March 06 - At last! Thread no2 - Halfway Through

[Frizombie]

Ok girls here it is!

Snow caddy wow! you'll be able to go ski-ing n everything, oh mind you, your kinda used to snow coming from Canada eh!
Good to see your feeling good enough to crack on with garden a bit.
LL how are you today?
Astro? Uni? and everyone else??

We have chicken pox, and sob, just had to canx dd1's party for 15 kids tomorrow (nice play place have postponed, so not lost money) rung nursery, who conf'd others have gone down with it too....grrr....2 weeks stuck at home, argh!

having a crap day.
have been tring and failing to get boy to nap, then trying and failing to get out of teh house, I have to get a document photocopied before tomorrow morning. Have just phone dh in tears to ask him to come home now rather than in 2 hours so i don;t have to take boy into town.
crap night last night, boy yelled for 3 hours every time he was put in cot. I'm doing 2x 12 hr days work on sat and sun and I feel wiped out before i've even begun. grrrrr.

I have banana, snot, drool and tears on my t shirt, milk and sick and soup on my jeans. boy is trying to play with a plastic bag, you can;t open the front door for stuff in teh way. AAASRRGH.

feeling a bit happier now :-) left boy with dh and went shopping for an hour or so. bliss to be on teh bike into town and able to go round continenal market with out pushchair. now have some nice dutcha nd french chese and german and italian salamis to try... yummy.
Work tomoorrow!

{{{{Big Hugs}}}} Uni, you sound like you've had one hell of a day, any idea why boy was crying so much last night?? teeth maybe?? glad dh got home tho, so you could get yummy food, are you taking it to work with you, or have you scoffed it all already Enjoy work this weekend bet its quite nice to get back into it again really!

Friz, so at the thought of that tiny coffin - funerals should be for old people only eh?

Uni, glad you are feeling calmer and good on you for getting DH to step in. Try to forget you are a mummy for a while this weekend and like Friz says I bet you'll enjoy working again - not sure about the 12 hour shift tho.

Caddy, I was wondering if you read in bed as I find that this helps to stop the worrying developing? Try something completely removed from your life - trashy novels are good - but something that you will get absorbed in. I'm in a book club (when did I suddenly get this social life??) and am really enjoying it. Are there some things that are getting you down that you can tackle, i.e. not the kids or money but start small...

Astro, how you doing???????

Good to see that all is quiet. I hope that means you are all enjoying a nice family week end.

Uni: I sure remember the days like the one you described. DD2 was a terror. I hope your work week end went well and that your boy was more content.

LL: I do need to try and get back to reading. I can barely concentrate on the posts on MN at the moment though... I do find that having the house more sorted has made me feel less awful... How are you now?

Sure are Caddy, even if one of us has the Pox...did a lurvely sunday dinner this evening, dd2 liked it all bar the parsnips, ho hum eh, can't have her liking everything....dd1 had icecream only, as her pox is hurting her throat n mouth somewhat, my hopes for a mild case are out the window....
How's your day been?
Astro, has the poo thing sorted itself out?
LL how u feeling today?
Uni did you enjoy work?
Munz have you found us again?
Rom, Chelle, Vicki, Gothic etc Hi

hi girls
thanks friz - she (DD, for everyone else) did poo, but will have to see the doc for a longer term strategy.

We are sort of doing CC - its called 'modified controlled conforting' - basically everytime you go in you comfort until baby is calm and lying down before leaving the room. We are only doing it for day sleeps and in the eveings - if he wakes in the night we do 20 mons, then cuddle or feed to sleep. Its a nightmare, but I hope it will help. I am so, so tired.

Apart from that, am feeling a bit more positive about dealing with DDs defience/disobedience etc, have go a few new stretegies to try with her.

Am a bit down with the days being so short now.

Caddy, wish I was close to where you live. We could give each other tea and sympathy.

LL, am up for some tea and sympathy with you and Friz but Christmas is getting Cloooooose! Arrgh!

Hello all...

