Elderberries no 2 - all old and new berry babies welcome!

[HazleNutt]

New thread!

Lilly of course you are a good Mother! If you get up in the morning to find your baby is alive and well and things are still that way when you go to bed then you are a success! It doesn't really matter if how you get there is slightly different to others and you should give yourself a pat on the back every day in recognition of your parenting prowess. That is my mantra anyway

I'm with you Lilly, I don't worry half as much as I expected Obviously I do occasionally fret some stuff but generally feel comparatively relaxed that whilst I have no idea what I'm doing, neither does anyone else with a baby, so I'm sure I will struggle my way through like they do. I think weirdly I do worry a bit that I don't worry enough?!

I am starting to fret slightly about going back to work though. The fact that they still haven't written to me to confirm why they've declined my request for flexible working also pisses me off concerns me slightly. Lazy buggers.

Nan passed away today - not sure if anyone remembers but she was taken ill this time last year when I was pretty damn pg so it's a miracle in a way she lasted this long, and in relatively good health. Sad I missed saying goodbye due to being in France. However feeling a bit down means I'm unable to sleep - whilst DP snores next to me. Obviously it hasn't crossed his mind that tonight I might really appreciate a hug

Oh Janey, I'm so sorry, I do remember your nan being ill (wasn't it a stroke she had?) back when you were pregnant. Care to join me with an imaginary ? I haven't got a wanker anyone to give me a hug either.

It was a stroke, yes. She's had a couple more since and recovered amazingly each time, but think last night she had a minor heart attack too which was just too much for her to cope with... Bless her. I did have wine earlier - she would have approved of that.

He's turned over in his sleep now which means no more snoring and a hug. Excellent.

Hope she didnt suffer and is at peace janey. Plus she got to meet her grandson and watch him grown which must have been lovely for her.
I'm also not a worrier, which is odd, but even when things were at their worst and I was being rushed for my section I never thought I'd lose him. An now, I dont exactly follow advice to the T, I trust my instincts and my gut rather than the hv, I thought I'd be a worrier, but now I worry I'm selfish and don't put him first.

Been at a friends house this eve and H decided he didnt want to sleep in his pram he wanted to sleep on me, odd as he doesnt do that much anymore. But what was really odd is that my 2 friends were really really jealous that he is so snuggly and neither of theirs will sleep on them at all anymore. Made me wonder if I should appreciate the snuggles while he enjoys them enough to give me them?

Quick weaning question, H used to have 5 x 7oz bottles but the last few days he has dropped to 3 x 7oz, plus a few extra oz's at a real push. He is having porridge mixed with 3oz in the morning and what equates to a pot/sachet and a half for dinner. I've been concerned about him not getting enough milk even though I know he'll take it as/when he's hungry an have even offered it to him in his sippy cup which he took a few oz from. Just wondered when your LO's started dropping milk and whether I should worry? I'm seeing the hv on Monday as he's having his monthly weigh in so will ask them then too.

How old is H now mother? I think once they're past 6 months and eating decent amounts if food they're only supposed to have 500-600ml each day?

It's hard to compare as I was still bf until 9 months (albeit not much by the time I stopped) but I'm sure his feeds reduced a bit... That's the "problem" with breastfeeding - you have no idea how much they have so can't compare!

I've had the same issue with food, have been wondering how much he should be eating but all the threads I've found on here talk in terms of pouches or jars of ready made food, but I've always made my own. In the end I have decided to just be led by him...

janey he's 6 months in 11 days. How did that happen?!?

He is having about 700ml - 1000ml of milk a day, sometimes more. I buy some of the hipp organic jars of veg and keep them to store my homemade food in, makes it a bit easier to know how much he is having.

Janey, sorry to hear about your nan.

I am rather the worse for wear today after an NCT ladies night with a LOT of wine. DP did the night feeds, bless him, but a hangover is so much worse with a baby to look after. Lots of fun though and so nice to be out and baby free for a bit.

