The APRIL 2007 invasion has started

[1becomes3]

Right ladies this is going to be used as a tip's, questions and answers etc thread for those of us who have had our babies and can't keep up with the chat on the other thread. (my word those ladies can talk)

And of course everyone is welcome to post on here the more advice etc the better.

hi all

mumina...... I can totally relate and I put it down to older child. If I didn't have James I would have stuck at it longer, I think but James was suffering as I was constantly feeding, it was draining and I couldn't sleep when babies slept due to ds1. I am babbling now and I did beat myself up about it and still do. I also avoided bf posts and couldn't even find the courage to contact Marslady who offered me help from multiple posts.

Do what is best for you and your family, it is hard.

(bet my tummy is more saggy than yours )

Afternoon all - where do all the days go ?????!

I am still bf - had traumatic time with ds1 - so pretty pleased with myself - ds2 was bottle fed from birth - so totally understand where you're all at ... and with older children too! dh has another two weeks off which is great - he is doing the school run - thank goodness! Went out - yes out! - to toddlers this morning - took me an hour and half to get myself out the door!... was meant to be making lunch an hour ago

Got Ernie weighed yestreday - has put on 4oz - now 9lb 12

Thinking about putting him in his own room next week and getting dh back in with me ... will see how it goes!

Take care everyone - will try to catch up soon xxx

Hi all, I'm on my own at home with the baby for the first time...OMG I keep expecting someone to knock on the door and say "I'm sorry we've made a mistake, you're not allowed to look after a baby"!!! It feels a bit wierd cos mum & DH have been doing pretty much everything for me as I've been ill. It's a week since I changed a nappy .

Think I might use the baby bath foam inmy bath tonight...thanks all for that suggestion. (And Lesley - I too had a bath just after giving birth with some baby bath in it, duh! Does the pg brain last forever...I was hoping I'd get my old brain back after giving birth )

DH said something about England v Italy when watching Man u match the other night and I was like "Eh?" so he explained "Man U v AC Milan". I said "well why don't they put ACM at the top of the screen instead of MIL...I was all impressed that Milwall were leading"!!! DH PHSL!

Sorry to hear about bf problems and just want to wish you all the best with whatever you choose to do. At the end of the day if you are happy and baby is happy that's the most important thing. I was dissappointed I couldn't breast feed (in fact I think it was only due to the pethidine I had in labour) but seeing how distressed Erin was when the mw was trying to make her feed and the fact she was the quietest, sleepiest baby on the p/n ward made it quite easy for me to switch to formula. MIL was NOT happy tho...but DH has banned her from saying anything about it (told her she wouldn't be welcome again if she upset me).

Hiya Nutty, good to see you, and you sound on top form. Really glad that you are better.

Also pleased that your dh has backed you up re the bottle feeding.

I am in the bottle feeding camp also, and if anyone passed any comments I would rip their heads off!!

Me, feisty???

Poor dh, he now has 3 feisty women to deal with!!

Hi guys!

Sorry to hear about everyone who has problems feeding. Thought I might usefully weigh in a little here as luckily it seems to be going pretty well for us (can't believe Orla is 1 month today!!). I know I am very lucky as I've found breastfeeding pretty easy both times, but I do worry about latching, and yes, it would be great if DH could feed her sometimes. Can I add a bit of advice without sounding smug?!? I will try:

1. If you can get it well established, breastfeeding is very easy - always there, always the right temperature etc. The problems with latching, leaking, painful nipples etc really do go away in time. I breastfed DD1 for 9 months, and she slept through the night from about 4 months without the benefit of formula or solids.

1. There are real health benefits to breastfeeding - I'm not trying to bash bottlefeeding at all, the most important thing is for you to be happy, but I have noticed that DD1 has been very healthy and I put it down to breasfeeding - never had an ear infection, never really had vomiting and diorrhea bug etc.

1. Once breastfeeding is going well, you can give bottles every now and then or regularly - for example get DH to do one at about 11pm so you can sleep then.

1. One thing I did with DD1 if I was very tired was agree with DH that on a Fri and Sat night I would feed her, but do nothing else - I would feed her and then go straight back to sleep, leaving him to wind her, change nappy if necessary, and settle her back to sleep.

1. I actually love breastfeeding because it's my excuse to be lazy - "no I can't possibly cook, wash up, make tea etc because I am sitting on the sofa watching telly and breastfeeding!"

I'm really sorry if any of that sounds smug - I know I'm lucky that I've found it easy both times, and that I seem to produce a lot milk easily (although I work on the basis of why would there not be enough milk? - just because your breasts feel soft, doesn't mean they are empty). I fully respect those of you who've decided it's not for you, and to be honest, I won't be feeding for 9 months this time as I have to go back to work before that, but I thought it might be helpful for those who are finding it tough to hear a success story and that it really does get easier if you hang in there!

