November 2014 - The one where we figure it all out... Or at least try.

[Arkkorox]

Couldn't see another thread ladies! Crap title I know but I couldn't think of anything else!

Thisis how on earth did you manage to put the nappy in the wash!

Oh Christ that is insanely hard anna. You must all be ready to collapse but yes, you especially, so let that just be said. It is hardest on you without a doubt because you are doing several different difficult workloads at once.
I'm sure your sister will come around, just have a cup of tea and some Crisis Biscuits together and see if you can both take 5.
As for your DH - hope he can resume duty now after his rant.
Not sure what the set up is but is there any family money in the pot to get a cleaner or somebody in to do some cooking for the next while? Anything to take the load off.

I hope you are planning to take a long hot holiday somewhere once this is all over (hope it's ok to say that )..It really sounds hard.

Oh Anna

As bad as it is what you said to your sister is technically not wrong! She doesn't have quite the same pressures as you do. She will get over it, it's a hugely tough time for all of you

Oh DH felt miles better after his rant! It was a whole week of biting his tongue and he had to just go "AAaaaaarrrgh!" I didn't mind as he never blames me for any of it. He thinks I'm great.

I apologised to her. Not sure what was so awful when she's happily childfree but hey ho! Its Something One Isn't Supposed To Say. So now we're all pals again.

Greenstone we do have a cleaner thank goodness. Not much but at least we don't have to do any flipping hoovering. And tonight DH went down to the chippy and got us mountains of chips for our tea!

But Dad is hard to manage. He gets confused and panics. He thinks he's going to fall out of the bed etc. We've started him on Quietapine at night so hopefully he'll sleep better tonight and give us a break. And we've an electric hospital bed coming tomorrow with an air mattress which will help a lot.

And YES! Need a holiday. Though my MIL lives at the seaside, literally the house on the beach, so I can foresee a lot of "Why would we spend all that money when Mum lives on the beach??" in the coming years. I like her, but its hardly exotic, is it?!

Oh and another bit of crapness: I got my period today! Its just as horrible as I remember, lol.

Oh no!!! Well that's the icing on the cake isn't it!

Hello all hope everyone is well had a crap couple weeks where baby wouldn't feed during day refused bf, wouldn't take a bottle ended up syringing milk into him no one had any ideas but to cut a long story short his tongue tie he had cut at 8weeks wasn't cut properly was still really tight and despite not feeding consultant who we had seen before couldn't guarantee us a clinic space on 16 March May have been April so we had it done privately on Saturday money we cannot really afford but needs must.

Baby bled lots as refused to feed but pretty much from that afternoon feeding has improved latch still needs working on but he is feeding the thought was he has such a terrible latch he wasn't getting the fattier deposits so just didn't bother.

He was feeding more at night so I was tired and stressed about him not feeding in day.

Anyway 16weeks old and hoping for continued improvements

That sounds like a step closer to where you need to be. Nice to see you back on the thread!

Yesterday was the first day we had to take DD for a ride in the car to make her sleep. 4pm and she only had 2x15 minutes, cranky and niggly baby. Had tried all my triks and nothing worked. Today much better, asleep in the pram.

I miss the newborn days of 8 hours sleep. This growth spurt/sleep regression can do one. 6 wake ups last night and a 6am start.

Why isn't there caffinated wine? They'd make a fortune.

DH has had a brainwave. He takes DS back home and takes care of him full time. He's working from home till next Thurs.

This way I get to take care of Dad and not be encumbered by baby. His logic is that if he's taking care of the baby most of the time anyway he may as well do it in a better set-up with all our stuff. Also we'd both get more sleep - we were both awoken 5 times last night between baby and Dad so if you seperate the two theoretically each of us get twice as much sleep.

Logic, logic, logic. It makes sense. It eases the pressure on me and he gets to have some privacy and freedom. And the reality is you can't take care of a baby full time and be a full time nurse. But I feel utterly sick at the thought of it.

So my sis and I are desperately trying to find night nurses to puncture the nighttime argument. Lord knows what the cost might be 7 nights a week for who knows how long.

I feel unreasonable asking them to stay in one room in their IL's house, uncomfortable as hell (there isn't even a working shower!) for hypothetically weeks on end, just because I'm a soppy mare who wants to kiss her baby all the time. Just feel so guilty. But how can you send a man who believes he's going to get well into a Hospice?? He would have a nervous breakdown - and the Hospice is so far away that it wouldn't neccessarily make our lives easier as the daily commute to visit him would be a nightmare. Its actually easier to have him here - if it weren't for the baby.....

Hi Anna sounds like an impossible dilemma and a period of time you just have to get through can dh bring baby up for a few hrs a day? A night nurse would prob cost you around £200/night for a 12hr night a hca around £100 for 12hr night lots of those home care assistant from agencies also do private work.

