Mugabe Nights: sometimes you wanna go where everybody knows your (sleep deprived) pain!

[mzzzf]

New thread ladies!
Buenos are still free, the bar tab is still open and you can leave your healthy living resolutions at the door!

Cheers love. We're up for the day now. I just can't co sleep as I can't relax at all.

Apologies for the overnight rant. I'm really not intending for me to be flying the "I've got it hardest" flag because I haven't. We've all got our own personal baby mountains to climb. Sleep has always been hers and by default, mine. Sorry again of I've made any of you feel crappola.

Anyway - deffo chocolate for breakfast right?! 🙂

Mzzzf I feel for you. Sleep is our thing too. Things haven't been good since 12 weeks and now at 20 weeks. Thought they were getting better but no. Up every 90 mins last night.

I sometimes cosleep but it doesn't stop him waking. And I just sleep worse curled around him.

Totally have chocolate for breakfast. And lots of coffee ☕️💐

Now I've had coffee I can reflect. It could have been worse, she finally went down again at just before 4 and woke at just after 6 so I got 2 hrs in the end 😊
I'm the sleep deprived version of a functioning alcoholic!! 2hrs feels normal now, which is crazy talk!

Rrra - same brekkie for you too! Glad to know I'm not the only one with a consistently crap sleeper

Mzzzf - rant away!!! I hear ya!!! I'm completely sick of this no sleeping bullshit. I just don't get when it's going to end. I tell myself she's only a baby etc but quite frankly I feel it's something I'm doing wrong. I can barely string sentences together at the moment it's getting embarrassing x

You're right, Co- sleeping won't help if you can't relax. I only manage it with Ds safely cocooned in his sleepyhead.
I wish I could make it better for you. You certinally don't make any one feel crap.
Chocolate for breakfast, onwards and upwards 🙂

Here's some coffee for all the sleep deprived mums!!! And decaf for the bf mums, I find decaf gives me a good boost, I do have a small amount of caffeine every day in the morning and dd doesn't seem affected.

loves my good sleeping co sleeper baby has gone off the rails too! Agree there's not much you can do about it.

mzzf you poor thing, sleep deprivation really is the worst. I'm always relieved when I read an article that says the first year of babies life is really hard and not always very enjoyable, that's the truth for me. Actually before dd2 was born I was dreading the sleepless nights I found with dd1 that I started to really enjoy her and parenting her once she was 18 months/2 years, before then I found very tiring and not overly rewarding.

I can join the crap car club too! I managed to reverse my car into a bollard a few weeks ago so need new lights on one corner. I took it as meaning I wasn't really fit to drive so have been abstaining since, until I get more sleep.

Baby giraffe has two teeth coming through and don't I know it. Chewing everything, random screams, tonnes of runny nappies. At 2.30am I gave up bothering to try to sleep as every ten minutes or so she gave out some blood curdling screams! Yesterday at playgroup one of the elderly helpers approached me and asked me whether baby giraffe was ok as she kept giving 'terrible screams!' I did explain its just teething.

I think I'm going to try to have a quiet day of laundry and minimal tidying up, also buying more Douwe Egberts decaf as I'm living on that stuff

Oh god, now he's mastered dragging himself out of the co sleeper to cuddle mummy. My bed is going to be full of sick and I'm going to be bloody freezing again for fear of smothering him with blankets.

Clever babies are a pain sometimes

Faith's latest trick is to try to escape the buzzy chair. If I strap her in to prevent this she squeals. Must assemble jumperoo and sort cushions for ride on car thing - she's too small for the seat even with huge cloth bum. Cloth bum is also not big enough for 3-6m pink jeggings (Tesco) so she is pretty dinky for just over 5 months!

I feel so lucky she sleeps as I just wouldn't relax co sleeping until she's mobile. Still addicted to my sensor pad monitor with her in the same room/next to me! Have just got to the point of letting her sleep in the travel cot downstairs without the monitor in the day but still keep popping back and checking she's breathing every 5 minutes!

Ds has just been doing some straining, but no poo ☹️
I'm going to keep him just on boob juice today and have some water cooling to try. Any other ideas?

