Just Mumming Thread 7 - the grads grads cope with walking, own rooms and have little time for shagging

[LaLaLaaaa]

New thread! Roll call...

Oh la, it sounds really stressful. You poor things. Sounds like you're doing fab though. Like the others said, make sure you eat and drink something. Glad to hear he's perked up. Very reassuring that he's now eating.

I know wil, I can't believe it myself! I know it's such a cliché but it really does go so fast.

We've had a really weird night sleepwise, not her usual routine at all. Was up at 7am playing I thought for the day ... nope, she fell back asleep from 9 till 12! Hoping against hope that this doesn't mean that tonight's bedtime routine is going to go all skewiff as dh is going out and I'll be on my lonesome.

Oh, and fleur x

Oh La That's heartbreaking for you. Like the others said - it'll prob be worse for you than him. Bit of boob and a mummy snuggle and he'll forget all about it. Make sure you take care of yourself too. I'm sure if there's no protein+ glucose in his csf you can go before Tues if he's perking up and on abx? My medical/ work brain is lost somewhere underneath all the baby shizzle but I think that's right. I suppose you can't be too careful with babies though.

Sorry you're having a rough time Fleur. Is DH being less of a pain? Glad you got a bit of time to chill even if your hair appliances are conspiring against you

Tee I saw your castle pics on fb! stalker You look ridiculously good for 8wks pp! Love Z's pram too. Think I might persuade MrP we need a Cosatto for minipopz v2.

Sympathies for the early start wil... blackout blind might be worth a bash?

Am suspecting 7m growth spurt min ... miniP was up every hour from 8pm - 5.30am.... "hungry"

Oh Popz that sounds hard work. You must be knackered today.

See adults who stare and tut at young children when they're being loud: I want to ram their judgemental attitudes right up their arses. That is all.

Hello! Dh is bringing me laptop tomorrow so I'll finally catch up properly. I really struggle on the app to concentrate since having B.

He's had his lumbar puncture. I sobbed as I had to hand him over but apparently he was a very good boy and he doesn't seem bothered by it. He's had 2 lots of broad spectrum antibiotics and his temperature has come down. We've been moved to a private room which is nice as we were sharing with a 15 year old boy who I'm sure didn't appreciate the screaming baby and woman with massive swollen boobs out breastfeeding.

He's feeding normally so that's good

God poor that sounds hard!

Wil - I take it this happened to you? I think if it's a family area/place people should expect children to be thee and making noise. Fine dining restaurant - fair enough to be a bit peeved

Popz not poor

Oh I would've cried too La Glad it went as well as it could have though.

Yeah, I never really noticed how wanky some people can be about kids until I had one Wil... Bad day?

Night wakings are not great but somehow they don't seem as painful as they did in the newborn days. Probably because he pretty much goes straight back to sleep now once he's boobed. The worst part was having to wake him up at 7.30 to go out!

No good day actually but one little blip because she was scared. And it was most definitely a child place -not mental enough to take a toddler, especially my toddler, to fine dining!

Glad it's all done La and that his temp has dropped. Do the nurses seem happy with him?

Thanks for the hugs ladies, I really need them right now. I am struggling to hold my shit together and DH just doesn't get it. At all.

He hates me crying. So I try to hold it in.
He tells me to talk to him. But then dismisses everything I have to say.
He tells me off for eating rubbish all day but then tells me I should eat soup!! And that he cannot believe I don't get 10 minutes to heat and eat proper food, especially something hot.
He is in a mood with me because I look like I am constantly on the verge of tears.

Today is the first day since 29th July that he has had the opportunity to spend the day with us. He went out with friends (prearranged and totally fine from my perspective) and has now gone to the supermarket as I have failed to get enough food in this week. He has no idea what it is like.

I am so sorry to moan but I literally have nowhere to turn. I feel like such a bad mother, my baby is so unhappy.