Very sorry to hear abut your Nan Janey but what a fighting spirit she seemed to have!

WARNING: YET ANOTHER SLEEP MOAN ALERT!
Unsurprisingly, E's sleeping has gone to shit yet again. For the last 4 nights she would only settle in our bed after waking around 3am, and then last night I think she woke 7 times, one of which was for 2 hours In addition to this she seems to have developed a new ability to resist sleep even when she is clearly knackered, so we are currently struggling to get her in bed on time and when she wakes in the night it is taking much longer then normal to settle her back off. She won't settle for DH at all at the moment (she usually does fine) so I am stuck with all the night wakings. I really hope this is the dreaded regression and will pass in a few weeks, I am knackered!

cav I don't feel so bad admitting that I had H laying next to me in bed on Friday quietly sobbing and begging him to sleep. This was after putting him into his cot god knows how many times for him to wake 3 mins later screaming, a sane person would ask their OH for help, but unsurprisingly he wasnt here so I just sat and cried, made everything much better though, even stopped my satan child crying for a bit. We both fell asleep shortly afterwards and when I woke 2 hours later I felt stupid. Thankfully he slept better last night or I might need a padded cell

Marking place. Can't muster the energy to post anything else

Morning all, just wondered if anyone else has tried any nap routines since I last asked like the evil Gina ford's timings, don't flame me , with any noticeable improvements to nights?

My boss has asked me if I want to do some paid work while I'm off (I know I can only do a max of 10 days) which I'm pleased about purely because from that, it doesn't sound like they were glad to see the back of me (mat leave paranoia!) However I'm not sure my work will be up to usual standard without good sleep?! Once again Hazle, lots of respect to you for going back so quickly! I also need to work out how I can do the work without paying for nursery. I've kind of agreed already by text without thinking it all through - I'm meeting my boss soon so I'd better decide how it would work and when I'll be feeling up to it.

Oh and S is having her first nap in her nursery! Weirdly feels like a milestone, she looked so cute and small in her big cot (she's still squashed into her sleepyhead though bless her)

Hello berries - can I say hi and introduce myself to the post-natal thread?
Currently on day 3 with (still nameless) little girl. Still deciphering her various grumbles & gurgles. Nipples already a bit cracked, but feeding mostly going well. Any top tips for the first week??

Hi poppy, congratulations! Welcome to motherhood! Glad things are going ok. My main tips would be, rest when you can, do not try to be everything to everyone, just concentrate on bonding with your little girl. Also, lots of photos and videos of her and you as a family, they change so quickly and those first pics are amazing to look back on.
Also someone sent me this link when I had H and it was actually really useful link [] you might need to skip forward to the good bit, but I found it really helped me learn what each cry meant.
p.s - Are we allowed to know the name shortlist?

alex, I've never been able to force H to fit any pattern, he makes his own pattern I'm afraid. He usually naps fairly reliably after his breakfast at 9 for around an hour, the next nap can vary depending on where we are/what we are doing, he then naps again around 3/4ish and 6ish and goes to bed between 8.30/9. I just follow his lead and do chores etc while he naps, his naps are fairly reliable so its fairly easy to work around him. I did look at Gina Ford but it just made me stressed, I see no way of 'making' H nap at a time she specifies, also if I wake him too soon and he needs more sleep he is just overtired and grouchy. I know it works amazingly for some though!

Well that link didn't work.

Hi Poppy! Congratulations!

Sleep moan - they will lull you into false sense of security, you start thinking that they are already sleeping reliably well and then..
Usually V goes to bed around 8 without any complaints. Yesterday would not, but cried every time I tried. Tried several times, DH tried, finally got him to bed at 10. After that, he was awake every sodding hour until I took him to our bed and he still woke a couple of times even there.

Was quite funny though, we watch some podcasts while eating breakfast, and the topic of this morning's one was "Babies cry at night to prevent siblings, scientist suggests"

DH has one of those wrist bands that track activities and sleep - he said that there's no point of me getting one, as it would just flash constant error messages and claim that those kinds of sleep patterns are not possible.

