Babies after Infertility

[Blue2014]

Here is a thread for all of us who got our babies even though we never actually believed this could happen us ...

Too sleep deprived (and surprised!)!to be witty or more interesting in the thread title ...

Come join us.

Re breastfeeding - i night weaned first because I was getting really annoyed at having to feed in the night and almost developing a bit of a nursing aversion (was fine during the day and at bedtime). I went back to work at 6 months and was just so tired of having to do all the nights so I think that helped me stay strong. Plus I cuddled him (didn’t make him lie in the cot) so I felt I was still providing comfort, just not via the boob. It really wasn’t much crying, more just being perturbed that I wasn’t offering a feed and struggling to settle. But he was through it in less than a week.

The rest of the feeds happened quite naturally. The lunchtime one was easy as I wasn’t there 5/7 days anyway. Bedtime was surprisingly easy - I actually wasn’t trying to fully wean, I just wanted him to take a bottle so dh could do bedtime. I started by always giving a bottle which he would take for a little bit and then get annoyed and want a feed. Eventually, though, he just stared drinking the bottle and then snuggling into me and falling asleep. So it was super easy. (He still won’t go to sleep awake in his cot - we just sit and snuggle and sometimes read another book after he’s finished his bottle then he’ll curl up on me and go to sleep. Not textbook, but it works for me!). And the morning feed he actually self weaned as he’s so excited in the mornings he’s less interested in boob and just wants to race off and explore.

All of which is to say that I would follow your baby’s lead. If she’s really resisting weaning then maybe just delay a little longer? My son was absolutely ready - I imagine it would have been really unpleasant if you were fighting your child.

Oh and when I was in the midst of it I felt terribly sad that I was stopping - the hormones do a real number on you. This is why you should only ever drop one feed at a time - I could always tell myself that we were still feeding, it was just this one feed. And it helped that he gave up his last feed himself - I don’t know how I would have done it! (Btw it’s only been a week since my very last feed - if he wanted to feed occasionally in the morning I would still let him but he hasn’t shown any signs of wanting to.) I think once you’re through it though I realised it is just moving to the next stage and he’s still my snuggly little boy.

Jeez, sorry for the breastfeeding essay!

Hello everyone - sorry to disturb your group but lucie I have just had a natural fet with a PGS tested embryo done to try for no 2 and I think have also had a chemical. I started getting faint lines on frers at 7dp5dt but they are not getting any darker and today I had a beta today at 9dp5dt which has just come back as 3. My clinic thinks this is still ok as it is “early days” but I’ve been getting hpt positives for 3 days so I think presumably this means my hcg is falling for me still to be getting positives on hpts. I feel so sad about it but also a bit flummoxed - not sure what to do differently.

Anyway, just wanted to say that you are not alone!

Aww hi snowday I'm really sorry to hear that. It does sound very similar to mine. I got a faint bfp in the evenin on 4dp5dt and it was darker by 6dpt but lighter at 7dpt and then barely there by 8. I did a digi at 7dpt and it said not pregnant. Chemicals really are so cruel especially when you build your hopes up with a tested embryo. Do you have anymore frosties?

Stealth, thanks for the tips. She's not really resisting weaning. We weaned off all the day time ones and the one before bed a good while ago and she has been completely fine. I think if anything I probably having a harder time letting go at the moment!

It’s so frustrating isn’t it lucie. I did a digi today and it was negative and that’s when I knew. I have 2 more PGS tested Frosties although not sure of grade. I just feel really worried that this might happen again.

I'm not sure the grade matter too much if they are tested. We only have 1 tested one left and the other 2 are untested so I'm terrified of my next transfer now. I keep thinking what if this one I just lost was the only good one of the bunch and I lost it because of something I did or didn't do and the chance of a sibling is gone

Oh god lucie I know what you mean but you CANT think like that. I just read a good paper on chemical pregnancies (am a shocking dr googler) that made me feel better - it basically says there is no real reason for chemicals. You didn’t do or not do anything, you’re doing the best you can and sometimes these things are just shit. Basically, it suck.

Mind you, that paper also makes me feel worse as I have no idea how to stop it again! With hindsight I was so lucky to get pregnant with my first round of ivf. I am pretty sad that this didn’t work, but would have been devastated if I was ttc no 1.

This is the article: www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC3712881/

Thanks snow will have a good look at that once I've put little one to bed. I know what you mean. We had quite a lot of treatment to get the first and I never thought we would get her so i am so lucky and like you say would have been devastated if we were having bfns without any children. I always thought it would be easier with the second and it kind of is a little bit but I don't feel like we have completed our family and would desperately like my little girl to have a sibling. I think if the embryo wasn't tested I could have accepted the chemical but are they supposed to happen with tested embryos or could it be down to something else? My doctor has advised to add intralipids this time incase of immune issues.

I know what you mean lucie - we definitely want a sibling for my son. Mostly because he loves other kids so much! But I feel much less desperate about it than with the first.