There was an nct meet this afternoon but I couldn't go. The last one was so bad - S just screamed and screamed it was embarrassing, everyone suggesting a million and one things I should do and me just getting hotter and sweatier and more frustrated until I literally wrenched my pram out of the way and left. I think they all now think I am the group psycho. DH popped along to the meet on his way home and said that he doesn't think that the rest of the babies cry as much as S. Which made me feel even worse.

wil I am seeing HV this week and will ask about diet etc. I don't think S is crying in pain, his wind is much better since using infacol and I am fastidious about winding him, even in the middle of the night.
If I have to go dairy free in afraid it will be curtains for BF as I am vegetarian and get most of my protein from dairy - I think mentally it will be too much for me to completely change my diet too as selfish as that sounds

I am sorry to be on a downer, I know things could be worse and my woes pale in comparison to yours la but I just needed to let out some of my frustration.

As you were.

Awww fleur my heart goes out to you - this really isn't easy and your dh should be making things easier bit harder.

Firstly you're so not alone. I've cried every day so far about how exhausted I am, how much I hate having no independence anymore to be able to do things because I'm on call for bf and the general overwhelming responsibility of being a mum. The only positive to take from this hospital visit is its made me more grateful for having a healthy baby before who wanted to feed lots, as now that's a massive victory. But it is bloody hard being slave to a baby all day.

Have you anyone else you can talk to other than dh? I have a whatsapp group with my nct group where we message issues or questions to each other.

Your group won't think you're a psycho, they will all be having similar experiences and moments of being overwhelmed.

Dh needs to get that there's an actual thing called baby blues and that it's bloody hard caring for a baby all day! I've not even been able to keep up with reading all your news on here coz my brain is so tired and I can't find energy to type

Can you order shopping to be delivered? One less errand to run.

Sending you a massive hug xxx

Big hugs for everyone who needs them!

la I'm so glad his temp is down, fx things continue to improve.

fleur you sound like me with the crying, then we worked out H has silent reflux. She fed all the time because it soothed her throat from the stomach acid, she couldn't be laid down and screamed because that made more acid come up, BUT she wasn't sick so it wasn't obvious. When we got her diagnosed the doc said silent reflux is almost worse than normal because it burns their throat on the way up and again on the way down. We got gaviscon for her which helped a bit and then ranitidine which was like magic! Also kept her upright, angled the cot..sling during the day. I just wonder if that might be the problem? Also, tell your DH to try it for a bit! I completely understand how hard it is and had lads of meltdowns on here. You're an ace mum doing everything you can, your baby loves you and is well looked after. Sod the shopping!

A question for breastfeeding gurus... I can't pump any more as madam gets up most nights now and I don't have the time or energy. Worked out I've been apart from her for less then 9 hours in total since she was born and would like to be able to leave her without 2 weeks of trying to fit pumping in beforehand! She snacks so feeds every hour and a half so I can't time it with breast feeds...think I'm going to have to give her some formula if I want time away, we tried some today and she was fine with it (I know we're lucky she takes a bottle of expressed and now formula!). But - I feel guilty about it, maybe I should look upon it as part of weaning? She'll still be 99.9% breast fed but I need to be able to leave her sometimes. Will doing this (very occasionally!) affect my supply if I miss a couple of feeds and don't pump? I only want to express if I need to, don't want to make any precious me time more hassle than it has to be.

Oh Fleur Massive hugs! I'm so fucking angry at your OH You're tired and on a massive hormonal comedown from pregnancy and childbirth! Crying is normal and necessary and I feel a bit like its damaging for you to hold it all in. Tell him you don't like it when he pisses and therefore he should stop!!

I've heard stories similar to yours from a few women in my baby groups and all their babies turned out to have reflux. That constant screaming seems to be a feature. Does he seem better when he's upright? I'd make a GP appointment if you can. Hugs and and I wish we could do more for you. Is there anyone close to DH who you could speak to and get them to have a word with him about his attitude? Has he actually looked after S for a whole day yet?

People can be total wankers about kids. My dh told me to stop being silly the other day because when B cries my first thought is always whether the neighbours will be annoyed.