Right, off to stick DD2 onto the other side and slump in front of The Little Mermaid!

comes crawling on hand and knees back onto thread]

[very weak emotion]

hello all, DD1 is out of hospital thank god!
I for one have no energy left it has been such a traumatic time for all of us.

poor dd1 has had a tube stuck up her nose down into her tummy to get back some of the fluids she has been losing through vomiting and diarrhea, and all the while dh and I have been trying to coax her into drinking for herself. Needless to say it has been a very very long couple of days.
DD1 is now taking fluids through a syringe every 2 hrs she has 5ml of water ever 5 mins for an hour!

She does seem to be better in herself now she is home, and we hope that the diarrhea will clear up soon and she will start to drink by herself.

she hasn't eaten since saturday, so gone are the chubby toddler legs and cute hamster cheeks, she looks so tiny again and all her clothes are falling off her

BUT thank god she is doing better.

Cheers, Bramshott - it seems a chore at the moment but it's a huge help to remind myself why I wanted to succeed this time. When do the nipples get less sensitive? The initial latch still makes me wince even when the feed itself is comfortabe.

Oh 1b3, poor little dd. Huge hugs as it must have been horrible seeing her so ill. You must be utterly knackered. At least toddlers tend to bounce back fast after they've been ill.

1b3 - so glad to hear she is out of hospital - lets hope she starts to be on the mend.

Bramshott thanks for the info...
I had totally decided at lunchtime to switch to FF and Robyn has had 2 3 0z bottles 3 hrs apart and been really chilled and settled all afternoon....the milk is POURING out of me...and I'm just so disappointed in myself...I don't know whether to give her next feed off the breast and try to persevere....just worried that the poor wee soul will get totally mixed up.

I know I need to make a decision and stick to it but I just know all the benefits of breastfeeding....I also know it is early days and I should try longer if I can....DH seems so pleased about my lunchtime deicsion to bottlefeed he went straight out and bough 2 cartons of SMA Gold and made up all the bottles....he is supportive either way but I know he would prefer me to bottle feed...I am worried he will lose patience with me if I change my mind again.

I wish I could just stop procrastinating about it and decide what to do...

so weary with it all to be honestx

1b3 - glad to hear dd is getting better, hope she's back to normal soon. Wishing you all the best, I know it must be really hard for you at the moment.

DH was a bit off about me not bf at first but when he saw how the effect bottle feeding had on Erin (much more awake, that sort of thing) he knew we'd done the right thing. I sometimes wonder if I should have expressed but tbh the pump hurt so much I couldn't stand it and although I was hand expressing loads (mw was v impressed!) it was just taking so long and didn't seem to be feeding Erin enough. (I read afterwards that the pethidine can be passed to baby from breast milk for the first few feeds so that probably didn't help...i wish I'd known more about it cos I'd have insisted they gave her formula when she was born to get her strength up to be able to suck)

SOKL (and other bottle feeders) - do you find that your LOs take widely differing amounts at their feeds...I'm finding that sometimes Erin takes 100ml and other times she only takes 60ml. Also I'm a bit confused cos 1 mw said not to let her go longer than 5 hours without a feed but the other mw said to feed her when she wants it and not to wake her at night (ie only feed at night if she cries). Erin doesn't wake much at night, once she's got to sleep about midnight she'll quite happily sleep all night......so I don't know whether it's best for her to be woken for a feed halfway through (say 4am) or just leave her til she wakes in the morning. Strangely if she's left, she seems to take less formula at her feed.

MIAST - sorry x-posted with you. Sorry that it's such a dilemma for you (I guess the decision to FF was made easy for me). I think if you're undecided it's perhaps best to try and stick with it so you have no regrets IYSWIM...I think if you get to the point where you feel you HAVE to give up it's so much easier to remind yourself not to feel guilty when you have a bit of a down day, if that makes sense???

Not ignoring everyone else, will be back later to catch up. But Nutty re ff, mw in hospital said don't leave it longer than 6 hours between feeds. So i said what even if they're still alseep didn't think you're supposed to wake a sleeping baby. So mw tells me that if you leave it more than 6 hours they might develop jaundice. Personally not sure about that one. Was never told it with dd and she slept through from day one nearly so would go for 8 or so hours maybe without a feed. DS isn't quite good at night(is still very good though but dd was a total star) but i let him go 7 hours without a feed the other night Think i'm just gonna follow what i did with dd as she's perfectly fine, never shuts up, eats loads, grows fine(bit too quickly!)etc. HTH

Actually think i'll ask hv when she comes on wed about this. Will elt you know what she says.

I have to say i do think that mw/hv etc have to tell us lots of info becuase they are told too, but in actual fact they think it's a load of old . But that is just my opinion.

Oh 1b3 - great to hear that she's out of hospital! Hope she's on the mend and that the rest of you are coping!

