It's the Christmas party at Mugabe nights, pull up a bar stool and order your shots! August 2015

[FattyNinjaOwl]

New thread for all the regulars at the bar, and the not so regulars too.

Struggling to get and keep up to date! Sorry for my absence! Just been crazy busy and haven't had time to get on! DS's sleep has been all over the show so even night feeds I'm doing with eyes shut so can't post! Feel as tired as when he was newborn again not good! Yes to whoever said I could cope if I knew when it would end!

Fatty- congratulations by the way! Not had chance to say!

Can't remember what else has been said or I haven't read it all yet!

Mzzf- don't know about the mum/ daughter relationship as I lost mine at 14 but I can imagine it strengthening it as I have found that since having DS I miss her all over again some 14 years later.

Going to go catch up some more think I've got another 3 pages yet!!

mzzzf my relationship with my mum grew so much once I had DS1. As you all know I was still a kid myself, pregnant at 16, gave birth at 17. I was still living with my mum, but she made it clear he was my baby, I wanted him, I had to deal with him. But having him made me realise just how much I meant to my mum. And why I hadnt been allowed to do half the shit I wanted to, and why she punished me when I went ahead and did it anyway. It made me realise she only ever wanted what was best for me, because if she only felt a fraction of what I felt for my baby, then how could she possibly want to ruin my life?!

It also made me appreciate just how much I need her and how much she does for her kids.

Wow I didn't log on for a couple of days due to Xmas activities and pages and pages of chat have passed!

On the lack of sleep issue I say do whatever gets you the most and throw out the rule book. Sleep deprivation is torture and different mums/babies have different solutions. I co sleep as I hate getting up in the night and get anxious if dd isn't sleeping next to me - I hate her being in a cot as I don't hear her wake until she's actually crying. When she's asleep next to me she bfs several times a night but I sleep through most of it. I know some people prefer to move baby to their own room so they aren't disturbed though.

I'm not doing anything for new year as it's dd1s birthday so it will be her party this weekend. I have about 10 four year olds and twenty accompanying parents descending on the house, eek! Any party games or ideas appreciated I'll be loading up with party food in Waitrose and there's no chance I'll be cooking anything for that many people haha.

Hope lots of sleep comes all our way tonight!

I've not told you lively mugabeans yet. DPs brother tried to kill himself on boxing day. He was found by his partner and taken to hospital he had two heart attacks. They put him into a medically induced coma, to give him his best shot. He had a shunt in his head to drain the fluid that was building around his brain.
All sorts of drugs were given to try and save him, and he is on life support. Nothing seemed to be working.
He was given a ct scan. He is basically dead. His brain is too severely damaged for them to save him. His mum has agreed to stop the medications, but not turn off the life support.
They've now said that his brain will more than likely swell up and kill him anyway now that he's not on medication, but if not, she has while Friday to wait for a miracle.
DP is at the hospital with the rest of the family. I don't expect to see him until his brother dies now tbh. He needs to be with them.
Such a sad situation.

Everything- I've found the last few weeks particularly tough too I think it's the exhaustion as I notice after particularly bad nights I'm at my worst.

Kbb- when DS had bronchilitis/ a cold he went from 30/35 oz a day to some days only 12/14oz and I was so worried but once he was better he made up for it by gobbling 7oz bottles every 3 hours even through the night for a few days so I wouldn't worry too much if you can but it is hard!

Frolic- we use MAM bottles which after being awful with TT ones DS is great with.

Mzzf- it's me that has DS in his own room already- it seemed to make a big difference at first and he did a full nights sleep and a few long 5 hour night stretches in there but then got a cold and has been horrific since! He is still coughing and flemmy so in hoping it's just that and once it's gone he'll
Improve again. We were definately disturbing him- or should I say DH was as you may remember I slept on a mattress on the floor of DS room for 3 weeks when we first moved him as I wasn't ready for him to be alone and even then he slept much better!

Fanby- we use snuffle babe too I plaster it on and DS is fine! Also I put a bit on the inside of his sleeping bag and on a bob that I have tied round the corner bars but well away from his head.

NYE I'm bridesmaid for my friend- dreading what the photos will be like as I currently look and feel like total shot from lack of sleep!! DH won't be drinking so if DS gets grumpy and won't sleep in his pram will take him home and I'll follow as soon as is acceptable after!! I'll fall asleep for real on the dance floor otherwise!

Fatty xposts sorry- I am so sorry to hear about your dp's brother so sad and at such a time of year. Sending thoughts and keeping fingers crossed for a miracle for you.

Oh gosh fatty that's awful. Thinking of you all. In camp magrat, the news is that I've totally changed my mind about nursery and going back to work. Can't bear the idea of it. Which is mad as I was such a career woman. These babies!!

