August 2015: Mugabe Nights better be getting quieter as our babies hopefully learn to sleep better

[Dozygirl]

New thread for august 2015 babies

Morning all

I'm so behind that I honestly can't remember who said what, or what's even been said. I'm not being rude by ignoring anyone, I promise!

I am broken. Like, properly broken. DDs sleep has been terrible the last week or so. She just keeps waking up, laughing into the darkness! It's a bit freaky. Last night was worse though. She woke every 2-2.5 hours for a feed :( I feel so unwell from it, my body really hates me today! I'm not sure if I'm having a relapse with my M.E too as I'm so stressed out about looking for a house, relocating and worrying over money. Everything's just rubbish :(

What's everyone up to today?

We're having a sofa day - J has a temperature, he was up most of the night and has spent most of today grizzling or sleeping. Fortunately we didn't have much planned today

It's world book day, so lots of stories here.

Oh crafty Sorry you feel so rubbish and stressed out, seems like you have a lot on your plate. Can't imagine dealing with all that and everything seems so much worse when you're tired. DS had his worse night last night too. He's normally pretty good till about 3ish but last night decided 130 was a good time to start growling through the nightIt's like he wants to wake up but can't so he stretches his body out and growls He's asleep again now. I've already had two cups of coffee and 3 white choc chip biscuits...

Had a friend coming round at 11 and have had to put her off till 12 so DS can have a nap. Taking DS1 to have a haircut after school and that's it for today!
Panic this morning as DS1 gets up and asks what he can be for world book day. He's not mentioned it and hates dressing up so last year wore his uniform. They're not allowed to be Greg from diary of wimpy kid so quick look through all his books to find a character who wears normal clothes! Luckily main character in Billionaire Boy wears white tshirt, grey trousers and trainers. DS1 happy with that.

Good to hear about the plane perpetual We're away May and fingers crossed DS will either sleep or be distracted by all the sights.

Piper sounds a great eater dozy

I definitely recommend Ella's prunes to get things moving effin. DS always goes after.

Have a good day everyone

Today's plans are to attack F's nails - nail file rather than anything else - we're all starting to look like we've been in a wrestling match with an angry cat and sort the house which currently resembles an explosion in the drying room of a laundry! Also Drs for me

I'm back at work on Wednesday. They've apparently made my maternity cover permanent, and hired two new people in the team, but there's still no one doing any of what I did... I'm sure the new people are all amazing and earn more than me though, of course. I'm not feeling conflicted at all. I just don't want to go. :(

Dr was great - I feel bad that I royally screwed his afternoon schedule but practical advice plus reassurance is what I needed! However feeding now is NOT what the dr ordered. Obviously 2 bottles of formula not close to bedtime isn't a solution to waking at 2! Arse.

Thanks for the new thread Dozy... Doing my best to pop in and catch up with you all when I can but am finding it so hard to have time for everything.

Am ever hopeful that DS will be sleeping through reliably by the time OH goes back to work next month... But totally agree some babies sleep and some don't. Nowt to do with anything we do. Unfortunately.

For those worrying about going back to work my advice is to focus on the good stuff: toilet breaks when you want them, drinks while they are still hot, and using your mind for something a bit more engaging than remembering the next verse of 'Old McDonald...' That said I'm really missing DS at the mo.

Great work all those babies who are eating lots. Weaning is going so slowly, I'm trying my hardest not to stress about it, but bloody HVs have put the willies up me by going on about them having a window in which to learn to eat. But I've been thinking about it, and surely it doesn't work like that? Surely you can learn to eat at any age?!

clstow your hv is chatting bollocks. He will eat when he's good and ready to. He can chew, (toys, your hands, anything he shoves in his gob that he shouldnt have hold of!) And he can obviously swallow as he's been drinking milk...so he can eat... You don't forget how to chew or how to swallow. He just isn't that interested right now, and that's fine. He doesn't have to be if he doesn't want to be.

clstow I agree with fatty total rubbish from HV! Babies eat when they are ready - there is no special 'window' when they learn after which they can't ever eat again - I am sure HVs are sent to scare us all. Even with my babyloves number 6 they are trying their damnest - she is barely on 9th percentile, she doesn't roll, has only just managed to sit for about a second unaided - so what - she is a happy, healthy wee thing😀

siani sure work will be fine when you get back, think the thought is worse

coconut my girls were dressed up yesterday in jammies as the school were doing a bedtime story theme so that was nice and easy but DS hates anything like that and at age 11 it's definitely not cool! He went in casual clothes and told teacher he was Billionaire Boy!!

crafty babyloves wakes every 2-3 hours but we co-sleep so doesn't seem so bad - hope you get some rest soon X

I'm off to get my nails done this morning - it's been a hectic week and lots on at the weekend too - need an extra couple of days in the week to fit it all in

Morning!

