February 2019 babies - thread 1

[Celebelly]

Let's go ladies! Share your tales of cluster feeding, cracked nipples, poo explosions and sleep deprivation!

Hi all, I’ve been out of the loop for a while. Erin is now 11 days old. I’ve been struggling quite a lot, mainly due to breastfeeding issues. Just about everything that could make it hard has happened so I’ve been fighting an uphill battle. At day 11 I can still only express around 15mls per boob per time maximum so it seems unlikely I’ll be able to exclusively breastfeed, despite trying my hardest. I’ve had to prioritise sleep and mental health and making sure she feeds at all over pumping which I’m sad about but I was in such a bad way when I left hospital on day 5 I think I might have had a total breakdown without the rest. I’m having a lactation consultant come for a second time tomorrow and after that will make a decision about whether to continue at all, it seems a lot of extra work for such a small amount of breast milk, with feeding her formula and pumping as well. I feel I’ll never be sure she’s getting enough, and also I feel chained to the sofa between breastfeeding, pumping and formula feeds. Husband has been doing most of the FF and has been absolutely amazing. I’m sad we didn’t get better more consistent support in the hospital early on but they pushed us hard to formula feed due to the jaundice and phototherapy.

I don’t feel I’ve really had the baby blues, it seems such a reductive term. The experience in hospital was so horrible and the anxiety of her being unwell and wanting to get home and then trying to find your feet on your own - who the hell wouldn’t expect to be all over the place and down? I have definitely bonded with her but it’s not like how I imagined, my first emotion wasn’t love but intense overwhelm and perhaps relief as I was crying and terrified during the C Section. I was so worried about her in the hospital and scared to end up back there that I’ve found it very hard to relax and enjoy it so far, constantly having no idea if she’s feeding enough, sleeping too much etc.

I already look back on how I thought the baby would slot into my life and how I’d want to get back to work ASAP and can’t quite believe how ridiculous I must have sounded. I can’t imagine leaving the house for 2 hours or not living with my tits hanging out let along working all day. I really hope I get some confidence soon and thank my lucky stars that DH is freelance and saved up so we can do this together for as long as possible. I’d be terrified if he was going back to work in a few days.

I’m also finding the physical transformation really strange, I had horrendous swelling post op and to see my ankles again and to wear some of my old shoes is so strange. My tummy is smaller every day too, albeit absolutely covered in stretch marks. I couldn’t see how bad they were under my bellybutton due to the bump and no mirrors in hospital. I don’t know if there’s anything OK to put on it whilst the C section heals.

I’m glad to know I’m not the only one struggling with BF but sad there’s no way we can really help each other practically with a magic milk wand.

Anyway here’s a photo of Erin, not sure I posted one before. She’s being weighed on Wednesday so we’ll see how she’s doing then. As we are topping up so much it won’t really tell us much though.

She’s beautiful @powkin! I completely understand what you’re saying about feeding and the stress it causes. I ended up expressing and bottle feeding as she wouldn’t latch properly due to a tongue tie. But even after the tongue tie was sorted I still didn’t reintroduce BF as she was being closely watched by the MW due to slow weight gain.

It was so frustrating as she was happy and she was gaining weight just not at the rate they wanted. I was so worried that if I started to BF that the weight gain would slow again and we’d be readmitted which would be my worse nightmare. I need my OH to help look after her and with him not there in hospital I struggled.

I think we’re onto the next growth spurt, I’ve got a proper fusspot who won’t stop eating!

Aw bless you @powkin sounds like you've had a rough time. I felt exactly the same with my first but it does feel a lot better with the second if it's any consolation! I think if you look on this thread pretty much all of us have struggled with feeding. I know from experience how the mum guilt builds but there really is no shame in formula especially if it saves your sanity! Just be kind to yourself: you've had major surgery and it feels like your whole life will never be the same: it won't but it will evolve and it will get better.

Waves to fellow Bristol mum @Fredthespider! What day did you have your little one in the end?

How many midwife visits are ‘normal’?

I had Anna on Tuesday and got home on Wednesday.

Our first visit was on Thursday. Was told that second visit would be Friday. Midwife on Friday said that Anna had lost 12% of her weight since birth and they would need to reassess on Saturday (they advised to continue with BF but use formula for top up).