I could so use a good cup of tea and a chat. Once again, I am feeling tearful and blue. I really thought that things were looking up until DS1 was in tears at bedtime about his teacher. ARGH!! We spend a fortune to send him there (money we SO don't have and he is miserable...) I didn't sleep again last night. This is getting ridiculous really.
I shall boil the kettle and enjoy my the last of the PG Tips. Thankfully, my SIL's sister is on her way from Wales this week end with some more. I am trying to imagine making it through the week without letting her see that I am a complete wreck.
Friz: Sorry about the pox. I have been down that road once with DS1 and DD1 but I suppose that I will have to do it all over again with the little two at some point. Better not be soon for the sake of my fragile sanity.
LL I hope that you are not feeling so low today. Have any exciting plans for the week?

Uni, let us know how work went
Munz: Are you around or out at some M&Ts? I have not received the package yet but I am looking very much forward to it. Thank you SO SO much for going to the trouble. I could return the favour with something from here or an online shop if you need one.
Astro: we used to give dd1 a bottle of prune juice daily and it was the best simple solution!
Big hellos to lilKel, Rom, Chelle, Vicki, Gothic and anyone else that I am forgetting.

Thanks for asking about work, it was fine, i enjoyed it, hardly missed boy at all tho dh recons he missed me, he kept signing milk... tho hes been doing it a lottoday as well, so i suspect its just sign of teh week, like da is sound of teh week.

hes still in a bad phase about day time sleeps. At teh mo hes bawling in his cot AGAIN. I think its a sort of modified controled comforting we are/were trying, but its not going very well as he just seems to be learning to cry for longer. As soon as I walk into his room he calms down, as soon as i leave he screams. EVEN if hes been asleep in my arms, once his back hits the matress hes awake and yelling. This morning i gave up after 30 mins of yelling and declared nap time OVER. 5 mins to go till I do teh same on this one. Hes had 30 mins in teh push chair and thats all today, yesterday it was 45 mins after 15 of crying in teh cot, saturday the same or maybe less as dh was on his own, friday was 30 mins in pushchair only. He gets so cranky when he's tired but untill he learns to go to sleep its hard to know what to do with him. hes not having all his naps in teh pushchair, its getting cold and I don;t want to be walking teh streets for ages just to get him off to sleep. 3 mins to go and no decrease in teh sound level ... I'm really hopping he will get teh mesage eventully that hes going to be given teh chance to sleep in his cot when hes tired so he better get on sleep.

Hello ladies,
Sorry to be barging in on your cozy chat, it seems so rude of me, but I just can't help it. I am having a tough time at the moment and just know that you all will understand...
I'm nearly 10 weeks pg with number 2. This is great, great news, except that I'm suffering from 'morning' sickness as I did with DS and it's keeping me from enjoying either him or my new pg. All I want to do is curl up in a little ball and I know it's just wrong to ignore DS at all. Especially because he has just (finally!) started rolling around. I mean, a lot. Like all the time. And he needs watching because he'll often sick up, or just get frustrated cus he can't crawl yet. But if I sit there all day watching him, I worry that he's not learnign to play on his own! His naps are also wrecked (lots of empathy here UniSarah) as he just rolls onto his belly in his cot and then doesn't sleep. I fought so hard to get him to sleep on his own and now I feel it's all slipping backwards, fast.
So, how on earth am I going to cope with a newborn when he's 15 mo old?!?!? No grandmas nearby to help and just completely worried about handling this!! Not to mention the labour - it was ghastly for me last time to the point I'm thinking of elective ceasarian. This is just so not acceptable to English GPs though!

OK rant over, thanks for listening. I just don't know where to begin.

Lots of love to all of you & hoping your LOs give you a big smile today...

Oh Lilkel poor you. Having suffered my 18 months of 'morning sickness' you have my full sympathy but the thought of having it now is beyond me!! I bet labour will be better this time around and as for an elective c-section imagine having a 15 month old, a new baby AND a scar....maybe the doctors are thinking of your welfare and not just NHS budgets. I am not anti c-sections but I do know how wonderful it was to leave hospital 3 hours after having Kiah and be snuggled up on the sofa with the whole family. Anyway, no point in getting stressed about all that just yet, just come on here and whinge about the nausea and then we can have a group cheer the day it finally stops....

Friz, sorry forgot to send poxy hugs - poor DD1 and her throat.

Astro, Caddy - no time to post as bedtime beckons but thinking of you and hope you are both feeling a bit less low.....

