The 11th Gemini bus - Trudging through the terrible twos

[AGnu]

Can I just say that the past week has been a bit hellish? (Relative to my personal experiences, not to take away that others having a hard week too, just need to throw that out there).

So, Saturday drove 3 hrs to go visit my dad at bro and SIL at this new cabin that my dad has decided is going to be "the family cabin". It's lovely. Boys had a great time. Lots of good memories to be made, etc, etc, etc. But. I get there and my boss sends me a text saying she is consulting with someone and she needs the access passwords to my accounts that I've set up for the company. Then about 30 minutes later she sends me a text that just says "Oh man, we are fucked". (I know, professional, right?). Then I am like "ahh???" and just get another text from her saying "still in meeting, will call you afterwards". TWO HOURS LATER at 7pm on a SATURDAY while I'm at a cabin with my family I got fired over the phone. WTF. She calls to tell me that we've been doing our jobs wrong this whole time. That this individual who came to consult with her says that I don't do my job properly and that I'm not qualified (but she is, of course, right?) and that SHE can make sure that there is enough money coming into our workspace. My boss then requests that I "transition" out so that to make sure that this new person who is completely taking over my job doesn't feel overwhelmed. Backstory is that I've been working with this woman since the beginning of her brilliant idea about this place. She asked me to stay along with her despite my many times telling her that I'd be fumbling and having to learn as I go as the position she wanted me to take on was a little beyond what I'm used to doing. My boss did not do things in a proper order to ensure that the business side of everything was taken care of before she started accepted clients so I was seriously scrambling to make sure that I could get the finances covered and the business "things" (I can't disclose too much just because of identity, you know? Gosh I wish I could tell you all absolutely ALL of it). She kept telling me that she would pay for me to get more training so that I could stay because she didn't want anyone else since we've been through so much together. She told me that her investment backer wanted to hire someone but she told them no because she wanted me. Then she fucking fires me over the phone over the weekend exactly 2 hrs after talking with someone else. She doesn't even offer to have this person work with me to train me on the job, she fires me so that this "consultant" can take my spot. In so many ways, I'm glad this happened. That job was majorly stressful. I had the weight of the entire workspace on my shoulders and we were not getting paid because of how badly things were out of order and beyond my control since she was taking on clients before we legally were allowed to and then telling the clients that things would be covered, then things were not covered and we lost several thousands of dollars because of this mishap of hers (but who got the blame? Yep). She says that I should be transitioning out. NOPE. Not happening. I'm planning on basically just dumping all of my files into Dropbox, taking myself off of all of the online accounts, and emailing all of our interbusiness contacts to let them know I'm resigning and they can speak with this new person. Any outstanding contracts will just be given to her too. Of course my boss has no idea about my MIL.... and she is desperate. I know this. I am neck-deep in how unorganized and how incorrectly I've been pushed to complete things out of proper order. She didn't know what she was doing at all, I had an inkling on how it should be done but I'm in no-way a professional at setting up a new business of that magnitude, and wanted to make sure she was happy so I did it her way and now I'm the scapegoat of what all went wrong. I suppose someone has to be the one to blame and throw under the bus, right?

Thanks frus. After a much needed 2-glasses of red wine on Sat night and chatting with my family, this has been a blessing in disguise. We are at the crossroads of SO many different things in life right now that eliminating that stress like you said, is so freeing. It's one less thing I need to worry about now since the major blow about MIL last week.

Oh my GOSH, 3 years!!! We've been chatting together for almost 4. Love you guys. So thankful you are all here.

Oh my goodness. You only had 2 glasses of bring? I would have polished the bottle after that news Freedom is a wonderful feeling, cheers to freedom Woohoo to crossing one more stress off the list! Sorry you're having to go through that crap though at a time like this!

Yay to 3 year olds on the bus Happy Birthday baby Frus! Did he enjoy eating lots of cake and opening presents?

So I'm back from my trip away, obviously! Wow it was an amazing distraction!! It hit me hard today though when my MIL was downloading the latest So much to organise, so much stress and so much sadness! DH has dropped a bombshell on me as he doesn't want bpear at the funeral. I think I would normally agree but I'm 6.5 months pregnant and I'm sick of leaving bpear in tears for other people and I just want my babies close by. Maybe I've planted a seed and he will change his mind in the next few days.

