The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #3

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 3 mamas

@cardboard33 it's the worst age! I was literally saying this earlier because I'm gonna have to take him into work with me for a few hours every day from Monday (office of only 3 people so can social distance) and I've not idea how I'm going to keep him entertained!

For those saying this is the difficult age for entertaining their little ones. Maybe we're just in a tiny good phase, but A is the best he's ever been honestly. Finally happy to play on his own for a bit. He can spend 15 minutes with plastic drawers. He just pulls them out, puts things in and out. Stands up against them. Drums on them. He also doesn't always screech whenever I leave the room! Maybe you're just a week from this stage!

@sheeni that's true, I'm lucky in the sense that mine has always been able to entertain himself but I guess I feel like I need to play with him at least some of the time. How often do you guys go out with your babies? As we have something on every morning and most afternoons we meet up with friends who live in walking distance, so we don't spend more than an hour or two a day being just "at home" meaning this isolation all day every day for 84 days at least is driving me crazy and I've still got 79 days to go.... How you can self isolate from a baby when you're the main carer is beyond me, though.

@melissa112 I have also been thinking about you, hope you and G are doing ok.

@BadBadBeans I'm sorry to hear your surgery date has been pushed back, I know a lot of people in that position (also postponed radio/chemo etc) and that must really hurt as you've mentally prepared yourself for it happening. Like you said though, hopefully they'll be able to find space quicker if they don't need to find you an actual bed for the night. Fortunately my hospital has decided to continue with all of theirs just with some adaptions so my next one at least will go ahead as planned.

@cardboard33 same. Sonny would probably play on his own all day quite happily but I just feel like I should do stuff ha.

He's in nursery 3 days a week and with my mum for 1 because of work, so the day we have off together we're always out. Even if it's just me pushing the pram round the Trafford Centre. Weekends are the same - meeting friends or he's at his dads.

He's the most sociable little baby and at the end of this he'll have seen no one but me for 3 months.

He literally jumps out my arms at nursery because he loves it there and screams with joy when he sees my mum.

I'm just terrified as to what child I'm going to have when this is all over.

It's genuinely the first time I've actually felt like a "single mum" because under normal circumstances I have a huge family and some amazing friends

@BadBadBeans and @cardboard33 aw thank you for thinking of me. As expected my anxiety is a lot worse for being stuck in the house. Was due to start back at work on the 24th but took 2 weeks more annual leave to look after G. Apparently me and DP are both key workers due to the industries we work in. I'm an analyst so can't see how?! G's nursery was open to key workers but has since closed completely, as have all other nurseries in the area.

I'm due to work from home once my leave is up to look after G and work will reassess in a few weeks. Nursery called to say they wont be open until September. Hoping my work let me work from home til it reopens rather than force me to look out of the area. I hate my job. I've been waking up in a panic each day, feeling like I don't want to be here at all some days. Which feels completely selfish given everything going on in the world.

@BadBadBeans I'm sorry to hear your surgery will be cancelled, I really hope you're able to get a slot as soon as things start to look brighter with not needing an overnight stay. What a disappointment after the wait but fingers crossed it will be a distant memory soon xx

@cardboard33 I'm glad to hear your treatment will go ahead as planned. 12 weeks is a long time to isolate, especially hard if you are used to be out most of the day. The baby sensory class I went to is now doing online classes. They give you a list of things you need and do the class through the tv or laptop. Maybe something like that would help?

I'm feeling the struggle being indoors all but one hour of the day. We used be out most of the day too. Now we are just doing a walk round where we live for an hour each day.

We rarely see anyone but like @WhatALearningCurve I'm really starting to be concerned about G's social development. He loves people and was always on the lookout for someone to say hello to him. He hasn't seen anyone but me and DP for 2 weeks. If his nursery stays closed for months and I'm WFH then I worry he will become wary of strangers. I know there's a good reason for all this so trying to stay positive.

Oh and he is now trying to drop his afternoon nap. From what I've read it is too early for this but try telling him that. The issue with this is that he kicks off and screams and refuses the nap but then gets cranky and upset from 5PM onwards til bed at 7. He sleeps through til 6:30am ish so I'm not complaining but he just seems so miserable from late afternoon onwards!