I allow myself 3 cups of full caffeine coffe every day giraffes, despite bf. I really don't think I could cope without it!

sian he's gorgeous! I use a huge cellular blanket for my top half and a duvet from the waist down, I think now they are more mobile then smothering is less of an issue unless you're using a heavy duvet.

frolic that's good to know on caffeine! I've been having a caffeinated cup of tea daily throughout pregnancy and bf, I really like the decaf coffee though so I drink loads!

Morning all - thanks for all your kind words re my crazy crying episode yesterday😊. Feeling better today after a 3 hour sleep last night!

frolic I would recommend cooled boiled water, fresh orange juice, mashed prunes/mandarin oranges in natural juice to get things moving.

random babyloves is 5.5 months but still in 0-3 month clothing - keep trying 3-6 months on her but her feet get lost!! Fed up seeing her wearing the same stuff all the time.

siani he looks so pleased with himself - lovely smile

giraffes at least our co sleeping means we don't need to leave the bed - it could be worse! Hope the teeth come through soon and she then gets back into sleeping. No sign of teeth here so no idea what's wrong? But better last night - did a stretch from 9-12. it will get better - I must repeat that to myself a million times in the night!!

mzzzf sympathise with you deeply on lack of sleep - wish I could offer advice - it will get better!!! It's unbelievable that you can be grateful for a couple of hours but it's amazing how much better you can feel for such a short, uninterrupted sleep. I am way better today for having had 3 hours than my zero hours on Monday and all day crying yesterday.

Today I am going to my very first Mumafit class - Metafit class where you can take babies and toddlers. Feeling nervous about going as don't know anyone but I really need to tone up - 6 babies, 4 of them sections has done my body no favours!! Put my new fitness outfit on this morning - DS asked where I was going, DD1 said i looked ridiculous (don't you just love teenagers?!) and all my little ones said I looked beautiful (I don't but DC are so lovely at young ages and think their mummy is the best ever!). The class starts at 11.30am - wish me luck - I will probably be unable to walk later...........

Loves - I have the joys of her being long - so starting to worry about her toes in 3-6 - but narrow - with cloth bum making her look like a weeble toy. Tops where the length doesn't matter are still 0-3 ideally and pretty well all sleeves need to be rolled up because she's narrow across the chest. Clothes sizing is a nightmare and vest extenders are my best friends!

Enjoy the class - I need something like that! DH's job is too unreliable with finish time for me to commit to stuff without F in tow. Will have a nosy online to see what I can find! Hope you're not too sore later

Good luck Love! I really need to get my ass moving again, really running out of excuses now. Must start running again. But it's so cold...!

MzzF don't worry about making anyone feel guilty - that's the sleep deprivation monkeys getting to you. It's shit, shit, shit that you're getting no sleep. Sleep deprivation is a method used to get national military secrets out of trained soliders, it's mental that mums are just expected to put up with it, no questions asked. I know it's not for everyone, but you mentioned Mini-M is nearly 6 months, so would you consider sleep training (controlled crying). My instinct is that it's not for me, but I have three good friends who all did it when they were at breaking point, and for all of them it made a difference within three nights. Just one more thing to add to the list of things to ruminate on I guess.

Get those little legs bicycling Frolic (if it's not too painful for him) - I always find a bit of tummy massage gets things going if DS will allow.

Can't believe so many of the babies on this thread have/are getting teeth. I can see DS's lurking just below the gum but they've been there for months and show no signs of breaking through any time soon.

OMG I'm back to work tomorrow! It's totally snuck up on me and I really should be ironing something to wear, but would much rather catch up with you lot

Afternoon!