Tindel I hope J is feeling better today.

Coconut I hope you had a better night last night too.

Random glad your Dr's appointment went well for you.

Re work I'm not going back. My smp has now run out ( :( ) but I'm not due back until the end of May. I just can't afford to go back. Well, I can't really afford to stay at home either! But if I'm going to be skint either way I may as well be at home. I just can't face going back. I've been off a year now and I've literally not heard a word from anyone; my colleagues, line manager, team manager. Literally no one. For all those worrying about going back, I'm sure it'll be fine. I think it might be one of those things where thinking about it is worse than actually doing it cos of the worry etc. Are you all going back full time or are you able to reduce your hours a bit?

Loves I'm envious of you getting your nails done! I used to have mine done every 3 weeks for 2 years but that's had to stop now. What colour are you going for?

Thanks for the support about sleep. It's nice to know I'm not alone as sometimes it just feels like dd is broken. Took her into my mums work on Tuesday and the other grandparents there were saying about their babies sleep through the night etc. Not what you want to hear when they've just asked how sleep is and you've said awful! :(

Dh made an extra bottle last night and she actually took it! So I heard her wake up for her 3 feeds and then fed her myself at 6.30. You'd think I'd feel nice and refreshed today but nooope. God knows how dh is still standing today! We take it in turns to Co sleep with her after her 4/5am feed as she won't go back in her cot then. So he was sleeping with her last night as he did that 4am feed, and she was sick all over him and the spare bed. He didn't want to come and wake me so he wiped it up with baby wipes and slept on top of the duvet with a blanket over him instead 😂 I said he should have just come back in with me, bless him. So I've got sheets to wash today! Will have to put them in soon.

Nearly the weekend! No lie in for me again tomorrow though. After covering 400 miles in the car already this week, we're back on the road house searching!

J seems to be better this morning - it was so upsetting hearing him whimpering and grizzling yesterday, he was so miserable. He wasn't quite back to his normal smiley self this morning, but I got a few smiles eventually.

With my work, I am going back, but as I carried over so much leave due to J being premature, I'm only doing 4 days a week until Christmas. I'm planning to look for a more local job once I get back to work - I think between DH and I, we can juggle it for a while, but would rather not commute as a long-term option.

We're off to baby cinema this morning and then catch up on errands after our sofa day yesterday. What does everyone else have planned?

Ooh tindel what did you watch?

I am tired after very little sleep last night! DP is staying g over tonight and tomorrow though so I get loads of sleep over the next couple of days! yay!

Nearly mothers day, for a lot of you it will be your first mothers day, I bet that feels weird! it did for me.

Tired tonight. Felt like a long day. Have a nearly answer re DH - some form of lymphoma, probably some form of hodgkins, more tests to decide type. Bizarrely almost celebrating it's not something worse!

Also going to repeat the pattern that worked 2 nights ago and do 2 formula feeds at 7 and 9 before a late (hopefully dream) bf at 11. She really seems to like the nutramigan lipid 2, far more than the Cow and Gate Pepti Junior. Need to phone re that referral as well.

We had a somewhat grumpy discussion about getting a cleaner. Have now agreed to look into it. Good old manly denial that he can't do much without regretting it later. Mega screaming match when he tried to prove the point - F was yelling, formula not ready after I got back from shop - . So decided I'd feed and chuck formula in fridge for later. He decides to sort kitchen and won't stop without ridiculous ultimatum. Of course he's knackered now, like I told him he'd be. Men!

Mothers Day will be odd. Had to remind him that there was another card to buy - I did the others but forgivable. Not celebrating it much but wanted a card for the keepsake box!

