October 2014 // thread 4 // a lot of night feed chatting!

[sazzlehopes]

Welcome everyone. You're doing a good job by the way. Remember that.

You will get through this Splendide, ring your HV and ask for some advice and support. Even just doing that might make you feel like you've taken steps in the right direction and might make you feel more positive (although not as positive as a few hours sleep I know). Sometimes when I've been really sleep deprived and felt a bit bleak it's helped to list all the positives, is that something you're able to do or is it all just too overwhelming? Sending big hugs.

As a very pro bf mum, I second/third considering a ff to give yourself a break. It doesn't have to be a swap over, it can just be a way of getting a night off. If there is a worry about dairy then get a dairy free one, someone more knowledgeable can suggest a brand. You are a great mum as you can see the issues and are not hiding from them. Parenting is really bloody hard in the beginning, it will get easier as they grow. Speak to you HV on Monday morning for some help. Talking to them is a really really good idea. They are there to help,not just weigh the baby! X x x

I don't know what to do for the best really. I've expressed some milk and we were going to try to give him a bottle today so if that works I might get a break but I'm scared he'll refuse to take a bottle (won't take a dummy). Thanks for the advice.

Splendide, sorry you're having such a rough time. I agree with Yellow that he might have reflux or CMPI BUT he also might not be getting enough milk. This happened to a friend of mine recently. She had to top up with formula but her baby is now happy and she's getting some rest too.

Splendide he probably won't love the idea of a bottle after the boob but at his age should hopefully accept it. My DD took her first at 8 weeks. You should leave the room & ask your DH to do it. Make sure it is room temp & rub the teat from the tip of his nose to top lip until he opens his mouth to accept. Some milk should come out by doing this & he should get idea.
As Yellow said the constant screaming is not normal & seems like it may be symptomatic of something else.

Hi Badger and a looong overdue hello, all. Been lurking for ages! Older mum of DS1 (and only) who is 10 weeks old already - where did all that time go?
Re the Cerazette question - same here. Been on it ten days and started bleeding yesterday. Like a period but no pain to speak of, apart from ongoing post-ELCS twinges. Think it's quite common but some people can bleed for ages so crossing everything that that isn't the case!
Thanks all for letting me lurk for so long, and a big hug for Splendide. This, too, shall pass. As I believe they say around these parts.

Anyone stopped bleeding and then started a little bit 7 wks after EMCS? GP says not period but that was when I thought it had stopped but fresh blood now not pinky stuff but only little bits, sorry TMI!

splendide if you are in the west midlands I'm available for chatting/tea making offer. I know what it's like to have the constant crying and an exhausted baby. Please go to out of hours as it really isn't right. He might need meds to help him through. Don't suffer alone with this. Your oh needs to help you so you keep your sanity!

Splendide, so sorry you're having such a hard time. You are not a crap mum you are an amazing mum to be enduring this. I second all the advice - get him checked out for medical issues but after that you need to look after yourself so ensure he has milk, comfort and is changed and then leave him somewhere safe (cot)
while you have a short breather. Have you got family or friends who can take him for a short while? Also I'd consider going out while your partner gives bottle - it will be hard for you to hear him crying if he doesn't easily take to it. Tell every professional out there how you are feeling - there is help out there and you can take it. They may not solve all the issues but having a support line when you need it is so important. Reach out to everyone. Hugs

splendide My DD wouldn't take a dummy, it took until she was 7 weeks with constant perseverance to get her to have it. She's still not good with a bottle. But the dummy means at least there is something else apart from my boobs that will settle her - which was important to me

Dummies give me sanity while breastfeeding. Keep persevering.

Goats What lessons did you learn? We take out children for two days and an overnight in London every summer. We are working our way around 'The Sights', doing a few each year. Bloody hard work with three kids. Cannot imagine what next year with 4 kids will be like

Splendide my DS is FF so can't advise re getting yours to take a bottle... But just in case it helps, here are some things I've done to get him to sleep.

