The 11th Gemini bus - Trudging through the terrible twos

[AGnu]

Fx for a long LP this month pear!

for you Frus! It's totally understandable that you'd want to be chatting to people with more understand of what you're going through but do pop in occasionally to update us if you can - we may not completely understand it all but we do care about you! What will the implant do? Restore full hearing? Partial? Or is there no real way of knowing until it's in?

Thanks for the explanation Frus! Will it last a lifetime or will it need replacing at some point?

I was just about to kick my DC out in the hope they'd be "upgraded"! I could do with an obedience-without-asking-why upgrade for Calf right now!
"Calf, please don't leave your cup on the floor."
"Why?"
"Because it might get knocked over."
"It's ok, you can walk around it."
"Or you could pick it up so no-one has to try & walk around it..."
"Why?"

Oh Ava. That's funny ????

Bpear is still not talking. I look forward to having a conversation but also not because I have a feeling it will be none stop questions ????

Sorry I meant Agnu

Last leg dangling session of the month. Officially dpo1 tomorrow. Finally a break from over thinking everything

Wow frus so much to deal with for you. That's crazy about the smoke alarm and not being able to hear it. Do you think it's certain frequencies that she's having a harder time hearing rather than it completely going? I hope all the testing works out soon and there are some answers so the wheels can get into motion on making this easier for you and your family. No judgement at all with finding comfort in those who can relate! We still

S'ok pear, you can call me Ava if you want...

Calf's pre-bedtime non-compliance went something like this:
"Calf, can you come upstairs please?"
"Why?"
"Because it's bedtime & you need to do a wee."
"But, no, I don't need a wee."
"I think you probably do, come & try please."
"But I'm just sorting things out down here."
"There's nothing to sort. Come upstairs now."
"But why?"
"Because I said so."
"But whyyyyyyyyyyyy?"
""

Practically every sentence out of his mouth starts with "but..." He's so blooming contrary! It's great that he's inquisitive & wants to understand rather than blindly obey but it's just so draining! Just once I'd like him to do what he's told without questioning the meaning of life. I ask Runt to go somewhere, pick something up, give me a kiss, I get "ok, Mammy" & he immediately does what I've asked most of the time. He's started with the "why?" too but completely out of context - "Good morning, Runt." "Ey-oh, Mammy.... why?"

bring I hate that time before holidays when it's not quite time to pack but you know it's coming up. I had that a couple of weeks ago - I somehow forgot a whole week in thinking about our weekend trip with friends & thought we were going sooner than we were. That week was really depressing. I'm in limbo again for a couple of days - back from one camping trip, 2 days of DH being back at work before he's off for 2 weeks, one week of which will be spent camping again. Today & tomorrow are limbo days & I can't wait for DH to get home from work tomorrow evening probably around midnight, knowing his pre-holiday work obsession & we can properly get into holiday mode!

When do you go away? DH went to Iceland as a teenager & said it was fab. I'm sure you'll have a blast!

Frus would it work to praise her a lot for watching you sign to her instead? Or turn lip-reading into a game & praise her for carefully looking at you when you're talking? Perhaps focussing on other forms of communication will help her relax & admit that she can't hear.

Yes, I've considered demand avoidance, mostly because I suspect I have it to some degree - often if someone, especially if they are in a position of authority or I'm not in the best mood, asks me to do something my gut instinct is to find absolutely any excuse not to do it & it's like wading through mud trying to force myself to do it. Used to drive my parents mad that I'd spontaneously need the toilet after every meal but only when washing up was mentioned! I try really hard to fight it but DH has learnt that if he mentions something needs to get done then I'm more likely to do it if he doesn't specifically ask me to do it! I am hoping it's just the why-phase - it's easier to deal with right now if I can convince myself he'll grow out of it!

Calf isn't really ready for holidays either. We only camped for one night at the weekend & he went hyper & started hitting DH so I ended up with him sitting on my lap until I was ready to go to bed. We had to constantly watch him at the beach because he just kept wandering off & chatting to complete strangers. Thankfully none of them seemed to mind & we did go over to check but it's a constant source of worry that he could either bother someone who wants to be left alone or go with someone who offered him an ice cream. He has no sense of boundaries when it comes to strangers! We'll be walking down the street & pass someone & he'll just start bellowing at them about where we're going...

