July 2016

[primarynoodle]

Hopefully this works...

So we can keep in touch and pass on words of wisdom!

Perhaps someone clever could link to the stats?

[AReindeerNamedDave]

Ha ha sorry, name-change fail. This is Julfin x

[AReindeerNamedDave]

Oh wow I've just seen this. I remember you were another name before CheekyChick - was it Mel? Im so happy to (very belatedly!) hear your news. How is he doing? x

[purpleviolet1]

Lots of new faces on here but also some old names which I recognise. I was part of the July 2016 ante natal club but unfortunately I miscarried (used to post under cheekychick$$$). I fell pregnant quickly after and was due in January 2017 but unfortunately miscarried again. I was fortunate to fall pregnant shortly after though and I just wanted to let you know I've had a lovely little boy! 12 days old. He is the most perfect thing ever xxx

[primarynoodle]

Have replied on new thread...

[socktastic]

Feeling really bad for my little guy this morning. From about 4am onwards he was fussing, couldn't settle him for long with has dummy. To my eyes he's sore, trying to fart and I think he's got a big poo getting ready to come out. Eventually got up at 5 when there was just no settling him and he screamed the house down. He wouldn't take a bottle at all.

Cue dh getting up because he'd heard me crying and I obviously needed help. He took a bottle for his daddy of course! Then was promptly passed back to me because "I have to get up for work tomorrow" even though tomorrow is a work from home day and get up time is 8.55 I guess I don't need sleep!

Got him back down at quarter to 6 and he's slept for half an hour before waking up again. To my eyes he's in need of a massive poo and is in loads of pain. The fact there's nothing i can do is breaking my heart.

[AnnaT45]

Oh blue expressing is the hardest thing ever. It takes twice as long to do the feeds and then you have bottles to wash etc. I really feel for you. Also on sorry about DH. I've said it before but men are useless on no sleep I think. DH is dealing with DD1 whose sleep is back to crap and he's so grumpy! He was getting so stressed about Grace feeding loads that he went and got some pre made formula bottles for ms lol. I admit I tired one and it didn't work! When is the breastfeeding support group? I really feel for you having to wait to get some help when you're in pain. Stay strong, you're doing awesome. Just try nap today when ru does and maybe start alternating expressing and breastfeeding to have a break?

ruby, dats sorry to hear you've had bad days too. Must be something in the air! Ruby the staring at you thing did make me giggle a bit, sorry. Dats that's amazing sleep! I bet you couldn't believe it?

primary good idea! I do have a swing chair but think she's a tad small. Going to get DH to get it out though so I can try as it worked wonders with DD1!

Grace finally stopped feeding at 11 and slept till 2. Had an hour feed then slept another 2.5 hours. So not too bad all in all. Just feeding now and hoping for another hour before I've got two of them to look after!

Hope you all had good nights. It's been really warm here!

[Bluebell20]

Started a new thread for when this one is full!

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/2711404-July-2016-2?watched=1

[Bluebell20]

Ruby try and tickle his feet to wake him up and feed some more! Xx

[Bluebell20]

Indians thank you for that. It really struck a chord with me - I am absolutely fearing each feed, and yet desperate to do it! I have hated today because I've had to let others bottle feed him or I wouldn't have had a moment's break between expressing and sterilising - I felt like I had barely seen him, I've got so used to the hours of connection on the breast. I'm so glad that Hallie is feeding so well!

Anna thanks and sorry about your day. The one thing I do always try to do is eat a hot dinner, even if it's reheated and even if I bolt it. I've made sure my DH knows that is a priority!

dats - ugh. I empathise. I remember laughing at the posters in hospital that say to wash your hands before and after going to the loo, changing a maternity pad, changing your baby's nappy, feeding your baby... I was like, well, I don't need to do that afters because I am just going from one of those tasks to another, so every before is an after!

primary what is the difference between biological nurturing and laid back feeding? I was mistakenly under the impression that they were the same thing!

I've had to get DH to help tonight as I can't do the cycle of pump sterilise change feed solo. I've only had two and a half hours' sleep since 9.30pm. He is so useless! All he has done so far is feed the baby once ( and he woke me up to change him while he warned the bottle) and then after a separate feed (which I did to give DH more sleep) I asked him to wind him and put him down while I pumped. He was so grumpy about it because ru wouldn't go to sleep immediately (I explained that this is what I have four times a night every night) and then said he was surprised at how needy the baby was!!!!!!! Then (this is the best bit) he told me to stop browsing the Internet on my phone while I pumped, and to use my spare hand to stroke and soothe the baby so that he could go back to sleep!!!

I did comply but could not resist pointing out that lack of sleep was making him a tad grumpy (he has been quick to criticise how grumpy I have been in the mornings recently!). I must say it is worth the crappy disturbed night just so that DH has a little more comprehension of why I am a wreck at the moment!

Also, I have had the worst nightmares the past two nights - as bad as when I was in hospital. I think it's a combination of super disturbed sleep and the added stress of the feeding situation. (pulpi have your nightmares stopped yet?)