Hi ladies! I am off the fb page but still about. Saw the advert for the new job at my work paying more money than mine. One level up. Amazed to realise that it is my job with a few added extras!!! If I were to go back not sure what I'd actually be doing! Felt like it was all a bit underhand to be honest and was a bit upset!

Random that sounds positive.

Enjoy the nails Loves!

for you randoms

crafty DS regularly wakes every 2 hours and feeds 3/4 times a night. I know how you feel. Loads of babies don't sleep through at this age though. It is perfectly normal. Hard. But normal. Today we saw our nct class and they were horrified he still night feeds. And horrified he sleeps in bed with us. But it is no one else's business. Our babies aren't broken.

Eeeeek I've missed loads on here like Crafty I'm finding it hard to fit everything in! Can't believe 3 days off has gone so quick and I'm in work for 4 days from tommorrow! Each week is going to go even quicker now I'm back at work isn't it and I'll have an 18 year old before I know it! 😱

So bumped into someone I went to aquanatal with at a baby group this morning, her daughter is a week older than DS and she is pregnant again!!!! 😱 Due 2 weeks after her daughters 1st birthday! 1. I cannot imagine being 4 month preg right now I think it would finish me off and 2. I'm impressed she was 'getting some' when her daughter was 3 months old! 😂

Just demolished pizza for tea this healthy eating really has gone out the window again! I blame the hospital stay with DS I ate 2 whole bags of choc whilst there after the ILs brought us loads of goodies up! Oink oink!

I'm knackered tonight last night was awful but in hoping tonight will be better as he's been in bed since 7.30 without a murmur and acruay fell asleep in his cot himself. Managed a bath in the big bath without tears for the first time too thanks to a million bath toys! Small victories!

Kbro can't believe your nct lot were horrified at night feeds still! There's no way DS could go all night he's only ever done t a handful of times and even then that was with a dream feed!

Going to nap on the couch until we go up to bed, I don't know why we always wait for each other- dh does the dream feed so stays up and I end up doing too which defeats the point of him doing it!

fatty I saw Suffragette. It was at this tiny arts cinema near me and J charmed the staff by chattering at the screen at various points!

Course he is now refusing to sleep, having woken up when we tried to transfer him into his cot. Am currently hiding in the bathroom under the pretext of getting ready for bed so I can try and feed him to sleep for the third time so far tonight. Am just so freaking tired right now, struggling with how hard this feels

lily we do the whole waiting up thing too! I don't know why, we just both end up knackered then. I think it's just too hard a habit to break!

Re work. I've tried out a few different options on that front. After grumpy1 I went back part time to my previously full time managerial position. They didn't backfill my extra hours or reduce my workload so you can imagine how much fun that was. I then moved internally into a genuinely part time role that was office-based so I still had a bitching commute. I finally moved into a home-based role with travel which was probably the best work/life balance fit but I did find home working really tough and isolating and the job wasn't that interesting.

I'm a stay at home parent now by choice and have been for a year and although I love it it definitely won't be forever. My plan is to start looking for work when grumpy2 is around a year. I think it will take a bit of time to (a) work out what I actually want to do now! and (b) find a job doing it as I will have been out of employment for just under 2 years.

Every option is hard. I love being at home but I miss my original job, which I loved, was good at and had worked hard to reach. The subsequent part time jobs were much less fulfilling and so ultimately it was easier to finally make the decision to walk away. Whatever happens in the future I can't regret being at home for grumpy1's preschool and reception years though, they have been massive transitions for her and it's been great to be there to do the school run while she is settling in.

That was a bit of an essay, sorry. I guess I just wanted to say to everyone going through this for the first time, chin up, it is tough but there are massive positives whatever you choose and most importantly, no decision you make now is set in stone - you can always change your mind at any point

tindel it is hard. So freaking hard it's unbelievable. No one tells you how knackered you will be, how even when your baby finally sleeps, chances are you'll be awake worrying about them. It's all "well they sleep when...." or "sleep when they sleep" (because obviously life just stops and you don't have to wash the pots, or eat, of drink, or grab a shower ) but it is so worth it.
Especially when they start to talk. DD now tells me every morning "I love you one more than you love me even if you change it"
It started when I was little and my mum would say I love you
"I love you too"
"I love you 3"
I love you 4"
Etc etc, until eventually my mum said the love you one more thing, and because we couldn't change it, she always loved us one more than we loved her.
Now it is a competition between me and my DC, we say it every day and try to be the first to say it to the others.

tindel why are you hiding to feed to sleep? Does your DH want you to stop? If yes we are having the same discussion. Only I am hiding in the living room whilst DS cries and DH attempts to settle.

