July 2016 #2

[Bluebell20]

A new thread as we (hopefully) move towards longer sleeps and lovely little smiles!

That is awfully sad news sock hugs to you and your friend. Life really is a bitch. X

Such hard news for you and your friend sock especially at that young age x

Beaut can't believe you manage to get 9oz down M in one sitting! Although we've just started giving E 6oz at 4 weeks+3d as he doesn't seem satisfied with 5oz. I think this is a lot of formula he's having 6 times a day though.

Mrsrolly i love the squishy face picture!

Hope water comes back on soon ruby, what a nightmare.

Definitely not DTD for a while yet! Had episiotomy and 3rd degree tear and although it seems to have healed well I'm still rather nervous about things down there!

sock that's such sad news. It's a horrible disease and affects so many people.

Fingers crossed you get your water back soon ruby.

Gorgeous photos everyone. Hope all the tongue tie and bf issues improve soon. Sorry for no individual replies but the nocturnal one is now asleep and breathing noisily in her cot so I should try to get some sleep.

So sorry socks my heart goes out to you and your best friend. I'd be besides myself if I lost my DH.

How is everyone doing? I seem to have developed a bit of pink eye, at first thought I was so tired that my eye bags were getting puffy when my DH pointed it out to me. Not slept hardly a wink. Was up since 5AM with Lily till 10pm in the night. Had visitors over, and while yes I do love these family members, I just wish we'd had the day af home. Trying not to get so moody with DH, but pretty annoying when he's complaining how tired he is (he's had 10+ hours sleep) and he has a headache 🙄 I've be

I love him to bits but recently the stress of the new baby we seem to be bickering a lot more. I'm still doing all the housework, and BF and looking after madam all hours. Very demanding. He obviously helps looks after her too, does the very odd bit of housework and is a wonderful Dad. He doesn't do well under pressure, and it's really starting to show with Lily. Tbh, I think I'm coping better. Lily cluster fed for five hours. I knew she was comfort sucking again. A dummy, swaddle and the white noise App on my phone sends her to sleep but DH just woke me up telling me she's hungry again. I keep trying to get her to settle without just boob. I dunno, he really does crack under pressure. I've got her to sleep after a feed and swaddle etc. Just not used to bickering with him so much. Hope you are all well xxx

Bluebell - pookie doodle puppy?! I don't know that one! What are the lyrics please?!

Anna - I absolutely agree it's nonsense that bf babies don't need winding. Totally depends on the baby I expect, but mine certainly does!

Sock - I'm so sorry about your friend's dp.

Ruby - hope you get your water sorted very soon.

Beaut - so how big was your "chunky monkey"?!

Cheese - no intimacy here yet. But we've only seen each other at weekends, so less opportunity. I'm sorry you're struggling with your DH. I imagine that's quite normal at this stage. Mine is coping pretty badly too.

I think I might be starting my period. It seems heavier than my lochia has been, but not as heavy as a normal period. And I haven't had any period pains. So maybe it's just heavier lochia? I'm at 6 weeks. What's other people's experience?

There's a good thread in MN Classics called "the two parenting tricks that I learned years too late". Some quite useful stuff in there. Also a quite funny one called "penetration man" if you want something to pass (lots of) time whilst feeding at night!

6w 1d

Cheese - no deed doing over here. Although I would like to now. Simply haven't got time! I can see how people go months and months without sex after having a baby, actually.

Indians - exciting news on the passport!

Ruby - sorry your feeding has become difficult. If there are no support groups, call your HV tomorrow and see if someone can come out to you. And be pushy!

Cookies - the thing is, if the boob guru works and means you don't need formula, then you will save the money you spent on the BG by not having to buy milk! Bit of a gamble though.

Sock - so sorry to hear about your friend. just so awful xx

Cheese - I've been told by about a billion midwives that breast milk is magic for clearing up pink eye. Have a go and report back to us! Sorry your DH is finding things tough. I can't believe you're doing all the housework! Can you ask him to help out a bit more without causing a massive argument?