In the paper I linked to it says: . “These findings suggest that the majority of biochemical pregnancies do not result from karyotypically abnormal embryos, as do clinical abortion.” Which suggests chemicals are down to something other than the embryo quality - they just don’t know what!

I will have to go and talk to my clinic about next steps. I did the level 1 immune tests before my fet last time as a belts and brace thing - they didn’t turn anything up. I might just rerun all those tests again before cycling again. And I must admit that I was a LOT healthier when I cycled last time. Might make more of an effort with diet & exercise too. Ho hum.

Thanks snow I've read it now and it seems pretty positive. How old are you if you don't mind me asking? I'm 38 and feel like time isn't on my side if these frosties don't work. Do you know when you will have another try?

I’m 37 lucie. Will be 38 in June. I do worry about that aspect too - although I responded well to stims last time and my Amh was ok, I’m aware there is a big difference between 35 and 38/9 in fertility terms. I guess I’m just hoping that one of the next two will stick. I don’t really have a Plan b though. Are you considering doing another fresh round?

In terms of next try - I think I might sit out the next cycle unless my clinic tells me you get a positive fertility boost by cycling directly after a chemical. I feel I need a little break and (selfishly) next time round would deliver me a child with a due date of bang on Christmas, which id honestly rather avoid (silly I know). If I cycled again in April/May that’d be good - and would also give me time to get healthy.

It's so nice to have you to talk to snow. We both seem to be at the same stage, similar age etc. Reading the study you posted a large proportion of women seem to get pregnant the cycle straight after the chemical but i know what you mean I had already worked out it would mean a Christmas due date which obviously isn't ideal but I would take it lol. I haven't had a bleed yet since the chemical. My line was barely visible on Monday and I didn't take any meds from Wednesday onwards but still nothing yet. Not really sure when to expect it. Think my hcg would be back down to zero by now.

I know it’s funny we’re in such a similar position. I haven’t really told anyone about this fet - I had a few friends who knew about my first lot of ivf but my husband and I decided to keep this to ourselves. So it’s nice to have someone to try to work it through with!

That’s really annoying your period hasn’t come. I want to stop my meds today but my clinic has insisted I wait until a second beta on Monday. They described it as “early days”. Wtf?! It’s impossible to have 3 days of positive frers and then have a first beta of 3 & a viable pregnancy. Am a bit annoyed about that - I just want af to come. Am hoping that by Monday most of it will be gone.

My son was born on 22nd December - he was a week late. It was fine but it seems weird to me to deliberately try to have another baby with the same birthday!

We are the same we haven't told anyone about this fet. We thought it would be nice to be able to surprise people like normal people do if it worked.

I didn't have any betas done it was really clear from my tests that it hadn't worked. They went from really clear to barely visible. I contacted my clinic and surprisingly they were happy for me to stop meds.

Aww that's completely understandable if you already have a Christmas baby. Must have been a very special one that year!

Please keep in touch it would be good to follow each other's journeys! We will get those babies

Yes exactly! We thought it’d be nice to just, y’know, tell people we were expecting!

That’s good you didn’t need to do betas. I am usually really happy with my clinic but I do find this a bit annoying. The pregnancy is clearly not viable with a beta of 3!

I do wonder if I’m being ridiculous re not wanting another Christmas baby. As you say, that article seems to indicate that there is a positive impact in terms of the immediate next cycle pregnancy rate - if that was the case I might change my mind and go ahead. We’ll see!

Yes definitely let’s stay in touch. (And sorry everyone else for hijacking your thread! Wish I had found it earlier anyway!)

Just did a frer with fmu and am STILL getting a faint but clear positive. The same strength as yesterday (maybe microscopically stronger but not much in it). How is it even possible to get a non-squinter frer result with a beta of 3? Am thinking I might be broken

What day past transfer are you now? I wondered that about frer too. I know my hcg must have been less than 10 as the digi came up negative and then it got fainter the next day but still showing on frer they must pick up ridiculously low levels. Sorry that you are going through this. The not knowing is so hard.

I’m 10dp5dt. Far too late! I’m glad I had the initial beta yesterday rather than Monday as my clinic wanted as I would be clinging to hope -testing obsessively- this weekend otherwise. But there’s no way anything is happening with a beta of 3! It actually makes me wary of using frers again - perhaps they are too sensitive?

Are you still testing positive? This is the worst! I think I would have rather just had a bfn.

Yes I read that frers will detect any level of hcg in your body which does seem to be the case. I tested a couple of days ago and I think it was pretty much negative. Still no af though. Day 4 off the meds just wish it would hurry up now so I can put it behind me.

Ah is that right? Oh well that explains it. I thought they had a threshold of 6ish. Fingers crossed both our af comes soon - last thing I want is a messed up cycle out of all of this.

I read that somebody called the hotline number for first response and that's what they told her. Af just turned up for me!

Oh hurrah! I mean, sorry the cycle has failed, but at least you can draw a line under it now.

Yes that's my feelings exactly x