July 2016

[primarynoodle]

Hopefully this works...

So we can keep in touch and pass on words of wisdom!

Perhaps someone clever could link to the stats?

Good luck sock!

dats good to know that it does get easier, I will keep telling myself that.

Also have issues with the right side - can't decide whether this is a latch issue or not and all our local bf groups seem to be term time only, no good for me now :(

Question for all you who know more than me:
Because I had to at the beginning, have been expressing both boobs and giving a bottle twice a day. This is producing about three full bottles, so freezer is getting full! If I was to reduce the amount I express, how do I go about this? And should I wait until he's a bit older - ie 6 weeks or so - before messing with what am doing too much? Am scared of causing some sort of issue/infection or reducing supply too much too early.

In more amusing news, literally jet-washed the poor boy with milk last night!

Good work on making it to church socks and glad it was a nice experience!

Okay, help, ladies. Ruben had extremely dry flakey skin when he was born due to being seriously over cooked. Mostly this has come off his face now (confession - every time there was a big dry flake I peeled it away rather than letting it take days to fall off naturally). However his head has started to flake a little bit too - though nothing like as badly, and for the most part I have left that alone. We have also noticed he's lost a lot of hair in front the last couple of days, although way more than the little areas that are flakey so I didn't think it was related. Buuuut... There was a big bit of dry skin sticking up off his scalp just now so I peeled it off, and a load of hair came with it! Like about 20 little baby hairs. Obviously I have learned my lesson and will not pick again, but omg is this normal or have I actually damaged my son's tiny little scalp? I've had a look and I think there are a few hairs left growing where the dry skin was, so I am hoping maybe that is the 'true' hair? Argh argh argh. Bad mummy.

Blue Ben's head was like this and he lost all the hair at the front. I think I rubbed it all off trying to rub off the dry skin. It's all growing back now although it seems a lot lighter. He now no longer has a dry flaky head either. Reuben will be fine. DD had really bad cradle cap as a baby, I loved picking at all the scales!!

bluebell congrats on your 23 minute delivery! Turn the light on next time! Baby hair often falls out, it's really common so nothing to worry about. DD was born with quite a lot of hair but when I was looking back at photos of her at a few weeks, she was a right baldy. DS has even more, so we'll see if the same happens!

Elliz congrats on house move! Hope things aren't too much in disarray!

Rolly how's Raff and the sick? DS has been a bit less sick yesterday and today but it's still featuring. He's still fairly unsettled too. Didn't eat much overnight but then had some longer feeds this morning.

Does reflux suddenly develop? Can't for the life of me remember if DD was puking from the off. I got infant Gaviscon at our 6 week check though, so clearly it was an issue then.

Olympics question: when playing beach volleyball, is it really necessary for the women to wear bikinis?? The men aren't in Speedos...

One day old, checking out the world already.

Thanks becks and dats,glad to know it is vaguely normal! I have also just had a look in his Moses basket and there are hundreds of hairs on the sheet, so he's clearly losing a lot at the mo as part of a natural process. He has the hairline of an 85 year old, bless him. It really is in exactly the areas where men's hairlines recede!

Elliz I really do want a pic of that spice rack... V envious of your forever home. DH wants to move from here within the next twelve months, but I don't like the feeling that everything is temporary! I hope we find our forever home next time!

dats I still can't really believe that beach volleyball is really an Olympic sport played by international teams. I thought growing up that it solely happened in episodes of Sweet Valley High. A bit like Quidditch and Harry Potter.

pulpi Miguel is gorgeous!

Primary - so sorry for your loss, and thinking of you.

Sock, Sophie, and other ladies - I'm so sorry to hear that you're suffering.

Pulpi - many congratulations! And the long-awaited name is gorgeous!

Indians/Tams/Dats - what is (would be) the boiling/boiled water for? (I'll try anything...)

Elliz - congratulations on your forever home!

Bluebell, I remember with great fondness the time you got stuck in the toilet at work, and enjoyed your latest story even more 😄 I wish I could remember which thread the first story was on...

Cheery - the Nct woman who told you BF is enjoyable is a complete lunatic. I'm finding it a nightmare and getting harder as he's increasingly struggling to latch, for some reason, and my nipples are agony. It probably doesn't help that he has fingernails like a thousand little daggers. I've now bought myself a medela swing single (wish I'd bought a double, even if it does make me feel like a dairy cow...). I'm hoping it'll help in the long-term once I've got used to it.

Socks, I have a farty baby too. It's absurdly loud and frequent, and doesn't seem to correlate to doing a poo. It seems to cause him a lot of pain - he writhes around a lot and cries. It's not necessarily after feeding - often just in the middle of the night. A couple of times recently I've found that if I pick him up when he does it, and pat his back for a while, he burps instead and the farting dies down a bit. And I gave him a tummy massage this morning which resulted in lots of brown poo (for the first time - the rest has been yellow or green) and he's been fairly chilled all day since then.