Often he's really difficult when we get back from holidays too but he's been ok this time, or at least I think he has - I spend all day Sunday in bed after having 3 exhausting days in a row, barely sleeping while camping because I was so worried about Calf waking up & sneaking out of the tent & then sitting in the sun at the beach for too long with not enough water. I'll ask DH what Calf was like! He'll be difficult when we come back from our week-long camping. I've insisted this time that DH take off a few days before we go to help get ready & a few days after we get back so I'm not dealing with Calf's freak outs on top of my own struggle to adjust back to reality. I'll probably spend a couple of days in bed with a migraine. Every year I say we're not having a holiday the following year because it's so hard for me when we get back... then I forget that bit & book another holiday...

Frus Good to hear from you. Sorry that you're having a tough time of things though. Fingers crossed you'll get the support you need, whatever that might be.

Agnu an obedience upgrade sounds hilarious. More seriously I've never heard of demand avoidance. I can't imagine what it's like to feel that. I was always so shy and afraid of getting in trouble when I was younger that I just did everything I was told - at least until I got to my teens and then needed a justification for it. Hopefully this is just a 'why' phase.

We're in more of a 'what's that?' or 'who's that?' phase. Walking down the street -
C: who's that?
Me: just a man
C: who's that?
Me: another man.

On the bus:
C: who's that?
Me: just a lady on the bus
C: who's that?
Me: a man on the bus...

I do not know ALL the people in London!!

Bring waiting for holiday is always a bit weird. That reminds me, we must actually BOOK something for ours! We're staying in the UK but have nothing at all booked yet.

Pear fx (or should that be legs crossed) for you this month. I'm just at the start of my potentially fertile period so all systems are about to be GO!

Oh yes, I get a lot of "what's that?" from Runt. I can tell him what the same thing is about a dozen times before he'll eventually agree & ask about something else. Calf's very interested in who everyone is. He'll often tell me he saw someone he couldn't possibly have seen & when I point out that they live over 100 miles away so wouldn't be wandering past our house he'll demand "Well who is it then?!" like I should know every person on the planet! He'll ask me about pictures on billboards too! What wouldn't I give to have a whole day guaranteed question-free...?!

Ha, Lor that's exactly what M does too. Questions about everyone. She usually shouts really loud "that a MAN!" or "that's a LADY!". Always so not embarrassing at all when she points right at the person. We are also going through this highly patience-testing phase where she will say something and continue saying it right in your face over and over and over again until you correctly repeat exactly what she said. None of that "ummhmm" or "that's right, M" junk. She will make sure you are LISTENING to her full-stop. Which makes for getting tasks done very difficult sometimes to say the least.... (for example, just while trying to type out this response, I've been forced to repeat "PRINCESS!" "ELSA!" "Baby crying" "He's dancing" )

Thanks for the explanation Frus. I will be the first to admit that I know very little about hearing and hearing loss beyond the basics. Ahh poor lass, must be very confusing to be in a world where little ones are praised for being able to hear and having that constantly being pointed out that you are one that can't and somehow that equates to not being as well-behaved as you should be.

agnu That just sounds SO much like my first and unfortunately it still hasn't gone away. "why must I?" with everything that we tell him. He's nearly 7. I've never heard of demand avoidance, sounds very interesting. Must go read-up on this!

I am also the same way when returning from a holiday. So much work to just put everything back together once you return home. Jet-lag if long-travel. Laundry. Getting the kids back into their usual routines. Put said laundry away. Put suitcases away. Go pick up all the mail that's been put on hold. Go grocery shopping again. In our case we start school 2 days after we return, so there's that too. Can you tell I'm already excited to come back DH is stressed about coming back to work and trying to get back into his routine. I'll have a ton of work to catch up on. So yay! Very much looking forward to Iceland. I've only heard amazing things about being there. So excited about that part. The week of being stuck with DH's mum's family, not so much.

Oh I absolutely MUST listen properly too. He'll repeat and repeat and if im in reach will pull my face to face him. If b I repeat it wrong he just gives me this withering look and says 'no' and then repeats again until I get it right. If I'm really not paying attention I also get 'mummy LISTEN' complete with C pointing to his ear. So funny.

