The March-ers 2019 - Baby Talk #3

[Angelmiracle]

Thread 3 mamas

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/3579104-The-March-ers-2019-Baby-Talk-2

Thread 2

Thanks @Angelmiracle!! Can't believe we are already onto thread 3 and the oldest are only just approaching the 6 months mark, other than the baby who arrived in January.

Wow, thread 3! Thanks @Angelmiracle

Sorry to hear your sad news @brobot but I’m pleased you were all able to be with him. My Nan passed in hospital in November outside of visiting hours and although it was peaceful she was on her own. We couldn’t get her home due to medical reasons. My mum still feels guilty about it.

@whatalearningcurve sorry to hear things didn’t work out, well done for having the strength to make such a big decision.

Well, the recovery from sleep regression didn’t last, had another week of it where he never seemed to drop into a deep sleep so the slightest thing had him awake and screaming at me.It was ts helped by the fact he hadn’t pooped for two days and was very uncomfortable. In desperation I tried giving him calpol as he was screaming so loud I thought he could be in pain. He took it reasonably well (for him) but was sick again afterwards so I think he might be intolerant to it. Going to try the infant nurofen instead next time, hopefully we’ll have better luck with that.
Those of you with a Boots advantage card and have joined the parenting club, they currently have an offer of a free weaning book available, you have to go online or on the app to add it to your card.
There’s also some money off first foods on there.
Freddie is definitely becoming more wilfull lately. Sometimes he seems to both want the boob but not want it at the same time, sometimes it’s a particular toy/funny face/silly noise. He’s enjoying sensory play and rhyme time more too. He can balance in a sitting position for over ten seconds before slumping to the side like a drunk. 4.5 months now, 19lb4 at last weeks weigh in which means he’s just over double his birth weight. He’s getting too heavy for me to lug him about in his carrier for any length of time. Does anyone have any recommendations for carriers for bigger babies?

Just checking in. Thanks @Angelmiracle

@WhatALearningCurve that sounds like a massive decision but it does sound like the right one hope he finds somewhere to go as it’s not your responsibility to look after him

@Angelmiracle Thank you for setting this up! Just checking in.

Anyone has any advice on:

1. Getting a long fibre/hair off of baby's eyeball? It's been there for weeks, unless he manages to get a new one daily. His eye rubbing doesn't budge it.
2. No poop? Won't drink prune or any other juice and even if we force it into him, it doesn't really help. Any other home remedies? We've had 8 days with no poop and now we're again on day 3 and no sign of improvement. GP said to keep up the prune juice, but seems pointless?

@Sheeni no advice on the hair, Sonny had one for a while but it didn't seem to be bothering him so I just left it and it went?

In regards to the poop - have you tried water? Just an ounce or two?

@BadBadBeans For the past week I've given DD two partial formula feeds of 100ml then topped up with breastfeed. One mid morning and one mid afternoon. Next week will add in a partial formula feed at 1pm. The week after will attempt full formula feeds 3 times...and so on. Will keep the morning and bedtime breastfeeds. This should allow my boobs time to adjust so avoid engorgement/mastitis. Its going well so far!

@citybumpkin ooooo that's a good idea about doing a partial ff and then topping up with bf. I was just going to cut out entire bf sessions at a time. Where did you read about that, or did you come up with it yourself? x

@BadBadBeans Came up with it myself as wanted to take things really slowly. I don't want either DD or myself to be stressed or physically hurt in this process.

Sorry about your NHS troubles. They can be arseholes at times. I would start the bottle asap. You may want to do the transition quicker than me though.

@citybumpkin I got mastitis twice with my eldest so I want to do reasonably gradually. I'm aiming to stop over a 6-week period. We're away this weekend, and I don't want to change anything while we're away from home. I'm going to start introducing bottle feeds with my frozen breast milk when we are back on Monday. I'm nervous!

@BadBadBeans Tbh I think her accepting me feeding her happened when we were on holiday. My partner fed her whilst I was around (rather than me being outside in the wind/rain). The day we came home she had no issues whatsoever with me feeding her. Previously she wouldn't even take a bottle of BM let alone formula. Babies are weird.

