It's the Christmas party at Mugabe nights, pull up a bar stool and order your shots! August 2015

[FattyNinjaOwl]

New thread for all the regulars at the bar, and the not so regulars too.

We've just found out that bils gf is pregnant again. she's only just found out herself.
That seems to make the whole situation much worse .

Lily that's so tough. My DH lost his mum when he was 17 and it was awful for.him. I can't even imagine.

Fatty so sorry for your loss.

Re sahm that's my ideal tbh. We worked out that with childcare and travel costs, I'd be going back to work for about a hundred quid a month...hmm. But am looking at stuff I can do from home and have found an audio typing thing maybe so who knows.

DS is also playing with sleep at the mo. It's harder in a way at the mo as we're out of our real rhythm. My DH struggles more with the lack of sleep too and can get grumpy. So today we decided to test drive the baby carrier he bought me and go to a secret nuclear bunker! DS got bored half way round and cried but aside from that went really well. DH is still in that stage of getting embarrassed when DS cries which is odd fir me as I got over that months ago! Overall a successful outing I think and this carrier didn't knacker my back like the baby bjorn!

Re nye we're staying in with a bit of jools Holland!

So sad for you and your family Fatty.

We have a relatively quiet new year planned with some people from church. May be home before midnight but will definitely be watching the fireworks as they're one of the best methods of settling F!

Currently fighting DHs month end paperwork to the accompaniment of what sounds like an angry parrot - F has discovered screeching and added it to her repertoire of sounds with great enthusiasm! She's just about got front to back rolling (that's it for tummy time then - she hates it so rolls over). No signs of back to front - don't think she sees the point of getting into a hated position!

Glad the carrier outing went well McGrat. Currently considering next steps for when the stretchies just won't cut it any more. Sling library next week should help. DH likes the baby bjorn but everything else is too girly. We will be getting a Deuter rucksack carrier as well as whatever I decide on for me. Want something that can do a back carry as well as front carrying but not as chunky as the walking rucksacks.

Ours is a beco Gemini and that does front foward front inward and back carrying. It's in grey so not too girly! Funny re rolling as DS does back to front but not front to back!

Evening all!
Today was mostly spent stressing about not being able to get Ds to take s bottle. In the past week we've tried bottles, sippy cups. Different bottles, different sippy cups, defrosted ebm, fresh ebm and formula. He's not drank a drop ☹️
I really feel ready to go off for an afternoon or have a night out, but I don't know how I can do that if he won't eat. Do you think I should just go and let dh get on with it? I just can't bear the thought of Ds screaming hungry. It breaks my heart.
I know that you don't have a baby to palm them off on others, but a little break would be so nice.

Anyway, moan over! Ds has been in a lovely mood all day, so I really shouldn't complain. We've been showing him some of his new toys and it's so cute to see him get excited and looking at stuff with real concentration while he tries to work out what to do with it.

I hope you feel better soon loves and everything.

That's so sad fatty. Hopefully, in time, dp's family will be able to look at the new baby as a blessing and something to look forward to.

Secret nuclear bunker sounds fun and interesting magrat. Where did you find one of them?

We have an ergo in plain navy random. Not too girly, does back, front and side carry and both dh and I get on really well with it, despite being very different heights, build etc.

Ds seems to be fast asleep. I'm going to escape downstairs and smash a box of salted caramel chocs. Mmmmmm! 🐷

Oh Fatty what terrible news. So sad. I hope as Frolic says that in time the baby will be seen as a blessing.

Sorry for your losses as well Lily and Everything, I can't imagine how tough it is to lose a parent

I've always been quite close with my Mum but wow do I appreciate her more since having DS. I think I've taken her for granted for a loooong time. This parenting lark aint as easy as she makes it look.

I'm very jealous of all these back to front rollers... DS will only go front to back. His new trick is sitting. He can sit on the floor completely unaided now - only for a few seconds before he slumps one way or the other but it's super exciting, while also being super terrifying - where's my little baby gone?!

Another vote for the ergo here, love love love it.

DS is poorly so our nights have gone to pot, most worryingly he's been waking up at 4:30 and not falling asleep again till 6:30. We've been away the last few nights which has made it much harder but as we're back home this morning I gave up on trying to settle him and stuck BBC2 on. 10 minutes of Homes Under The Hammer and he was snoozing away... I of course ended up staying up another 20 mins to see what they did with the 3-bed in Stoke

Have we lost some of our regulars over Christmas? I know we've not heard from Nolonger or Grok for a while... Are you guys still there? Hope so. Was thinking today how I've been chatting away with some of you for nearly 5 months now. Love being part of the Mugabe crew

So sorry for your loss, fatty.

