November 2014 - The one where we figure it all out... Or at least try.

[Arkkorox]

Couldn't see another thread ladies! Crap title I know but I couldn't think of anything else!

Thisis how on earth did you manage to put the nappy in the wash!

Hi all, sleep situation similar here - in bed more than in cot again now and frequent waking. DP away for two weeks so am in new house on my own and feel weirdly unsettled myself, so not surprised poor DD is too.

DD has mastered rolling off her tummy but for the first time she rolled off her back onto her tummy this morning. Time flies past! I don't think she's going to crawl either, she's already trying to pull herself up on the furniture and stand.

Last lot of jabs tomorrow, thinking that the sleep situation isn't going to change for a while yet as both previous lots have made her cranky and clingy.

urgh not a good day, I'm a bit shit at this being a mum Lark I think . Just lost the plot earlier and shut myself in the bathroom to scream cause I just couldn't get anything right and dd was just more upset at everythjng I did

I need a break

ark be reassured that all mums do that. I sit in the sofa and cry at least once a week (yesterday because dd bit me again and I don't know how to stop her).

The actual reason is just as you said, because you need a break. Get dp to take baby out for an hour, that's generally all I need to get going again (but I do dream of an afternoon 'off').

sending hugs and calorie free cake.

DP is part of the issue at the moment. Getting him to have her alone is a nightmare. I've let him off after his dad died and he's been coming to terms with it but now it's seriously affecting me. I've told him on Monday I'm havjng dinner with a friend, no ifs or buts, I will be leaving at 7 and I won't be back till 10. Just need to hang on till then but I do think I need to put my foot down with either him doing the night feed or me doing the night feed and him getting up with her when she wakes up for the day. Hes only here a few nights a week, I can't help being a bit fucked off that he can go to his mums and sleep and I NEVER get a break.

Ark, feeling your pain. My DP has gone to Cambodia for two weeks on a motorbike trip.

My only consolation is that he's going to owe me big time when he gets back.

twiglet Two weeks!!!

I'm just hoping the older they get the less intense it is. Please someone tell me it does get easier as they get older?

Ark - you def need to put your foot down!!! I also find things get to me more if I'm not getting a break so I think you do right to get out for the evening.

I've found dh has been a lot less hands on this time - with ds he would alternate night feeds with me so every other night
I could sleep & he'd put him to bed, soothe him when he was overtired or take him for walks so I could have a bit of time out. This time around I am doing 95% of it with dd & rarely get a break. He seems to prefer to sort out ds & let me deal with the baby but sometimes I think that's just because its the easier option. She can be very hard to settle, especially when overtired & it makes him reluctant. I think he's finally realised I need more help with the night feeds as he's offered to do it tonight yay!!

Wow hedgehog 6-9 month clothes?!! DD is still mostly in 0-3, we are just starting to move into a couple of her 3-6 things now & she is 4 months next week.

amy are you still using your mei tai? dd isn't liking the caboo much anymore so tried her in the ssc & she went nuts. I've just ordered the most gorgeous new one today but now worrying she wont like it!

ark a good cry or scream is a necessary part of being a mummy I think. Big hugs. Really enjoy your night out, you have had a rough ride of it, you deserve to look after yourself too.

2nd set of jabs this afternoon. He screamed like a banshee for 30 seconds and then oddly quiet. It has now taken an hour of rocking, shushing and patting to get him to sleep. Don't want to wake him by putting him down. Takeaway for tea methinks. X

Sometimes when day feels too long and I cannot wait DH come home and take over I put DD on the floor below tha chandelier on the 1st floor landing. She literally forgets about anything in the world, kicks her arms and legs and makes odd sounds for good half hour. I meanwhile lie on the same floor and stare in the ceiling with blank mind. Helps a lot...

ark you def need to get him to give you a break, I have to push dp because he thinks he can't do anything because I'm feeding but the hour he takes her out on weekends keeps me sane.

I think the cinema is my escape, even though she is with me, I'm immersed in the film, in the dark, not talking baby talk. If only it wasn't massively inappropriate to drink wine in there with her.

I just don't know how to have that conversation with him without it ending up in an argument or putting more stress on him. He's not coping with losing his dad and having to keep an eye on his mum as it is

This is ridiculous isn't it. Ironic that I would get more help with her from him if we broke up!

omama Yes still using the mei tai but also trying to get the hang of a ring sling. Not used the stretchy for a while.
Borrowing a didytai on Sunday.
Hhmmmm. Maybe a little hooked on babywearing!

Sometimes by the time it gets to tea time I just can't wait to give him to his dad to hold. I love him to bits but the effort of having to concentrate all day is just too much sometimes. He is current sat on his dad's lap watching masterchef while grunting and groaning like a pig.