Lady dolly I can't remember what 8hrs sleep is we were doing every 3-4hrs with occasional 6hr but last night after initial 3.5hrs was up every 90mins

She never did 8 hours, but I always got that much overall. Early days were midnight to 10 with wake ups at 3 and 5. Then 7 til 7 with wake ups at 1 and 3 (and sometimes 5).

But now from 11 onwards it's a breast buffet. Even with a dreamfeed at 9 or 10. zzzzzzzz.

Wow hedgehog no wonder! Had my dd weighed yest, she is a wee 13lb 6oz & will be 4 months next week. Speaking of moving up into the next size - anyone else find that 3-6 month tights seem to be made for giants?!! By the time dd's legs are long enough to fit in them it'll be high summer! Guess we're going for the nora batty look in the mean time...

Anna that sounds really hard & a tough decision to make re ds & dh going home. You really mustn't feel guilty about wanting to be with ds though. Do you live far from your parents? Could you maybe stay a few days with them then a few at home & so on? Split the care with your sister that way then you arent all crammed in the house at once plus it gives you both a bit of a break from the demands of caring, plus you'd get some much needed time with ds? Hugs.xx

Our night wakes seem to be getting earlier & earlier, she's now waking midnight(ish) & 4/5ish for a feed. She often only has 3 feeds in the daytime now (she wont eat at breakfast if she ate at 5am) & this seems too few for a

DD last two days has been all over place. During the day she often refuses BF because is too interested in everything around. So I have been expressing just to feed her straight away while she turns her head all directions with the bottle in mouth.
Now that most of BM goes through the bottle I get idea how much she is downing of EBM. She has about 5oz every 1,5-2 hours. Both nights around 7pm, when I picked her up, her tummy actually made a barrel sound "klonk, klonk". You can tell she has put weight on, her face is really round now and cheeks all piglet pink. DH last night thought she had a fever so flushed her cheeks were. I hope she stops at some point or I will soon be buying 12 months old size clothes for her.

Thinking of you Anna

Sending hugs Anna x

Anna the whole situation is very hard on you, but I think there are very few women, whose husbands/partners would do what your DH did even if they would have been asked to (let's cheer to your amazing DH for one more time!). It does make sense to shed some weight of caring for others off your shoulders for the moment. No idea how far you are from your parents house, but hopefully he can bring in DS for lots of mummy cuddles and kisses regularly (weekends?). And as bad as it might sound, take advantage of Skype inbetween, arrange online catchups every night at certain time, it will give you feeling that you are present in DH and DS life.

Thanks all, DH has abandoned the idea because apparently my little face was so despondent that he couldn't bear it.

We are really struggling, DS is teething badly so increased night wakings. He was awake from 4-6 and then up at 7. And Dad got us up three times last night for toileting and each time was very agitated and I had to lift him bodily onto the commode so my back isn't great today. My sis and I have decided that either we get a shitload of care assistants in pronto or its a nursing home.

So the plan is: night support starting tomorrow and I don't do him at night after that. Two people coming in each morning at 9am to wash and breakfast him. And shitloads of Quiteapine at night to calm him and help him sleep through. We got a hospital bed and the Hospice is getting their social worker involved to see what we're entitled to, but Dad has a bit of money so fuck it. He can't take it with him.

DS screamed for hours today with his gums - Nurofen, Calpol, Bonjela....nothing worked and he was bottle-refusing and starving and was in a right state. In desperation I sent DH round every chemist in town looking for Anbusol, which is liquid Lidocaine. It worked! We got a bottle into him and he fell adleep. Get some in, ladies!

PIL are 2 1/2 hours late coming to visit. Can't keep DS up any longer so have fed him to sleep. If they give me shit about him being asleep when they get here...

All ok in the end. He was asleep when they got here but woke up full of smiles after about an hour of then being here. There were some comments about it being disappointing that he was asleep when they got her but DP fended them off.

cat I had that when dd was little, everytime we would take her to dps parents they complained she was asleep!

dd seems to not want to breastfeed during the day anymore. Which doesn't really bother me that much however her reaction to it is alarming! I don't think I could ever do anything as horrendous as offer her boob between the hours of 9 and 5!!! Happily feeding now though, strange child

ark I have issues feeding ds in public or with the TV on now. Are you giving bottles of EBM or formula? Do you want to continue bf for the foreseeable?

She's having formula bottles. I'm lucky if I can express 2 ounces over an hour to be honest. And when she's downing 5oz consistently it's not going to get me far! I'm not terribly fussed about breastfeeding. Both of us are happier when she has formula!

amy the only way to BF DD during the day is literally take her to the bathroom and leave the light off. Otherwise, she starts to bash her arms around, arch and scream. Been expressing like crazy last few days, not too sure how long I will last. I got in my mind 4 months as a target, but that's another 3 weeks ahead. Might as well "close the shop" earlier if I get fed up spending days expressing and feeding all the time. I have enough milk, but it's just exhausting and time consuming. She also like to hold the bottle while eating.