MIL has gone home for a few days to sort out funeral arrangements. Mega relieved as I really need my space back whilst I try and muster up the energy to pack for our holiday and sort out final arrangements for bpears birthday. She's back at the weekend for another week and a bit. She's staying here when we're away. I am seriously not happy about this plan but have no say in it as DH says he would worry too much about her if she was staying somewhere else. I stupidly told the neighbours that she's here next week. Very foolish of me as they will probably invite her for tea and she will reveal everything about us which is just my worst nigjtmare. I'm a very private person and I don't really like my neighbours knowing the ins and outs if you know what I mean My neighbours have asked for our number and I'm just going to accidentally forget to give it to them!

Best bit about being away was getting lots of attention and nice comments about my bump. Worst bit about coming home was being reminded how I don't get attention. Quite sad really! Still, I will do my best to keep those feelings aside in the circumstances. I have a midwife appt this week which I'm quite looking forward to and bpear said that he missed baby so that was nice to hear I had a little chat with him in the garden this afternoon about daddy being sad because we can't see grandpa anymore because grandpas gone to heaven. I just said its OK though because you have 2 grannies who love you very much. Who knows if any of it got understood but I felt I had to say something about why mummy and daddy have been feeling sad!

Wow, bring, that's a harsh way to find out! I'm glad you're seeing a positive side to it though. Hopefully it'll give you that extra bit of brain space to help you process the situation with MIL & your response to it.

Sorry you're still feeling a bit unnoticed, pear. If it's any consolation, we love you! I went to a funeral a while ago where there were 2 young children. They were at the crem too. They were very well behaved throughout. I totally understand needing your own space, I'd hate to have MIL here for any length of time, I barely tolerate the people who have to live here sometimes! Just keep reminding yourself that it's a short term arrangement & MIL just needs a little TLC before she can gather herself enough to get on with her life. I hope your MW appt goes well!

My friend had her 12 week scan today. I'm thrilled everything's looking good but I did get a little pang of jealousy when she told me her due date, it makes it more real somehow. I told DH the scan went well & all he said was "that's good" in a pretty uninterested way. I'd almost convinced myself I didn't want a 3rd, now I can feel myself slipping back to being that crazy lady who cries every time she sees a baby! To top it off, we're going camping with her & a few other families this weekend. It'll be lovely to hang out but whenever I see her now she might as well have an enormous neon arrow pointing at her belly declaring "I'm having a baby, you're not."

I realise my whinge is totally insignificant compared to what others are going through, but I can't talk to DH about it without feeling like I'm going to make him agree out of guilt & now I can't talk to my best friend either! Feel free to ignore me though, just needed to vent!

Happy birthday to boy-frus!

Unfortunately Agnu my MIL is not really in a position to live on her own so it looks like she will be spending a lot of the summer with us now. They were due to move into a flat in September but for some insane reason they didn't sort out a will so the money side of things are now v complicated. Not only will DH have to spend a lot of time helping her sort the situation out as she will need to maybe sell shares or something to be able to afford the move but it also now looks like she could be living with us up until my due date. Obviously I have to go along with helping as much as possible but as you can imagine this is a very weird situation for me to be in. This is a lady I was not getting on with at all because she gave me zero help, wasn't a hands on granny and doesn't support my decision to give up my career. Now since FIL passed away she's been watering my plants, emptying the dishwasher and actually showing an interest in bpear. It's all just a bit mind blowing and I can't help but feel like it's all because she feels like she's got her DS back. My mum and I always felt that she was v jealous when we got married and her actions reflected me taking him "away" from her. Anyway, one day at a time. Just as someone who is preparing to give birth...it's not an ideal situation as you can imagine I don't actually think she's showered since the event so my living room is a bit smelly

Definitely moan and share as much as you like Agnu! For one its nice just to read about something different and two...I really know how it feels to have a burning desire to have another baby!! The jealousy sucks. Remember how I was even jealous of Lor at one point and I don't even know her in RL So, what's the latest with your DH feelings about it? Last time we spoke I got the impression he was thinking it over?