We had a shit night for sleep last night. Tried to go to bed earlier and it just resulted in much shorter blocks of sleep all night. :( the longest was 3 hours instead of the 4 or 5 we were getting. And I'm trying it again tonight, because DS was so visibly sleepy at half seven that it seemed mean not to. :/

random my DS can do back to front but not front to back - he rolls onto his front as soon as we put him down, then starts grizzling because he's on his front and throws up on his hands. :( I'm desperate for him to figure out how to get back, but he's just interested in getting mobile, so he's trying to drag himself along and spin around.

mzzf I've found it a bit easier to get on with my mum, it's definitely changed the dynamic of our relationship. She's grandmothering instead of mothering I think. Much less trying to parent me and much more trying to do things for her grandson. She's said that she had totally given up on me ever having kids, so she's completely over the moon about being a grandparent.

Evening all! We are now back home from my parents, so catching up on messages.

fatty so sorry to read your sad news - my thoughts are with you and your family. I can't imagine how devastating it must be.

frolic we've been struggling with taking bottles. What worked for us was me not being in the room when giving J the bottle, otherwise he just wanted it from me. Have you tried that?

Think we are fully in the 4 month sleep regression - J wouldn't settle fully until almost 1am last night and tonight is not looking promising. I keep feeding him to sleep, he dozes for about 20 minutes and then best case, wakes up and won't go to sleep or worst case, wakes up hysterical. Am feeling utterly frazzled by it all. We've abandoned all pretence of a bedtime routine and just try anything to minimise the crying and get some sleep. He's currently downstairs with us and has just filled his nappy, so DH and I are trying to persuade the other one it's definitely their turn.

Oh farty. So sad but as others have said hopefully the baby will be something positive to focus on.

Frolic I can't remember but does your DS take a dummy? My nephew was still refusing a bottle just before my sister went back to work and she said the only thing that worked was getting him to take a dummy and then the bottle. She practiced a lot with dummy as was less stressful than the feeding and once he got that he started to get the bottle of the same make. May not be any use of he takes one but could be worth a try.

Clstow love love this group too - it keeps me sane!!!

Tindel noooooo. Welcome to club sleep regression. Really hoping your membership is over very very quickly.

DS is wide wide wide awake. Not even vaguely sleepy. Sigh.

Ola mugabeans!

Lots of loving thoughts your way fatty and mr-fatty-to-be. That gf must be in utter shock how on earth you find the strength for pregnancy and child rearing after that I can't imagine but you're a little bit of a leg-end fatty so I'm sure you'll be on hand to give advice if needed.

And you two troopers everything and lily. Losing a parent so young is heartbreaking and I doubt that feeling ever goes, you just get better at dealing with it and get more time between the 'face smashes'. Bloody troopers the pair of you!

Ok enough of this emotional shite we are not American!! 😁 Let's be British, drink to manage it, laugh to deal with it and sympathetic punches on the arm to show we care. Only jesting, huge squishy, can't breathe it's too tight hugs all round. You guys have been my virtual rocks for the past 5 months (longer for some of you!) and I'm massively thankful for that. Long may it continue into 2016!
Crikey the end of the year is a real tone for reflection/drunken ramblings isn't it?! (I've only had one mojito - honest guv!)

Soooo our relaxing day has resulted with the mil staying over, us driving her back tomorrow and then visiting more of DHs family. Arrrrghh! I thought we were done. I want to go to lidl to buy more mini stollen not smile and wave at ILs. I believe DH owes me his chocolate orange for this now, right?!

Mini mzzzf is so frustrated at the moment. She can rolls both ways and sit unaided but oh no this is not enough she's now screaming at not being about to move. Today I caught her trying to pull herself up on the arches or her play gym - WTF?! She's basically stopped doing much else apart from screaming, she's fine this before and gone a bit backwards with activity before making sense of a new skill - think crawling is imminently on the horizon. Balls!
Although maybe she'll sleep then?!! Ok ok I can hear you all laughing from here 😁

Hope you all get the sleep you need ladies. I'm done hoping for different as she'll just do as she feels, the little git!!

Bonne nuit

Fatty, that is really shit, I'm so sorry, everyone has already said exactly what I would. Lots of love to you and your family.

Dozy, peachy and loveandsmiles hope you're all feeling better.

Absolute ZERO rolling here. She did a roll from front to back weeks ago but nothing since. Very much not happening ah well!

So tonight madam has fed at 8:30, 9:30, 10:30, 12:30...about to pull my hair (and maybe hers JOKES) out!

Thanks everyone. DP is here. He's told me he will do the night shift as he doesn't think he will sleep anyway.
He's had a good cry and hugs, I just wish I could make things better for him.

Oh god! Someone please tell d's that shouting is not an acceptable activity at 3, 4 or 5am! He clearly didn't get the nemo 😴

fanby that is definitely unacceptable activity! Having been unable to get back to sleep since the 2am feed, I officially feel terrible and decreasingly less interested in the NYE party we've been invited to. Also just found out it starts at 8, so our original plan of taking J for the first bit looks like it won't happen. Might just pack DH off there and pick him up in the morning instead.

