Born in June - waiting on the last few!

[bumperlicious]

new thread, sorry for the unimaginative title!

bumper b/f is a bitch, don'tcha think?

hi jammy and tallulah.

jamantha....we have suddenly gone from 12 pooey nappies yesterday to only one so far today...and i usually feed on the one side only each feed to help with my let down.

tallulah...derlor and i are going to try and meet up in glasgow when i'm in scotland at the beginning of august...d'you want to join us?

any news yet from jbm or annobal?

loopy..I would love the dummy holder. i'll send my address with the shorts....hopefully tomorrow if i get organised tonight.

loopy ?????...i mean loony...oh bugger it, holly i'm talking to you!

Hi Daisy - yep would love to meet up.Just let me know & I'll bring the bucky !

daisy!!

Well my mother strikes again!

Just had a horrible phonecall, she keeps alluding to the fact that she thinks I've got depression because "it's not normal to be finding things so difficult", and if I'm finding bfing so hard I should give it up. she basically is making me feel like I'm not coping properly, suggesting I have PND (not just that I am tired, sore from bfing, emotionally drained and have a 3 week old baby). Please can the rest of you tell me that is is normal for it to be difficult, especially with the feeding?

My mum gave up bfing after 3 days so she doesn't understand how draining it is. She also had a go at me because we haven't taken any more photos for her (like we don't have anything better to do). and if I am coping so well, I'm not communicating that with her so please can I think about how I am communicating when i talk to her. and then the usual, "well I'm not going to call you any more, you can call me when you are ready" (sound familiar?) Arrrrrrrrgggggggghhhhhhhh. She has made me feel like total shit, like I'm not coping and like I am not enjoying my baby enough, and then the classic "well I can't do anything when you are so far away" guilt for moving away. I'm sure I don't have PND, DH doesn't think I have, the HV doesn't think I have, but no, my mum the therapist knows best, and I "need to get it sorted sooner rather than later".

Fuck fuck fuckity fuck. the thing is, even if I do have PND, ringing me up and having a go at me is not going to help. In fact it's not helping me anyway. am I normal to find the endless feeding, changing, lack of sleep, no life, raging hormones a little bit of a shock to the system?

jamantha, was the reflexology session for you or a specialist for babies? Interested in the tips for wind.

lol tallulah...i'll bring the haggis suppers and derlor can get the deep fried mars bars...what a feast!

bumper...didn't mean to ignore your post

sorry your mum is being a pain from what you've said before she wasn't gifted in the tact department. can you just tell her that although you're doing things differently from her, it isn't wrong and you would appreciate a litttle more support from her.

or is that going to be like a red rag to a bull?

i wish there was something we could do to help with the BF...i know exactly how you feel, i was the same with DS. i know now that the support i got was crap and if i'd had more support i would've stuck with it for much much longer.

could you express and let dh feed her tonight to give yourself a bit of a break...have a nice long pampering bath, or even get out for a hour or so. would it also be worth trying mumsnet local for your area...see if there are any MNers locally who could help you out with the feeding?

big hugs to you...and remember you can call me if you need to

and bumper...it'll settle down soon, i promise. I'm already feeling much more like my normal self...well as normal as it gets for me...hormonally and energy level wise I mean!

You need a break for a few hours....go and get your hair done or have a facial, it'll make you feel much better!

DD is determined she's on a growth spurt feeding frenzy again tonight...i need to put her down and feed DS, but she fretting and whinging every time i put her down.

I bought some tommee tipee closer to nature dummies yesterday....they look odd, but are more nipple like according to the blurb as they have a soft middle. dd seems to keep them in better....

Bumper - I am finding the b/f exceptionally difficult (see my earlier post). It is bloody sore & exhausting & it is easy to say if is so hard just give it up. I thought just that before LO arrived, that would give it a go & if didn't work then would switch to f/f & not beat myself up. However, I was not prepared for the feelings of guilt & inadequacy that overwhelmed me when I was told by m/w that she was not thriving on my milk & I needed to introduce formula. We are still struggling on & the B/F counsellor is a great support. You are doing a great job keep going!

tallulah...you need to report that MW...what she said was awful. they should be supporting mums, not undermining them and making them feel inadequate. very for you!

thanks daisy, i really appreciate your support. i actually feel ok, well, knackered, but until that gem of a conversation with my mum i thought i was doing ok. dh is so good, he will take her as soon as he gets in from work.

If i though i had pnd I would be down the dr's like a shot to get help, but judging by everyone else's posts on here one minute you want to shoot yourself, the next you are like "this isn't so bad". i said to my mum that sometimes it feels like all i've got to look forward to each day is feeding and changing and she thinks that isn't normal, but a) it's true, and b) yes that is a bit sucky when you go from being a woman with a career and a brain to a mum with an obsession with poo! that's going to be a bit of a shock to anyone right?

it is a shock to the system and you need to get used to being bumper the mum instead of bumper the career woman. i did feel like i'd lost the real me even though i really enjoyed being a mum most of the time.

you do get used to it, but its important that you get some "me" time or you will lose yourself a bit and that way madness lies....take it from one who knows )

thank tallulah, i'm sorry you are finding it difficult too. i just keep telling myself it has to get better, and to give it time, i won't regret it in the long run (less washing up etc.) and i know my mum is trying to give me an 'out' if i want it but i think part of it is to relieve her own guilt at not bfing too, like it'll make her feel better if i give up.

glad you are getting support though tallulah. im finding the group really helpful, but it's only once a week and i'm not sure how helpful the support lines are unless you have a specific question.

the transition has been much easier for me this time cos i hated my job with a vengeance....that and i've been here before

To be fair, m/w was very kind & supportive but was so concerned cos baby continually losing weight. Baby's weight gain was her priority, not my desire to b/f. Guess she went for easy, quick fix solution whereas with support from b/f counsellor baby has started to gain albeit slowly & i am still b/f.

thankfully my mum has never felt the urge to either live vicariously through me or criticise my choices...she just oputs her gob in action before her brain is in gear mostly and says really dumb things!

right dd finally sleeping....now what to do with smoked haddock for tea???

ok, here's my plan, dh has friday off so thursday i will try and express so he can do a night feed. dd will be 3 and a bit weeks by then. ooh, i like a plan

daisy (or anyone) what time of day did you express? did you do it all at once? and all from one boob?

Have discovered that there are a number of support groups in my local area - 1-1 support @ hosp, group @ hosp too, local health centre, nearby library etc so if you don't think once a week enough for you, maybe there are other groups locally too.

i take it back about your mw tallulah

bumper the support lines may be able to put you in touch with someone who can see you for one to one support.

right tea for ds before he calls social services to say hes being starved!!

oh & there are also people who will do home visits.

Nah Daisy - she could have tackled things differently. Just that she was very nice & sympathetic.

Must go, my folks coming over for tea. DH doing roast chicken with all the trimmings - yum. Keep chin up Bumper.