Also just wanted to say that Julfin, I've been thinking of you and hope you are doing okay. Xxx

[Rubytuesday2980]

Yep, cheery, anna and dats, clingyness here as well. At one point today he's only settle if we both sat still and he could stare at my face. Slightly disconcerting and completely impractical.

How long is the developmental thing supposed to last cheery? Take the comment as a compliment, and give yourself a pat on the back for not telling her to mind her own flipping business!

sophie, as indians says, if weight gain etc is fine, then it's just annoying so try not to worry.

See, bluebell, you also have supermum skills - stiles?! I wish someone would invent a way to feed and water new mums, it's so hard to manage to eat and drink, plus the tiredness on top. My intake of sugary crap is going up and I know it's not making me feel any better.

I'm a swaddling fan and read that it's ok in the heat as long as you adjust layers underneath for room temp - am obsessed with our bedroom temp as a result - H is often down to just a vest or nappy underneath. However, have had to stop as it was making the wriggling/grunting worse for some reason, so now we're having to spend more time getting him to sleep, joy

primary not sure am not wiser, but maybe it's the heat making Annie so sleepy?

becks that's ridiculous. Well done for standing your ground.

Yay, 2.30am. Having just wrestled the flailing, angry, chomping small boy onto the boob, he's fallen asleep after 10 mins. So much for longer stretches of sleep the other day, looking forward to getting up in another hour and a half already. Not.

[primarynoodle]

ruby that's interesting re: 5/6 week sickly period, seems a few of us have experienced that! Annie seems to be largely over it now touch wood

rose that's pissed me off for you, I hope dh grows a pair and tells them to behave soon. His attitude sounds like my dp's and it sucks grr

cheery beyond jealous that you have to wake mo up for feeds! I would let him sleep, once they are a few weeks old (unless prem) and putting on weight enjoy the sleep!

anna Annie throws these hungry days at me sometime and they're so demoralising but they are usually followed by some calm, sleepy days so hang on in there and dream about your super mum antics ;) do you have a bouncer chair? Grace might be a little bit young yet but I discovered today that as long as Annie is sitting in it by my ankles while I crack on with stuff she's pretty chill for a bit whereas before I was leaving it in the lounge and she would just scream.

sock Annie does this when she needs a poo, she head butts and fusses like crazy but will not be taken away from the nipple... 2 minutes later and all is well again lol

rolly I've been too scared to swaddle because of the heat but when I've tried it after bathtime in the towel she seems to hate it - possibly because I'm crap at swaddling, maybe if it was unreadable it would work... She wakes herself up flailing around sometimes!

becks what a joke! Why on earth would they not immunise Ben because you haven't had your pn check?! Well done for kicking off though. Mine are on the 2nd and I'm dreading it

sunday have you tried nipple shells for collecting milk? I've collected 180ml today and no expressing required, I'm not planning on giving regular bottles but it's a handy backup for the freezer for future babysitting

bluebell biological nursing is a joke with a newborn, they can't hold their heads up! I've tried a few times and each time I've lost Annie's face in my boob I'm positive it's a skill that can only be mastered once babies can hold their heads up... That or I'm missing something! Laid back works well for me though, that's how I do night feeds and it's a much more comfortable feeding position for my nips than anything else. Stop being so hard on yourself though! You're doing fantastically, if my experience of bf had been like yours I'd have given up already. I think you're amazing for persevering! Give side lying feeding a go if you can, that's another comfy one and I can sometimes get an extra 30/40 mins of sleep like that - let me know if you want some tips.

I still can't get Annie to take a bottle properly, I know she's getting some milk but I think that's leaks from the teat as she isn't sucking. She sort of does from dp but not at all for me, stressing me a little bit as I was looking forward to being able to go out for dinner with friends or whatever in a few weeks time... That won't happen if I'm her only source of feeding!

Also wiser mums, she's started napping loads in the day over the last few days, As in two good 3-4 hour stretches during the daytime (annoying as this doesn't occur at night!) should I be waking her up? Not to feed necessarily but is she napping for too long? I try to gently stir her and I'm deliberately loud but she stays fast off..

[dats]

Shit day here, too! Been puked on and screamed at all day, apart from when boob stuffed in gob. Literally from the moment we got home from taking DD to nursery at 9am it was this endless cycle of feed, scream, grunt, burp, vom, scream, sleep for 5 minutes and just as I was preparing to do something - that ambitious of tasks, the washing up - more screaming then rooting. And repeat. Did manage a brief nap at 3.30 while I rocked his chair with my foot while I dozed on the sofa but crikey it was dull, difficult, frustrating and exhausting!

Last night I fed him at 9 and then he slept until 4 - wtf? And then had a big feed and wouldn't bloody settle. I chuffing hate wind, it's totes the bane of my life.

Bluebs great news about lump, really glad for you. And yes to what others have said, you're doing great. It's HARD! It's also still reeeeaaally early days. It will get better xx

Nodding off, night x

[AnnaT45]

Brag should be beat!!! Bloody phone

[AnnaT45]

blue you mustn't brag yourself up like that. How you give birth or how you feed your child doesn't make you a good mum. It's so much more than that !