Thanks frolic much better today. The weather here has been beautiful for the last couple of days which has massively helped my demeanour. It was a bit of a perfect storm really, bad nights with little daytime sleep to allow me time to catch up with my thoughts plus Grumpy 1 is going through a really challenging time of it and having enormous, public, meltdowns. They have differentiated them at school now and put her in the top set for both literacy and numeracy despite me asking them to hold back. She is very bright but not emotionally ready for this level of pressure at all.... I love her so much and it is so distressing to see her going from being a happy little girls to a stressed out monster . Am going in today to make an appointment to speak with her teachers again to try and sort something out. With regards to constipation I second loves diet of things to get babies moving. I would probably ease back on the weaning for a couple of days as well to give his little digestive system a chance to catch up with itself.

mzzf enough with the crazy talk about making people feel guilty. We are all here to support you, and god knows you deserve it. You've mentioned that you are sitting on the bed in the dark. Do you have space in your room for a glider or rocking chair? You can pick them up cheap on eBay. We have one in our room and I swear it is a godsend. I don't co-sleep either due to anxiety over squashage but it is so soothing to be sat gently rocking away the small hours and it has worked to calm both my girls - even if it didn't necessarily send them to sleep!!

clstow good luck for tomorrow, and presumably good luck to Mr Clstow too if he is taking over the parental leave reins. Give us a wave from the other side and say hi! to OMC while you are there

loves split milk is worth crying over. The smell is just awful. I'll join you in the blubbering stakes (if it is any consolation I think DH was ready to have me sectioned on Monday evening if I hadn't stopped....) Good luck with the exercise class, hope you meet some nice people there.

fanby how has the BCG gone? Remember it is always worse for you than them. I will always remember Grumpy 1's BCG because I had to go to the clinic at New Cross for it as they didn't do it at my local clinic. I didn't realise that New Cross station has about a million very steep steps to exit and being new to the whole pram malarky hadn't thought to check. I had to tip the pram up so far to get up the stairs I actually lost the 4-week old grumpy 1 down into the bottom of the carry cot. Getting out the station was way more traumatic than the injection itself!

giraffes I have a can of coke and a cup of caff-coffee most days whilst bf'ing and it has no effect on grumpy 2 at all, but does render me sensible for a while! Having said that I do like the Whittards decaff filter coffee, it has a great placebo effect.

randoms and siani you have wonderfully clever babies! Mine are definitely talkers not walkers - no sign of rolling even here yet.

rra sorry to hear that you are also in the shit sleep club. Fist bump solidarity to you - we've been struggling since about 12 weeks also, some good nights but mostly bad. Its brutal.

Was chatting to a good friend who is having a baby at the end of this month and who had been advised to splash out on all sorts of sleeping aids (sleepyheads, dream sheep etc) by another friend with an 8-week old. She was wondering if it was all worth the expense. I suggested she spoke to the other friend in a further 8-weeks to see if her baby is still sleeping then. I then laughed hollowly and rang off.... MWAHAHAHA!!!

Finally, anyone heard from nolonger for a while? If you are out there, hi!

Hello. We are back from sleep class and looking forward to a nice 8 hour stretch. Hurray!!

Basically it was the usual. Stop putting down a sleep. Drowsy but awake. Don't reward night wakings with boob/bottle if baby not hungry. Teach baby the holy grail of self settle. Her recommender method is gradual withdrawal combined with a bit of pick up put down. However a few things which were food for thought:

1. Lots of families fall into trap of dad works therefore mum will do nights during week. Which gradually moves to nights at weekend. (We are v in this trap) Both parents need to work together on this and take turns on nights esp at weekends as too much for one person.

1. Perfectly normal and ok for bedtime to be late and v common for babies under 1 to still go to bed at 9/10pm. Key is to not let them nap to close to bedtime whenever bedtime maybe.

1. Bed doesn't need to be same time every day but routine you do needs to be same.

1. Normal for getting baby into bed to take about an hour.

1. Was actually relaxed about daytime nap lapping and said is important that day time and night time are different. Not least of all you don't want to end up trapped in house by baby that will only nap in dark room in cot.

1. If baby does need genuine feed then need to make point of doing differently to resettling. So light on or into different room. Resettle in dark.

She also said if baby waking lots in crib / Moses basket then move to cot and also think about moving into own room as baby could be being woken by you etc.

I don't know what to think. Feel torn between it will just sort itself out as ultimately is developmental and baby will get there and stressing that am doing it all wrong and need to try and 'fix it'.