Wil - yes nurses have said its good his temp is down. He's asleep on my lap just now little sweetheart.

Zyla as long as you are keeping the supply going between pumping and bf it shouldn't lessen supply as your body produces whatever baby uses. I think you shouldn't feel guilty topping up with formula - you've done brilliantly to get as far as you have EBF

I would definitely back up the suggestion of taking him to GP fleur

Yeah la I figure I made it exclusively bf until 6 months so the very rare amount of formula can count as weaning! Thanks for the reassurance about supply.

Oh fleur bless you.
You are doing fantastic, and tears are completely normal. I still bawl every now and then, so tell him to stick his opinions where the sun never shines.

Well, the milk fest is over. She's barely drank anything all day. Not even water which she usually gets all excited over.
Suspect it's the appearance of top teeth imminently as her chubby little hand has been firmly wedged in her gob all day.

Question, is anyone else's LO into gouging your face? R does it and it is bloody painful and im hoping that my initial thought of ' shit something is different from other kids ' is wrong...

Name: Furryscoob
Age: 32
Dc's: DD 8.5 months old

Massive group hug, being a mum is bloody hard most of the time.

Fleur I echo what everyone else has said take minifleur to the GP.
Is there anyone else who can help instead of your DH? Mr Furry was great for the first 2 weeks & then totally confused why I couldn't cope with a baby & keep up with the house work & cook meals. I ignored him in the end & relied on other family for help until he snapped out of being a dick. Don't worry about your NCT group, they may have peaceful babies now but it will all change in the next few months.

La good to hear B's picking up, hope he continues to get better & you have someone to bring you biscuit supplies if the hospital foods crap.

min H is obsessed with faces, she pulls our glasses off, pulls my hair and MrZ's beard :). I think it's just that they don't have the fine motor control to be gentle yet. Does that make you feel better? :)

Oooo forgot, Hi snap

Yes minion totally normal, miniS has gone from nice kisses to shark face in the last few weeks or pinches my cheek really hard. seems to want to scratch one of my cheeks off too

Yup min - miniP is into slapping, grabbing, nipping and hair pulling... Motherhood is such a joy!

I wouldn't worry about a bit of formula now and again zy. Your supply will catch up once you're home and feeding again I would think!

I was told by bf counsellor that even if supply eases off a bit for some reason (eg illness or problems bf) you can build supply back up just by feeding and feeding again.

This mummy thing is just so hard sometimes. I've just bumped into my work friend on the ward who had her baby the other day. She's walking around with cabbage leaves in her bra, mastitis in one boob and her baby has vaginal infection. She looks like she's been hit by a bus and we both just cried

Oh bless her. It's such a vulnerable time. (That's a good euphemism too - I think I genuinely felt like I'd been hit by a truck mentally and physically for about a month afterwards!)

Hugs for everyone!
La you're right being a mum is seriously hard work. I was fine for a few weeks and now I'm back to crying all the time too.
I'm wondering if I've got a bit of PND- my brain is all over the place and I can't concentrate on anything, I feel quite down, overwhelmed and helpless some days. I look at people walking around and just wonder how much simpler their life must be without kids. OH doesn't drive so I have to go everywhere with him and take the kids too. So a trip to sainsburys is like a family outing! I'm tired of being tired, I'm not eating properly and I'll barely touch my tea but stuff myself with chocolate and cakes instead. I don't see anyone other than other mums with their kids at baby groups. I'm not in any way shape or form overweight but I'm not happy with my body and the way it looks. I feel jealous of younger women who clearly haven't had kids and long for my completely flat stomach. I don't feel attractive to OH anymore even though he says in being daft and he does. But I think why would he when there's loads of other girls he could be with. In even crying as I write this, how pathetic am I?!
Me and OH argue most of the time because we are so fed up of R crying and neither of us are coping very well with him. I just feel like everything's so shit at the moment and I'm bored with my life and sometimes wish I could relive 3-4 years ago when I was doing what the hell I wanted without a care in the world