Sorry if I've missed anything, trying to reply before we get out for our walk. Take care everyone and stay safe xx

@melissa112 we tried just one nap for about 5 days. Today we went back to 2. Had a little bit of complaining and the second nap was short, but as you say, he was just getting overtired. And his naps as well as nighttime sleep were getting shorter. I think it's just a phase. I read about it quite a bit and everywhere it says only a very small % of babies naturally drop the second nap before 15 months old. So I'm gonna try to get as close to that as I can with two naps. Might be easier now that he won't go to the childminder for God knows how long.

Honestly. I can see he's already bored of my face. It'll only get worse. It's so much harder not being able to do even playdates. I'm sure it will make his development slower. Oh well, it's not like we can do anything about that. 🤷🏼‍♀️ The digital classes/playdates/whatever is not the same thing I think.

I've also been wondering what the impact will be on my baby's development but as they're literally all in the same boat then I think it will even out in the end. It's funny as we were really hoping he would walk at the start of this month whereas now I'm thinking that the longer he doesn't walk properly the better it is as it's not like we can get him any shoes. Likewise, I'm hoping he maintains his twice daily nap schedule for as long as possible now... How things have changed!!

@melissa112 I'd imagine that you'd be able to wfh until your nursery reopens as these are unprecedented times and there's no point in a young baby going somewhere for a few months and then be uprooted again, causing distress, just so you can go to work if you can easily do your job from home. It's not like G is nearly school age and used to being with strangers. Do many of your colleagues have kids? I've found that empathy and flexibility generally is higher where there's a lot of kids.

Our baby sensory is also online and whilst it's good for me, I don't think my baby gets as much out of it as in the sessions normally he'd crawl around the room, shout/babble and generally dance around whilst also listening to the activities and he now can't really do that so I've found that I do the activities and he just is off playing with something else. We've also got a touch screen laptop which is annoying as he touches the screen to "feel" people and then ends up turning the platform off etc. But I am very thankful for all of these online classes - has anyone found others that they'd reccommend? We've been doing the tumble tots one but it's generally for older toddlers but they have a baby one at 3pm on Weds, although it's aimed at younger babies than ours. Busy Lizzy have also gone completely online (£20 a month) so that's also a good option for people who are looking for fitness for them and also classes for baby but don't have a physical club in their area.

@WhatALearningCurve sorry you've started to feel like a single mum, that can't be easy. I know you are technically (I don't mean that in a bad way) but as you've said you're really not with your extended family, so please don't feel like you're alone as support comes in so many ways and doesn't have to just be from mum or dad. What are the contact agreements with his dad, is he still getting to see him, if he did previously?

@cardboard33 he's currently back living at his mums who had a hip replacement 6 months ago and his step dads in his 70 so they're both vulnerable so I didn't feel right with Sonny going back and forth to his.

Told him he can come over here and take him for a walk and stuff but it all depends on if / when he can borrow a car off someone as he lives about 40 mins away. (I basically was in a relationship and fell pregnant with an adult and the second I got pregnant he turned into a man child who acts about 17 )

I'm feeling a lot better today. Had a family Zoom yesterday and then last night I used House Party to talk to a group of friends whilst breaking into my stockpile of wine! Had a rough head this morning but I hadn't realised how much I needed it (the socialising and the wine ha)

@WhatALearningCurve I really feel for you although I did laugh at your "I was in a relationship with an adult and the minute I got pregnant he turned into a man child" comment, hehe. Sonny sounds like he's got a quality mum and extended family to compensate for his man child father.

We've been doing a lot more connecting with people who we wouldn't normally speak to on such a regular basis too - I guess that's one benefit of the lockdown!

What are people's plans for the weekend? It's forecast to be very sunny (at least in London) ... I'm trying to persuade my husband that we should have a BBQ (he doesn't like them) so we shall see.

I hope you're all doing ok in this difficult time x

Just to add to the absolute carnival that is life right now.

We've got chicken pox!

Hey how is everyone doing ? Re the lock down . I am still at work as I work in the hospital. My ward has been turned into a covid ward so looking after the positives. I am off this week . It's been an awful time as I just dont feel 100% protected. Such a scary time . So hard to have to stay in as well . Feel so sorry for little one . She must be so bored. Trying our best to entertain her too !!

Quick question- has anyone who's breastfeeding had there period come and then disappear again . My period come back and now it seems to have gone again. Been getting period pains but just no period.

@Jenlou1992 I'm sorry you're not feeling protected at work. That must be so scary. I really hope you and yours will be OK. Sending virtual hugs.