DH has just informed me that bpear can go to the funeral after all now that his mother has said she doesn't mind what we do. My life is now dictated by my MIL. This is what I'm talking about

Is there no way around having her stay for the whole summer, pear? Maybe DH could take her back to her house for a week so you get a break? Other relatives? You stay with your mum? Send her home & hire a carer?! Failing that, how much wine can you fit in your house?

I typed a reply earlier but my tablet is playing up & wouldn't post. It wasn't anything important, just wittering on about my new cleaning binge! I deep cleaned the bathroom last week & I've been working on the utility room & kitchen today. It's like a pre-pregnancy nesting thing, as if having a super clean house is going to make DH decide he does want a baby! Last time I made him talk about it he said he was trying to convince himself he wants one because he knows I do. Not sure I want a baby with someone who has to talk himself into it, I want him to want the child! It's such a ridiculous situation. He's known for literally years that I wanted more. I'm pretty sure if he was going to talk himself into it then he'd have done it by now. I wish he'd just admit that he's never going to want another one so I can come to terms with it, it's the waiting for him to decide I can't take.

I think I'm going to take a little break from MN for a while. DH admitted today that he doesn't think he's going to come round to the idea of #3. Also today I found out one of his cousins is going to become a father & some more of my friends are expecting too. The cousin one is going to be particularly raw tomorrow because we're entertaining other relatives, including another pregnant cousin, who will be gushing about the news. There's flipping babies everywhere, except in my house, & even stupid adverts on MN are setting me off! I think I'm going to distance myself from MN for now but I'll come back to you all eventually.

Aww Agnu I'm really sorry I know there is absolutely nothing I can say to make it better! I am sure the break (small or big) from MN will help. Come back soon and good luck with the entertaining!

So, I'm still running around like a headless chicken. However, I've now written my packing list and I've got a photo ready for bpears cake so I'm pretty much on top of things! Tomorrow I'm having my eyelashes tinted because I now despise wearing mascara since becoming a mum! So much easier not to I have a few more bits to buy and then I can start packing tomorrow night! My aim is to be packed tomorrow so that I can fully enjoy bpears party! I had another bridesmaid dress fitting. It was pretty pointless since I have to go again in June when I've grown some more. However, bride is happy so that's what counts. Late night again tonight...will hit me hard tomorrow Hope everyone has a lovely weekend doing whatever you have planned!

Bring how's your MIL holding up since the news?

It's not normal that DH hasn't asked me how my midwife appt is, is it? He's been at home all afternoon. Wth is wrong with him?

Oh my goodness this group chat has hit a very low point.

Agnu I completely understand your decision. Support even. Please take the time you need and know that we're here for you. I'm so sorry that your husband is playing hot/cold with you about having another baby. It's not fair that you're having to experience this rollarcoaster of emotions and that that you have to go about your day as if everything is absolutely normal. Your guy is supposed to be there for you to talk about all this and it's heartbreaking that you are having to deal with these feelings on your own right now. Seeing friends and family having something that you so desperately want is hard. No doubt about that.

Pear My grandmother came to live with us when my grandpa died and it is SO MUCH WORK. I completely understand where you're at too. It's now completely and totally enveloped your entire existence when it comes to your husband's family and his life and it sounds extremely taxing on you as a pregnant mama to have to keep everyone up and running. I'm glad that you had a nice time on your trip though! It always is just nice escaping from real life once and awhile. The wedding is coming up though so hopefully the distraction outside of the house will be welcoming for you. Men tend to be a bit "meh" about midwifery appointments since once you've been to one, they all tend to seem the same, plus with all that's going on it's no excuse for him to completely be indifferent to what's going on. I do hope that the dark cloud starts to lift a bit. Baby steps. It does get better. You all start to figure out how to keep living life after losing someone and it's a new kind of dynamic and there are periods of extreme sadness and grief even years down the road and the best thing to do is to just let it happen. I promise it will get better. Your MIL will eventually get to the part where she's ready to start moving back on her own two feet and she'll start figuring out how she wants to live her life now as an independent person again. (it just really stinks that you're having to keep her up and that so much has suddenly been burdened onto you since she's right there in your home!). Sympathy for you, my friend. Here's a cyber hug and just know that you're in my thoughts.