Uni well done re the signing tho, I'm still getting dd2 to try to respond to it! sure its going in, she's just not bothered to sign back
Sorry to hear your having a crying time of it...we're going thru it a bit during daytime naps too, seems dd2 just wants to be with me, I on the other hand just want her to sleep! and poor old dd1 to have me to herself for an hour, so sounds like we're doing a similar thing, lots of popping back in and patting, quick cuddle if really bad screaming, then bailing out again...dd2 does usually drop eventually....I remember dd1 used to be even more of a pain tho, seem to remember taking over an hour to drop off one day......
Astro, sorry to hear your having same probs....
I know Xmas is fast approaching, but we all should try and catch up, let us know if anytime is best for you, and we can all compare notes! (Chatsworth is fab at Xmas ) Glad dd1 is sorted for now, hope doc has good solution. If you want a case of the pox to top it all off you know where to come
Lilkel ick re the sickness, you have my sympathy too, like LL says feel free to moan all you like, that's what we're here for! If you find yourself getting snowed under with two, you can always give homestart a shout, under homestart.com I think, explains all about them, they're voluntary helping hands (but won't babysit, but they can do things like watch kids whilst you clean house, yourself etc!) have heard great things about them
Caddy, {{{{Hugs}}}} sorry to hear ds1 (?) still not happy about school....have you spoken with them about it (sorry if covering old ground here?) Don't worry about SIL seeing you fall apart, if that's what you feel like doing go for it, family are there to help you when your down you know!! Seriously tho, have you thought about going to Dr's again?? I know LL suggested it the other week, but AD's for a bit just might help, like Uni says they're not forever, but they can help re set your hormones you know. Are you getting anychance to get out in the community at the mo? what's the expat network like?

Just remembered what dd2 did today, this may amuse you... dd1 yelled 'mum she's got that, n she's not supposed to have it!' Q me vaulting the stair gate from kitchen to hall to find, dd2 had dismantled the radiator cap (the smaller end) and had fitted it all in her mouth one over the knee and back smacked to get it out baby later, moaning because she wanted it back This one is definately trouble, dd1 never ever attempted to do anything like eating the radiator.........

LOL Friz just when you think the hallways are safe...!!!

Thanks for the homestart link as well. It def sounds like something I can make use of going forward. Still in shock with number 2 on the way. Like really, what DID i get myself into here? Then I see the look of wonder and joy on DS's face when he sees something new and it all just melts away. It's amazing, isn't it?

Cad - I'm a foreigner too - born in the US (shhh don't tell anyone!) and living in the UK for the second time, tho this time seems permanent as I'm married, kids, dog, yadda yadda. I fought some truly ferocious homesickness when I came here, I mean it was bad (my last home in the US was NYC). I can so totally relate to feeling horrible about small things like tea bags. All I can tell you is, the best thing I did was get some help from my GP (counselling & prozac). Still on it due to PND but feel I'm in control and things to look forward to again, even if it's all just different. Hope you find some happiness over there -

Lilkel, you should talk to Daemara when she's on here (not on this thread tho) she's also an expat! she's stateside at the mo tho for a few weeks....
I know, who'd have thought a hall had anything in it that was dangerous!
Agree they are sooo sweet when the suddenly realise something or discover something

Thanks Friz and LilKel. I suppose that it might help if I actually had a doctor that I liked/trusted and 15 minutes to spend alone with said person BUT (and this is a big one for me) I just can't see how meds are going to fix anything because our problems are still going to be here and I am still going to feel stuck here all alone. (I don't even like to take Paracetamol unless I am really poorly.)

My DD2 was born in NYC... DS2 in London. I wish I had known just how very easy it was to be in those cities as compared with here. Everything just seems to be too much for me to handle. I can't even enjoy a meal out because ordering is a mystery/nightmare and fighting for the bill at the end is just beyond me. (Sorry for more ranting...)

I hope to get some sleep tonight and wake up feeling better.

DS2; DD2 and I spend the morning at a museum with another mum and sibbling from the big kids' school. It was nice to be able to chat about our chaotic lives. If only she didn't constantly have to remind me that my DH is only on a one year contract... I had nearly forgotten about that whole fiasco.

Friz: I love to picture your dd2 eating the radiator. I have much to look forward to as dd2 discovers mobility.

hello friz!