Re: period. I still breastfeed, got my period on New year's for the first time. It was so late this month I actually used like 3 tests to check if I'm not pregnant again 😱 I guess it's the stress of current situation?

Otherwise we're good so far. I'm lucky that my husband has been furloughed, as he's doing the childcare on the days when I'm working. Or attempting to work. It's been really hard to get into the working mindset. Everything is just a bit clunky and that includes me. I'm just grateful that I still have a job in any case.
We're just dealing with some post-MMR-jabs fever. Would be easier if A didn't suddenly decide he hates to take medicine. Rarely had an issue before, now we have to basically pin him down and force feed him Calpol.

Hi all,

@jenlou1992 sorry to hear that you don't feel safe at work... I've heard that from so many NHS staff (I seem to know lots), it's really sad.

I had to stop breast feeding around Christmas and got a very light period a couple of days after stopping which really surprised me. I then had a VERY HEAVY one in mid Jan, then my cycle has ranged between 25 days and 35 days since then. It was 31 days before I got pregnant. My other friends who are breast feeding said theirs has also returned but is different to how it used to be, so maybe it will just be like this until you stop completely? Or @sheeni is probably correct in that it might be different because you're stressed/anxious at the moment. How are things with Rose's dad?

@WhatALearningCurve sorry to hear you've got chickenpox.... I guess at least it's out of the way and he won't have to have time out of nursery for it! how has he managed to catch it though if he hasn't seen anyone?!

Hi everyone,

I can’t believe I haven’t been on here for over a year! I was active in the Marchers 2019 pregnancy threads and then I had my son and everything went crazy! I don’t even think I posted his birth on here. I can’t catch up with all the previous comments obviously 😂 but I hope you’re all doing well. Babies, well toddlers, are doing well ☺️

So my son Noah was born 16/3/19 at 6.46pm, weighing 8lbs6oz by emergency c-section. I had a really really long labour, really tough labour and ended up having every possible failed help possible in getting him out. He was born with suspected sepsis so we were both in hospital for a week on IV antibiotics twice a day for 30 mins. Then when we got home I started having really bad attacks and kept getting readmitted to hospital (hemotoma, infections etc). Then after a few months they finally found out I had gallstones I’d developed during pregnancy so at 5 months PP I went in for gallbladder surgery. Also been diagnosed with cervical stenosis, waiting an MRI and Neurology appointment for that.

Noah also had a difficult time, he was readmitted for suspected sepsis at a few months old and treated in hospital again. He also had some fluid on his brain which we found out after a lot of fighting for an MRI because his head circumference was always big. Plus he had a heart murmur which is still being monitored.

But fast forward to now & we have a happy, walking, talking one year old. He’s bloody brilliant, loves to eat, play, dance and cuddle. Still sleeps in our room but finally getting him into his own cot in here (co slept for a while, after he outgrew his next to me and sleepyhead) which I know isn’t advised but worked for us. Was formula fed from a few days old because my milk just didn’t come in & he had tongue tie which he’s had snipped now. Don’t regret it at all, very glad we made the decision to switch to formula as early as we did. Meant I could actually get some sleep!

Sorry for such a long post but yeah, it’s been a year or more! Hope you’re all well.. hope to be back on here a bit more now xxx

26/3/19* xxx

Hope everyone's getting on okay and isn't going out of their minds too much with the lockdown!

George is now having a proper nap during the day for the first time ever! (Tough wood!) However, he will not sleep without a bottle. I feel like we've let this slide in order to get him to sleep and now we've created a different rod for our backs.
He drinks out of a 360 cup during the day and we've cut him down to 4x bottles a day max! 6oz when he wakes up (we're planning on cutting that out next week), 8oz before his 11am nap, 8-10oz as he goes to sleep and then 6-8oz if he wakes up during the night.
My question is, has anyone managed to wean their LOs off bottles and if so, how? 😊 x

@AssumeItWasSomethingClever the daytimes bottles E dropped on his own accord. He refused them more and more and I got sick of the waste of money so I stopped offering them.

Night time ones I just started watering down so less formula more water. He had a couple of nights of just water but tbh doesn't even look for a bottle now if he wakes up. Just has a cuddle and goes back to sleep (most of the time. I bet I've jinxed it now!).