Rushing off to get DD1 dinner, but briefly:
Liath - maybe I just have nipples like old boots, but I didn't have a problem with pain / cracking after the first week. When Orla latches on now, I can feel a pulling sensation so I know she's on right, but I wouldn't call it pain. What I couldn't bear in the early days was that every time Orla fed, I had the most crippling afterpains - urggh! Thank god they are gone now!

MIAST - poor you hon. Why don't you mixed-feed a bit? If you decide eg to feed in the morning and evening and give bottles in the night and daytime, your body would learn (I think) to make milk only for those times. If I were you, I'd give BF a bit more of a chance because you can switch to FF at any time, but much more difficult to switch back IYSWIM. Maybe tell yourself you'll give it till Sunday night and then make a final decision then?

hi everyone

We're all doing ok over here. Can't believe T is already a week old. Was ordering some photos last night and getting all emotional at the ones of when he'd just been born.

We had our first trip out today. Dh & I went out for lunch. T looked so tiny in his car seat. It was really sweet. Dh has booked an extra week off work to make it 3 weeks off with us so it looks like our lovely babymoon will carry on for a bit longer !! We've still got lots of family and friends who want to visit, but because we live so far from them all it's a big day of it when they come and can be quite exhausting, so we're trying to space them out a bit.

My sis is coming back on monday and wants to stay over. We've said no houseguests yet and arranged for a bed at some friends but she's being really stroppy. First she said 'can I bring a sleeping bag and just put it on your spare bed?' - failing to see it's not the extra washing that's the issue, we just want so space as a new family. And then she said 'maybe I'll sleep in the car then!!!!' WHAT! No pressure on us then. She's lovely, but likes to get her own way. Am trying to be strong and stick to my guns though, but it's difficult. She's older than me by-the-way. Could you guess!!

runny sorry you had such a bad night. Poor you with dh away for the night so soon after having your lo. Hope that things are better tonight. Know what you mean about sore boobs. Mine are killing. Being a flipping H cup doesn't help either! Have got cabbage leaves stuffed down my bra today, they are easing the pain a bit (need to be dark green cabbage leaves if you want to try it & putting them in the fridge first is bliss!)

MIAST Oh hon. You sound like it's getting to you. Have you seenWO's thread , she's struggling too and the advice she's getting would be really helpful for you as well. Is there a bf counsellor you can speak to or get to come over and have a chat with you (I'm sure one of the links on wo's thread would sort that for you, or speak to mw) I have a friend who is one and she dropped round the other day and watched me feed and helped me along a bit, it made such a difference to have an expert eye and experienced person to chat to, not just me and my book balanced on my knee IYSWIM!! xx

1B3 - oh darling. You are doing so so well. Can't believe what a difficult (understatment of the year) you're having. Really pleased to hear dd is out of hospital. Thinking of you and your family. Wish there was more I could do for you all. Sorry, nothing helpful to say really, but to you. xxx

bramshott - the afterpains you describe are just like what I'm getting! I couldn't understand why it was hurting afterwards. They are killers, especially at night when I just want to get to SLEEEEEEP and no matter where I lie my boobs are throbbing!!!!

Hi Eca

I did read WO's thread and there was lots of info on it. I've emailed WO as I just feel so much empathy with her at the moment.
Bramshott - have to say I like the idea of see how it goes mix feeding till Sunday but I have had an even longer discussion with DH and my Mum as have just been continually crying about it all for most of the afternoon and we have come to the agreement that I should just FF and stop beating myself up as it is taking all the enjoyment out of these first weeks for me.

Eca - at sister! Can she not take a hint!?

Well right on cue Robyn has awoken 3 hrs after her last feed!! Best go
x

My neighbour that I was in hospital with has just told me that the midwife told her today that the hospital had mixed up our blood test results and that it is actually me with an iron level of less than 10 and not her!!!

but they haven't bothered to tell me.....

No wonder I feel so bloody run down. Bloody incompetence....makes you wonder what else they coudl mix up! Glad I had a girl and she had a boy!!!!
x

MIAST OMG!!! Can't believe they mixed up your results and you found out from your neighbour!!!! Shocking.

Sorry you've had an afternoon in tears. hope that the discussions with your dh/mum help and that you feel better about your decision. Hugs to you honey. xx

Right, T's hungry!! Better go! xx

Hiya ladies.

1b3, so so glad that your dd is on the mend. What an awful time you have had. I really hope that she makes a speedy recovery, and you can all relax a bit. Thinking about you lot.

Hi Bramshott, glad all is going well for you and Orla. x

Nutty, I am trying to stick to 3 oz bottles for Katie, although on occasion I have to give her an extra ounce to settle her.