Poppy, if you don't have nipple cream yet, get some. You need it for the first few weeks every time you finish feeding. I got pretty sore to begin with, and it was hard but push through and it gets much better!

Welcome Poppy! My advice is give yourself time to just sit and stare at her, they grow so damn fast. Get pictures of you with her not just her on her own or with DH and don't worry if you end up in floods of tears a few times, it's normal! That said, it's probably better you listen to the others advice not mine, they seem to actually know what they're doing

Huge congrats poppy! My advice is to take advice with a pinch of salt as all babies and mums are different! I spent a lot of the first couple of months beating myself up about why I was finding it so tough, and what worked to calm down other babies wasn't working for me - and then I realised my baby had colic (for want of a better word) and the only thing that could make me enjoy it more was getting through that. Wish I'd gone easier on myself and known how much I'd really love it, now that she's happier. So find your feet on your own - enjoy the good days and nights and def ask us all for advice as it can be invaluable, but do what feels right for you and try not to get down if it feels like other people have it easier with any particular aspects.

Other than that, enjoy the newborn cuddles, yes to lanisoh and accept any help that will make things easier for you!

Congrat and welcome Poppy! Enjoy the newborn days, ration your visitors and take video while she's tiny is my advice. Oh and Lanisoh lanisoh lanisoh.

Alex, I have been working part-time and logistically find it easier, with the BF, to do half-days instead of full days. Annoying if you go by the letter of the law with regards to KIT days, then any part of a day is supposed to count as a KIT day, which I think is ludicrous, because then technically if you checked your emails on your phone that would count as one of your days. Could you break your workload up like that or would you have to be in an office for full days? It is doable, and weirdly I feel much more energised when I am working than when I am slobbing on the sofa eating cake! Is your mum around enough to have S for a 4 hr stretch, say?

Hi Poppy and welcome! My advice is not to feel selfish/pressured into visitors for the first few weeks while you are getting feeding established. Visitors can wait, it's far more important that you get enough sleep and get the feeding nailed.

Alex we have never tried to implement a nap schedule but a loose one had fallen into place of its own accord by S's age. IIRC E used to nap at around 9.30am, 12.30pm and 5pm, although these times could vary an hour either way depending on what time she decided to get up for the day, and durations could also vary, although she roughly used to nap for 1 hour, then 2 hours and then 30-40 mins. She dropped the third nap between 7-8 months and now naps at roughly 11am (for 1.5-2 hours) and 4pm (for 45 mins). These times and durations are also subject to change depending on her mood.

Hazle as our babies are closest in age (by due date) I wonder if it's a developmental thing as E s doing the same? Bedtime is currently a battle where is is usually a doddle, and she is taking ages to go down for her naps. It's like she wants to go to sleep and is tired but just can't nod off. Very frustrating! She is also making this incessant whining noise for the whole time she is awake which is wearing quite thin.

and alex we still have baby-led routine, he quite reliably has naps around 9.30 and 2.30, bed around 8. Except some days.

cav could be - because they're learning so much and don't want to miss anything while sleeping? Or they're frustrated because mummy keeps lifting them away from anything interesting that could be pulled or chewed?

Wow missed loads!
Janey so sorry about nan and hope she went without much pain.
Poppy welcome to the madhouse. Just do what you feel it's right and come here to moan / fret / ask questions.
Over here L landed on her head from the hotel bed and was so angry it was almost cute. The poor lamb now has a mark on her face.
Cav I'm fully expecting sleep to go to shit again soon. We're down to one wake only and I'm almost human again!

Thanks all! My helpful SIL made sure I had Lansinoh weeks ago, so very pleased she sent it.
Advice sounds great. When I've popped my head in on the grads thread before, the problems can seem a bit overwhelming. This should absolutely be the place to come and moan, but it's great to be reminded of the good stuff too. . Newborn cuddles are excellent and I'm loving the little staring moments as well.