March 2016: the one where Indomitable gives birth...

[vroc81]

I hope I haven't duplicated a new March thread in my sleep deprived state.. Went to reply and found thread was full!..

Also here's a picture of my munchkin at 17 days old! So cute! 😍😍😍

Vroc the sling seemed better on the train than it did on the tube so I think I must have tightened it better and/or positioned E better. We survived the train and are now at my parents. E and I are snuggled up in front of the coal fire. I am nervous about doing all night by myself though. Dh and I have been sharing last week and I've loved it.

Marmite such a beauty!

Oh marmite what beautiful big eyes!

purple you are amazing doing that journey on your own, hope the return journey is plain sailing.

Cassidy has been very grumpy this evening, sounds like she is in pain every now and again, think it could be trapped wind or possibly slight reflux as she has been a bit sick after a few feeds, will keep an eye on it.

She is gorgeous Marmite!

Wow, there's so much to catch up on after being out of it for three days! Mastitis had me in bed with a fever, all dizzy when I tried to get up and struggling to do anything but feed the baby. Antibiotics have helped and I think I fed through it quite a lot, it's definitely not something I ever want to repeat. Thank goodness dh was still on paternity leave!

Dh goes back tomorrow, I've got them both by myself for the first time. I'm nervous but at the same time quite looking forward to starting to set up some kind of routine and to seeing if I can manage and be all capable and impressive. We'll see!

Now to catch up on everything I missed...

Hello, honeymoon period has warn off here.

DS2 has been mucking around since 2am. Feeding and pooing his way through all the nappies, and now screeching to be fed but then just mucking around & not latching on and descending into full screaming.

Only cure seems to be sucking on my finger.

Last night he was great (feed & sleep for 2 hours, and repeat), but I have a feeling this is the new normal.

Sorry to hear you had a bad night indom. Night 2 with E was similar as milk was coming in (happens earlier second time round) but it was just one night so hopefully will be the same for you.

Had a better night with E last night in that I could co sleep with her on her back, though she's still waking three times a night so not quite getting a 2 hour stretch of sleep regularly yet as she often feeds for ages. I'm also still suffering from oversupply so my boobs are rock solid despite having fed her at 12.30, 3 and 5.45

suz glad you managed to get through the mastisis ok - good luck with your first day alone with two!

purple glad you got to your parents ok!

Indom sorry to hear about your bad night. I was coming on to say J slept for a 5.5hr stretch last night but feel bad now. He is over 4 weeks though so there is an end in sight for you!

Suz the mastitis sounds awful. Glad you're over the worst and good luck on you're own today.

Marmite that is such a beautiful photo! Gorgeous.

Purple you are very brave doing that journey. I'm only just contemplating going into town today with the sling and DS1 in tow.

I second the recommendation for Waitrose Bottom Butter for dry skin. We use it after every bath for DS1 and his skin is lovely.

Sorry to hear about your bad night indomitable, like the others we had the same on that day, ours got loads better after my milk came in on day 3. She's even done a couple of six hour stretches since (though sadly not consistently, and not last night, yawn).

I don't have grand plans for our first solo day, but think even so I might be surprised by how little we manage! None of us are washed or dressed yet, waiting for the baby to feed and nod off so I can have a shower. I want to tidy up, Hoover and walk to the shops, all before my mum comes this afternoon. Perhaps optimistic???

suz glad you are feeling better.

indom hopefully last night was a one off not the night before!

I'm not sure if I fed C once ir twice last night, I remember waking at 1.30 but she was only stirring and then I can't remember if she woke properly and I fed her or if we both fell back to sleep! I fed her at 4.30 which would imply I fed her at 1.30 as she normally goes 3 hours but I think all the night feeds are blurring into 1, maybe I sleep fed her!

Hi everyone, I have been absent from the thread for a long time, congrats to all the babies who have now arrived! Especially Indom, can't believe you missed March by a couple of hours!