She also feeds about every 3 to 3 1/2 hours, and sometimes 4 hours. During the day seems to be 3 - 3/12 hours, then she has a bottle at about 10.30/11.00pm one again at 2.30/3.00am and then up at 7.00 ish for breakfast! So, 7 3 oz bottles in 24 hours. I am keeping a log (yes, I need to get out more) just to see the pattern, and I find it really useful. Did this with Becky as well for a few weeks.

MIAST, glad you have come to a decision. You just have to remember (without sounding patronising) that you have given it your best shot, she has gained good stuff from your breast milk already, and that you can now, as you say relax and enjoy her.
Cannot get over the cock up with the blood test results. Absolutely outrageous. Hope you can get some spatone and start to feel better soon.

All ok here. Getting a bit stressed with Becky more than anything. DH is keen to give her responsibilities with Katie, and allows her to pick her up, feed her etc. all with him supervising, and that's fine. But I am worried that when I am on my own with the 2 of them, I am not going to be able to turn my back for a second. I have spoken to him about it, and he sees my point of view, but I kind of feel we have set a precedent. I know B would never harm her on purpose, but I am just a bit worried- probably being unreasonable/overprotective.

Right, really need to go. Hugs to everyone.
xx

Hi SOKL

I too am worriedabout what James will be like next week when it is just me, him and Robyn. The only thing I would say is to just wait and see how it goes before worrying about it (I know easier said than done)but I spent so much time worrying about what James would be like before the birth and that has turned out ok.

Do you have a travel cot?? I would maybe suggest putting that up in the lounge or kitchen (wherever you will be spending time and need to put her somewhere safe) so that you could pop her in that when you really need to (go to loo, cook lunch etc).
I am planning to just move bouncy chair around the house with me so I can pop her in there and keep an eye on her if doing and jobs...if James is unmanageable then I will resort to the travel cot.

Well....it is 7pm and James is in bed and for the first time we got Robyn ready for bed at same time and I have put her down in her cot. She had a FF at 5.30 so I topped her up with the breast before bed and she went off like a dream...so I feel a bit better and SHOCK HORROR - Phil and I have time to ourselves - he is making a lovely tea so we may just get a bit of a relax before I hit the hay for an early night...

Do I see light at the end of this weeks dark tunnel? DO feel better as she seems much more settled.
Once again thanks for being there....this place is a real life line at times
xx

Hi MIAST, you sound on top of the World! Hope you have a really good night tonight and can relax.

You are right about not worrying about something before it happens. Katie spends most of the time in the moses basket in our kitchen/family room, so I can keep an eye on things. Tbh, Becky is now going to be going full time 4 days a week at preschool, so there will be little opportunity for the 2 of them to be together with only me supervising. I know it will be fine, it is just that Katie is so so tiny and fragile! Overprotective mother! We took K to preschool today when we picked up B, and the number of children stroking her and prodding her was overwhelming! K just slept through the whole ordeal!

Anyway, hope you and all you lovely mummies have a good night and if I don't see you tonight, see you tomorrow.
Sounds like Katy and Maveta may be joining us v soon, and Tili had her baby boy yesterday!
xx

Evening ladies

1b3 - So glad to hear dd is home, and on the mend. Hopefully you can get a bit more rest too x

MIAST - Glad you're feeling a bit better. Know what you mean about this thread - it really is lifeline. And at your results! Try Floradix(sp?) its a herbal remedy/tonic in either liquid or tablet form, and doesn't make you constipated.

I've had a lovely day. 2 very good friends came over with their lo today, but arranged to come over in shifts, so they could do stuff for me One of them bought lunch, and then my second visitor ran around playing with her dd and my ds1. Very lucky to have such good friends.

Also recieved today an invite to a friends wedding, who I haven't actually seen in years, but have known since I was 18 (spent many a drunken night with her) We've always had the type of friendship where we don't need to talk all the time, but are there for the good/bad times. And even more happy that the dc are invited too. Dh is quite excited because he wants all the "boys" to be matching LOL - don't think you can get a suit for a baby He's also chuffed that I will be driving as I'll be bf. How did that happenIts my friends wedding, and he'll be the one getting drunk

Bramshott you are not being smug at all. your points are very valid and extremely welcome! Bf is extremely hard going and we all need as much support and advice from those more experienced as we can get.

We are all adult here and can all make our own choices so I am sure that no-one would be offended or find it smug at all. I intend to BF for as long as I can when I say that a few months at the most and then will switch to both and then bottle feed.

I have found that it has got a lot easier over the past few weeks, the major downside is that you cannot pass them on to someone else for the occasional feed, but you have to weigh it all up, the pros and the cons.

I have made the right decision for myself, as others have too and it is all about personal preference and nothing else.

bet you've all buggered off now i'm awake!

liath i get the pain when he latches on too, and it fades once he's been feeding for a minute or 2 just like you described.

i've found that if i express a little first i don't get that pain

xx