The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #3

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 3 mamas

Not sure how different areas do it - but Sonny has his 9 month assessment on Wednesday - he'll be just over 9 months so it's come through on time which was unexpected. Feel like I should have done some revision or something with him though ha. Has anyone else got theirs scheduled?

I keep getting so behind on my replies to this and I'm nowhere near as organised as Melissa with her notes!

@melissa112 George sounds so cute, also keep thinking of his poo protests at random times of the day. I hope mine doesn't start doing that given we've already got enough poos going on in the day. How are you getting on with the play pen issue? You asked about the eczema/allergy. We went for the allergy testing and he isn't allergic so it's just bog standard eczema fortunately. Did you go to the doctors about George?

@sheeni thanks :) I've been really good this week at keeping him off me during the day by wearing bf unfriendly clothes (long tunic tops etc) and distraction. I'm now also starting to worry that when I do feed him in the night that he isn't getting enough as my supply has diminished so much as I've been doing things like not drinking as much water (I usually drink loads and always have done) to reduce my supply. I've started offering a top up bottle too, so hopefully that's a start of another transition. I'm feeling more positive now he's well and hasn't gone completely backwards.

@brobot I've been thinking the same about the not crawling thing although really hope he starts soon as he's doing it in his sleep and he wakes me up about 8-10 times a night screaming. I'm not sure if he wakes up all of those times as he's got his eyes shut a lot and he's also ready and raring to go at 7am.

@Jenlou1992 as above, mine is also up a lot in the night screaming. I think he could be having nightmares as sometimes it doesn't feel like he's awake when we go in. The wonder weeks app had this as one of the last leap stages (nightmares and trouble sleeping, I mean) so we are comforting ourselves with that although he should be out of the other side around about now. I think yours is a similar date, it's based on due date rather than actual birthday (there's over 3 weeks difference for us) so we were due towards the end of March.

@WhatALearningCurve we had a letter in the post about a 9-12 month review, which is apparently actually the one year review and they want to do it once he's 11 months. We don't have anything until then which is good as hopefully he will actually be crawling and showing "skillz" by then beyond standing up constantly. He's very very nearly doing it unaided now, he just holds on to my scarf or top with his little finger.

@cardboard33 yeah I have the wonder weeks app and it has been pretty accurate so far but wow this is a bad month .... to add to the bad month my LO is now poorly ...again
Took her to see a Dr Saturday as her chest sounded awful ( I was actually doing a one off shift at work before I officially go back in January so I was running back and to the waiting room where my partner was with her for 3 hours)

Dr was not concerned about her chest but did say she had a red ear and looks like she had an ear infection ... She is on antibiotics and he said if her chest was to get bacterial then it would cover that too . Just can't believe he wasn't fussed about it . She sounds really bad . The nights have been really bad but I am not bothered as I know she is poorly at the moment and needs comforting .

Got her to bed at 7am tonight which is a miracle as it's been 11pm + past few nights. Really hope she starts to feel better soon.

After my shift at work I definatley don't feel ready to leave her . Was a poor experience as she was ill so I shouldn't use that as a true reflection but I just hated it .

How is everyone doing ?

Little one started nursery last week. He loves it so much it's almost insulting but I am aware the alternative is an unhappy child so I've definitely got the better option.

He's had really bad nappies overnight. Worse I've seen so far. Just a lot of brown water (sorry for the TMI). He's no fever and absolutely fine in himself so just trying to keep his fluids up and hoping it's just a tooth coming through. I am not looking forward to the pile of washing I've got now though - it's on everything. During the night it even came through his sleeping bag

All gone quiet on here . Is everyone set for Christmas ?

Just trying to get rose of the boob only through the night just to prepare for when I go back to work on nights.

Any tips for doing this welcome . She doesn't really take a feed from a bottle . She just suckles for a minute then not interested.

@Jenlou1992 how is rose feeling now? Is she getting better? How is her sleeping? We are also getting our baby off the breast atm as we've only got 2 weeks left now tbh it's been easier as he's always been fine drinking milk from bottles and breast but we have noticed he's getting a lot more clingy and crying more this week which may be because he's not had the comfort of me. I'd say you've got to persevere with the bottle as they're now clever enough to know that if you give in after X amount of time then that's all they need to do in order to get what they want, and why should she take something she doesn't want if she knows you'll ultimately cave? Do you have someone else who can feed her the bottle in the night so they don't have the option of alternatives? Where is your partner atm? Is he still working away? What about your mum, although I remember you said she was ill? Who will looking after Rose when you're at work? Can they do it?