DS arrived on 3rd March so is now a month old. The reason I've not been on MN is that after a really horrendous birth I went a bit crazy. I had an 18 hour labour, DS was back to back. Things progressed really quickly to begin with, I went from 2cm to 9cm in the space of an hour and was fully dilated the next time they checked me. But I never got the urge to push and DS was completely stuck, wedged in a corner and didn't descend at all. I ended up with an epidural, drip to try and increase the strength of my contractions to make him turn, and eventually episiotomy and forceps delivery. DS was whisked away from me immediately as he wasn't breathing well and had to have oxygen. I didn't get him back until about 15/20 minutes later after I'd been stitched up.

I can't fault the doctor who delivered him and midwives, they were all fantastic and DS barely had a mark on him - a tiny red mark by his eye that disappeared within a day or so. And the doctor seemingly did a very good job on my stitches - very neat and it has healed up really well. But the whole experience was still pretty traumatic and I was completely out of it for a few days.

Breastfeeding then did not go well - DS was too sleepy and not remotely interested for at least 24 hours. He had hand-expressed colostrum from syringes during that time. He then did start feeding but was very hit and miss. He'd go for a few feeds of latching well and feeding for 20 minutes and then we'd have several more where he wouldn't latch and would end up screaming in frustration. He was slightly jaundiced and the hospital advised topping him up with formula so that's what we were doing.

In hindsight I should have just persevered and got more help, but I found it so hard with the mental state I was in. The community midwives came out several times to help me and every time they were there he'd latch perfectly and feed really well, then we'd have problems again after they'd left. He lost 7% of his birth weight in the first five days which isn't too bad but it made me so worried and having never really been an anxious person before, I became a crazy anxious mess. I barely ate as food tasted like cardboard, I couldn't concentrate on a TV programme or a conversation or anything, was just completely obsessed with how long he was feeding for and how many nappies he was doing, recording it all on an app. If he was asleep I would be obsessively googling all of my worries which just fed the anxiety really. I wasn't enjoying DS at all and wasn't sure if I really loved him. I didn't want to take photos of him and felt relieved when DH took him off me. I was crying ALL the time, couldn't contemplate how I would ever be able to leave the house etc. DH was amazing but he began to despair of me, I was a total wreck wnd nothing he could do helped me.

After two weeks of this and DS still not having regained his birth weight, I took the decision that breastfeeding just wasn't working for us and switched to bottles. I did express for a few days but wasn't getting much out and that was also making me stressed, so finally we just switched to formula completely. After a week DS on formula regained his birth weight and more. DH convinced me to delete the app I was so obsessed with and stopped googling and going on MN for a while as it was all just feeding my anxiety. He was right and I began to feel better.

I do feel some guilt that we didn't stick it out for longer, but once DS had got used to the bottle it was like a weight has been lifted. He is now a month old and doing fantastically. He is a very contented baby and hardly cries unless he's hungry. Those awful first weeks are a distant memory. I adore DS and love being at home looking after him all day (which is a surprise to me as I was such a career woman before and now I've barely thought about work!) We are getting out most days to see friends and family or just go for a walk. Now I only record now what time DS feeds and how much he has had so I know when to expect the next one. He sleeps pretty well now, generally has a last feed about 10pm and then he will go until 2.30/3ish and then back down until 6.30/7 which is quite manageable really now my body is used to the lack of sleep.

Sorry for the essay but just thought I'd explain why I've been AWOL! I'm sure we'll still have tough days and I do have worries still but they don't consume me and I feel able to be on MN again now without it making me crazy!

Me I have to admit, last time you were on here you did seem pretty anxious and I was worried about you. Thank you for sharing your story because it sounds as if you're coping fantastically (Nancy was also born on the 3rd of March - we started contracting together - and I wish she slept as long as your baby!). Well done p.s. you made the right decision re the app. I have a tendency to be anxious so I refuse to download any... nearly bought some baby weighing scales as Nancy isn't being regularly weighed but decided against it in case I got obsessed!!

Gosh me sorry to hear what a stressful and scary time you've had. Well done for getting through it, you sound so happy now and thinks sound idyllic!