Well, I'm back already! Even more than a few days ago! I mostly held it together over the weekend, having people around kept my brain occupied. This morning DH found me sitting on the bedroom floor sobbing because I'd got some maternity tops out to lend to my friend & DH had seen "my clothes" & put them back in my drawer. Once I'd pulled myself together enough I ignored the DC asking why I'd been crying that alone nearly made me start again & took them to aforementioned friend's 4yo's party. I pretty much ignored everything, unless spoken to directly & this was noticed by several people. I lied & told them I was fine because I was not going to be the crazy lady blubbering at a small child's party!

I spent most of the rest of the day in a bit of a grumpy daze until I got a text from DH requesting that we got the DC in bed early so we could talk about some "good news". I assumed it would be something to do with inheritance from his grandmother. Turns out, he's suddenly decided that he doesn't think it's fair to deprive me of something I so desperately want because he has some reservations. The trouble is, I don't think it's fair for me to make him have a baby he doesn't really want just because I'm thinking I should get a mastectomy/hysterectomy because they're useless body parts if I can't have any more DC a bit upset.

I really don't know what to do, other than possibly see a counsellor! If he wasn't such a genuinely nice, people pleasing person, I'd think this was some sick, abusive power-play! My head is so messed up now!

Hello from me too!

Ahhh bring I couldn't have put it in better words. What you've written is exactly how it is for me right now. Thank you so much for understanding! Baby steps indeed

Agnu, fantastic news that your DH has seen the light!! Personally I think you should take this sudden change of heart as a positive step and not see it as a clear cut green light to go ahead. Be happy that he has seen your emotions through your sobbing bedroom outburst (sounds so typically like my DH!) and show him that you appreciate his change of heart. However, you yourself don't need to make any rush decision. What's important is that your DH is showing signs of thinking about it and it's not a blunt no way answer from him! Yay Maybe give it a couple more months to sit on it before properly trying? Or you could start trying for fun with no pressure at this time? Who knows how long it will take this time. I know you've fallen pregnant really quickly with no1&2 but it could take longer...

So, I'm officially on holiday Without the vino obviously but OMG I want it so much Anyway, DH keeps joking that my mil is back at home nosing around our bedroom...I am seriously trying to put this to the back of my mind TBH I am relieved to hear him make a joke! It is clear that this week away is exactly what we need and I shall be making the best use of it. Unfortunately we're in a room right on the busy road but they've agreed to move us today so I'm looking forward to finally unpacking at some point. Thanks ladies for your support. It's been tough and I think having the fill in midwife tell me "make sure you look after your DH so he doesn't crumble after the birth" finished me off last week! I just have to ignore that comment and think positive thoughts

Oh and I forgot to mention that we very nearly missed our plane because DH has gone a bit la la and got confused about the timings. We were casually eating breakfast when DH came out of the toilets to say that they had announced that the gate was closing. We had to run to the gate and they were not impressed when we arrived! I didn't make eye contact with anyone sitting and waiting on the plane and just said to DH "I'm just going to say...this is exactly what I've been saying, I think you've temporarily lost your marbles but hopefully the holiday will sort you out". Had I not been pregnant and struggling on little sleep I would have double checked his timings but the thing is I've only had energy to look after myself and bpear...I will now try and be more of the leader in the family for a few weeks Equally the bus shuttle from the airport took 2hrs to get to the hotel like I thought (and told DH). DH had his tail between his legs and said "I'm really sorry, when I booked it this week I really didn't believe it would take longer then 1.5hrs and I'll arrange a taxi when we leave". I was not angry because by some miracle bpear was unusually entertained by the view and only squeaked for the last 15 minutes and as I wasn't sitting next to him I was able to have a kip I enjoyed DH's apology though