Definitely not ready for Christmas! We never are though although feels like we've done more this year than we normally have, maybe because I've been off work so can go and collect things/be in for deliveries etc.

@whatalearningcurve so glad your little one is enjoying nursery! Maybe it's the luxury of different toys etc and whilst you're upset he's not missing you, I think that's probably a testament to how you've raised him if he's happy left with "strangers" -- maybe the nappy thing is because he's aware that things are different, even if he's visibly ok about it?

@Jenlou1992 So not ready for Christmas this year. We don't even have the tree up yet. We had to unexpectedly travel due to death in family, so barely managed to do a tidy up so far. The travel messed up LOs sleep a bit, too. Mastitis, antibiotics and stress didn't really help either.

He's dropped his feeds himself, although he picked one of them back again recently. Honestly, it was bit of crying-it-out to drop the feeds. We knew he should be able to go 4 hours without a feed at night, so if he woke up and cried before then, we would leave him for a bit to see if he settles, then just kept saying the cue word every 5-10 minutes (for us it was night-night), but I simply wouldn't feed him before the 4 hours was up. It was a fairly long process for us, but he did drop the feeds eventually. It can be accelerated apparently, by simply dragging it out with the cue word etc for longer, but it depends on how well you cope with some crying, to be honest. I know I sound heartless, but it worked for us and he's such a happy, cuddly boy since the sleep training. And don't get me wrong, I'm always close to tears myself whenever I have to leave him crying even for a little bit.

@Cardboard33 nappy issue is still ongoing - it's down to one a day though rather than the multiple overnight ones I've had all week. He's absolutely fine in himself still, eating and drinking normally, although seems to be having a bit more milk than usual. I'm hoping there's another tooth about to come through, if not I'm going to speak to a doctor after Christmas.

In a moment of mum bragging - the girl who leads the baby room at nursery told me on Friday that she can't believe how incredibly social Sonny is and that he's really good with the other babies. Apparently he interacts with them really well and wants to actively include them in what he's doing / be included in what they're doing. I wanted to cry I was that proud of him!

Hows everyone getting on? Did you all have a nice Christmas?

@WhatALearningCurve that's so lovely and you're right to be proud of him, he sounds like a lovely little boy.

Things here are going well. LO, well not so little anymore, is doing really well. Cruising around the living room and getting into mischief is his favourite thing. He's very confident, sometimes overconfident so we've had a couple of head bumps! He's still not dropping his milk even though he eats 3 meals a day and seems to be eating a lot. He loves food. We did think he was starting to drop from 8oz, only taking 6 sometimes at each feed so we started to just make 5x7oz a day. Now sods law he is draining 7oz and whinging at the end of them for more. It seems counter productive at this stage to up it again? Hes 10 months in just under 2 weeks so I feel like 35oz a day is too much now but I dont know what to do. How is everyone else doing with milk feeds?

Hope you're all well

I wrote a long message on here then lost it, gah.

@melissa112 we have 20-22oz per day (inc 5oz of expressed) plus 3 meals and snacks such as bananas. Have you spoken to the HV? Do they have any concerns? I suppose as long as he's maintaining his weight curve then it's fine, although I think they need to start being weaned off formula around the one year mark?

How was everyone's Christmas, if you celebrate it? It's good to be back in our routine, put it that way! Did make me realise how much we won't be able to do for a few years until the babies are older though! Not that we really did anything but it's good to have the option!!

@Cardboard33 we had a lovely Christmas thank you, how was yours? We didn't get too much for LO with maternity pay now at an end and luckily we didn't because his favourite thing was the stacking cups he got in his Christmas stocking for about two quid. The 'bigger' presents are completely ignored in favour of these cups and some wooden blocks haha. Yeh I know what you mean about having to adjust what you do. We have been invited to a wedding in April that's about an hour drive away, just the evening event. I don't want to leave him overnight so not sure what to do and no kids invited!

I did ring the HV yesterday and she advised to do food before milk now to try and bring the milk down a bit. Weve done that today and he has still drank all.the bottles. Typical! He's 50 percentile weight and 75 height so is quite slim. I'm not too worried but selfishly I dont want to be faffing with formula when he's 1, the sterilising and washing of bottles etc isn't something I'll miss.

Sounds like your LO is doing amazing with his eating, how is is cruising going?