How did you get him to use a 360 cup? E loves the trainer supper cups from Tommee Tippee but when I try him with the 360 I feel like his mouth isn't big enough to put pressure on the seal?

Losing the will to live here people . Work is horrendous as I am working on the covid ward and every night shift is so depressing . Been doing more hours as they are short. Then rose is 13 months next week . Past 2 weeks she has been off her food. Refusing to eat more than 3 spoons . Today she wouldn't have her afternoon nap so she had been awake since 10am ish after her morning nap and then when I put her to bed at 7.15 ...well she has woke up every 40 mins since . Her sleeping is just so bad . It has never been good but I'm truly losing my shit now. Fed up and exhausted . She has a bottle and we give her it when she wakes the first couple of times but then it's just rocking her to sleep . Sometimes it takes 5 mins sometimes it takes 45 mins . Had enough . Any suggestions . Tried a sleep plan someone sent me on here but we both wasnt sticking to it as he didnt think it was working so I just give up. Feel like leaving her to cry and sitting in the garden for an hour . Honestly so fed up now. Sorry for sounding so miserable . X

@jenlou992

Have you tried leaving her? I don't mean indefinitely and obviously you know your child. But sometimes E will wake at around 4am and when I go into him, he'll go to sleep after a cuddle. But the minute I put him down he'll wake up. He wants to be held but without sounding horrid. I'm not being awake from 4am just holding him - I'm on my own and I wouldn't be able to function the next day if he made a habit of it. He cries for about 10 minutes on and off then goes back to sleep no issue.

Is it possible she knows you're going to come in so that's her way of getting attention?

Other than that - E is coming up to 14 months and we went through a stage a few weeks ago where within 2 hours of him going down he was siting not upright and just screaming like a banshee. Absolutely nothing I was doing would help - it was like he was having night terrors so maybe it's a leap they go through?

@Jenlou1992 that last post was for you! Unsure who I actually tagged!

@WhatALearningCurve thanks for the advice. We're trying diluting formula but I guess it's too early to tell yet!
The 360 cup, he did struggle to get anything out of it for a week or so then all of a sudden he seemed to learn how to work it. Sorry I can't be of any more use as I don't know how he managed either to be honest!

@Jenlou1992 Sounds like you're having a rough time. Don't worry about sounding miserable, everyone has their moments and it sounds like you're going through the ringer with work. I can't imagine...!
There is a 1 year sleep regression (apparently 🙄). I can't give any advice I'm afraid as my LOs sleep isn't great either. Just wanted to say hang in there! X

I've not had any notifications again :(

@CaseofEllen Hi! Sounds like you've had a difficult journey with Noah, but what a difference a year makes - glad he's doing better!

@Jenlou1992 I think the others might be on to something about Rose doing it because she knows you'll come in... Mine and other babies I know of this age are also like that (also deliberately dropping soft toys etc out of the cot whilst you're in the room) apparently they go through another bout of separation anxiety between 12-15ish months as mine has also been a lot more clingy. Like others it can become a game unless you cut the game short by not going in, and then he usually cries for a bit then goes back to sleep. But yeah, we are also struggling as it's gone from being able to put him down and shut the door to playing games for about two hours in the evening. We are also starting the transition into one nap a day, although he still seems to need a power nap for 20-30 mins around 8/8.30 to get him through to 1pm without drama. He went through a phase about a month ago of having a 4 hour nap in the morning and then nothing in the afternoon, he also put on a kilo and gained loads of new skills within about 2 weeks so presumably the sleeping was linked?

You're also doing an amazing job so please don't feel down hearted. I assume Rose is going to nursery of some kind whilst you're at work? Or are you still with your partner? I think we'd all be tired and exhausted even without a baby after working nights on a covid ward so you've definitely got grounds to moan. Also providing she's safe then feel free to go and cry in the garden for a bit, she's not going to die and would likely just self settle herself given time.

@WhatALearningCurve we've moved off bottles... I just gave him his milk in a TT cup one day as a trial and he took it, so then did the morning milk on the following day etc and that was that ... Sorry that's not more helpful!! We were expecting it to be a lot more painful.

@assumeitwassomethingclever after you said it - I gave him the 360 cup again and it's worked a dream. The sippee cup was obviously just a good intermediate!

Next step is using the 360 cup instead of the sippee cup for bedtime milk - but I think I'll give myself a few weeks before I try that haha.

How is everyone doing?