At the risk of being all emotional, I don't know how I would have coped these past few months without you all. I know I have come late to the party, but it's been so helpful having your support and virtual drinks at the bar. I do have some great real-life support, but it's been so sanity preserving being able to talk to you and not having the oldest baby. My NCT group were discussing their lovely bedtime routines recently and I felt like the voice of doom saying what J was currently not doing.

mzzf I've really enjoyed watching my mum becoming a grandmother. We're quite close as a family, although not geographically, and they have been fab. My mum keeps saying what a good job we're doing as parents and offering advice really tactfully in a way that doesn't make me feel like a failure. Having spent the past few days with them, it's been lovely as both my parents and sister were always taking J for a cuddle or rock to sleep. For some reason, J kept licking my dad's shoulder when he picked him up, so my dad was extra careful to pick out soft shirts to wear. I am incredibly thankful that I have such a lovely family - they are already counting down the days until they see J again!

Right, hoping I can get back to sleep again now J has finished feeding, being awake since 2am is not going to do much for my mood for the last day of the year. Roll on 2016 for better sleep!

Hallo!

Most important things first. fatty very sorry for your loss, hope your DP is coping. What a terribly sad situation all round

How is everyone doing tonight? mzzf, presume you are slumped somewhere around here?? frolic I see you there doing the cha cha slide!

This has been grumpy 2's first night in her own room (with company). It's gone pretty well in that she has been up about as much as normal but at least DH and I have been able to get some quality "off duty" sleep in our own room in shifts. Feeds at 1:30am, 4:30am and now at 6am so not too grim (seriously, if anyone had told me in my previous life that I would regard this as 'okay' sleep I'd have laughed at them!!)

No rolling here, although we are nearly there front to back. Can grab our toes now though and the big belly chuckles are coming along nicely

random we have the Beco Gemini like magrat and I can also recommend it. Very comfortable and much lower profile than the bush baby backpack we also have.

everything I've had the same experience with my Mum. Our relationship has always been challenging but since living closer to each other and being able to just pop round rather than have to stay over we have found a better equilibrium.

mzzf boo to second helpings of in-laws. The only thing there should be second helpings off at Christmas is Yule log!! Can you stash some stollen in the nappy bag??

X-post tindel, sorry to hear that you've been up since 2am. Eugh. Your family sound lovely though, I'm glad you've had some support from them over the holidays.

Oh fatty sending u massive hugs. Was anyone expecting him to do something like this or has it all come out of the blue? His poor gf and your dp :( so sad.

Frolic,i don't think wanting a little time to yourself is classed as 'palming your baby off'. I have people desperate to look after piper so who am I to say no to them heehee. Although I have had her all to myself this week apart from when dp took her when I was poorly. I guess I'm lucky that she'll take a bottle but i get the opposite problems of her being difficult to breastfeed instead. So it's swings and roundabouts I suppose. She'll take a bf eventually but sometimes she doesn't half kick up of a fuss about it which is pretty stressful when trying to do it discreetly around people and u can see them all looking at a screaming baby.
With the bottle/sippy cup maybe try each day but don't push it too much and eventually he will get it. And get your dh to do it.

Clstow yey on the sitting u . Clever boy. Since piper started doing it she's gotten stronger every day, it's amazing. Her balance is brilliant. We went out fr a Harvester breakfast yesterday and put her in one of there wooden highchairs which are definitely not designed for little babies and she was great in it. When she started to fall backwards she would pull herself forwards into a sitting position. It's amazing seeing them learn new things.

Fanby don't worry about her not rolling. Piper won't do it either. She's only rolled front to back because of gravity when she's been propped over a cushion, she's never rolled just from being straight on the floor. And they all develop at different speeds but will all get there eventually.

She's discovered her feet today so when I change her nappy she grabs it and chews on her toes which makes it difficult to change her nappy lol.

Praise for dp this morning. Without asking him to or knowing he was going to, he got up in the night when dd woke and settled her back to sleep! I'd barely woken up before he'd jumped out of bed. And it actually worked and she went back to sleep till her 5:45 feed. Whereas when I try to settle her back off I end up bringing her into bed with me. This means he should do all the middle of the night get ups seeing as he's better at it than me haha! (Now I'm thinking maybe he got up because I didn't wake up when she was crying so he had no choice, will have to ask him in the morning but I don't know)

Well,2015 is nearly over and what a year it has been for us all! It's all going so fast. Our little babies are fast becoming big babies.

Completely out of the blue. I ended up awake all night worrying anyway!

Morning frolic, missed your post about the war on bottles last night.

