December 2012: the one where they're all potty trained. Sort of....

[Barbeasty]

The old thread was getting dangerously close to 1000 messages, so thought I'd better start this one.

Ah frazzled glad you saw a nice dr. I've done similar but started on sertraline (as mine is anxiety) and also self referred to talking therapy which I hate but I only have two more sessions. The first two weeks I felt worse and after a month I suddenly magically felt better. I'd be too scared to ever stop taking it as sometimes the feelings creep back in still but I feel so much better than before.

I didn't know you'd been feeling rotten too spotty. I'm glad you're feeling better and hope that frazzled quickly follows suit. It might not be your thing, but I have found mindfulness helpful in controlling my sometimes crazy mind. There's a good app called headspace that has 10 free sessions, and I really liked the mindfulness for dummies book.

Spotty and Frazzled, i am sorry your both feeling this way but i am glad that you are getting some help. I often think that those who seem most in control need the most support because they don't allow themselves time to recover from things. Please take care of yourselves and remember we are here for you, both here and on FB, if you need a more private setting.

I'm ok I just have a lot of hypothetical worries (according to my counsellor) and think no one likes me. The miseducation is amazing though I never imagined it could help like this.

Frazzled hope you're feeling ok, do you take your tablet at night? I found that helped.

Ds is still asleep 12.5 hours so far....this is what no nap does!

Yesterday was my first one Spotty but I'm planning on taking it at bedtime today.

The side effects wore off after an hour and this morning I felt great. Glad yours is working Spotty.

So far today I've sold my car and picked up my new one with both J and my 1yo niece in tow!

I've now made them both tea, cleaned up 2 smashed plates that I dropped, scrubbed and flipped my piss-soaked mattress and been to the dentist for a course of antibiotics for a gum infection.

In short I've had the most stressful day ever and I've breezed through it without a single tear or a cross word! It's probably placebo effect but as long as it works I dont mind

Actually I found I felt much better just talking to the dr and admitting there was a problem. Glad you're feeling more positive

A problem shared spotty

I admire you both for doing something to help.

My friend lost his mum today, and i know theres nothing i can do other than to say sorry for your loss and tell him that if he needs anything then i will help out. But how awful for his family.

hales. You can keep checking in on him, sending him messages so he knows you are thinking of him but not necessarily expecting an answer. Hopefully in time he will be able to get some benefit from your support. It's so hard to watch those you love be in pain.

My friend did that for me when dm was first diagnosed and it really helped to know she was quietly there.

Hales like WL said, just let your friend know that you are there, whatever they need whenever. A friend lost her DP last year and DH wasn't sure what to do and he didn't want to disturb her. I told him to send a message and see if she wanted to talk, but just to let her know he was there whatever. She really appreciated it and a few days later she called and they chatted, but it was nice because DH was there for when she was ready, IYKWIM

WL how is your mum doing? And how are things with DH at the moment? You really have had a lot on the last year or so, I hope you are managing to take some time for you.

I'm trying to sort out the house. It seems to be growing as a task almost daily I am not even sure I'm sorting anything out, I think I am just making more mess! My plan is to just get everything "in order" and chuck/sell stuff we don't need and hopefully overall just reduce what we have.

Thanks nutella. I heard today that another friends mum just died. So sad for her.
My mum is doing well thanks, just finished another round of radiotherapy, which will be her last as she's had a fair bit over the years. Her meds still seem to be working well and she's generally in good spirits. To look at her and meet her you would never know what was going on underneath.
Dh is still making lots of effort and I'm mostly over it. I know that realistically I will always have to push him as he's a bit lazy - not in a horrible way, but just content to just be, whereas I'm a bit more restless and need to be moving forward. I know that part of it is also about my stress and being super busy, taking that out on him but also needing him to step up. I think I now need to move past it and rearrange my face and focus on the good.

Your house plan sounds much like my own. My goal is to take one bag of stuff to the charity shop every week - I have a box on the airing cupboard and put things in there as I find them. We're doing dd1s bedroom over the next month or so, then our room which will force a bit of a sort out and better storage. I find I its easiest to think about one item at a time - hence the box.

WL good plan with the house! Glad to hear your Mum is doing well. It must be really tough on you all though. It's a lot for any family when someone is going through treatment for something serious.

And your DH sounds a lot like mine. I'm wondering if men are lazy and often content to just ease into a rut. DH can leave stuff for months and it won't bother him. I try not to pick after him on purpose; because I'm sure that when I do he does less. Then other times he will be amazing and motivated and we will get a load of stuff sorted. Otherwise I feel like I'm hearing cats!

