April 2015 thread 2 - ruling our lives and stealing our sleep, our babies are growing up already!

[PenguinPoser]

New thread for those of us left here

I hope you have a lovely holiday and it can be a fresh start for you.

We would love to have you back but I understand sometimes it takes over your life but we are always there for you X

I can't feel my feet we have just been to a car boot sale now having a hot chocolate to warm up whilst dd has a nap then we are going to a soft play sensory room this afternoon oh and DH is in the doghouse he bought me underwear for Valentine's Day and bought me size Large knickers 😂

It's been lovely so far, very cold but bright and we've been out and about as well as lounging around some too.

Oh dear, no good on undies! I got a lovely card saying no matter what storms we meet we will sail through as long as we're together, so perhaps things are going to be ok.

The weather is the same here very cold but the sun is shining which is am imorovement on the wet & wind we have had for weeks.

Your valentines card sounds like a step in the right direction I hope it carries on.

We have been to a baby group today and made nursery rhyme props which dd thought were great fun to eat she is still not 100% but I can see a white bump at the top so a tooth is on its way.

I have bought some toys in Sainsburys for her birthday today in the sale and a giant Dalmatian that was reduced in the Valentine section I sat it on the pram and made dog noises all the way home which she thought was funny!

Hi ladies - I'm a bit behind with this thread as I haven't been on for a while, sorry! Have also stepped back from the other group for a break, similar reasons to you cinnamon. And I missed you!

Things are ok here, DD has got her first tooth coming (at last!) and had a temperature for 3 days and her sleep has gone a bit to pot so we are trying to muddle through with that.

I'll try and catch up more later

I wanted to jump on and say I hope you all are ok and we are missing you's on the other group but understand every needs a break sometimes, just know you can all come back at anytime.

Penguin hope dd is better now that tooth is threw.

Cinnamon I hope that your ok and it sounds like Valentine's Day was a good step in the right direction.

Wine that sounds like a good present I hope dd keeps improving and is 100 percent soon.

I hope you are ok penguin sometimes it's hard to concentrate on your real life when you feel like you are helping everybody else with their problems.

Dd seems a lot better this morning but woke very early so it's going to be a long day. We are going to the library for bounce & rhyme this afternoon and it's a nice walk to the library so hopefully some fresh air will help her nap because naps have been difficult the past few days.

thomassodorislandwhat was your old mn nickname, I am trying to guess who you are?

I think I know who thomassodorisland is but not sure!

Pleased your DD is better wineandchoccy. Mine seems to be recovering from her first bout of teething now. It was horrendous! Shw has also been waking quite early.

I've just been at work today, have a long busy day there tomorrow as well. Love coming home to DD's smiley face though and she just climbs all over me until bedtime. I'm pleased because when she was sore with her tooth she went off the boob and she's back on now so I'm still managing to feed her twice a day.

Hope everyone else has had a good day.

Meant to say too cinnamon I've been thinking about you and hope things are going ok with all you've had going ok

Babiecakes forgot I'd changed again sorry.

Hope you both wine and penguin are able to get some sleep tonight and the baby's keep recovering.

thomassodorisland I thought it was you with somebody's Thomas obsession I hope you are ok?

penguin as much as I don't want to go back to work I am looking forward to seeing her smile greeting me at the end of the day.

We went to the library and dd slept through rhyme time but it was ok because my friend came with her twin boys so I borrowed 1 of them so I didn't look silly singing on my own although I don't think he looked to impressed with my singing!

I hope the holiday is going ok cinnamon

I don't know how much I've posted so excuse me if I repeat myself!

We had many discussions and I felt OK then lost the plot again. He was odd with his phone and then when I looked at it all messages to her were deleted. So I found some software to restore deleted messages and he found me with his phone. We talked and it seemed better, Tuesday he messaged me from his first aid course and all was ok. I then discovered he'd sent her the same photo he'd sent me and been messaging her too. I was upset by that and didn't do a great job of hiding it. He has changed the pin on his phone and is deleting all messages from her as soon as he's sent/received them. He was so angry at me and then Friday it all came to a head when I found he'd emailed her as soon as I went out to walk the dogs 9pm Thursday. I used his phone (he passed it to me) to put a postcode into the maps app and found he's removed both photos of me from his home and lock screen. It turns out he's really very angry with me over things that have happened over the last year or so and really doesn't like me much as a person. I asked why he hadn't told me and he said he was afraid if he said something I'd walk out. I don't know who this person is he talks about, it doesn't sound like me. I don't know how he can dislike me so much and not have said anything. It makes more sense of why he's been flirting with this woman but I'm so hurt. I want to be the wife he wants and I don't want to be a bad person but I've gone from being so cross with him and hurt by his behaviour to being the bad guy and needing to be a better wife. I have tried really hard and so has he, we've talked lots but I can't get over the fact that I seem to have lost my right to be hurt and angry. He says he doesn't think we can get over this and I'll keep hitting him round the head with it forever more but I don't feel I can resolve it as his answer is 'I'm still here aren't i'. Which doesn't really tell me what she is to him and he is so unhappy with me but is still here so how long is that going to last. It also explains why I haven't been able to say anything to him without him snapping at me. He says I'm always miserable, I shout and lose my temper which I do and I'm just never satisfied/happy with anything. I feel I'm walking on egg shells and I'm trying to tell him when I'm happy so he knows I'm not always unhappy. We've had a lovely few days and while I'm happy to work on us as a couple I feel that his messaging of this woman has been brushed under the carpet and I don't feel I can bring it up at the moment. I'm still really hurt and really unsure of him and don't know how I'll cope with him being at work with her next week. I feel like I've got nowhere to go and I can't talk about my feelings without beating him around the head with it, but I can't rationalise my feelings about it all. Part of me says if we work on our relationship then it becomes irrelevant but then there's another part that doesn't want to have to fight this woman for my husband which is how it feels of I'm trying to be Mrs perfect at home all the time. I don't know what to do, if I carry on trying to be the best me all the time and make him like me as he used I may go totally mad thinking about what's going on at work. I still can't get my head around why he can't stop messaging her, out of respect for me and why he's can't see that hiding everything makes him look super guilty despite how much I want to believe him. Wow that was long sorry!