Personally I would (and do!) go out anyway. I time it so that I have just fed her, which (worst case scenario) guarantees me 3 hours. In reality I can get away with as long as 5 most times - I've not been called back yet. By this age most breast fed babies can physically go for longer without feeds and you might be pleasantly surprised by your DHs success in simply distracting DS until you get back. When the milk provider isn't there its not such a temptation

Chances are DS will simply cluster-feed a little more on your return (if he notices at all).

Wanting to go out by yourself is an entirely normal emotional response by this stage. Go for it, and have a lovely time!!

I'm currently hiding upstairs after a lie in so dh can try a bottle. I can hear some upset, so I'm sitting on my hands. I just want to go to him 😥

Oh dear! Dh just brought him upstairs - he did a little giggle when he saw my boob. I'm going to be bf'ing a 10 year old, aren't I?!

I can't believe it's nye already! This year has gone so fast. Thank you all for your unwavering support and friendship. I am very appreciative. Gang Mugabe is the best!

It's so interesting the difference in how our babies are developing now. Ds can roll back to front, but hates the front and gets very upset. Gone are my quiet cuppas while he plays under the baby gym. He rolled front to back in baby massage at about 11 weeks, but it must've been a fluke because he's not done it since. He can't sit up without support at all.
They will all do things now at different rates, and it's so important that we don't get worried about that. The normal parameters are so broad.

Thanks for all your advice about the bottle thing. Me being out of the room clearly had no impact this morning! He won't have a dummy again now he can find his thumb.
And thank you dozy. You are right. I do deserve time to myself. Getting it feels like lots of hard work, mind you!

I hope everyone has a good last day of 2015 - here's hoping for sleep in 2016!

X-Posts! Thanks slow!
I think you're probably right. He just sounded so upset now, bless him. Distraction worked for about 1/2 an hour according to dh. Maybe me being upstairs was too close.

Don't worry frolic. When your breast feeding your 10 year old, I'll still be co sleeping with mine

I second what slow says. Just go anyway. If you are really worried then only go for 3 hours to start with but can totally understand you needing some time to yourself. I am going for a swim on Sunday as DS is driving me a bit mad with his sleep and last night I felt like screaming at him. We all need some time not being mum I think.

Tindel DS is the only one in my nct to not sleep through. Also feel like the voice of doom and depression over it. But as others have said IT WILL PASS. I am saying this to myself all the time at the moment.

Odds of me managing to still be awake at midnight? Slim to none.

Happy New Year's Eve everyone!

frolic how close are you to starting solids? Ime they get easier to leave once they are having some meals, I plan to continue to bf again but for example I may bf mid morning then go out and dh can give her lunch and some water or ebm in a sippy cup with her food, then I'll come back in the afternoon

Whoever mentioned the m&s nye evening in meal that's a great call, hopefully they'll have some left for me to get this afternoon

Frolic my friend's baby became a bottle refuser just before I was due to look after her while her parents went to a wedding. My friend gave her a big BF before she left then I kept her busy all day and when it got to bedtime she did take the bottle. Not much - maybe just 50ml but it was enough to get her to sleep and she was still asleep when they got back from the wedding. I think what I'm trying to say is your DS will eat from the bottle if he's really hungry. And I think it's essential that you get some time off - Mumming is blooming hard work and we all need a break sometimes.

Speaking of breaks I'm just waiting to get my nails done 💅🏻 Have left DS with his Dad who slept in till midday today 😱 Mind you he was up with DS till 2 - weird that our baby seems to need less sleep than us these days

I reckon your NCT guys can't all be telling the whole truth. There's 8 in our NCT group and not one of the babies is reliably sleeping through... Or maybe we're just a cursed group!

Gotta go, nails calling...

Yup I was at mugabes last night. On my regular stool! I know it's sounds like I've brainwashed myself but it is amazing how little sleep you need to get by on. I'm not saying it's sustainable for years but short term it's horrible but doable. So you might well make midnight Tindel and Kbro, but you'll feel like crap!!! 😁

Frolic - deffo leg it for a couple of hours if you can. I need to instigate something similar with DH, not just sleep time for me but a chance to go out that isn't just food or baby shopping. I'm also being bold and asking mil to come over on her odd days off to have DD so I can swim, do cpd stuff or run etc.

Dozy - that's so good of your dp. Mine just doesn't hear her at all. And it's me that wakes at the merest of her snuffles!

Anyone else have a get up time of 6-6.30?! Am I the only one? You guys all seem to get extra sleep after a 6am wake up whereas DD is wide awake! I do worry she's not getting enough sleep but I certainly can't make her...

So I'm all alone in mil's house whilst DH and her are out buying lunch. DD is asleep on me and im thinking of what my resolutions/to do list will be for 2016. Win the lottery is on there as is run another half marathon - clearly I'm delusional!! 😁