Ahhh, I don't even really know how to respond to your DH's sudden change of heart Agnu. Obvs I don't know him so I can't really make judgement on this but that does sound a little fishy. And something that I would just be weary of because of what he may be like down the line when you've got morning sickness and can't get off the couch due to tiredness and he'll be frustrated that he's got the boys and then will bring up the "see I told you we shouldn't have had more kids... you can't take care of the ones you have right now.... I'm having to take care of them...." you get the idea. At least with experience when my DH is having a selfish moment and wants to blame someone for his own discomfort that's the kind of attitude I have to put up with. I really hope this isn't the case and once the little sprout arrives he'd be really sheepish about how selfish he was being and be over-joyed about the new little life in your home. I guess that's the kind of talk to have with him is that he's really messing with you and once you get pregnant- that's it. He can't go back on this and he also can't blame you for anything because he's made that decision. A counsellor may be a good idea actually. Someone neutral who can help the pair of you work through the differences that you have and help with a constructive conversation when things get emotional or tense. It's just getting him there in the first place, right? Ahh lady. I'm so sorry you're going through this. Is a weekend away with some girlfriends a feasible choice for you? Again, just getting away from life for a little bit? I'm about ready to fly over there and round you and Pear up and just go on our own life-holiday because lordy, I'm needing one major over here too.

Ha Pear! Your MIL in your knickers drawer image just had me laughing. Glad you've made the flight! Jeesh! Talk about stress! Enjoy your holiday, dear. You so deserve it!

Can I just have a whinge? A moan? A out-pouring of my soul because things feel really hard and in total limbo and this place right now is feeling SO FLIPPING HARD. DH is putting in his CV at this new place in S Wales as of tomorrow. We've been working with a friend of his who works in HR so knows CVs like nobody's business and what they want to see so we've been sharpening that up to tip-top shape. I've been having to really push DH to get it done because I think there is a fear there of actually going through with this and finding out a result that could potentially change our entire lives if we move. We've both reached this place where we both are afraid to admit to each other that we actually do really want this job to work out, we do actually want to move to be closer to his family, we are going to be okay with renting out our home here and going through the GIGANTIC process of figuring out visas and a place to live there and selling or storing our current belongings, making sure we can take our cats over, registering the kids in the new schools. The list looks terrifying. But... yesterday MIL checked herself into hospital due to severe dehydration and bowel incontinence. When we spoke with SIL she said it's because of the pain medication that she's on that's making her confused and unable to keep food/drink down and causing stomach upset. So we will be finding out the results of the scan on Thursday to determine where the cancer has spread to. This is so scary. I feel at the brink of tears at any time. DH is thinking about going across on his own to be able to visit her soon which is going to take a huge chunk out of the funds that we've saved so far to try to go last minute this summer. Selfishly I want to go too. I don't fucking want to be stuck here on my own with the kids. But, I know it's his mum and he's gotta to be able to do that if he needs to. Ideal situation would be if someone here could take the kids for a week so we could go together but we just don't have a resource like that. My family is shit for that sort of thing (which let's face it, makes a move so much more appealing since DHs family would always take the kids for us if we asked them to). My brain just constantly feels full of thoughts. I feel powerless and like I'm in a giant blender right now with current life going on, trying to keep things as normal, making short-term plans for things like kid's activities and plans to visit my dad's cabin, etc. all the while we are looking at houses 4,000 miles away online and my husband is applying for a new job. It's confusing! I just don't have the drive or motivation to do anything anymore. I don't feel like going to the gym anymore. Work just seems irrelevant especially since I lost a job and am now going through a major pay-cut because of it (never mind that my confidence in what I do has gone in the dirt). I shared all of what's going on with my dad including the potential move and all he could say was "but you're planning on moving back after your MIL dies, right?" Fuck. Maybe not? What a thing to say! I asked him if he would come and visit me and he just said that he didn't think he'd like the 8 hr flight. So supportive.

Bring awww that all sounds really hard to deal with right now. You're doing an amazing job keeping it together for your kids. I'm glad you have us to just let it out! I'm sure since your last post things have probably changed again?! Well done for getting DH's CV over. I guess you're now waiting limbo!