Midwife on Saturday arrived and confirmed that she had put on 100g overnight so they weren’t worried about her weight as showing an upward trend. I’m planning to reduce formula and start expressing alongside BF.

Had another visit on Sunday for the spot blood test and was informed that another visit is scheduled for Tuesday!

Is this normal? Or is it just due to Anna’s initial weight loss? Xx

@powkin hello Erin arent you a cutie 😍
Another struggling to express. 17days in and not getting much more than you. I am finding a mannual pump much better than hospital electric one. I have seen several lactation consultants who have all given the same advice. A pump is plastic. Ot is hard it is not giving out the same hormones etc as a baby which encoarage let dowb of milk. Toyed with the fact you can see how much milk is coming out which is the added pressure. So then stress and adreneline kicks in. Which stops milk.

I think everytime I try express I express more tears then milk 😂

Its bloody hard work!! Admire anyone who expresses so so much..!!

I find massaging my boobs as I do it and smelling something of the babies really helps me to get a little bit more out. But I still think my body craves that skin to skin contact for optimum let down.

So we braved our 1st outing today jsut the 2 of us. Our little family. All went smoothly until baby wanted feeding. I was so convident id be ok feeding in public then my nerves and bottle totally went.

Anyone any tips or how they concoured their 1st public feed?

If you have a handsfree pumping bra, then you can have skin to skin while pumping. I sometimes cuddle Emma while pumping as it's easier when you don't have to hold the funnels in place all the time.

It's difficult tho. We are topping up with formula a bit although I'm mostly managing to keep up for now, but it's bloody exhausting!

@bubblybrit We will have had three visits before discharge from midwife care, but we were readmitted to hospital in the middle for a few days. Emma lost 11% birth weight but started gaining in hospital and was at 6% loss last time she was weighed so the midwives are happy and didn't need to weigh her last time. I suspect it's the weight loss that's triggered the extra visits

I haven't posted a pic of my little milk monster here yet so here she is! These little sleep sack things are a revelation!

Sorry, we will have had four visits! Lack of sleep makes counting hard...

I have been out of hospital since thursday. We have had 3 visits since discharge with an other planned for later in week. Baby is 17 days old and still being weighed every few days. I think theres no standard ammount of visits and weighs its a case by case thing. If you need visits they will visit.

The health visitor is coming out to us today. Unsure what to exspect as theres been a bit of a cross over with mw. Anyone shed any light on what the 1st post partum visit entailed? I missed the prepartum visit as she was already booked in for induction.

Thanks @Celebelly. I suspected that might have been the case. I really don’t mind the visits but as they don’t book appointments (can arrive any time between 9am and 4pm) I feel as if we are stuck indoors and can’t organise anything x

@Celebelly. Ah Emma is gorgeous. My DH and I chose our top two names prior to her arrival. We were torn between Emma and Anna 😀!!

@Notquiteagandt first health visitor visit they will talk about feeding and a lot about how you are feeling in yourself. They will also probably sign post you to local services like children's centres, breast feeding support sessions and baby massage etc. Mine didn't look at the baby at all but on next visit they will weigh him.

Your little ones look so delicate and newborn! We were in a cafe this morning and an old lady asked me if Max was 3 months old. Her face when I said he was only 17 days! I think we've only got a few more weeks in his Moses basket before he's too big! I am lucky in that I am able to pump 100 ml in a go but with this chunky monkey it doesn't really touch the sides! He's having 4 bottles of breast milk and about 6 formula every day. I worry it's a lot (nearly 40 oz!) but he's never been sick and was told to feed on demand....!

Yeah I would rather know that Anna is well @Notquiteagandt. Just seemed a lot of visits so wasn’t sure if I was doing something wrong as a FTM!!

@maxiflump That hair!!!! He looks like a punk rocker! Can't believe how big he is - you obviously did a good job of growing him!

I can get about 80ml in one go (about 15 mins a boob), sometimes 100ml overnight as I seem to make more milk then, but that's barely keeping up with her! Hoping once the double pump is here later today (hurry up UPS!) I can start building up more of a supply to keep in the fridge as we're kind of winging it from feed to feed at the moment and occasionally having to top up with formula if she's still hungry after.