I've been reading but lying low lately, as I've been finding it hard to put on paper where I'm at. So much going through my head the last couple of weeks, most of which doesn't make much sense. But in short, I'm trying to get diagnosed with PND, or something. I've never felt like this before. I'm hoping at some point this whole thing will get easier. At the moment it's totally overwhelming, and not in a good way.

3 weeks 3 days

Hugs to you julfin. It's just horrendous when you can't even explain how you're feeling to yourself. I completely understand and I'm in a similar place right now.

However much I love my little fellow, I find myself mentally and emotionally struggling, especially during the week if I'm in the house on my own. I can't explain it to dh, when I do I just sound completely crazy and off keel.

Anyone else got a very sleepy baby? Adam really hasn't stayed awake for any proper period of time today! He took 1oz of his milk then fell asleep again!

julfin sending you lots of love. You sound like I felt with DD - had some very dark days at the beginning. It does get better, I promise, but good that you're seeking help. Try and talk on here - you def aren't alone. Never underestimate what you're going through. It's a huge life change, unlike any other, impossible to prepare for - there's a reason people don't tell you about it before you have children. The human race would die out! You're riddled with hormones and recovering from the birth, so you're already mentally and physically on the back foot. And then you have the allegedly blissful but in reality, likely difficult bf journey. Someone's else's nutrition being your sole responsibility. When you've had no sleep and not a moment to yourself for three weeks. And someone's little screwed up, purple face shrieking at you. And there's not really a 'break' because you're always on duty. It's hardly surprising it's so overwhelming. On paper it sounds like actual torture. Which sometimes it is. I love both my babies but do I sometimes feel resentful of the time, life and sleep-stealing? Yes. I'm a huge fan of being honest about this stuff and not pretending to cope - we need to shine lights for each other. Hang in there, lovely - have you got an appt to talk to your GP or HV? xx

julfin I'm sorry you're feeling so rubbish. Sending hugs. If it helps then you should definitely talk to someone about it - dh/gp/hv/friends/on here. I know that's often easier said than done. I find it easier to "talk" on here about emotions than to talk to dh so if that's what you need then use us! A friend of dh with a toddler said that the first six weeks were the hardest for them and then it settled down a bit. Things will get easier, you just don't know when at the moment. Is there a bf clinic near you that you could go to about the latch? It might be good to have someone to look at what's going on. Can things change as babies get older and bigger?

The boiled water thing is something my mum mentioned (and it came up in antenatal classes). People used to give babies boiled water in a bottle if they thought they were thirsty rather than hungry. The midwives in antenatal classes said that it wasn't needed for bf babies and advised against it but the other week when it was hot there were suggestions that it might be appropriate then.

bluebell thanks for the story. Not pleasant for you but made me smile!

julfin huge hugs to you. So sorry you're having a rough time but great that you're seeking help. Brave and brilliant of you xxxx you've made me feel better about the BF too. Glad it's not just me struggling!

ruby it's my right boob that's tricksy - why oh why?!!!

pulpi - what a cutie! Well cooked you!

sock glad it went well today

Julfin sorry to hear your feeling so low. I think it's completely normal to have feelings like that. I certainly felt it at times with DD. Parenthood wasn't what I was expecting, it was so so much harder than I thought, DH was not very helpful and it certainly put our relationship under great strain. There were times I just wanted to scream and run away. I didn't have PND. Definitely speak to someone GP/HV, the sooner the better. Hugs to you.

Sock I have the opposite, Ben can go all day on a couple of 10-20min naps if we're out and about doing things. I think that's why he sleeps do well at night.

Today was the first day since I came home from hospital that we have stayed at home! We've been out and about every single day even if it's just to the park for a few hours with DD. First time around I didn't get out and about to anywhere other than the supermarket until DD was about 3 months old!!!!

Boiled water is not needed for breast or formula fed babies as far as I remember. They will feed more if thirsty. It can sometimes be recommended for constipated babies I think.

julfin I'm sorry you're not feeling good. It sounds like you are getting help - well done for that; it can't be easy. As others have said, keep talking. We are all here for you if we can help.

Ruben just slept through from 2130 to 0140. More than four hours, people! I am a very happy camper over here. Although wow my boobs were Pamela Anderson-style hard when I woke up. Thankfully he was awake enough to feed from both sides or I would have definitely had to express.