So, we've heard from MIL. Apparently a random Vicar doing the rounds in our area knocked on our door and she invited him in for tea for a long chat. She really is very random like that. I think she's very lonely. I did think that she would be when we left as our home can feel very lonely at times as it is so quiet. It will be much nicer for her when she's moved into the planned flat with lots of people about. The move is now happening in July as the current tenant has told us she wants to leave early so that's one worry off the list. MIL will be well settled before my baby arrives so that is good for everyone. We've found out now that the funeral will take place the day before the wedding weekend. So we will have 1 funeral and 2 weddings in the space of 4 days. MIL has said we can postpone the funeral for another week but I've reluctantly advised DH just to go ahead. Somehow we will get through the stress of it all. From experience I know that it's a relief after saying goodbye to your dad...it's hard to advice DH when there is no perfect solution. It's been 3 weeks already, I'm sure there are lots of people who're keen to say goodbye. It's not just about us

Health-wise I am well, thank the heavens! I'm not eating great though but today I will try and have a healthy day! I've been gorging on the buffet big time When I get back I've got my 28week apt, whooping cough injection, another consultation about preventing tearing and I need to book my GT test. Lots going on!

Lor how are you doing with E? Getting about OK?

Agnu any change in DH behaviour? Still positive in baby making thoughts?

Oh wow pear yeah that does sound like a very emotional and exhausting span of events to go through! Funerals are super hard. You've had this time span to say goodbye and start to get through it and then it just drudges everything back up and random people coming and talking to you. Ugh. So so hard. Good news on your MIL and her new flat though! Is it far from you? Will she have a lot of support around?

So glad the pregnancy is going swimmingly and smoothly for you! Is the bump starting to slow down in its growth spurt you mentioned a few weeks ago?

How are things going for you Agnu?

Frus and Lor and kitty hope all is well with you!

Not a whole lot to update really. DH put in his CV on Weds morning. It was received by the Directors of the department he's looking at and they've passed it onto their HR team. They don't have any vacancies posted on their website and have said that they are "looking" for a place for him within the company. DH is really down and pessimistic about this fact so he's trying to not get his hopes up too high. We had a really rough day on Weds and his mood was in the toilet all day after the CV went in. Yesterday was slightly better and we both started talking about why we thought about this in the first place and it really boiled down to family. We looked online and saw some gorgeous properties for rent in the area we're hoping to go and so feeling a bit better about it all. Seems surreal and I have apprehensive feelings about moving and missing what we have here come and go... but I've lived there and we visit often so the grass is always greener on the other side when you're an expat. Once you've lived in a different country than the one you were raised in, there are things you love and absolutely hate in both places that make going back hard and unsure whether you feel completely settled in either place. MIL sent out an email today that just said her treatment is starting next week. She'll be receiving treatments daily for 3 weeks and then they will reevaluate where to go next. Hard stuff being this far away!!!

bring I took a photo of bump to show you tonight and I was planning to pm you the photo but I can't see how to send pm on my phone. Maybe you can't It is nice to finally look pregnant. I carry very neat which is surprising to me when I have a pear shape figure. Somebody asked me when I was due the other day and she didn't believe it when I said I'm 6 months. Weirdly there are so many pregnant women here. We could start a hotel NCT group Might possibly have a language barrier as I don't think any of them speak English! Anyway, in terms of growth spurt it is looking like I am just 4 weeks in front of the growth pattern I was with bpear... I didn't properly start showing and fitting maternity clothes until 7 months. Makes sense as this is my second Dc. I forgot that I noticed I have swollen ankles today. They don't look very attractive and feel a bit numb but otherwise OK. I am guessing that would be the heat causing that and will return back to normal next week.

The flat my mil is moving into is a 45 min drive from us. It's central in a small town. No she won't know anyone nearby but as its central she has lots around her. DH is going to find her a smaller car to get around in. There is actually a play centre nearby that I've visited with bpears friends a couple of times and it will be an ideal location to go with her once the baby has arrived so that's nice. There is also a lovely lake nearby with a child friendly path for scooters and prams etc so it's going to be an easy place for family visits which all helps!