Julf - pookie doodle drives my husband mad but Ruben likes it best of all my awful songs! Search for it on you tube - there is a video with the words of the song to sing along to! I think it's just that it's quite jolly and Ru likes being bounced to it.

So the tongue tie clip went find this morning - Ru grizzled a bit but was really very good (he screamed a lot this evening though and I think maybe he was sore). He is definitely moving his tongue more and opening his mouth wider, but his latch is exactly the same. I fed him four times today from the breast, and when my nipple got blood all over his top lip I gave up. I don't want to use nipple shields as he just sucks on them like a bottle and mashes my nipples regardless. So I back to expressing and bottle feeding in an attempt to let my nipples heal.

To be honest I'm pretty upset about it. I was so hoping that he would latch better from the off, and now I don't know how I'm going to get him to improve. We are playing tongue games with him to exercise his tongue. We were specifically told not to bottle feed him expressed milk for a couple of weeks but after a lot of thinking (and crying) this afternoon I can't see that I have any other option. I am desperate to continue breast feeding - not least because of it reducing the risk of breast cancer - but I may have to hang up my nursing bras if things don't improve. My new goal is to get to 8 weeks. I am so frustrated and feel that the support from the NHS has been crap. I feel like I'm failing, but I really don't know what else I could possibly have done.

DH has annoyed me a little bit because he thinks I have a low pain threshold (he brings this up a lot and it makes me want to punch him). He acknowledges that I have had it rough and is very supportive about the fact that this isn't my fault, but thinks I would have found feeding hard anyway because essentially he thinks I'm a wimp. This is actually a large part of the reason why I wanted to give birth naturally - so that I could prove to him that I am actually quite good with pain - but of course my body wouldn't let me do that and I had an effing c-section! Grr. He makes me so angry when he brings the pain thing up - I wish he would just drop it.

blue juffin no, he's just not coping. Like at all. When we first moved in together he did everything. I'm worried he's getting depressed again tbh I'm not in touch with my immediate family, but my in laws are everything. Tbh I'm really fucked off. I feel like I'm doing everything by myself. My mum in law has developed this breathing problem, and I know she would be helping if she hadnt gotten ill. But she has anxiety anyway and I don't think she would be helping much because of that. He does the shopping, but its like all of his basic living skills have disappeared. He's been trying to look for a job but to be horribly honest I don't think he's ready yet, I think he's running before he's walking. (Hubs has recovered from very serious depression) He'll help with absolutely everything else and he never asks me to do the housework. He always says how much he appreciates it, but I know if I left it up to him recently, he wouldn't do it. He's missing meals and stuff recently too. All this new stress is becoming too much for him. Itd take the edge off of me if I could express but I can't seem to express at all.
Asides from all of this, our daughter loves him, she cuddles him everyday and it's nice that through this stress he's become a very loving Dad. Just wish he'd do the bloody dishes lol

Sock that's terrible news about your friends dp. Far too young

Cwtches I'm finding dealing with dh far more hard work than baby!

I'm beyond angry with him right now. Last night he offered to do evening and night feed so I could sleep. Asked what the catch was and was he gonna take this back in the middle of the night, he said no he will sleep on sofa til she wakes at about half 10, feed and come up. I wake at half 12, come downstairs and baby still asleep. Tell him to wake and feed (last feed half 6) he says leave her half hour and he will. I go back to bed they come up at 2 but sophie isn't settled - he plonks her in Moses basket as if to say job done! Tell him to go sit and calm her so she's dozy.
She just woke at half 3-hungry because she went so long between feeds. I prodded dh awake he says let her cry 10 mins then he will get up. Why!!?? After words he stroppily gets up and is slamming the fridge n being noisy saying come on let's feed you. Obviously not in a mood that I want him dealing with sophie in. So here I am. Feeding. While he sleeps.