Floople DD also is watching Masterchief on DH lap :)

Masterchef is obviously the official father and child bonding program!

Wow I feel like a new person after having more than 2 consecutive hours of sleep for the first time in a week! I even got to lie down and sleep rather than falling asleep sitting up and waking up later all uncomfortable. I was so tired yesterday I couldn't even type out a post complaining about how I was getting less sleep than I did when she was newborn. DD1 didn't wake up for any random reasons last night either like she did the previous couple of nights. We didn't get to sleep until after 11.30 last night because she needed a long feed just as I was trying to go to bed, but only woke up once in the middle of the night, then at 5.45 and we have to get up at 6 anyway.
Tomorrow we are meeting my mum to take DD1 to the shoe shop. I can't get to the shoe shop that I trust to correctly fit shoes for her weird not-the-same-size feet on public transport, but my mum won't come ove r and drive us there. We have to get the train to her: me, baby in carrier as can't get pram on train, 3yr old to entertain without being able to carry much 'entertainment', 2x over 1hr train journeys, my critical mother . DH really needs to get recovered enough for driving soon!

Good luck happy. It doesn't sound like fun but your DC1 will appreciate the new shoes. Well done for surviving that lack of sleep.

I was hating having no time to myself so have decided this morning to have a try of something new. DS is now generally sleeping from 11-6 with one wake up of an hour. He has a feed at 6 and usually goes back down roughly 7-8.30/9. So I am trying getting up myself at 7 so I can have 2 ish hours of time for me. We will see how it goes but sitting here with a cup of coffee feels pretty good.

Better night last night. Homemade co-sleeper is a hit. DH is taking ds to baby bliss this morning so I'm going to have a bubble bath and sort my knotty hair out!

That sounds like heaven amy.

Did anybody watch My Violent Child on channel 5 last night? Watched it with tears in my eyes. 2 little boys who were violent towards their parents. Both who felt they had no time and attention from their father figures. Heartbreaking.

DD decided to give a shot to sleeping through went down last night at 9pm and not a sound till 3.30am. I went to bed at 11pm and at 3am was in the kitchen pumping off the hurting boobs. Never been in such a state, pj top soaking wet and while with pump on one breast, the other was dripping on my pj bottoms. Unbelievable! 8oz EBM in 10 minutes.
I dont think I need DD to properly sleep through as yet, no joy for me, she better nap during the day (yesterday she only had 3x30 minutes despite me taking her around in pram for 2 hours).

Second round of jabs today...

My baby is 17lbs 13oz!! No wonder her 6-9 month clothes are getting snug. She's costing us a fortune in clothes. Sigh.

I put her to bed early last night and she is still asleep now, how does that work? Usually she's demanding my attention from about 5am!

I put dd down for a late nap at 5.30 yesterday and she didn't wake up again! I was terrified she'd want to get up at 5 but she went til 7 still. Phew. Still lots of wake ups though. The last few weeks we've had 1 wake up around 3/4 which lasts an hour, her nappy is so full she can't sleep and the change wakes her. I think the full nappy is because she's feeding so much right now.

I'm definitely getting less sleep that when she was a newborn. I feel so far from getting her into the cot because of all the wakes ups, feeding when cosleeping is so much easier.

Much better night here last night, I'm not feeling quite so rubbish today!

Put Dd down at 10 and although I heard her wake up at half 3 she didn't actually cry so I didn't get up or try and feed her and she self settled and slept through till 5:40! I wonder if she actually hasn't needed a feed at 3:30 and I've just been jumping the gun a bit? She went back to sleep till 7:30 then I took her to bed with me for an hour so we've all had a bit of a catch up sleep.

hedgehog that's impressive! Proper baby!

Rubbish day here - its Day 8 of Dad Duty and its starting to take its toll. Up with baby several times and then up with him twice for bowel movements etc. which is hard and grim.

DH had a mini meltdown cos of the pressure of living in a small house with his ILs and my sis and BIL - ZERO privacy. And he's been doing most of the baby care during the day as Dad requires so much care. And DS is teething and being very whingey today so he was tired and overwrought. I knew he had to have a jolly good rant and get it out of his system so he was ranting away about the lack of privacy and then my sister burst into the room to summon me for Dad! I thought his head would explode.

But as i predicted he felt better afterwards.

Then my sister got pissed off cos my DH had glared at her and started moaning to me about that and I was saying how I was being pulled three ways and felt like a crap Mum cos i had to keep handing DS back to DH 20 times a day and she kept saying she understood and she was in the same boat and I made the fatal error of saying "No you're not cos you're not a Mum"

Ooops.

Now she's zero interest in having kids and never ever had, but apparently it was still a vile thing to say and now she's not talking to me.

Oh for the love of fuck. What a day.