Great news on the rental search! I really hope you get some good news coming your way soon whatever it might be. I know what you mean when you say there are good and bad things about where you live. I think that mentality is very helpful in the grand scheme of things and you sound mentally prepared for a change. I guess it helps now that your job situation has been shaken up! May is turning out to be the month of new things good and bad!

Right, better sign off. DH has been working on work emails at night so I'm always tempted to wonder online...not really very relaxing but at least I can share what's on my mind

Awwh! I do love bumps :) How about one when you get back?

That's nice that she'll still be relatively close and in an area that she can get around in easily. And somewhere that'll be nice for you to go visit her in and still be able to take the littles out and be together.

So DH came home for lunch and my how the pendulum swings! Now he's super excited to see how this pans out. We've decided we are definitely moving if this job is one that will allow us to live a relatively similar life-style to what we have here. He's thinking about how we will make the house rental work, how we'll deal with storage of our things and started talking about the stuff we would find there, the places he wants to go and visit when (if) we live there. It gives me butterflies just thinking about this. We are having very British weather over here right now and I can't even begin to explain how much I'd rather deal with this for the winter (obvs a bit colder of course!) instead of snow! I can't stand the super hot and humid summers either so that would definitely eliminate that problem. Eeek! This is crazy!

Which part of Wales are you looking at bring?

I'm exhausted today. Yesterday we went across to my parents for a lunch "party" for 3 small people & I had to make a huge cake while I was there so I didn't have to buy/borrow a big tin. Stupid cake took 5 hours to cook & we got held up on the way so couldn't start it until after lunch. We finally left their house just after 9 & it took us an hour to drive home. Runt fell asleep in the car & barely flinched when I took him in & changed him. Calf was wide awake & hungry when we got back but thankfully settled once in bed. I slept through my alarm this morning & still don't feel entirely with it now!

DH still talking about #3 as if it's a thing that's actually going to happen! I'm counting down the days currently O minus 20 days until we can start TTC. Once I'm upduffed he can't change his mind!

Woot woot agnu! Are you excited? Nervous that it could actually happen for reals?

I so hear you on the tiredness, sister. OH MY LIFE. If it's not one kid, it's the other at the moment. M is waking up randomly at like 3 wanting a drink of water and needing help to the toilet. DS1 has asthma and out of nowhere now he's waking up with the attacks, which is terrifying (and expensive as this will be the second time in 3 months I'll have to take him back into the doc for another treatment plan). DH and I are total zombies right now! It's been happening all week and then both of them woke up last night within an hour of each other. It's supposed to be a bank holiday over here too and we are both practically falling asleep on the couch.

We are looking around the M4, (Cardiff County and Vale of Glamorgan) areas. Basically a 30 minute drive radius around the work area for DH. I so wish I could tell you absolutely every detail because his job is so cool and this move would be such a fun opportunity for him since he loves his job so much. It'd just be a major reveal as I'm not sure if his family are on here. And I've shared a LOT of things on here I'd rather not share with his sis!

We watched Michael Moore's "Where to Invade Next" and it just made us ready to get the heck outta this country even more. We both are so hoping this job works out!

I'm terrified! What if it's a difficult pregnancy? What if the child has more challenging needs than Calf? What if it's another boy? What if we don't cope as a family? What if DH loses his job? What if...? I had this with both previous pregnancies - I'd get my BFP & my first thought was "what have I done?!"

Sounds exciting bring! I grew up just a little north/west of where you're looking at. We'd drive past you to go see my parents!

It's just way easier getting upduffed by accident, right? No major life-changing decision to actually go through with it and then ask yourself WTF have I done? I felt it with the planned two younger ones, that's for sure! Nothing like some good-old fashioned anxiety to add to the mix of it all! Aww lady. You pop kids out like it's no big deal. You are healthy and young. You've done this before. If it's a boy, you won't have to buy any more clothes in the shades of red, brown, green, blue, or black, right? Everything would be there for you ready to go and you would be an absolute pro at all things little-boy. I'm trying to lighten the mood. Fingers crossed for you!

Ooh! Sweet! Maybe you'll have to pop in for a future hypothetical visit?