Caddy didn't realise that about the contract, but bet he'll get longer right?
Seriously the meds will help it all seem a little less bonkers, and when that happens, you can tackle things better, honest they work, my friend whose recently started on them, after putting things off for a few years, is now happy as larry (whose he then?) and getting everything sorted. Could you get a nice lady GP to talk to from somewhere?

Not too sure about the GP situation. I really like the dr for the kids and would really trust hert for anything medical but I just don't think thst I could properly talk to her about the chaos in our lives. The truth is that I really do think that DH and I need to rework things in our everyday lives so that it is less hectic and insane rather than look to meds which might only be like a plaster on a gaping wound.

DH's contract will likely be renewed every year for as many years as he might like but it will be an issue of how much stomach lining that means every year. It certainly beets the revolving 90 day ones from NYC though. (Still can't really believe that we have been here for 4 months of 12 month contract though.) Who knows where we might be in 8 months...

hert=her! DD2 is helping me type this evening.

hey all, just stopping by to look in.

cads - all's I want is to see you with a smile on your face and a little bit of light at the end of the tunnel! (just hoping u don't only have a shower! lol besides you sent me the stuff from the USA more PG tips will follow as well!) I didn't reaslise the contract was yearly - as u say better than NYC, least everyone's under one roof. as I keep saying thou please don't be too ahrd on yourselves, it's been a big up heaval for everyone - there's the lingo, the currency and the time zones - and thta's b4 u get into the nitty gritty, I bet thou a lot of the other families felt the way you do when they first moved there from the states - do they have any form of contact centre or anything so u can chat to otehrs who have been thru similar experiences? Is your DH still away a lot? i'd say meds would be a last resort but that's my personal thought, they work for some folks not for others. is your DH able to take some time out for a while to help u all have fmaily time - obviosuly if its effecting you this much and the children it will eventually have a knock on effect for him iycwim. I only wish I lived closer cos i'd come and visit u and take the kids out for the day or something for u I feel bad now din't send them over sooner but had to wait for DH's money to clear thru.

lil - yes feel free to join us! (nott hat i'm here much - really really must do better this time! lol.) i'd love another now but DH is reluctant - quite right I guess, still having troubles witht eh boy's sleeping v erratic, money etc. still ho hum.

not much going on here - boy's into anything/everything crawling, pullin himself up, we're having bumps n bruises knocks, the poor dogs are harrassed! lol. (still thank god we've had no mishaps - well unless u count J kicking the dog out of her bed on a regular basis) he's found their food as well and that doors shut! lol. he's just such a live wire when he's awake, sleep wise we've gone from goin thru at 7 months to gettin stedily worse over the past month, last night we were up at 1 3 4 5 6 how peeved was I?? anyhow fingers crossed he'll settle down again - i'm sure it's teeth as he's been crying out in his sleep as well still not to worry we'll get there.

best get off now. hope everyone's OK thou.

Whoa, a busy Tuesday on this thread!
Hello to all, esp Munz on a rare visit...Friz how are the spots coming on???

My friend came round today with her baby who is nearly one and he was into everything - arts and crafts box, playing the piano etc. and I realised that I will have to baby proof the house all over again once fatty gets off her bum!! Maybe if we sell the house soon I can tie it in with the move....

On that front we've had two viewers but both were a waste of time: one family wanted to downsize from a HUGE house but wanted to have a pool room and the others wanted a garden...hello....read the details first!!! Tomorrow we have a buy-to-let purchaser coming round but we can also explore renting it out ourselves if no interest soon.

Tomorrow I am doing my first work day in London! Plan is to feed on the station platform at both ends of the day and DP will have to get some EBM down her in the day. She is having her second pneummo jab too. I tell you what though I'll enjoy the train ride and may even treat myself to a trashy mag on the way home.

Hi everyone and reading your stories of the LO's getting into everything with a mixture of fascination and dread. When my DS wakes up and realises he can eat the dog food, it's all o-v-e-r!!!

Cad- My heart breaks for you. Really, I know exactly the exasperation you're feeling. It nearly ended my marriage - and I too knew that the problems were deeper than any meds could touch, but somehow, they gave me a clear head and then I could just start dealing with things instead of despairing all the time. You could always try them, you don't have to continue if they don't help. You'd know within 2-3 weeks for sure. At least try to speak to someone about it - your kids' doc is a place to start. Maybe she can point you to someone else. It is the hardest thing I know. Just believe it can all get better. Promise.