My god fatty, that is truly horrific for your poor dp and his family. Suicide is such a complicated thing. They must all be going through hell.
Look after yourself - we are all here if you need to talk.

First wake up of the night for us. I should've got to bed sooner!

I am still here. Been lurking as all a bit much with illnesses etc. Just wanted to send my sympathy to fatty. That's very sad. Hope your dp gets through it.

As far as sleep and bottles go don't beat yourself up about not having done X or Y sooner. I don't think it makes a difference. Baby does what baby does. There's no guarantee it would have made any bloody difference. Do what works for you until it doesn't then do something else. It doesn't matter when you time things because it will keep changing all the way through. Whatever keeps you sane.

M&S do fancy dine in on NYE. Party mama stylee!

Oh fatty, how horrid :( sending lots of love to you and DPs family x

Lily - also sorry to hear that about your mum, a tough age for that to have happened x

Mzzzf - hope you're getting some zzzz's in tonight lady!! Are you able to FaceTime/Skype your mum? I'm super close to mine and we do that daily (more or less) rather than call :) xx

We're heading out new year, in laws are babysitting. Don't really want to go tbh, would much rather see it in with baby BUT I know DH really wants to go - bet I don't make it until midnight, I literally will fall asleep under the coat pile!!!

Just had a 3 hour block, maybe a bit less, so I reckon I'll be at the bar a couple more times ce soir!

Oh gosh fatty, so sorry about your DPs brother. The holidays are a hard time for anyone who is struggling with mental health issues, and it's so sad to lose someone at what is supposed to be a happy time.

2nd wake up, 1st feed here! So tired its untrue when will DS sleep for more than 1.5 hours again 😩

Joksar love the m&s ny idea!

Thanks Fanby- you'd think 14 years would be enough for me to be at peace with it but I don't think I've ever dealt with it properly so every so often I'm smacked in the face with grief all over again which of course seems ridiculous to people around me after so long so I bottle it up all over again. Vicious circle anyone!? I know how you feel about NYE I am gutted by the fact that I feel obliged to stay at the wedding till at least midnight but DS will most probably have gone home by then so I won't be with him for the new year.

Magrat- are you going to be a SAHM then now? Wish we could afford that! Part time will be a stretch but I'm determined to
Make it work!

No doubt be back at the bar in an hour or so!

I'm back too, last two nights were clearly a one off! Still it's not every hour!

Lily - of course not, she's your mum. I bet you miss her every single day and sometimes when it's big events or you're just having a down day that's when it gets you - or bangs you in the face as you say. I'm surprised people think you should be over it by now, you just do all the grieving you need to do xx

And again! Had to have a nappy change too! Fingers crossed DH will get up with madam in the morning and I can have an extra hour zzzzz

Ola ladies!

Fatty, that's utter crapness to be dealing with. Your poor DP must be in bits.

Lily - yesssss it was you with the own room. I knew someone was kipping down on the floor of the room but couldn't remember who. I think we will get her moved but first we must get a tree chopped down that raps against the side of the house and window where she is. It's bloody noisy from our room so will be too much in there. I thought we had time to do it but guess it's all go now! I think it's the same here too, it's DH that disturbs her. I don't specifically know why as I doubt he's any noisier than me. I sort of don't want to let her go solo but also realise that her sleep is disturbed too.

Fanby - for tiredness there is only caffeine and cake. It does prove to be a wonderful weight loss tool though, getting up lots at night but it will make you lose you're happy normal self. Totes hear you on 'brave face' there's only a very small handful of folks who see me without it.

On a positive note mini mzzzf slept for a 3hr block last night so at least that's an improvement of 15mins on last night. I just keep repeating to my self ad nauseum "it will get better"

Happy Wednesday folks 😁

Oh fatty what a terrible situation. Sorry to hear that.

Lily heck I don't think you can ever be at peace about someone dying especially when it's your mum. People who think that must not have lost someone close to them. And big life events always bring it back to a head again.
Ooh a new years wedding, thats unusual. I've never thought to have one nye. I hope u do manage to have fun despite the sleep deprivation. And some good quality make up and I'm sure you'll look ravashing. I'm still feeling too fat atm so would hate to be a bridesmaid right now although it may have given me the motivation to lose it of I had been. Dp reckons I told him the weight would just drop off me while I was busy getting as fat as I could during pregnancy. I don't remember saying that. I knew I'd find it hard. I thought I'd be going from a lot more walks than I've managed due to the weather. January is a new start though. No more pigging out.

Fanby have u got babysitters for over night or just the evening? Hope you do manage to midnight but I can imagine it might be hard.

Joskar nice to hear from.you. been thinking of you. Hope you're starting to feel better soon.

Dd has definitely gone back to having a feed in the middle of the night despite my efforts of trying not to feed her lol. Had a 3am feed and a 7am feed and she's back to snoring on me right now. So it's not too bad really but i do miss the full nights sleep.