Mzzzf hope your doing ok. Rant away anytime. DS was up for hours last night. He was thrashing around in bed next to me and decided that he needed winding and he took this as a sign the day had started. And was awake for hour and a half. Having already been up about 3 times!! Arrrrggggg. What time does your DH leave for work? We have agreed that any waking from 6am onwards will result in DH taking aidan and letting me sleep for an hour by myself. It really helps. I swear that hours sleep is worth about 3 hours will baby next to me. Could you maybe do something like that?

I was wondering that about Nolonger! Nolonger hello!!

Nathan has discovered rolling is faster than commando crawling, so if he wants to get to his sisters sandwiches the other side if the room, he no longer spends ten minutes dragging himself. He just rolls, then twists so he's facing the right way and can nick a ham butty

Well molly royally showed me up at the clinic, I got in the room and cried and she didn't even shed a tear when the nurse did her thang!! Will take her to the toy shop tomorrow for being a brave soldier!

Oh giraffes!! I hope you get a better night sleep and those pesky teeth cut through asap x

Siani - he is so so gorgeous!! What perfect skin!!

Love - glad you got some rest and feel better today - how was mumafit???

Clstow - best of luck for the return to work tomorrow, we're all rooting for you

Slowwife - any luck at the school? :( that's really sad, I hope she's ok. You'll be pleased to know new cross station now has lifts ;)!!

Kbro - I hope you've set the wheels in motion with all those tips!! You're not going to know what to do with all the sleep you're about to get ;) xxx

Thank you for all the poo help. He's done 2 massive ones today in the end, so I think he's ok. I did realise that he hadn't bf'd much during the day yesterday (nosy), and that combined with having a few mouthfuls of food probably caused it. I gave him cooled boiled water in a beaker and he gulped it down. Shame he won't do the same with any kind of milk!
He wee'd all over me at baby massage today and found he could grab his willy for the first time and wouldn't stop! Talk about discracing himself in public 😜

I hope you survived mumafit loves.

random, I have a long thin one too. Blade & rose and frugi leggings are your friend. Plenty of room for long legs and cloth bums without being baggy.
Thank you for mentioning vest extenders - Ds is nowhere near wide enough for the next size up, so these may be just what I need.

Good luck tomorrow clstow 🍀
Come back and tell us what it's like on the other side!

I hope it went ok with the school slow. I'm a bit 😮 At them putting pressure/ differentiating at such a young age. It really should be all about playing and socialising so little. She's lucky to have a mum who can figure out what's going on and do something about it.

Thank you for sharing sleep school tips kbro. I think I'm doing all of the dont's 😬

I was also wandering about nolonger.

I hope everyone has had a good day.

X-posts
Well done Nathan, you'll need to lock the kitchen cupboards soon fatty!

And well done fanby and Molly for surviving the injections- I hope they don't make for a bad night for you.

kbro interesting stuff from the sleep workshop. At the moment, DH has been doing bedtimes the past few nights to give me a break. It worked really well last night, but I won't say anymore to avoid the wrath of those more sleep deprived than me.

joskar excellent advice about the sling to stop crying - J was having a grump earlier and sticking him in the sling meant we had a calm happy baby for when DH got home. No dinner, but a happy baby.

Have had a strange few days - after looking at nurseries and chatting to DH, it looks like I may well end up going back to my current job. DH is looking at more flexible working, so we may be able to juggle London commutes with nursery pick ups. Have found a really lovely nursery and have tentatively put J down to start in September! Scary stuff - am still planning to find a more local job, but it takes the pressure off for the time being.

Still not quite rolling over, must put in some more playmat time to get him to do that last little bit.

Exorcist puke tonight. Such fun!!! Do you think the extra saliva from teething can trigger vomitting? It was HUGE! Cue bath and change for her and me. Sick in clevage is not cool. So so very unsettled tonight so I'm gearing myself up for more of the same. What doesn't kill you eh?!

Tindel - no wrath at all from me. Please don't think that. I'm sorry for going on about it. Very cool to hear mr Tindel can do bedtime though!

Good luck tomorrow Clstow!!

Fatty - Nathan is a sandwich stealing ninja! He rocks. Hope you're feeling better!