In other news ds3 has been poorly and is now living off half a bowl of porridge in the morning and milk today he ate 1/4 of a slice of bread with some Philadelphia and 3 spoons of pasta bake for dinner. He's still only having 3 milk feeds but isn't unhappy and doesn't seem hungry. Hoping now the bug seems to have gone he'll start eating again but his nappies are still not normal. We've had some lovely time together, it's gorgeous here and today is the first day I've felt sad, don't really know what's different today.

I'm ok dd is a bit poorly with a cold so clingy and ds is jealous so hoping she's better by Friday.

Glad you enjoyed singing even with another baby, I'm sure he enjoyed it to.

Cinnamon I'm so so sorry your feeling the way you do, I've picked up a few things where you say you need to be a better wife so he will like you.
I'm sorry but to me you are a good wife, mum, friend, you do so much for everyone else and it's ok to lose your temper some times I think we all do especially when we have babies, tiredness and then you've had the stress of not knowing how severe ds3's kidneys would be affected.
You are amazing in my eyes and deserve to be treated that way.
It's not fair that your not allowed to express how you feel, I wish I had some constructive advice I really do as you to kind to feel that way and the texting shouldn't be sweep away.

I may have mentioned your kind a lot as you really are

I also hope ds3 feels better soon.

Cinnamon so sorry hear this is still all going on. I think it's awful how he seems to be turning this around onto you and making you into the bad guy. I think it's great that you're working at the relationship but I can't help feel that he is making it too difficult for you. You can't be Mrs Perfect all the time at home, putting on an act to please him and try and keep him from speaking to other women. I think he thinks he can have his cake and eat it and it's making me that he is treating you like this

cinnamon I am sorry he sounds like he is treating you absolutely rubbish by making you out like you are the one in the wrong he is making himself seem like Mr Perfect which I know we are only hearing one side but he doesn't sound perfect to me. You sound like an amazing wife, Mum, Childminder to me and he should give you all the respect in the world not messaging another woman behind your back and if it was innocent why is he deleting messages? I'm sorry for my rant he has made me mad on your behalf.

I have hired a sling today to try for 4 weeks dd seems to live it she even had a nap in it.

cinnamon how are you doing?

We are just setting off for a walk to the library and pets at home to look at the fish so a very cheap day unless I come home with a rabbit It is DH weekend off so we are going to Blackpool tomorrow to the winter gardens indoor illuminations, illuminasia which I think dd will love.

Yeah I'm ok thanks. We've had a lovely break and it's been good time together. I keep feeling I'm not strong enough to get past this and then pull myself together. She's been messaging while we've been away but he says it's only work based. Weird that he put his phone screen down yesterday and there was a message which I could only read the beginning as can't unlock phone. Things like that make me suspicious and then I'm ok again for a bit. I have to decide for myself if I can trust him and get past this without destroying myself! Was up last night until nearly 1 wondering what was in the bloody messages. I even tried to unlock it with his thumb while sleeping but I didn't get it quite right and managed to lock it without a passcode. I'm turning into a crazy person!

Hope you have a lovely weekend away, lights are always awesome for babies. Hope it's not too cold, we've gone from 2C when we left at 10.30 to 9C where we are now.

I'm sorry I shouldn't laugh but the image of you trying to use a sleeping DH thumb to unlock his phone did make me chuckle I hope you can work things out and DH realises that he needs to stop the contact with her unless it is a work query.

We have been for a lovely walk using the sling I am Definetly buying one when the 4 week trial is up dd seems to really enjoy looking around at everything when she is in it.

I have bought a lenny lamb pleated ring sling, it's so much more comfy than my other one which in going to sell. Don't know what the difference is, if it's the pleat, the material or how worn in it they are but it's much better for us. Hopefully I'll get a reasonable amount back from what I paid.

I had no idea how much slings were it could get an expensive habit! It is a Tula I have hired it is so comfy and very quick to put on I have joined a sling selling group on Facebook to see if I can get a second hand one but they seem to hold there value.

I hope you have a good weekend X

Mine were both second hand and both £60. If you look at some sites they are £100's. Try babywearing FSOT or babywearing auctions groups on fb.

Thanks I will have a look at those groups. The cheapest I found was £98 + postage went to order it and out of stock The hire one is very soft so I think I would prefer a used one for that reason X

I hope your ok cinnamon, you deserve to be happy.

It's so hard cinnamon as you're right only you can decide if you trust him. At the moment it doesn't sound like you can or do, but if you're both on board these things can be rebuilt I think. Have you spoken to him about relationship counselling again?

Hope everyone is ok. I've been feeling ill all weekend with what I now think is tonsillitis. I'll see how I am in the morning if I'm no better I'm going to go to GP, although I'd rather manage without antibiotics if I can I've had a high temperature today which was rubbish.

DD is fine though - at the moment!