Think dp struggles with the lack of sleep more than I do. He keeps thinking he'll be able to catch up but forgets with a baby that you can never catch up really. U just have to adjust. We went out for tea and for a few drinks but went early on so we were home at a reasonable time. That was fun. I'm glad we are having some time together just the 3 of us. We needed it.

He died last night at around half two.
DP seems surprisingly calm. Probably shock, even though he knew it was going to happen I don't think the reality of that had sunk in.

lily my mum lost her mum when she was 8. It isn't something you "get over". You just learn to live with the pain.(my mums words)

Morning all! Wake ups at 11, 2 and 5. He was obviously just teasing me with last week's longer stretches.
He has learnt to pull his socks off this morning and is finding his new skill hillarious!

I hope he feels better soon kbb. Ds was so upset when he had a sore throat. Poor babies.

Sorry your mum has had to go home mzzf. My relationship with mine has become much better since Ds arrived. She can be a bit distant, but since loosing my lovely gran last year and Ds coming along she is being great. Ds is the first boy in the family for a long time - she is so pleased about that.
Yay for a 3 hour stretch - fingers crossed she builds on it.

lily, I think it's very normal to get a slap in the face every now and again from grief following such a significant loss at such a young age. being a new mum is also bound to be making you think of yours 💐
I hope the wedding goes well. Surely your friend won't mind if you don't want to stay that late?
Thanks for the tip about Mam bottles.

I'm not good on party games giraffes - but I would imagine that Pinterest is your friend in this situation. Good luck!!

Nice to hear from you jockstar. I hope you're feeling better.

fanby, ☕️☕️☕️ Sorry you had a crap night

I hope everyone else is ok and that frank hasn't blown anyone away. Apparently he has brought some big waves and dh has gone out surfing first thing. Crazy!

X-posts fatty - I'm so sorry for your loss

fatty that's such sad news - my thoughts are with you and your family X

It's been hectic since Xmas - DD3 was 6 yesterday - she had a party at a restaurant / soft play for some school friends a couple of days ago then we had close friends to the house yesterday - just ordered in lots of pizza🍕🍕🍕 - great fun had by all

I love Xmas but don't like New Year much - desperate to take all the Xmas decorations down and restore some order in the house!!

frolic love the fleece - I had a big Next order arrive too!!

Not feeling too well - really bad cold/aches/sore head . Babyloves has the cold too and is not sleeping well at all - the longest she slept last night was 2 hours, then she just fed on and off for the rest of the night - it will get better!

Unfortunately when I had children I became less close to my mum - I didn't have a great childhood but it wasn't until I had my own children that I realised just how awful my mum had been - we have had no contact for nearly 3 years now.

Sorry, that's a really moany post from me - tired and unwell - a day of chocolate needed

Throws a giant duvet over all of us collectively. Posts a note on the outside that instructs DH/DPs to take care of stuff. Orders pizza and chocolate with a side of hot toddies for under the duvet.

Fuck it - let's not be adults or in charge today.

I have crayons!

I have just smashed the head in of s Lindt chocolate Christmas bunnie. This will not end calorie free well 😁

Oh fatty that's awful. Such sad news.

Mzzzf agree. Definitely brought me closer to my mum and sister. Lily and loves that must be really tough. And lily there is no time limit on grief. I can imagine having your DS has made you miss her even more. for us all.

DS had a slightly better night. Up every 2 hours which is not great but so much better than last few weeks. Mzzzf I am always praying for 3 hours too. Everything would be ok with 3 hours. Until of course I get 3 and then I'll want 4 and so on and so on.

Magrat that's great news. They are such game changers these babies.

Fatty I am so sorry for your loss. What a terrible situation. Your poor dp. I don't know what else I can say other than I am thinking about you and your family.

Lily you are not being silly at all. I lost my dad nearly 15 years ago and sometimes the grief will just sneak up on me again. Definitely having children has brought those feelings up again but it can also be the little things too. I made a steak and ale pie a few weeks ago and even if I do say so myself it was very good and I knew my dad would have loved it too.

I have found since having children I am closer to my mum. She moved 200 miles to be near me and she does 3 days childcare when I am at work. But what made the biggest difference was being able to spend short periods of time together. An hour here and there rather than visiting for 3-4 days at a time when we would just annoy each other.

I had another rubbish night only this time it was me who couldn't sleep. Ds2 was up at 11, 3 and 5 so getting better but my throat was so sore. I am in full support of mzzzf idea of hiding under a duvet all day. I feel like I have been ill all of December and really ready to kick it into touch and start the new year healthy and happy. We can but try.

Ds2 will be sharing a room with his brother so no idea when we will be moving him. Suppose when I can trust ds1 not to climb into his cot or try to pick him up so when he's about 5 then

Right off for some chicken soup.