@Angelmiracle thanks for the new thread

@Brobot so sorry to hear your sad news. I'm glad you were able to be with him. Its lovely that you and Elliot can be of some comfort to your mum. Sending hugs xx

@WhatALearningCurve sorry to hear about you and your babies dad. It sounds like you have made the right decision for everyone but it must be hard for you xx

@brobot I'm really sorry. Thinking of you and your family at this difficult time. Try to get some time away from being a mum and just for you if you can.

@WhatALearningCurve I'm sorry but it sounds like you've thought about logistics and like the others have said it's the harder decision to split than just to carry on pretending nothing is happening in this situation. You don't need to be together to parent effectively and your baby will probably be better off due to it although try to get your ex moved on asap as otherwise you'll never be able to get on with developing your new lives in this new situation.

@BadBadBeans how frustrating!! Surely the 6 months thing isn't right as otherwise they wont be able to see you for ages! Also got NHS issues myself atm (I feel like I should do a ranking of my admin experience with various trusts in the SW London area given I'm now on trust 5) so with you in the pain. One of the bf counsellors I spoke to said I could mix breast and formula in the same bottle, although not sure how that would taste? We are also making similar decisions about feeding, but want to wait until we start weaning in a fortnight. I can't remember, do you currently give any bottles?

We had to give a couple of bottles of formula on days we were stuck and he took them ok (most of the time). One thing I'm starting to become concerned about is the amount Elliot needs to be held. I don't want him to depend on it and my mum made a comment about how she's never seen a baby being held so much (she wasn't being judgy, she was more laughing about about how every baby has such different temperaments). It made me think. I'm terrified of him being spoilt (I know you cant spoil a newborn/baby but you can certainly create habits). I'm also so eager to get him sleeping in the cot but it seems like it will never happen (even though I never even try anymore because I'm terrified of him waking and it taking forever for us to settle him again!). The problem is that for the first couple of hours each night he wakes quite a lot needing comforted so he sleeps quite lightly and would be difficult to move into the cot. Everything I read states that babies sleep deeply for the first part of the night but nope, not with my lo.

@BadBadBeans that's shocking that you have to wait 6 months after stopping bf to even get a consultation. And if that was the case then you definitely should have been told that earlier. Its not just a few weeks! Hope they have made a mistake with that. The hospital staff sound lovely though.

@Brobot does he go down on the floor to play so just needs holding to sleep? George always needs holding to sleep and it's very hit and miss whether we can get him down for a nap but I do think that will come with time. Well I hope! How old is Elliot now? I think it takes a while for them to adjust to their new lighter sleep cycles following the sleep regression. I have no advice on that one as George is now a really light sleeper. I don't dare move some nights to turn over as I know the bed creaking will wake him so worrying about moving to the cot in his room too. At least when he's in with me I can settle him without getting out of bed! I'd just enjoy the cuddles for now :)

@melissa112 he was 6 months yesterday. Well, to get him to sleep he either lies beside me feeding or with me holding him feeding. Either way he needs contact. But I mean just generally he seems to want held constantly. He will only lie and play for about 5 minutes before wanting up. Same with his bumbo or jumparoo. It's exhausting. How do ppl with more than one child do it?? Are we supposed to just let them cry? Or is it just that he is more demanding that others? It's all well and good putting him in the carrier but now he needs to be held allll the time (thanks to the colic) and he does this angry screamy shout thing that if I don't respond to escalates into full blown tears.

On the weaning front, we've tried him with a few bland things the past few days in the hope to avoid him developing a sweet tooth but it was only today when I decided to try the little yellow Ella's Kitchen fruit thing that he seemed more keen lol. In fairness it tastes lovely 🤣

@whatalearningcurve Thank you for advice. The only water he drinks is whatever he sucks out of a flannel during his baths I have no idea how I would get him to drink it.

I'm after some more advice. We're visiting mine and DH's families in two weeks time and I'm dreading it. I'm worried about the flight with a baby, but I'm more worried about staying with MIL and my mum for almost a week each.
My main worry though is that MIL and her husband are heavy smokers (packet a day each, at least) and they smoke in their flat, where we'll be staying. I wanted to get a hotel, but MIL would take that as a big offence and DH said we should at least give it a chance. Do you have any suggestions on how to handle this, in terms of keeping LO as smoke free as possible. Them smoking only outside is not an option, they smoke too often and live on 10. floor.
I'm super anxious especially as he still sleeps on me, which is a SIDS risk, but it was the only one until now. Smoking is a huge risk AFAIK, and it's making me uncomfortable to the point of considering not sleeping at all while he sleeps, which won't really be sustainable considering how many visits we'll have to do.

