March 2016: the one where Indomitable gives birth...

[vroc81]

I hope I haven't duplicated a new March thread in my sleep deprived state.. Went to reply and found thread was full!..

Another one up too - Rory has reverted to every 1.5/2 hours for a feed since he got his cold, throughout the day and night - feels like I do nothing but feed him! He was going 4 hours before he got poorly. At only 17 days old I'm hoping he goes back to 4 hourly after he's better, i felt much more human.

Sorry to hear about feeding woes and worries, just do what's best for yourselves. Its never a failure if baby is happy (such a cliché)

Another one with a bad night here (was there a full moon?). Unsettled since 1:30am and will only sleep on me but even then is fretful after about 20 mins or so. Managed to squeeze in a quick shower so ready to take DS to nursery in a bit. Could be a long day for a lot of us!

First day without DH today, and despite me refusing help and eventually banishing him to the spare room he didn't sleep either I think he was worrying about leaving us and going back to work.. I should have gone back to sleep when she did at 7 but have been pottering around the house instead..

We've survived the first 1.5hrs... good luck to all those who had rough nights or who are also on their first day alone.. How exactly do I have a shower when I have to check every minute or two she's still alive in my care?

vroc

If you find out let me know some days it's lunchtime before I clean my teeth!

Wow last night was busy! Hope everyone's functioning today. Like marmite I stay in bed for night feeds. I'd be exhausted otherwise. Btw well done purple for managing public transport with the kids, I'm impressed!

DH is away and I was so down yesterday. Felt like such a shit mum to the other three. They're all off for Easter and I've been very snappy. But I spent a good two hours with them at bedtime reading and playing Lego and hairdressers and letting them hold Nancy. The 3yo even tried to breastfeed her

Paper don't feel guilty. You have managed six weeks which is more than many! I know how you feel because I am exactly the same but DS is absolutely thriving on formula.

"Morning". Well, I'd forgotten how crazy this newborn business is. DS2 didn't sleep for more that 40 minutes at a time last night (and only attempted that much 4 times). We eventually came downstairs and let DH have a few hours unbroken, and finally this morning me and DS2 managed a couple of hours too.

All night he was bobbing on & off the boob, filling and re-filling his nappy. Then bobbing on & off again.

I'm so impressed at those flying solo this week. I can't imagine having to deal with DS and the school run by myself yet.

Was looking forward to a day of pottering round the house with nothing massive to do today but have had to pick ds up from nursery as he has a temperature he is absolutely fine bur the rule is if it doesn't go down within half an hour of having Calpol they have to be collected stupid rule.

Both kids are sleeping and I'm not even tempted to do anything, think I will need all my patience when they wake up!

Indomitable don't panic. You've only just given birth! Nancy is almost five weeks and I feel like I've got to "know" her so much more. She is more predictable and far more alert and getting interesting

Why did I think putting the house on the market was a good idea when I have three children, including a newborn?!

We have another viewing tomorrow (7th since it went on market on Good Friday) so, yet again, I'm having to hide toys and baby stuff. Really hope it sells soon so I can relax a bit more!!!

MrsB you are mad!!
I moved house 2 weeks after having ds1. I used it as an excuse to get dh to do everything while I supervised!!

MrsB I do love moving house but the viewings would drive me mad!!

Vroc and Paper, with DS1 I had a bouncy chair that basically lived in the bathroom (at the time we had a massive bathroom, now unfortunately ours is tiny!) so whenever I had a shower I would carry him up and pop him in there where I could see him. Poor Zach has none of the same treatment, he's generally left in his cot more often than not crying while I worry that DS1 isn't trying to pick him up/shove the dummy in more forcefully than he should!

Scared, thinking of you and hugs. The advice everyone else has given is spot on. I think love is something that grows as you see your babies' personalities develop. TBH newborns don't have a lot of personality do they?! I second the advice of trying to get out the house for fresh air every day if you can and really recommend trying some baby groups, the best ones are those for very little babies which are generally full of FTMs who are all equally clueless and looking for others to share with. I hope you can get some support from your HV and referrals to other services if necessary.

Me, so pleased to hear from you again and that things are looking so much brighter. No one prepared you for things going anything other than well do they and it can be so difficult to work through. Really happy you are feeling more able to cope now.

Paper, don't beat yourself up about the feeding. Like others have said, six weeks is still great and hopefully you can give yourself a bit of a break now you've made the decision.