Frolic - willies and upward weed are two of the reasons I'm glad I have a girl. Well, glad most of the time 😉

Kbro - some good titbits there the drowsy put down is the holy grail right?!
DH gets up at 6 and leaves for work at 6.45. Luckily DD work earlier this morning so he took her for ten mins whilst I showered - almost as good as sleep!! 😁
He's also away tomorrow night and won't be back until late Friday so any chance of a hand then is limited too 😕 I keep repeating to myself "I can do this" ad infiniteum.

Fanby - well done molls. Pick the fanciest toy - you earnt it!

Loves - I hope you survived the class

Slow - poor dd1. Must be heart wrenching to see. Hope it gets sorted ASAP.

I was think of nolonger too and dozy - are they on the FB group?

So currently mini mzzzf is asleep on my lap on the bed. I'm gasping for a drink but dare not move!! Poor little love, I was getting all annoyed at her not settling when really she had a big sick ready to come out 😕
Kbro - going back to your thoughts, I'm torn between all the tips and logically knowing that sleep is developmental like crawling and walking etc and that they'll get there when they get there. Nice to have reassurance of bedtimes taking a hour though I'm currently on 2hrs (puke and bath included!).

On the bright side you Pretty Little Liars fans - have you seen the new episodes?! I'm hoping to catch up tomorrow!!! 🤓

New episodes of pretty little liars? HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS SOONER?

mzzzf you can do this. Honestly. I mean think about, you've come nearly half a year without actually throwing her (although you may have felt like it at times!) If you can manage one half of a year, you can manage the next half a year, and before you know it, your little sleep stealer will be turning 1 and you'll be wondering where the fuck the time went.
I'm led in bed, with no baby in the room. DP has set the travel cot up downstairs so I can get a full nights sleep and hopefully feel better tomorrow.
Good luck everyone. If anyone's in the bar tonight, I've put some money behind the bar, so drinks are on me.

Mzzzf I am also sat under a sleeping baby. Obvs have ignored all advice so far. May try 'dowsy but awake' at weekend. The problem is I am basically too tired to sort his sleep out. So we could do drowsy but awake and I'll spend the next God knows how long doing pick up put down until one of us gives in with frustration or I can sit here cuddling and do the ninja transfer and go straight to bed (for 2 hours only) Guess which one I am choosing!!

Your DH is quick at getting ready. Mine is a right faffer. Alarm at 6:45 leave the house just gone 8:30. Hence me saying you have time to take DS for at least 30 mins. His faffing normally drives me mad but now am seeing its benefits.

Sorry to hear about the various meltdowns. Big hugs and mugs of ovaltine all round. The exhaustion and relentlessness will drive you nuts. I spent most of my first mat leave weeping into my puke and snot stained dressing gown. Not a pretty sight! My daily must haves are a shower, a walk and peace to listen to The Archers. It's not much but it keeps me from leaving them all to fend for themselves on a rocky crag.

Got the car back. Not sure how much but I think only ££ instead of £££. Still shite though. I panic bought it this time last year and really it's too low. Our track is too rough for prissy town cars. Need a jeep!

Looking at the list kbro I'd agree with 1,2 and 5. The others not so much. Imo every baby is different and what works for one - white noise, rocking, feeding, crying for 5 minutes, swaddling, routine - doesn't necessarily work for others. There were/are over 60 women on my MN group from my first pregnancy and there was such a vast array of routines and things that worked for that particular family and child. We stuck slavishly to a routine for 10 months and it didn't really make a difference. She changed all the time. Some nights she slept four hours, sometimes she woke every 30 mins, sometimes she went down drowsy, sometimes she was bouncing off the walls after two hours of bedtime. We just learned to "read" her better. When you're tired you are easily drawn into thinking you're to blame and all the literature tells you that the child isn't sleeping because you haven't followed the particular method they're selling. It's so, so, so crap. I really wish I could have a magic wand and give all the parents of poor sleepers faith that it will come good and faith that you are not to blame. Because truly it is the child not the parent. Now my dd1 has a pretty consistent routine and she sleeps through most nights but it happened when she was ready and not before. It will get better. It really, really will. Trying different things makes you feel better and you might hit on something that suits you but please don't hate yourself if it doesn't work.

I've lost the red books. Where could they be? I had them at the clinic for vaccination day. Sodding hell!