Do you guys snack during the night feeds? I'm terrible for it - especially sweet snacks. I quite fancy a 3am slice of cake now, but sadly we are all out, and a slice of bread doesn't have the same appeal..,

Indians, hooray for your MIL being gone! I am throwing virtual confetti your way! How long is she staying for when she returns?

bluebell I just ate the last biscuit at the midnight feed. Don't know what I'm going to do now!

I am lying beside a baby who has been writhing and grunting in his sleep for a solid 2 hours. Usually hell sleep silently for 20 mins between grunts. But not tonight. I think he desperately needs a poo or a fart but it's just not happening for him. He's not awake so I'm not taking him through to feed him. Seems like he's happy to sleep on me though but I want to sleep too!

julfin - I hope you are ok, and you are doing the right thing by seeking help now. It is so hard going from a busy life / job to sleep deprivation and life dominated by feeding. I was talking to my OH over the weekend how hard it is and the guilt you feel about feeling that way. Sending you lots of hugs. You are being incredibly brave expressing your feelings and talking openly about it. I agree with dats that we should be open and not feel ashamed about it. I find it so helpful to talk on this thread, as we are all going through it together at the same time, no one judges, and we can all relate to what is being said.
bluebell - it must be catching. Emmie had her best night sleep so far last night. It feels amazing. I am sure it is a one off but it was amazing!!
I have my operation today.... Feeling very nervous and worried about it all. My mum and dad are coming over to help out. I won't be able to do much afterwards so going to take over during the day while OH is at work later in the week. Not sure how I am going to cope at night but I am sure we will find a way. OH is going to have to step up.... Let's see what happens! Fingers crossed it all goes well.
Going to have lots of snuggles this morning before I go in this afternoon. Not sure when my next cuddle will be

All this talk of cakes and biscuits is making me hungry! Currently stuck to the pump though.

thom good luck for today. I hope the op goes well and you have a speedy recovery. Glad you've got your parents around to help. Are they staying with you too?

Julfin well done you for seeking help. It takes courage to take that step. I remember well the massive adjustment that becoming a parent for the first time is. It does get better and easier. I found it helpful to indulge in something each day and to really focus on enjoying it. Gilmore Girls, cake, Starbucks mocha frap, fancy shampoo and conditioner are all things that featured. for you

juflin bless you. Keep talking and know that no first time mum doesn't have dark days. I remember being so overwhelmed with DD I wanted to make myself have an accident or get ill purely to get a break in hospital for a few days to rest. I thought I was going mad but when I said this to family and friends they all said they felt the same. Please don't feel bad for feeling this way. Nothing can prepare you for being a mum and the demands it puts on you, your body, your mind, your relationship etc. I promise it does get easier but don't be afraid to ask for help. Someone to take baby so you can go to the shop or for a coffee or to go have a nice shower and sleep. Sending you a hug X

thom good luck for today. Will be thinking of you and hope it all goes ok. I know you want to get that babe in your arms ASAP but make sure you look after yourself and recover. Sending you a hug too x

Well Grace is the opposite of my first baby. She has long feeds I.e 1.5 hour where she's off and on but then she sleeps for 3/4 hours which is amazing! I'm sure it won't last but enjoying it whilst I can. Grace has only lost 6% of weight which is great. I also got my stitches out. My scar is still hurting a lot but I'm trying to take it mega easy. DD1 at nursery today so got DH doing jobs around the house.

I'm with you on the starving in the night! Had a cereal bar at 4 a.m lol. Am really hungry today too. Trying to be good as want to lose my weight my Xmas but thinking of starting that I'm a few weeks and just enjoy sitting on my him eating crap!

I think we all deserve to eat crap at the moment. I don't really intend to start trying to lose weight until the wee man is into s proper routine and I can start thinking about myself again.

I'm not sure how I'm going to explain the absence of a whole 6 packs of freddos to my dh when he gets in from work...

Talking of losing weight, ive joined weight watchers online. I definitely need to lose at least 4 stone and we've decided to go abroad next summer and I want to look good in a bikini. It would be nice to look good at the works Xmas party too so I'm on it!!

Haha sock, one of my friends refers to that kind of chocolate consumption as a 'snaccident'!

thom very best for today. I can only imagine how difficult it must be. Wishing you a speedy recovery and lots of navy snuggles as soon as possible.

Anna I can imagine how desperate I might get for a break at some point - thanks for being so honest about how you felt last time. I was really snippy with DH when he came back from the gym this morning - and when I looked at why, I was basically pissed off that he could go to the gym and I couldn't. And that while he was at the gym I was tied to the chair, feeding! Interestingly though he did say yesterday that he hasn't been at all envious of my experience of being pregnant, but he was envious of the closeness of breastfeeding.

Floss I think a treat per day is a really good thing to aim for. I've done that in some of my darkest anxiety periods and it helped lots. We should all aim for it! Xxx

Obviously baby snuggles,not navy!