1. An app on my phone called Relax Melodies - has a preset one called Sleepy Baby which usually works a treat (and on mummy, too!). Often requires loud shushing in his ear so that he shuts up long enough to notice the lovely calming sound, though!
2. He loves to be on his side. We lay him on the edge of a vertical cushion and sit next to him with one arm supporting his head. He always ends up in the same position and pretty much always dozes off.
3. If all else fails, the sling usually doesn't.
4. Holding a dummy in his mouth with a thumb, with the rest of my hand covering his eyes, quite often sends him 'down a notch on the sleepy scale' and helps one if the other methods to work. Also stroking gently down his nose.

No idea if any of this is useful to you, but if even one word of it triggers an idea of something new to try, then it'll have been worth writing. Good luck, and keep hanging in there.

Well he's been asleep nearly three hours now. I've had a break and a sleep so feel more human. Should I wake him do you think?

Nooooooooooo!!!!

Go rest, drink lots of tea, eat all the biscuits, do a poo, cut your finger nails, iron something to wear tomorrow, eat more biscuits - just don't wake him. X

Hell no! Sleep more yourself, or have a bath with a book.

fate it's more I had things I knew further proven, and boyfriend learned that I'm not just being annoying when I suggest a timetable of events that will fit around feeds! That if we've got a 3 hour drive with traffic ahesd, then it's not ok to stop for diesel, booze and to fill tyres up, adding on half an hour, because that means shouty child when we aren't at our destination. I found the whole thing stressful, particularly the 40 minute stop at lidl, leaving me in the car with angry child. I'd suggested we do all those things in the afternoon when he was playing online.

Next weekend it's Manchester, and I'm already worrying about it.

My period has now definitely arrived - it's fine to use tampons agsin right?

Ok! Feel a little more human now.

DH managed to give the boy a bottle when he woke up. It was just 1 ounce so neither here nor there in terms of me getting a break today but at least he happily took a bottle. Feels like a little chink of light, I might get a break at some point.

Thanks again for dealing with my self absorbed panic.

Goats, you're so brave! I can't imagine traveling far with him, I need to grow a spine!

Just catching up on the thread, Splendide that's brilliant that he took to the bottle, no mean feat at all! Glad you feel better this afternoon, sounds like you had a horrific night, I'm glad some of our ladies were around to offer support, that's what this thread is here for and we will all take turns to have meltdowns and give advice at some point!

Goats I was stuck in the car briefly with two angry shrieking car seat bound offspring whilst DH was fannying about getting the dog dry and in the car, I HATE being stuck in the car with them when they're upset. Next time offer to leave DP in the car with her! We have a car dummy for Lil for that situation but it doesn't work very well when left sterilising in Milton on the kitchen sideboard! We went to a Christmas fayre in St Andrew's, its sooooo cold its snowing! So DH has gone to get the tree. I bet the eldest proves to have excellent bauble shot putting abilities.

:) at the screaming in the car! I was away for the weekend - 3hrs drive away, both DD & DS travelled perfectly both ways. Got home & nipped to local shop to get milk & both of then went nuts when DH went in. I turned on the radio & started to sing, we must have sounded great from outside!
Splendide glad things are looking less bleak. We are all here for each other & I know I have had my fair share of self absorbed crazy moments with these gals over the last 40 ish weeks. I really would chat to your HV tomorrow as it sounds pretty full on.

Hello Jeanne and welcome to the gang! Glad it's not just me on the Cerazette...

Just though id say hi- ds currently asleep on the boob, wanting to move him to his cot but terrified of waking him but my hips are killing me from being on my side for the past two hours so am browsing on here for distraction :s dreading his immunisations tomorrow -not that his sleeping could get much worse but i bet it will!

I'm driving over to Yorkshire tomorrow with r for my uncles funeral. Not looking forward to the drive going on my own as dp is looking after my other the children. I have to drive over wood head pass which is a horrible twisty windy road over the mountains with lots of big drops at the side and snow is forecast. I'm really hoping r will sleep on the way there and back.

splendide glad you're feeling a bit better :)

Dp did last night with Rocco it was my weekly night off, r bloody slept 11-7 dp got off so lightly

I got my first giggle today my heart melted :)

Hi wondermoose you maybe surprised vaccinations have always made mine very sleepy. Fingers crossed you get sleepy baby not grumpy baby

Lol oh id give anything for them to make him sleepy! Hes currently screaming the place down :s