Well I'm having a shit day. Grace has cluster Fed all day., has been on me since 2 and still going. She cries if I put her down or give her to DH. I've tried a dummy, Ewan the sheep and even a bottle of formula. But none worked she just wants the boob. I'm knackered and now DD1 isn't sleeping so DH trying to sort her out. Having a newborn is so bloody overwhelming! Barely ate my dinner and have a headache as struggling to drink enough. I know I should take care of me but honestly she is relentless today. I'm just praying after all this feeding she gives me a four hour stretch as I need it!!!

Rant over

[Bluebell20]

Thanks Ruby and Cheery. Yeah Ruby I haven't eaten or drunk as much as usual today as I've been so frazzled - I need to watch that! Good psychic mum skills you've got there!

Cheery I didn't realise that had happened with your placenta - yikes! Sounds pretty effing stressful! Did you continue laid back feeding with Mo? I think I will have another go because it's the only time he's latched on to my left boob with no pain - but I don't know if that is also because I'd had a ten hour break due to pumping most of the day.

Also, had to laugh over that mum's comment. Take it as a compliment!!

I have just given myself a kick up the arse and reminded myself that I could have had a different outcome with the lump yesterday, and that this is all very minor in the grand scheme of things. My husband also pointed out earlier (after I had a terribly self-indulgent sob over th feeding situation) that not having a mum to come and stay to help out for a couple of weeks - as many of our friends' mums have as a matter of course - has also put me on the back foot a bit. Which I guess is the same for you, Cheery. Another reason not to be hard on ourselves!

Sophie I don't know too much about vomming I'm afraid... Is she formula or breast fed? Does she vom when you put her down to sleep too, or just for changing?

My positive for the day is I used a close caboo sling that my friend lent me and it was amazing! I climbed gates and stiles and everything!

[Sophiesausage]

Anyone else's baby sick every single time they change them? Sophie sicks every time, whether it's before after during feeding, even up to a couple hours after a feed, as soon as you put her down sick is guaranteed. Have tried raising the head of mat but don't know if it's at enough of an angle? Have a towel under head about 2 inches thick- should I go more so more Sat up? IHealth visitor said could try gaviscon to keep milk down but causes constipation so would just be replacing one issue with another...

[Cheery1]

Last post promise! Mo screaming so much in park today that another mum patted my arm and told me I was doing really well, she didnt know how shed cope......should I be insulted or proud?

[Cheery1]

Also Mo so unsettled these last few days, so clingy. Apparently it's a developmental leap thing but crikey it's hard work! He only sleeps in the sling with me moving around and does marathon feeds but is never satisfied. Tearing hair out slightly!! Hoping he calms down soon - hate to see him so distressed, also my poor boobs are crumbling under the pressure!

[Cheery1]

laid back not laud!

[Cheery1]

Oh bluebell don't beat yourself up! You're doing so brilliantly - you've fed Ru until your nipples were bleeding for crying out loud! Ok so laud back feeding...that's what NCT suggested to me. First time we did it, Mo kicked me on my scar and bit my nipple really hard - was so awful it was comedy! Also my body didn't go into labour and my placenta basically fell off mid labour hence emergency c section. You're okay, we did okay. Our babies are here safely and we're doing our best. Really hope you get some support. Sending virtual hugs xxxx

[Rubytuesday2980]

Bluebell you are absolutely, completely and utterly not inadequate. Your body grew and nurtured a whole human being and that same little person is now growing and thriving in the world because of you. Nobody is perfect and the Internet is full of crap to make us all feel like s^!+ and unfortunately, it's so immediate that it's where we all go when we're feeling crappy. Take a look at your gorgeous boy and feel proud of yourself.

How often are you trying to express? If you can, leave a good 2-3 hours between each attempt to give your body a rest and a chance to build up your supply.

And in my most 'mumsy' voice - have you eaten properly today and have you drunk enough water.

Deep breath lovely lady xx

[Bluebell20]

Ive now spoken to a breastfeeding consultant too who recommended laid back feeding or biological nurturing. Spent 30 mins watching videos online, had a go, Ru did OK the first time although I couldn't work out how to stop his nose being buried in my breast. Second time was a shit latch and I couldn't make it work. I then tried expressing because he was still crying and got absolutely nothing.

I feel like a total failure and I am so pissed off. My body wouldn't go into labour naturally, then the induction didn't work, and now my latch is crap. After all the videos I've watched of people's perfect looking pointing nipples and calmly latching babies I feel totally and utterly inadequate. Ugh.

[sundaysunday]

Typical. MIL has come round to give me a helping hand and E has been fast asleep in his bouncer since she arrived! I need to be a bit braver sock and leave him too it a little longer. Managed to have breakfast yesterday by putting him in the sling but I'm hoping it just a phase.

Bluebell the best time to express is during the night for max productivity but I found it too difficult to find time to do it as my DH doesn't really help with night feeds. Hope the nips heal quickly.

I have given up (hate that phrase) with expressing, it just isn't working for me and I'm happier for it. Still breast feeding before giving the formula, though Im not sure I'm producing much milk.