Marmite, hope it's not a fluke with E settling in her cot.

indom, fingers crossed for a few more minutes hours sleep for you. The first few days are so tough but it will get better. Glad to hear Flynn is feeding well and not lost much weight. Zach does the same kind of fussing on and off the boob and flailing his face this way and that across my nipple while screaming during night feeds. It can be very frustrating (and often after 10 mins or so of trying and failing to get him to latch I realise it's because he has a huge shit in his nappy..somehow I still, in my sleep deprived state, forget to check first...bad mum!)

Last night and Saturday night Zach slept for over four hours in one stretch..a record for him. Then both nights only woke once more. Hoping this is the new normal although know from first time round that as soon as you think you have something sorted, or at least improving, they go and change again. Fully expecting multiple wakes tonight, really need to get to sleep as DH on early shifts so leaving the house at 5.30am meaning both boys to get ready and DS1 to childminder in the morning. Ahhhh! Night night xx

MrsB can't you do an open house format then you only have to be tidy once? Beaut you love moving house????

Sorry to hear that lots of us had bad nights but selfishly reassured it wasn't just me! Am just in bed now after the last feed of today and really hoping E does better tonight. My superstar Dad took her this morning at about 8am and I slept until 10 which was much needed. Spent a lot of today wondering how the hell I'll manage next week.

Paper you have done brilliantly feeding for 6 weeks. Please don't be hard on yourself.

Missi good luck tomorrow!

MrsB hats off to you starting the moving process now!

Beaut glad you had some playing time with your older dc. I couldn't put ds to bed tonight as I was rocking E to sleep. He often chooses nanny or grandad to put him to bed when we are staying but I felt guilty at the same time that I couldn't do it. I've wanted another baby for years and am so happy she is here but think it will take me a while to adjust to not being mum to an only and feeling like I'm not neglecting ds if that makes sense.

MrsB I also take my hat off to you, viewings are hard work, estate agents are hard work, moving is hard work, just remember to take it easy when you can.

Thanks for the comments re feeding. Tmi but I went to bed without my sleep bra on because I couldn't be arsed finding it and expected to wake up with a damp t-shirt and leaky boobs. Not a drop... I am not sure if I am happy or sad to be honest.

Missi I was just wondering how two you were, how's Zach getting on?

Martha has slept from 10.30 - 3.30 whoop whoop!! I'm just making sure she's asleep before I put her back down, if she's not completely sparko those eyes open the minute her head touches the mattress and then we'll be awake for another hour (at least)

paper I'm doing exactly the same with R! Already had 1 failed cot attempt..

me thank you so much for sharing your experiences. You have done so so well and I'm really pleased things are now better for you.

I'm still in awe of those of you managing more than 1 child. I have no idea how I'm going to cope with 2 when DH goes back to work,

We're having wind issues here and had our first evening of crying and sleep refusal. We used colief with DD but it's a total pain to give to a BF baby. Anyone got any other tips?! I felt so sorry for him - his little tummy was rock hard.

crispy infacol has been a life saver here, ds was screaming the place down between 11pm and 3am for about 3 nights and now he's still a bit windy but no screams and seems to bring it up ok

We have moved onto the sofa tonight as ds seems to want to be the nosiest, grunting sleeper I've ever known, was keeping me awake so thought rather than wake dp up with it too we might as well move out of the room for a bit - this house makes some odd noises though so won't be sleeping down here again, too creepy (doesn't help the police were here yesterday saying someone had tried to break into our neighbours garage and when they failed they broke down the gate and tried the back door if anything is going to put you on edge sleeping downstairs i'd say it's that!

Not been saround much although have spent yesterday/today slowly reading through what I've missed.

Sympathy to anyone having feeding problems or feeding guilt. Logically everyone knows all that matters is fed baby with a happy mummy, but it doesn't stop the greif if something hasn't worked out the way you planned. Hats off to all you ladies who are formular or mixed feeding or pumping at all, personally I find any level of sterlizing hard work. No one is more greatful than dh that we don't currently need to do it because after years of following nursery policy pre dd I'm rather paticular about it.

If anyone is intrested in trying out slings: www.itsaslingthing.co.uk/collections/available-to-hire do postal rental. I think most slings are £10 for 2 weeks rental. It's got a really good reputation. You don't get the hands on support you'd get at a libary or meet but there are lots of facebook groups where experienced baby wears will offer advice and check what you've done if you post pictures.

I'm sure baby sleep is luck, but after the first 6 nights of cot refusal and horiffic sleep. indom night 2 Eddy fed ALL night, hands down the most sereal night of my night, I was sure I dreamt it until I read about it in my maternity notes. But Eddy started to go down happily in his basket after feeding on his mattress. Probably a complete fluke, but might be worth a try for anyone strugling and not happy with co sleeping.