We've had similar with the presents, he's just played with everything he had pre Christmas and left everything new, but hopefully he will get used to it. We didn't really buy much new, most of it was from charity shops etc but obviously the grandparents got him "proper" presents. We've left them at their house as we were on the train so he's going to have to refind them again, haha.

We still aren't crawling!! He will do it for a couple of meters of he really really wants to, but by and large we are still at the same stage as we were a few months ago. We think now he will just move on to walking. We've got his 12 month review in early Feb so hopefully he will be doing something greater than he is doing now for that!! Fortunately they take into account that he was born early so he won't look too poor in comparison, but it'd still be good for his sake of he were properly on the move by then.

@Cardboard33 same here with no crawling. Elliot is 10 months today. He his trying his hardest though lol but when he tries to reach forward to crawl he slides backwards and gets super pissed off 🤣. Bless. I do worry a bit when I see how much other babies even younger than him can do, I can't help it. But on the other hand, I've noticed that he seems a lot more capable in terms of other things, like clapping, waving etc. He's been clapping since about 5 months. He also seems to understand everything I'm saying! And the babies who I've noticed doing more physically seem less alert, if that makes sense? Also, it's totally my own fault that he isn't more mobile. I've been an overly "hands on" mum which I only realised when I started visiting other people with babies his age more. I've been so concerned with him hurting himself and haven't given him enough time to practise, I think. So now I'm trying to make up for it and give him more space.

One thing that is stressing me a bit is how he refuses to feed himself finger food. He has been in a "throw absolutely everything" phase for a while now so although I know he can, he just chucks everything. Then opens his mouth for me to put the food in 🤦‍♀️. The only reason it worries me is because when he was 7 months and I was speaking to the day care, they asked about him drinking out of a cup and I said he can't hold it himself, and they said "at 7 months??". So now at 10 months he still won't! When I put food in front of him to let him try he just chucks it! Lol

@Brobot 😂 mines the same with the food. He looks like a snapping turtle because he doesn't move his body, just his head forward to get the food. I call him Little Lord Fauntleroy. I figure he'll get there eventually so I'm not worrying about it too much

@Brobot we are also over 10 months... Where has the time gone?! That's amazing your baby has been clapping since 5 months... We still aren't doing that either, haha. He does a lot of jumping/dancing and is very into spinning things with his fingers (we got him an activity box like they have in doctors waiting rooms for Christmas) and he basically sits on his own playing with that for 10+ mins at a time, then moves onto the next spinning thing (its kinda like this www.johnlewis.com/john-lewis-partners-my-first-activity-cube/p4823087) and just goes round and round the cube. He's also started pulling himself into standing and also standing up independently without support over Christmas so I imagine they all just develop the skills they find most useful first... Clearly I've got a serious solitary child so he must take after his dad.

Mine also isn't holding a cup to drink from... I don't actually know any babies that are so not sure how the nursery expected him to be able to do it with one month practice?! He has a Tommy Tippee cup which we hold for him to drink from, otherwise he can't hold it due to the weight.

How is everyone with going back to work, if you're going back over the next few weeks? @jenlou1992 when do you start back at work? I don't envy you at all. I think the fact that I'm not going back until the end of 2020 at the earliest has made me more complacent as I know he doesn't need to do things just yet because that's what they want at nursery .... He's probs gonna start when he's almost 2 and they'll be like what the hell is this creature you've dragged in off the streets?!

@Cardboard33 well the reason he has been clapping so long is because from very early he used to laugh hysterically when I clapped his hands lol so he was chuffed when he could do it himself lol. The health visitor said they don't look for that until 12 months so I felt a bit cocky.. Until I realised he was never going to do anything else 🤣🤣. Oh, and the spinning! He spins EVERYTHING lol. Since we started putting him in his jumparoo he now loves spinning anything lol. You have made me feel better about holding the cup. At the time I felt really shit when she made the "at 7 months??" comment, but I've seen few who can do it. The only thing that stresses me about daycare is how he will nap for them. He still snuggled up to me and nurses off to sleep. A couple of months ago it looked like he was self weaning and I was like yaaaay but then he got the cold and turned back into a newborn 🤦‍♀️. It's amazing that your little man is standing unsupported! This wee dude is going nowhere in a hurry lol. I don't know whether size has anything to do with it.. All the more petite babies I see seem to be a lot more physically capable, but Elliot is very tall so I reckon he gets in his own way 🤣. Bless him. I'm due to start back to work on 9th March. Dreading. It. Mainly because I met with them to discuss my return and there were some very heated words with the owner (she is an older wealthy woman who does nothing but sit and moan in my ear all day about her "terrible daughter" - it drives me to insanity. And she is only interested in talking about herself so she managed to balls up the beginning of my maternity - hence the heated words). I then had to ask if I could go part time and am yet to be given a decision, even though I asked in November! It's all very awkward. Needless to say I'm keeping my eyes open for a different/better job.