Aibu? He offered me sleep and I took it! Then he mucked up her schedule by not doing a "dream feed" now she's took 2oz and dropped back off. I'm gearing up for a rubbish day tomorrow. So close to telling him to get out.

Cheese, I'm so sorry, that sounds really tough. Mine suffers from depression too but even so I'm afraid I don't have any practical advice, just lots of sympathy.

Sophie - sympathies to you too.

Bluebell, it will take a little while for Ru to relearn his latch. I suggest trying out a completely new position with him - that's what I did with jasper and it worked after a couple of days. But you need to give him a bit more time and keep your hopes up. I'm sorry that you're actually bleeding though - that sounds horribly painful. Hope it heals soon, and that you get better support.

Hope everyone manages to get some sleep.

Bluebell - second trying a new position! Or even a new location in the house where it doesn't have the memories so will hopefully help you to feel fresher trying to latch him on? Poor you it must be so frustrating but it did take Annie a few days to improve - he first 48 hours post-snip weren't great for us but then it got a million times better. Instead of bottle feeding could you use a cup like they do with preemies? If not though just do what you got a do! and accidentally punch your dh in the head while doing it

Cheese - my dh has had crippling depression in the past and now he's on these pills for pain which seem to be mirroring his old symptoms like being really lethargic. I know it's not the same as he will hopefully be back to normal when he's off them but I am also doing 99% of stuff at the moment and the pressure is building :/

Sophie - no yanbu, classic bloody man thing. Dh offered to cook dinner (reheat one of my batch cooked meals) as Annie was being fussy so I was very grateful - when I went to wash up the kitchen was a bomb site with every bloody pan used would have been less stressful if I'd just cooked in the first place! God forbid we say these things though

Feel a bit bad for moaning about him as it isn't his fault really with these pills but he's doing my head in at the moment, I think really I just haven't forgiven him yet for being so shit with emotional support after Annie was born. Hopefully with more counselling from the pnd team I'll work through it.

Bluebell no help around for when husband is away. My family live in London and DHs mum has just finished Chemo. I'll be fine. I'll just get myself into a good routine.
I hope the feeding improves soon. Are their not any breast feeding support groups in your area. Do you have a sure start centre nearby?

Cwthces we have dtd four times since the birth of Monty-Beau. He's 7 weeks. But in that time DH has had an operation/hospital stay and a vasectomy.

MrsRolly what a gorgeous boy. Those lips and I love a chubby baby.

Cookies are you enjoying breast feeding ? You have to do what's best for you. Don't put pressure on yourself to keep going if it's not right for you.
I wanted to ask you about your Phil & Teds. Ds3 is using it loads he asks to go in it all the time and falls asleep. We have the vibe. But it's so so heavy I struggle to put it in the car. I'm thinking of getting a sport one instead or and out and about nipper. I need to check if nipper will fit the boot. Which one do you have?

Sock that's truly awful. How sad. Your poor poor friend. Just let her know that you are there for her if she needs an ear.

Julfin I got my days mixed up. He is getting weighed today.

To those asking about managing such a big feed with M. I've done this with all 4 of my children. I think that's how I managed to get them all sleeping through. I tickle his feet or blow lightly on his face to keep him awake. He doesn't always manage the entire 9oz but does manage the 6 hours stretch of sleep. Which for now I'm taking.

7 weeks today

Beaut wow 9oz. Ben was 11lb 5oz at six weeks, now at 9 weeks were still on 5oz 3hrly through the day and then he goes 7-9 hours at night. To funny how they can all be so different. My friends little girl is 8 weeks and only taking 2oz (occasionally 3oz) every 3hours or so. She looks so tiny next to Ben.

Julfin my period came at 8 weeks pp, it was lighter than my normal period. All lochia has stopped at 3 weeks for me.