He was weighed by health visitor, 4 weeks 4 days old, in preparation for 6 week check with gp. Despire over a weeks worth of stinking cold his put on weight beautifully, up to 11lbs 4oz already. Have had a velcro baby few days, so think we're heading for a 'wonder week leap forward', dd mostly followed the patern so after suden fussiness of only me being okay dug out the book and read about the 5/6 week leap. Babies apparently have lots of internal development going on and start to experience sensation more. Although some of it is a bit twee for my liking, I'd really recomend it just as a bit of reasurance and changes to look for as little ones grow up.

Dobby do you have to arrange your 6 week GP check or do you get an appt through the post? I've got a HV appt booked but haven't heard anything from GP. I can't remember having one with DS.

Q that would definitely put me on edge. Hope you got some sleep.

Crispy I've heard that Dentinox is good too. We managed to get some into J using the syringe. I've also seen some medicine dummy's in the shops. No idea if they work though.

I'm another one worried about not giving DS1 enough attention. I'm having to drop DS's hours at nursery as I'm no longer getting childcare vouchers so need to think of places I can take them both without spending too much.

ruhbarb our surgery is ultra efficient with things like that. With both children I've had letters through with the appointment the next working day after we've been discharged. but going by what the health visitor said it's the exception not the rule. I think with the other surgeries in the area you have to call and make an appointment for between 6 and 8 weeks.

rhu I'm sure I read somewhere that businesses have to still pay childcare vouchers even when you're on mat leave and they can't take the cost from smp so it's like getting them free. Worth looking into if that is your situation.

Managed 2 hours on the sofa, dp has gone to work so we are back in the big bed now - feels like heaven!

rhubarb usually you have to ring up for 6 week check and get a double appt for you and baby. This time my surgery were super efficient and rang me three days after E was born to arrange appointments for us and register her at the surgery.

Well, E sleeping in her cot the night before last was a complete fluke as she fussed and cried every time I tried last night so it was back to co sleeping. Had hv visit yesterday (5 days late as E was 19 days old and they are supposed to see you between 10-14 days) and she gave me the speech on safe sleeping, putting baby to sleep on back etc and "obviously no bed sharing", I was all hmm 🤔 yes of course no bed sharing, couldn't be arsed to have to justify it.

Still haven't got the latch right with E but doesn't hurt during feeds anymore and no cracks. My nipple still looks squashed and misshapen when it comes out of her mouth so obviously not quite right yet but without pain so I'm gonna crack on and hope eventually get it right. I'm still getting pain in between feeds from my Raynaud's but hoping that goes away eventually too - with DD1 I had pain for 6 weeks or so

Am also worried about not giving DD1 enough attention, and also being more snappy with her due to lack of sleep. Have had quite a few guilt ridden weepy moments but its getting better. She's back at nursery now after the Easter break so some return to normal routine. rhu how come you aren't getting childcare vouchers anymore?

I also recommend the wonder weeks book/app for understanding periods of poor sleep and fussiness.

First day back at work for DP, but I've got visitors everyday this week so the real test starts next week. I'm actually looking forward to days alone with E and getting her all to myself haha as DD1 is in childcare mon-thurs so only have to worry about how to cope on Fridays.

Morning! We have had sleep! (In fact, DS2 is still asleep and I have really massive and uncomfortable boobs! Can't bring myself to wake him yet though).

What do you mean by feeding on his mattress, dobby? We caved and have offered a dummy when he's particularly fractious & fussing, and also during night nappy changes that seem to make him freak out the most. Just to maintain some calm, you know? Though last night he hardly used it at all.

Eek, Q! I'd be a bit freaked out too!

Rhu we used dentinox for DS1. I can't remember if it was effective, but it had a really strong mint flavour that DS1 hated! Infacol seems more palatable (got some on the shopping delivery yesterday, just in case!)

marmite, which is the wonder weeks app? I looked but there seemed to be several made by different developers. I couldn't work out which was legit.

Thanks Dobby and marmite. I'll ring the surgery and book us in. I wanted an appt for J anyway just to check he doesn't have silent reflux. He's still eating so much I think it's for comfort.

Q and marmite, I'm not getting childcare vouchers because I've been made redundant. It's the one thing I'm really gutted about. I did ask as part of the consultation if they would consider still giving me them for the 39 weeks (as they still pay maternity but as one lump sum) but no go. I'm frustrated for DS as its good for him to be there on the run up to going to school in Sept. Fortunately the nursery are letting him do his free hours only, so he'll still be there for a few hours each day.