This was quite the ramble I've just noticed lol. My bad.

@Brobot I wouldn't worry about him napping at daycare. He'll find his own way there, especially without you being around (I mean that in a nice way!). The people that work there are the professionals and they'll have dealt with babies that have the most specific napping needs and I'm sure your little one will find his new normal there - and will still want his cuddles when you're around!

@Brobot try not to worry if you can, I read that babies will focus on what is important to them. So with each development leap they are able to learn to do something, I.e. crawl, clap, say baba or whatever but they will just focus on certain things. Like a more movement focused baby will focus on crawling whereas a baby who values the social/relationship things more (not sure if those are the right words for it) will focus on the clapping and waving sort of things?

George has only been clapping for a month or so and doesn't wave despite our best efforts, your LO is doing amazing. G has always been more focused on the movement aspects throughout each leap. He pushes his bike up against the sofa and uses it to try to climb up and pushes his walker thing around the room. I think they just have a preference and he clearly doesn't think that focusing on his understanding of me and his daddy is worth doing haha.

That's annoying that your boss hasnt made a decision on whether you can go back part time. Have you chased it up or have they told you they aren't sure? Also worrying about napping at nursery here. I've got into a really bad habit of cuddling him while he sleeps for both naps. I guess I just love that he actually wants to cuddle at that time whereas when he is awake he just wants to be on the floor causing mischief. I think he probably would go down in the cot as he is fine at night but whenever I've tried in the day he wakes after half an hour and wont go back down whereas when he sleeps on me he sleeps for about 90mins so I know he needs it. I guess as @WhatALearningCurve has found will be the same for us, they will find their own way at nursery.

@Brobot & @cardboard33 we use a free flow cup which he does hold but when we've tried an open cup we just end up with water all over the floor and a soggy tray so I don't bother as much. Could you offer the cup with the tiniest smidge of water in it so if it does go everywhere at least it's not going to soak everything or be too heavy? I might try that now I've thought of it.

@cardboard33 I am absolutely dreading going back to work. Before I left for maternity I wasnt planning on going back. DP was confident we could manage but turns out babies are expensive 🤣 so yeh I'm going back on 24th March. Even though I still have a couple of months I'm finding myself dreaming of it most nights and started getting very anxious. I hated it while I was there, it made me miserable, it was always so full of pressure and I was very down. I'm also dreading leaving George as i know i will hate to be away from him after so long. If I think about it then I get teary or on some occasions full on sobbing! Luckily they have allowed me to go back part time 3 days a week so I guess I cant complain. I cant believe your LO is standing up unaided, that's amazing! He'll be pottering around before long!

I think from what people are saying everyone here is with a partner but are there any other single mums in this group?

Hi sorry not caught up on the thread for a while .

Just started back at work Monday . Do my first night shift on Friday, then as of next week I have set shifts which will be Monday night Wednesday 7-3 and Friday night . Still not got rose on the bottle at night but she has the past 4-5 nights been only have one feed at around 4am so I am just going to go home on my break and feed her . Some might think I'm crazy but I think it will work for me and then when she's around 10 months I will offer her water as I don't think from a nutritional point of view she actually needs it .

My LO is getting around everywhere . Crawling so fast . Standing up against furniture. I put her near the stairs the other day to see if she could climb them and she can haha. So we won't be doing that again .

Me and my partner have been having some terrible rows. I am actually at the end of my tether and contemplating calling it a day . I am not happy and he wont get help . Really have persevered but can't ever see it working . We have only had the house a year . I can't afford to live here on my own so we will have to sell it when the fixed rate is over. Never imagined this is how motherhood would start for me . But it looks like I'll be better off on my own .