I'm off to get the contraceptive injection today. Me and DH were back DTD by 4 weeks pp but I had an easy delivery with no tear or stitches

Sock that's awful news for your friend. I can't imagine how devastated she must be.

So funny not to funny!!!

beaut mine is a basic classic (poss v2?) which I've had for years and yes it is heavy. I think it's roughly the same as my friends in weight and I think she has a sport. I have no experience of a nipper sorry. Worth noting she has a fiesta and still manages to get her double in the boot! Do you put MB in the caccoon and Ted in the seat on top? I'm longing to be able to put George in the under seat position as I think it will be easier

How did your MiL do on her chemo? I hope its been a success for her.

There are times when I really enjoy it, and times when I don't. I would give it up, but I know I would be sad and regret it. I've pondered over combi feeding but last time
It lead me to wean her before I was ready and really regretted it.

bluebell I second others that he will need to relearn, so new position would be helpful? I've not found the NHS a great help with BF over the years and it's really frustrating. I think you're being very hard on yourself - you sound to me like you've tried everything and worked your damn arse off, you don't have to prove anything to anyone. You've been amazing. Myself included probably wouldn't have preserved through all you've had. You've literally done everything ! My only suggestion would be to have some help again with the latch now it's been snipped? Can you respond to the NHS person who got in touch too late before? Be kind to yourself and nothing is worth if it's making you utterly miserable. Lots of tea and cake for you. Or wine. (Disclaimer- I've drank whilst BF- please no one call the breastfeeding police. !)

cheese Deffo boobie milk for pink eye! If it doesn't heal by itself then docs for drops. Does Lily have it too? Baby G had it really bad a few weeks ago, I was glad I went to the docs when I did

sunday ouch I would too! Even with a few stitches I was super nervous!

I'm really sorry to hear of you suffering with 'difficult' partners. Thank you for sharing because it's quite a similar story here and it has made me feel better that I'm not alone with it. A lot of Men can't seem to handle the loss of control / not being able to fix a problem. I've found my husband better over the years, just not good with newborn stage. Adding depression into the mix just makes things so tough. Does anyone else feel like they're mothering theirs as an extra child?! And having to congratulate them a million times over, from doing the smallest thing?!

I think everyone is doing a bloody brilliant job despite stupid DHs/DPs and we should all take a moment in our day to remind and tell ourselves this! #supermammas and yes I did just hash tag!!

My period started just a few days ago - Adams 9 weeks today. DH and I have DTD a few times in past few weeks but only when little sir allows it! It still hurts a bit - like losing my virginity all over again!

Difficult partners are annoying - dh is slowly getting better and more patient. I feel as he gets better, I get worse! Especially on colicky evenings, I don't actually feel like I'm coping very well.

We had our first session of baby massage today - was brilliant! I have a very chilled out little man! Hopefully it'll help him poo!

My brave little boy after his jabs. He's been home had a bottle and his calpol, a wriggle on his play mat giving me lots of smiles and now he's having a snooze and a cuddle. I cried like a baby!!!

The chunky monkey weighs 13lb. 7weeks exactly

Gorgeous pics beaut and becks! Am interested to hear how everyone gets on after the jabs, whether baby is unsettled afterwards or has a temperature etc. ours aren't for another 4 weeks but id like to know what to expect.

Bluebell I've no experience so I've no advice to offer but I'm sorry the snip hasn't had an immediate improvement in bf. Hope some of the suggestions these other lovely ladies have will help.

Some of your comments regarding your DHs feelings sound familiar here too. Mine is great with E and takes him off my hands whenever he's home to give me a break but he finds it hard to understand that tiredness makes me emotional. He'll get upset when I'm upset, which doesn't help either of us.

Having had another bad unsettled night I've sought some advice and got a prescription for gaviscon for E as I suspected reflux. Fingers crossed it helps as he didn't settle until 4am this morning. Glad I trusted my instincts as I was worried I was being OTT taking him to gps.