Poor DS had another croup attack last night and stayed home today. He was exhausted last night. Today he was a general pain in the Arse. I would say he was almost well enough to have gone to kindergarten today, but he would probably have been asleep in his lunch . He fought sleep all afternoon and then zonked out in the car on the way to pick up DD. She made funny "shhhhhh" noises at him when she got in the car and saw him asleep.

Hi all. Sorry been awol for a while. Had got logged out and didn't reset my password till now which was actually so easy!
Sounds like everyone has had a few rough patches recently. think when you are feeling low you battle on through Christmas and then come Jan it really hits. Cbt is great and yep try and plough through those first couple of weeks on the meds. & remember this is just the start so much can be done- increased doses, new meds, cbt etc there is light at the end of what feels like a dark tunnel at the moment.
This year I'm trying to put family first. Feel like we're always driving around to see friends who live a distance away but they won't ever make journey here. Will concentrate on those that put in what I do. Taken a while to feel happy with that and Accept I may grow distant from those that don't make the effort but realise now that's it ok. also few friends without kids who want to arrange to meet only without kids which in theory lovely but between work etc I actually want to spend more not less of my free time with the kids so if they can't accept that we come as a whole package sometimes then oh well. Does that sound really bad? Can't help but feel a bit guilty but had enough of it all to be honest!

New Years resolution is also read for half hr before bed rather than be on phone or I pad. Was always so tired after work or day with kids then catching up on more work in the Evening that before bed just wanted to turn mind off but actually the whole blue light theory is probably true and feel a lot better reading instead- calmer.

Not at all ddas you have to think of yourself and your family not everyone else.

We went on a super muddy walk yesterday. We did four miles, even dd. Ds' bike was covered!

You probably don't remember but around the time ds was born dd had to have both of her legs in casts because her calf muscles are so tight, anyway she's probably going to have to have them again so I'm feeling pretty stressed about that!

WL glad your mum seems to be getting on ok sounds like you're having a tough time in general. It'll get better

Hope you're feeling ok willyou

Poor dd spotty. How long will she have them for? How does she feel about it? Bless her.
ddas not at all - I did the same a few years back with a particular friend consciously but prob a few more less consciously. I spend more time with those that share the effort, and also more time at home def equals less stress. Also proven that reading for pleasure for just 10 mins a day significantly lowers stress.

Well last time it was only two weeks but could be up to four. They change them weekly. I don't think she really understands as we haven't spoken about it properly. I think she will be devastated to miss swimming as she's so close to going up to stage 2!

Spotty as I was reading I remembered her having had issues in the past. Does she have physio too? It is hard when they're little and don't really get what's happening. But then it's also a challenge to know how much to tell them. You don't want them to worry about it.

Frazzled how are you and the mess doing? I think of you often

DS was home yesterday and we wrote a letter to grandma. On his walk to kindergarten this morning he posted it I am going to ask my Mum to write a reply when she gets it. But I'll wait until she gets it so that it's a nice little surprise

I'm doing okayish. I had to take the citalopram down to 10mg as I was so ill from the side effects on Saturday. But now the effect wears off in the evening (the worst time) so I'm gonna try taking it back up in a couple of days.

I made sure to take DS out loads over the weekend. Swimming, parties, cafe, soft play. Need to keep busy!

I am reading but find replying hard some days. I'll get there.

Sorry, no sleep means I'm also reading and not replying. I can send hugs though ((((()))))

We've had some success with the early mornings though, at least for R! I dug out an old clock radio with big glowing numbers, taped over the minutes and told him that anything before 6 was night time. He's been waking around 6:30 since we started, and is determined to get his chocolate for waking after 7! If he wakes up at 8 I've told him I'll walk straight down to the shop and buy him coco pops for breakfast lol

Yes she has physio. She has a hereditary genetic condition from me unfortunately.

Spotty how is DD feeling about it?

Glad you're feeling a bit better Frazzled. Would retiming the meds help? Stop it wearing off at the worst time without increasing the side effects again?

We had a call from the hospital this morning. DD's tonsils are coming out next week!

Geoffrey i love it, especially the coco pops part.

Frazzled, well done sometimes the keeping going and making plans is the hardest part to do. I feel it in my bones you are going to get there and it will make you so much happier in the long run knowing you can get through anything.

Spotty, i hope your ok. When are the casts getting fitted?

Ddas, i think i unconsciously did that after H was born. I now really only bother with people who bother with me. And i also stopped caring what others thought of me as much as i did. I realised as long as i knew i was trying my best that was good enough for me.

WL and Nutella i like the idea of cleaning the house of rubbish one room at a time. We are hiring a skip when we move house it is amazing how much junk we have accumulated since moving in together.

Beasty what brilliant news for your Dd hopefully she won't be in too much pain after the op. Are you able to get time off work at such short notice?