@brobot I wouldn't worry about him needing to be held a lot. My LO also only falls asleep after nursing in my arms or in bed... Or in his bouncer but he moans a lot whilst I ignore him before he drops off. When they are moving about and more independent they might want to never be held! I also want LO to sleep in the cot :( I think it's a waiting game, but for sure you shouldn't be worried. When you leave him to play, perhaps push the limit a bit? I've left mine so that he's very close to crying and he's slowly able to play independently longer and longer. Sometimes when I actually disappear out of sight in the next room he stops complaining! 😂

@sheeni that sounds like such a difficult scenario 😐 for me personally I wouldn't care about offending ILs as I hate smoking and couldn't be around it myself. Don't they have a balcony or anything? Having said that, some babies grow up around smokers and are perfectly fine. Our little ones are past the worst for SIDs I believe.

@Sianlouise432 thanks that has actually made me feel a bit better. @Sheeni to be perfectly honest I wouldn't stay with them. Everyone I know would be the same about smoke. I actually know someone who makes the in-laws bring a fresh change of clothes to wear when they come into their house!! Lol. A bit extreme but you see my point. You can always tell when I smoker has been holding the baby because they then stink of smoke! Since I already cosleep I am always reassured that he isn't around smoke on top of that. I wouldn't worry about offending them because in my opinion they should know how horrible and dangerous it is to have a baby in that environment. It's not you being overprotective.

@Brobot honestly I wouldn't worry. He just loves his cuddles with his mummy by the sound of it. As @Sianlouise432 says, once he is moving it's likely he'll want to be on the floor more. My friends baby was the same and once crawling would just want to be playing and dashing everywhere!

@Sheeni another one here who wouldn't worry about offending them. My nans (dads mum) husband smokes heavily and does it in the house and it really really smells. When I've visited before pregnancy I'd come out smelling of smoke. I've refused to take George there. My dad and nan both understand. My dad smokes and he changes his top and washes hands/brushes teeth before visiting and he only smokes outside. Haha @Brobot I just read your bit about someone making their in laws do that. Ha I'm that extreme one but I'd just hate for him to be passed back smelling of smoke and I do get paranoid about SIDS.

I know I might be extreme with the clothes changing but I wouldnt worry about offending them to be honest. I know that sounds harsh and is uncomfortable. I'm normally not like that at all and will go out of my way never to cause offence or upset but I wouldn't stay there if they were smoking indoors and it's more than just a quick visit for a couple of hours.

I'm not sure how to manage it if you do have to stay there. Keep all windows open, its summer so you'll have the excuse of it being warm, try and plan lots of days out with inlaws so at least if they smoke then it'll be outdoors and you can just move away to feed him or whatever. Once you're back in you can say you're tired/baby is tired and stay in your room then with windows open and change your clothes once you're ready for bed? Then at least you've spent time with them during the day. But yeh if it was me I'd make an excuse to stay in.a hotel. I know its hard though.

@Sheeni sorry, when I say wouldn't worry about offending them, I don't mean I think you wouldn't care about offending them. I know that's not the case, and what I mean is more that it's unfortunate if they would be offended but as @Brobot says, its not you being overprotective, it's a genuine reason.

@Sheeni will you have your own bedroom while you’re there? You could ask that the room is kept smoke free with the door shut and window open for a few days before you arrive, and at least you’ll have a less smokey place to retreat to with your LO. I’d also try and spend as much time as possible out and about and perhaps (depending on how they’d take it) take your own smoke-free bedding with you. It’s a nightmare juggling the needs of your children with the expectations of the rest of the family sometimes, my DF and his side of the family are all smokers and although when he comes to mine he smokes outside it’s different when you’re in their home.
@Brobot Freddie has hit the sleep regression and it’s really hard to settle him at the moment, this week DH has been working nights so Freddie’s been in the big bed with me and after he drops off feeding I roll him to the side then slowly extricate myself and shuffle across the bed a bit. Sometimes I have to give in and keep my arm curled round him but I try to avoid this as my arm then goes to sleep and I can’t settle. He was really fidgety last night, not quite waking but stirring enough that I had to resettle him repeatedly.