Glad to hear you're feeling better suz. Hope your day goes well.

indom we were up all night too. DS has taken against his crib and did only 1 short stint in it last night. He fed and fussed and pood his way through the night. DH took him periodically to give my boobs me a break. I would've co-slept but wanted to avoid that really. I think if tonight looks the same I will kick DH out of the bed and me and DS can sleep and feed in bed all night. Can you get some rest today? I hope so.

Snap magpie, El is also very anti crib at the moment! Co sleeping is working for us but I know its not for everyone. What's really annoying is El will sleep anywhere during the day - her cot or bouncer or even her play mat, I put her down for 10 minutes today to do some core exercises and looked round and she was asleep! Cheeky monkey!

Sorry to hear about your terrible post birth experience me but glad you are through the worst of it. I do think that apps whilst potentially helpful do have the potential to feed into anxiety and create obsessions with what baby is doing and since I am a control freak I'm steering clear of them! With DD1 I obsessively wrote down feeds and sleeps as she was jaundice and a terrible sleeper but looking back I didn't find it helpful. So this time am being much more laid back and just offering her boob when shes awake to see if she wants it, not stressing about how much she sleeps etc.

Me so sorry to hear you've had a stressful time of it. I too had a traumatic birth experience and struggle to deal with it some days. Sid was away from me for 90 minutes after he was born and every time I think of that I burst into tears. Lots of for you.

Good to hear from you me. Eloise was due around the time you gave birth but hung on for a further 15 days til 21/3. We had a stressful 5 day hospital stay while I had IV antibiotics (hospital a terrible environment to relax and settle baby) but much better now we are home. Sorry to hear you did not have a greAt start but sounds as though you are both settled now.

Worried about the crib refusals I am hearing - sleeping in a duvet bag so there is no temp change and Ewan the dream sleep on heartbeat play mode seem to get Eloise down each night for a good few hours in her moses basket, hope we don't have any regression.

Beautiful pic marmite

Just had 1st HV visit, seemed to go well, Eloise is 4oz up on her birth weight of 2 weeks ago and we only got one 'cause for concern' box check - for having had 2 feeds of emergency Aptimil when I was delayed in town. Seems a little harsh as it was age apprpriate formula and did not diminish her breastfeeding appetite plus I now have expressed stash for such occasions but I've decided it is not worth worrying over.

French I'm baffled as to why that would be a cause for concern. Seems pretty sensible to me.

French that sounds really bizarre - why would that be an issue? Good idea to have an expressed back up for future though! I haven't done any expressing yet partly as can't be bothered and partly as my supply is so over abundant at the moment I don't want to do anything to encourage it! I may have to start block feeding soon as its getting ridiculous.

Also if Eloise is going down happily now then you're probably ok - El is 18 days old and we've only had one (maybe two) days where she's slept in her cot. We do use a sleeping bag and a white noise app on my phone but she fusses as soon as she's put on her back. Only at night though

Oh me what an ordeal, glad to hear things are picking up for you now though. Really hope you can in time forget about it or at least look back and be calm about it all.
french how odd, I told my hv that I had fed an aptamil a night in Rorys 1st 2 nights at home as I was struggling to deal with the screams - she said it was the best thing as my being stressed would be no good for him.

After my major panic about dp being back at work today it actually seems to be going ok, managed to tidy and hoover all upstairs while R has played in his cot. (Or laid looking blankly at the ceiling)

Hi lovely ladies, congratulations on all the safe arrivals.

We finally came up with a name for dd, Elizabeth, took a while to come up with it as we were convinced she would be a boy!

Also she was born with one eye fused together with a small piece of skin so had to have it snipped on Friday (we were more traumatised than Elizabeth!), she's all ok now and opening both eyes.

We haven't managed to put her down yet (I can hear my mum telling me I'm creating a rod for my own back!), she won't go anywhere apart from on me/dh and she is cosleeping but I'm enjoying the newborn snuggles while dh is still on paternity leave, he goes back next week and everything will fall apart!!

Was there talk of a Facebook group? How would I get added? I tend to respond more to FB as I find myself on there in the early hours...

Oh me I'm sorry you've had such a horrible time. It sounds like you've come through it and are doing really well.