I don't get withering looks, more a patronising "don't be daft" smirk!

AF is 2 days late but there's no chance of me being pregnant... kinda freaking me out given that my cycle is usually 26-28 days but today is CD30 & I'm not feeling particularly bloated or crampy... What's the betting that now that I've mentioned my concerns it'll appear within minutes...

Oooh, have we been playing without our raincoat this month, agnu?

Ha ha bring. Do update us Agnu

Just saw a fb announcement that one of my NCT group is pregnant with number 2. One just had her 2nd and that makes two that are pregnant now too. I'm obviously ttc and I know another had a miscarriage earlier this year. Babies and ttc-ers everywhere!

Except me. I've gone completely off the idea, tbh. M is so much work right now. The appeal of getting through this and then never having to do it again is sounding pretty damn nice.

Sadly not, bring! Definitely no chance of a BFP for me right now!

Aww I love hearing how your little ones chat! I still can't even imagine having a conversation with bpear. It feels so far away! We had our first word yesterday which was uber exciting!! Drumroll.....it was 'key'! He is obsessed and always has been obsessed with keys and cars lol He would happily sit in DH's car pretending to drive for hours if we would let him! Whenever we do on the off chance it's an absolute nightmare to get him out. Anyway, it's lovely for me but in Rl probably not so lovely for you all with the embarrassing pointing and loud questions in public

Bring - I'm excited about Iceland for you!! There was a recent 3 part documentary on channel 4 TV about RL people in London being matched together as 3 separate couples to be put together for an arranged marriage and one of the couples got to see the northern lights. Looked stunning!! It will be maniacal for the kids top Christmas come early!!

Did anyone else watch that programme by the way?

Frus - I so get what you mean about holiday envy I have it too! Literally everyone who sees me asks whether we're going away and I'm feeling so crap that I can't just be honest and say that we can't afford it this year It feels like everyone is rubbing their holidays in my face too (but I know they don't mean to). It is always the talk of the summer! It should be pretty obvious to everyone around me that holidays are not on the agenda right now because I've chosen to be a SAHM and support DH build up his business. Apparently not though!! I have asked DH whether he would consider saving up for a 4 day break in December and he has said that he would consider it so that will be nice for us if we can stretch to it. Obviously I prefer going away in the summer but I do like our crisp blue sky weather in December too It's probably going to rain all December now! Hah! Anyway, Frus...I am focusing on the fact that holidays come and go so quickly and at least we don't have that extra expense of buying all those little bits, packing, the planning and then the return to deal with I have started a scrapbook of bpear to record all our summer outings at home this year! He really wouldn't know if we were away or not and he's a bit of a home buddy so when in the past we have been away indoor entertainment in the accommodation has been interesting to say the least! I will not miss that part!

Lor...it sucks doesn't it 7 out of my 10 NCT group now have 2nd babies and another 1 due in August. It sucks I'm expecting the last one to announce pregnancy any moment because I know secretly from my detective work that she's TTC! Nearly all my other friends now have their 2nd babies with a few I suspect working on TTC 3! Unfortunately for us the trend is to have very small gaps (thank you very much celebs and the Duchess of Cambridge) so if you're having difficulties to conceive like myself it is very very emotionally hard out there right now The worst part of it all is EVERY mum is occupied in my life right now and nobody is free to do fun outings and come for tea. I've sent out 3 invites in the last 48hrs and none of them have replied because I suspect they're too busy juggling their new lives to get back to me I'm so desperately trying to make new friends but people I meet in classes all seem to have older children so they're not interested in pursuing a friendship with me even though they have a child similar age to bpear. Their headspace appears to be with their oldest! Good luck this month...fx it's your turn.

I'm a bit worried about all the OV pains and progesterone symptoms I'm getting this month. Perhaps Agnus Cactus has woken my body up?!! I have my blood test booked for Monday and I'll be testing with a hpt next weekend. I'm just praying this is it!

Oh and bring, I loved your raincoat analogy

Argh I've been such a dumb dumb. I let bpear watch 3 episodes of Teletubbies before putting him down for a nap so he's soooo crazy hyper and won't go down for a nap. He's now screaming in his cot. What was I thinking I can see you ladies with 1plus children thinking tut tut been there, got the t-shirt. Am I right?!