@Jenlou1992 I am not encouraging anyone to get into my position but honestly ending my relationship was the best thing I ever did. I'm still tired, I'm still stressed, I'm still doing everything that needs to be done without any help. But at least now I'm not doing all that and feeling seething rage to the other grown adult in the house who is just sitting on the sofa and not lifting a finger or using his brain. It's incredibly satisfying doing things on my own terms

@Jenlou1992 I'm so sorry, that sounds awful. Not encouraging or anything, as it's none of my business, but you know yourself and your relationship best, so if you can't see it working again, then it might not. Especially if you're the only one willing to work for it.

My LO has a really bad cold - snot, cough, temperature, all that jazz. Sleep is bad, eating even worse. Ugh. I don't know how people cope with it when their babies are really very sick. I'm feeling so sorry for the little man and I'd honestly rather be twice as sick myself than this!
He's pulling himself to standing so much and finally learning to sit back down, such a pain when he only knows the way up.
Our house is extremely child unsafe! As a result I feel like I'm restricting him a lot, as I won't just let him crawl everywhere - there's cat litter boxes, food bowls, bins, wine rack, cold tile floors. You name it, we've got it. And even though there's a lot of safe things and places he could explore, he definitely knows exactly what he shouldn't touch and goes right after it!

On a more positive note, me and DH finally managed to DTD in mid December. I actually went to a procedure called Protégé Intima, which is like a non invasive radio frequency and ultrasound energy vaginal remodeling. Pretty awkward as it's a gynecologist basically heat-massaging your vulva for about 1.5 hours, but it worked. I mean, there's still some mild discomfort, but I actually have some libido again and well... He got in, which was a massive progress, lol. Just thought I'd mention it if someone is in a similar boat to us.

Not sure if related or it's because LO dropped quite a few feeds, but aunt Flo came for a visit after year and a half, which is definitely a bummer.

@Jenlou1992 how is it going? Your Rose sounds like she's getting up to loads of mischief on the stairs, that made me laugh. For what it's worth, I think you're a saint as you've gone through pretty much all of this alone and I've been fortunate enough to have a (brilliant) husband and I've found this last year so tiring. Whatever happens with your partner, he has got to thank you for raising his little girl so well without him. What do you feel he needs help for? I'd also echo @whatalearningcurve and @sheeni as whilst I've not been in this situation, there have been times when I've been happier that I've given up expecting things and that mental energy can be used on actually doing it myself. Also, it's not going to get any easier.... Apparently. Presumably he would have to give you child maintenance to look after Rose? Would that help with the mortgage costs?

@Jenlou1992 how are you/things? Sounds like you are doing what works best for you and Rose with feeding on your break, hopefully as you say once you introduce the water she may drop that feed too. I'm sorry to hear about the rows with your partner. You need to do what you think is best for you xx Rose sounds like she's doing really well getting around too!

@Sheeni sounds like your procedure did the trick, glad to hear you arent feeling as much pain as before. Shame about Aunt Flos unexpected arrival though! How is the LO, is his cold still bad? It's so hard when you cant really do anything to make it go away isn't it. We found snuffle babe did help a bit with his breathing at night. Our kitchen is really baby unfriendly. I just have a stair gate up between the living room and kitchen as it's hard tile floors and I get worried because before the stair gate he used to come in and try and climb up everything and I was terrified he would fall and bang his head. Do you have carpet in the living room? If so maybe give him more free reign in there and restrict kitchen access until he's more steady on his feet. That's what we are doing anyway and he seems to be doing really well, with the occasional fall and head bump which makes me feel terrible!

Hows everyone doing? Any plans for when LOs turn 1? We arent having a party, i think DP is taking the day off work and we're going to all go swimming and then to Heaton park to play on the swings and see some of the farm animals.

Hey sorry for being MIA , just trying to adjust being back in work . Thought I was tired before ...God knows what I am now . It's tough, rose is up 5+ times in the night . Not for feeds . Just whining . She has just cut her first tooth a couple of days ago so I am blaming that although deep down she's been like this since day dot. I am literally running on nothing . I think once a couple of teeth have come through and I can tick off the fact it's not teething then I am going to have to do some form of controlled crying ... I have never let her cry longer than 5 minutes before and so it will he tough but i can't go on like this . She's 10 months on Wednesday and I have never slept for longer than 3 consequitive hours . It's making the rows between me and my partner worst etc and I just can't function .

On a happier note I am so happy Shes finally getting teeth haha shes got a great funny personality . Plays peek a boo. Does a fake crying face which is hilarious. It's just the best. No plans made for her first birthday yet . Anyone else have plans ?? Don't think I'm going to do a party but will do something nice either way . Xx