Sorry to all those whose babies won't be put down at night. My ds was like that, it's awful. I learnt that it's definitely worth spending twice as long as you want to rocking/patting/cuddling once they're asleep before attempting to put them down, even though in the middle of the night you just want to put them down and get back to sleep as quickly as possible. Apologies if this is teaching anyone to suck eggs, but we always found the arm drop very helpful - once you think they're asleep, pick up one arm and let go. If it gently floats down, keep holding that baby!!! If it drops like a stone you're probably safe to put them down.

I'm pretty tired after a bad night too, not as bad as some of you but she was up about every hour and a half for a feed. I need to be more disciplined about making sure she has a good feed off both sides, so waking her up when she falls asleep, but it's just too tempting to put her back down as soon as i can - I need to take my own advice!!!

First solo day is going ok so far, though ds was horrendous at the supermarket and kept running about and ignoring me, which does not fill me with confidence for the school run next week. We've also watched a hell of a lot of cbeebies, the shame. Hope yours is going well too Q!

We've been discharged from the midwives as Sylvie is almost back at her birth weight, 1oz off, so slower than a lot of the others but much quicker than her brother! Our health visitor is coming tomorrow, the same one we had with ds who sorted out his reflux and tongue tie and enabled us to keep breastfeeding, she's very reliable and knows what she's doing so I feel in good hands.

French is it the breastfeeding page in the red book? Loads of things come up as 'cause for concern - giving some formula/using a dummy/unlatching baby before the feed finishes/ only offering one side'.

I think it's a new addition to the book as I don't remember it with the other two. HV didn't even bother going through it with me, but I spotted it when I was looking through it the other day. It seems utterly pointless.

me I'm not surprised you struggled at first going through all that, don't feel guilty about formula, happy mummy = happy baby in my book so whatever reduces stress is a good thing. Glad to hear you are less anxious now.

french not sure what your hv is on about, baby needed feeding, you weren't there, baby got fed, where's the problem with that? They do keep telling us to make sure we look after ourselves as well as baby so a bit of time out is needed for us mum's as well.

After happily taking formula/ebm when we were giving top ups I took a bottle of ebm out with me today as I was introducing C to my work colleagues and whilst I will normally happily get my boobs out anywhere it didn't seem right to do it in front of my boss! In the she didn't want feeding until after I left the office but thought I'd give it to her anyway and she flatly refused. It didn't really matter but think I might have to get dh to do the odd bottle to keep her used to it.

Afternoon all,

Sorry to hear you've had a bit of a nightmare me. Glad things are back on an even keel.

We've just had the day-3 weigh-in. DS2 has only lost 1% bodyweight. Very proud of my boobs! However, I've got a blocked duct at the top of one. And my scar isn't too pretty either (allegedly). And we won't mention the sleeping again!

We have ventured to a cafe following the mw appt. it's weirdly normal until I stand up

back using this account as it seems more fitting.

I just feel so down and tearful. ever since last week. I don't love my baby and I have no bond with her :(. I feed her, I keep her warm and clean, i cuddle her, i give her everything she needs but I feel nothing back and I don't understand why. I have no idea what is happening to me. Calais is seven weeks tomorrow and things are just getting worse.
for example we went for a hearing check today and the doctor told us her right ear getting no response is due to congestion and she can hear in that ear but I felt no relief when he said it and i've been beating my self up mentally over it ever since. surely I should of felt happy?
its causing a rift towards me and my other half. he tells me he loved her from the second he saw her and felt this incredible bond straight away and I feel so left out when I see them together because I wanted to feel like that as well and I feel like the third wheel- the spare part.
its also causing me some massive horrible silly jealous thoughts to. I just feel after months of throwing up every day, my pre eclasmpia, my horrendous restless legs and insomnia, all the pain of the birth, over coming my needle phobia I should of got something to. It feels like I bought this lovely beautiful girl to the world and I have not got what he has with her.
I sound like a horrible person and ive upset my other half because I told him how resentful I feel towards him but I just can't hide it any-more.

I'm sorry this post is all very me.

I phoned my health visitor today. I told my gp i was struggling at 6 week check but they didnt help me and i feel so alone.
I would never hurt my baby and I respond to all her needs but I just don't love her