. But it came in little waves, it wasn't constant. Can you talk about it to your partner, that might help? Your post reminded me of a thread I saw on here a couple of weeks ago, there are some really supportive comments on there and I'm sure given a bump it could be active again...

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/parenting/3912163-Life-with-new-baby-completely-overwhelmed

Don't be hard on yourself, it's such a strange time for everything right now. Can you talk to a hv or gp if you are worried? Xxx

Afternoon all!

@lemonysherbet - I don’t want to put words in anyone’s mouths, but I think we all felt bits of what you’re describing to sone degree. I posted about 2 weeks asking how long it take to recognise myself again and a lot of the ladies had experienced that. You’re sleep deprived, still recovering and adjusting to being a mother. Be kind to yourself but reach out to your GP or HV if you’re struggling.

@MrsEG - fingers crossed on dropping that feed 😂 he’s done so well today! Reflux has settled but still present and I’m not feeding to sleep!!
I hope the boys have another great night for you!

@Fivebyfive2 - I’d feel the same about the move to be fair. He might love it though!
Feeling a bit better but sleepy. Shouldn’t have pigged on choccy and Modern Family, haha!

@Lemonysherbet Hey lovely, yes I had PND; my baby blues just never went away and got worse and worse, it peaked around week 9. I’m much better now (19 weeks) but it took a while. Feel free to message me if you like, but I went to my GP. Not enormously by choice if I’m honest my DH gave me a gentle ‘nudge’ but she was wonderful with me. It honestly helped to know I wasn’t some monster who didn’t want to touch her own children and it was actually an illness and I would be okay! There is loads of help out there though so please please do access it. And just know, it will pass - it certainly did for me. Hope you’re okay xxx

@Lemonysherbet I’ve literally just re-read your post and saw you’re 2 weeks PP - for some reason I thought your baba was a bit older!! So, everything stands BUT the baby blues are at their absolute worst from about day 5 for a week or two. They really are shocking - ‘baby blues’ is such a bloody cutesy phrase for something that gut-wrenchingly horrible!! I hope it passes quickly for you lovely but like I say just keep a close eye on mood and if it doesn’t start to lift, have a chat with your GP XX

@Lemonysherbet - I second what @mrseg said about the baby blues; genuinely took me 2-3 weeks to recognise myself and start to feel human again. I think it can happen to everyone but I had a traumatic Labour too which added to it I think.
We’re here but please keep talking to your support network and health care team.

Thank you all.

@Fivebyfive2 I've posted on that thread, it's a really useful read thank you.

@elw85 @MrsEG thank you both. I think sometimes you just need someone else to tell you it's ok to feel low. It's still so early which is why I'm unsure if how I'm feeling is normal. I felt so much love for jack so early on and it's just waivered a bit today which has made me worry. And then the infection and piles have topped me off.

I also had quite a traumatic labour which I think has affected me more than I realised. I felt like I was delusional for the first week post birth. How I looked after him on my own for 4 days in hospital is beyond me!

I'll speak to my husband when I feel stronger. Currently I cry if I try talk about anything serious.

Thank you for all replying so quickly too 💕

@Lemonysherbet - you’re welcome! I did the same with Finn for 3 nights alone in hospital and felt awful. When I got home I was a sleep deprived mess and actually avoided joining this group as I felt like it would only be me that felt low and that everyone else would be smashing it. But I wasn’t alone and it passed.
Please just keep checking in with us!

@Lemonysherbet No worries at all, it really is so tough. I spent a total of 7 days in hospital, 4 of them alone with twins; one afternoon I was found wandering the corridors just crying my eyes out lactating through my shirt. I honest to god don’t even remember doing it. I hadn’t abandoned the boys - my sister had come to ‘visit’ (check up on me) and I’d just told her I was going for a wee. Honestly - these so called baby blues fuck with your brain!!
It’s so, so tough those first few weeks; I know everyone says it, and it is true - even though it sorta goes in one ear and out the other at the time! - but just take care of yourself. Look after that scar; rest as much as DH schedule allows. Drink lots and lots of water, nap/sleep when and where you can while DH watches baby, etc, even if it’s for 15 mins. It’s little things - even if you just nail one a day, say today you have a big pint of water before bed, it starts to make the difference. It does get better, so much better. I remember telling DH there was no way in this world I could ever look after these twins on my own, I’m not capable, I didn’t get the rush of love, I’m not cut out for this - and I’m here 19 weeks later doing it. It will come - and if it doesn’t, there is so much help available. Huge big love to you tonight xx

@Lemonysherbet I'm sorry you're having such a tough time. I had days in the hospital where I would burst into tears whenever a midwife asked me how I was doing. It continued for a week or two continued after I came home and spoke to DH (especially due to the breastfeeding). One night I got really frustrated by it all because Alayna couldn't latch on and just kept crying, so I was crying. I just passed her off to DH and went to a different room. DH bottle fed through the night instead and I slept in the spare room to get a break (after calling my mum bawling because I felt guilty for needing a break from Alayna).
It's a big adjustment looking after a baby, especially after going through a traumatic birth. Plus all the exhaustion and hormones flying, we're bound to get overwhelmed. It's good that you've recognised how you're feeling. Definitely speak to your DH when you can do so he can keep an eye on you as well. Hopefully it will get better! As the others have said there is lots of help available should you need it Xx

@MrsEG the boys are doing brilliantly! Hope this means they are out of regression and you are all back to sleeping through the night! 😊
I still haven't ventured out with the pram - it's either been too sunny or raining really heavily!

@ELW85 ah amazing! 9 hour stretches are the dream - go Finn! Also looks like you're doing a good job with the sleep training, well done!

@Fivebyfive2 aww looks like weaning has gone off to a good start!
Good luck with the room move! I'm sure it'll be weird not having him next to you, but I hope it goes well and he loves it

So Alayna has done well with her day naps yesterday and today. The rocking chair has been a godsend. She falls asleep straight away when we sit on it. Also accidentally found out that walking up and down the stairs puts her to sleep; went downstairs (with her on my shoulder) to get formula as she was still crying for a feed and when I got back upstairs she was knocked out 😂
She's been sleeping really well for the past week as well - 9/9:30 bedtime - 7:30am with two wake ups for night feeds. I'm going to try a dreamfeed tonight around 11, so she only wakes up once instead.

She's becoming so chatty the last few days, it's been so lovely to watch. I love having conversations with her and getting her responses and smiles 😍
She has also started loving bath time now, where she would previously scream the house fine. So I think I'm going to start incorporating them into her bedtime routine!

Being cautiously optimistic that I'm starting to get the hang of things but don't want to jinx it, as something always happens when I feel like I'm figuring things out! 🙈😂

Hope you all had a lovely day 😊