Hi all. Glad to hear there’s some weight gain - DD has also gained weight following last two visits. Not quite at birth weight yet (10 days old) but enough for midwife to be happy and her feeds have improved. We’ve gone down to 1/2 bottles a day - she still loves a bloody bottle! I have the opposite problem with expressing - not a stealth boast, I’m quite concerned re mastitis - in that I have SO much milk and can easily express 5oz in about 15 mins when full. I’m trying to limit it as she’s not draining a breast per feed yet but I’m regularly ending up swollen on at least one side, the freezer stash is looking v healthy but it’s not sustainable in the long term so hoping it calms down a bit soon.

Had oversupply issues previously so it’s not a surprise but I had a monster 9.11 baby last time and this one isn’t as much of a milk pig!

And re visits. We have another one (no.4) on sat for another weigh in - she’s looking much better though. HV on Tues - from what I recall it’s similar to MW and also gives details of local support etc and weigh in clinics etc...

Ahhh what a little chunk!! People are shocked when they ask me how big DD was at birth and I say 7.11 - she looks so so much smaller than that... I also braved my first solo outing with two the other day - was great!

Also - sorry @notquiteagandt - public feed tips:

1. Have a muslin to help cover up a little bit while you navigate the logistics - I’m not a fan of those covers but they can help a bit at first if you’re nervous
2. Choose your location first - high backed chair - back against a wall so you can turn in slightly to adjust / get boob out without flashing
3. Watch for signs - don’t wait till she’s hungry and asking as it’ll fluster you
4. Don’t worry!!!! If anyone is staring / looking it’s probably in admiration of the newborn loveliness and that you’re bf!

Good luck!

Ok final comment from me sorry!!! @notquiteagandt have you tried pumping and feeding at the same time? It requires a bit of balancing but encourages let down - I tend to get the pump going so there’s enough suction and then pop DD on - saves time. My other DD also likes to ‘help’ with the pump 🤪 but if you have a feeding cushion to prop it up against it could help? Just a thought - deffo speeds things up for me.

Enough now!

@maxiflump1 his hair 😍😍😍😍 what a handsome boy. Unussual to see such thick hair thats so fair.

@bubblybrit totally get you. I got so down in the dumps feeling like it was something I was doing wrong. That I was being judged or watched etc. But I have relaxed now and I think well at least shes being checked ao I know shes ok. Much better now home and more settled.

@Since2016 thanks so much fantastic tips!! I discovered today my feeding top exposes more flesh then I realised. And I only had a small muslin in my bag. Certainly didnt help my stress levels..!! Note to self to carry a large muslin at all times now!!

Loving all the baby pics! 😍

Just checked in on this group and it’s so nice to see the babies and also reasuring that I’m not alone in finding the feeding/weight loss/waiting for MW visits/pumping carousel pretty draining.

Otto is 5 days old and we’ve been topping up from birth due to horrendous feeding problems with my first. He seems to be getting the hang of BF well and loves the bottle so on the whole I’m happy. But he does sleep a lot between feeds so I go all anxious and a bit mad that he isn’t feeding enough. And today the MW visit said weight loss was 8%. Nothing massively to worry about but it set me into quite an anxious place after the trauma of last time. She is coming back on Thurs.

My milk only came in the day before yesterday though so I’m telling myself it will be ok. It’s nerve wracking though, isn’t it??

@AmberRose17 an 8% loss is really good for a breastfed baby so please don't worry.

@Notquiteagandt. I burst into tears when they said that she had lost 12.3%! Was really down when I thought my baby was still hungry without me knowing! Especially as I was EBF at that point. MW tried to convince me that wasn’t the case but took a day or two until I calmed down. Just didn’t realise that the visits would continue for so long.

That’s exactly what happened to me @AmberRose17. Although my little ones weight loss was greater. She was born late Tuesday evening and then weighted on Friday. My milk has only come in on Thursday so felt as if I had no time to feed properly and panicked when they mentioned a hospital stay!

@bubblybrit totally get this. My little girl lost just under 13% so we ended up spending 2 weeks in hospital. I was just sobbing and sobbing feeling like I was starving my baby. Was easily the worse experience of my life. Ive never felt so heart broken. So I get where you are coming from. I felt like I had to justify every feed etc. To medical staff. I didnt. But just how I felt. I am just so glad that the wonderful feeding team supported me so much with breast feeding. We got there in the end. So fingers crossed gets easier for us all hey..!!