Just a quick reply

Craft sending u massive hugs. I find it hard enough being a mum without all the added stress and sleepless nights you're dealing with. Dd is not broken, she's just one of many that doesn't sleep. Hope u find somewhere to move to. I remember u saying when u were pregnant about your work colleagues not caring about u. That's so horrible of them. Will u be able to just leAve or do u have maternity pay from them that you have to pay back if u don't go back?

Hugs to those back at work or returning soon. I just can't imagine it at the moment. My brain is still nowhere to be found. But I dont think it'll ever come back until I go back to work.

Magrat hope you're OK. Did fb just get a bit too much?

kbro DH flits between not wanting me to and then running out of ways to settle J himself. He gets adamant that he can't possibly be hungry, despite me pointing out bf is not always about hunger.

As it turns out, J wouldn't even bf, just kept crying. He calmed slightly when being cuddled, but not quite enough to give in and fall asleep. DH put him in the sling to let me sleep, but not quite sure where DH is at the moment. Hoping he is asleep on the sofa, might go wake him and get him back upstairs if I can settle J

Hi everyone,

So we've done another 150 miles in the car, and still have to go home yet which is another 60 miles and we've got nowhere! The house I was banking on which looked quite a nice size is smaller than in the pics. That wouldn't be too bad but there was some mould round the bedroom windows :( The second house was lovely, but the floorboards are going just like they have at my Mums house. It's happening in the exact same spaces and there's very near to being a hole in the landing. My mum has a hole in her landing and main bedroom, so she needs all new floorboard put in upstairs. I doubt the landlord will agree to do that before we move in. So we're back to square fucking one.

We can't stay where we are. We HAVE to move asap. It's not like I'm being too picky, but how can we move into a house with holes in the floor or damp on the walls? :( another tank of petrol wasted too when we are so, so skint.

Sorry for the negative post. I just feel so low. DD is still waking every 2 hours for a feed. I just can't take anymore. I feel so overwhelmed over for prospect of moving anyway, with all the packing that needs doing etc but my anxiety is getting really bad now we can't even find a place! :(

Thanks for the hugs dozy. I will have to pay about £1200 back to work if I don't go back. I can't afford to pay it back (we've had to take out a loan to move as it is) but I can't afford to go back to work either. After childcare I'd be bringing in £300 a month. So we couldn't afford to live. So I guess I'll have to (hopefully) come up with some sort of payment plan with them, or my mum is going to see if she can help me out at all.

Quiet thread today. Hope that means everyone is busy doing something lovely...

Lazy day here. DS2 and I stayed in our pj's all day. DP was at work this morning and DS1 has been out playing. DS2 had 2 lap naps so I managed to watch some programmes I'd recorded. Was all lovely until both times he woke up coughing and bought up his whole milk feed. He's just done it again in bed, not sure why as he hasn't got a cough when he's awake.

tindel and kbro I always feed to sleep, might not be the recommended thing but it works for us. DP never says anything about it, it's just what we do. I bring DS up and feed him, DP does the washing up and puts the kitchen straight. I did exactly the same with DS1 until 18 months. I like the easy life and I'm too soft for anything that involves crying so I'll keep doing it while it works!

crafty Your day sounds exhausting on a full nights sleep, no wonder you are feeling low. Why do you have to move? Understand if you don't want to say. The thought of packing up our house with a little one would stress me out too. This might be rubbish advice but do you write lists? I always find if I have a lot on my mind if I just write it down it helps. Even just where you're going to start to help you get things a bit clearer in your mind? Maybe an order to pack things or which room to start with? I would do little bits that's all you can do with a little one at a time. Maybe start to get rid of anything you don't want to take?
DS2 is also waking a lot 1, 3, 5 and 7 yesterday. I'm in bed now as this is normally his best part. I'm sure you will work something out with work and think of all the lovely time you and your DD will have.

Best get some sleep in now ready for a 1am wake up.