The 8th Broadly Gemini Bus- The one where the babies refuse to sleep!

[bringonthetrumpets]

Numero 8!

Hoping for some actual sleep tonight!

It's just the shite 24 hours that keeps on giving. But I'll stop complaining and try to chin-up. and eat cake

M's second tooth is just under the surface and she's a drooling, rabid squirrel today chewing on everything and just can't help herself from biting my nips with. every. single. feed. Teething tablets and baby pain relievers aren't helping. HELP.

Oh god pear that sounds dreadful! I hope you guys don't get sick! Lots of Vit D, C, Zinc and echinacea to boost the immune system and hope it doesn't hit your house.

Bring ~ we've discovered that a wooden spoon really helps today and slices of cold cucumber ;-) These top ones are a real pain!!

Hahhah

Anyone up? I could do with a chat! #badday!

Hwy what's up?

Just settling ds. Not sure if you're still up but hope you're ok.

Just had a bit of an argument with a friend today. Well, it was more of a case of her ranting at me about something that wasn't my fault & could've been dealt with had she just text/emailed someone to let us know there was a problem. We run 2 toddler group sessions at our church & she's in charge of the more long-standing one. I do the register/admin for the recent second group. Basically she had a go because apparently the clean-up from our group isn't good enough & I should know how to do it properly because I've helped at previous similar events so know that mushed in food needs to be scraped up with a knife rather than just hoovered.

I started to try to apologise that things weren't satisfactory, whilst being utterly bewildered that this was the first we were hearing of a problem that had been ongoing 'for months' apparently, & explain that I wasn't actually doing the clean up because I was busy sorting out admin things at the end while others clean up & she just snapped at me that those things only take '2 minutes'. By this point I was already rather upset with her tone & tried to calmly explain that they might take 2 minutes in their team where the admin person doesn't have a child to take care of at the group & does it while everyone else is engaged in the activity but I need to be supervising my DC during the activity & then people are saying goodbye & generally interrupting my counting/organising while I'm still trying to keep my DC from going into a crazed tired/hungry/over excited state & getting this all done before it delays anyone else leaving because I don't have a key so can't hang back to lock up. Her response: "I've had 2 children. Don't ever throw 'children' at me." She clearly thinks I was just trying to make excuses for not doing things properly!

She's fully aware of my depression but seems to be under the impression that if she can just 'suck it up' & get on with life then everyone else should be able to too. It's just really upset me & I've not been able to sleep & ended up coming downstairs so I didn't wake anyone with my sobbing! Utterly ridiculous & pathetic but it's really bothered me & I'd been getting to such a good place. She's the wife of one of the church leaders so theoretically could make life difficult for me if I chose to challenge her. Right now I feel like I won't be able to go to church on Sunday or to the toddler group on Monday. I just want to hide & never see her again!

I've volunteered to take a key from one of the other helpers so I can make sure the clean-up is done well enough. This will mean giving the DC lunch while we're there & hoping that Runt doesn't get too grumpy/tired. I'm devastated because I feel like this church has been a huge part of my recovery & now I want to leave because of her. I feel completely pathetic for offering to take the clean up on on top of everything else I do because I feel like it's my responsibility because I do know how it 'should be done'. I was just getting to the point where I felt I had enough energy to start doing simple things with the DC like playing in the garden regularly. I'll probably be crying myself to sleep for the next few days & utterly exhausted & grumpy with the DC & that's before I even try to work up the courage to go anywhere near her! If I really do take on all the extra clean up Mondays are going to be exhausting & I'll spend the rest of the week recovering. Tbh, I'll probably wait until everyone's left & then sob while hoovering every week. Pathetic.

Oh agnu that's awful and not at all pathetic.

Please don't let her get to you. There's no excuse for being horrible to you but you never know what happened in her day that suddenly made her bring all this up. It may not have been anything to do with you. You just got the brunt of it.

Please don't take on more than you can do. Is there anyone in the group you could ask to help/run it with you? Could you make an announcement next time and ask, or ask everyone to do their part?

In any case those details are for another day. Just look after yourself for now. You're doing a great job there and at home and it's great that you're getting out doing things. She's not the queen of all things and has no right to judge. Your worth is not dictated by her.

Bugger. DS is kicking off again. Try to get some rest and be kind to yourself.

Good morning. How you feeling? Did you get done rest?

Hey, sorry I couldn't have responded sooner! Long day of prenatals yesterday.

The way you're feeling is not at all pathetic angu You're in a vulnerable position right now and things that normally would roll off your back can really bite and cause a lot of stress for you. This is a sucky place to be in with feeling depressed and feeling that set back after feeling so good. But this can also be a really good opportunity to examine how you're feeling, kind of face those feelings that you're having, and make the decision to find something that can be changed to help the situation be better. Even if you say "F- this, I'm taking a bath/shower/eating chocolate/taking a walk/whatever, and when I get done, I'm going to take a deep breath and turn the outlook of what is happening around." It's gotta be a "fake it until you make it" kind of situation while you are navigating your way out of the depression. Put on your favorite outfit that you feel makes you look fabulous, put on some makeup, do something that you really like to do for yourself (even if it's for 5 minutes) and give yourself a break. I am NOT saying that you need to suck it up. There are days where you may feel like complete crap and the best thing you can do is to acknowledge the way you're feeling and just let it happen. When you are able to identify those days between the better ones you will begin to notice the small differences in the way you're feeling day-by-day and begin to find ways to help you turn really bad days into slightly better ones. The way that she behaved toward you was very petty and passive aggressive and besides all that, how are you to read her mind? Clearly something else was bothering her and you were the closest target (I'd be quite worried if someone got that upset about the cleaning!). It is not your responsibility to take on jobs above and beyond what you are already doing just because she wasn't happy with one result. You do not need to go out of your way to please this woman. You are a strong, brilliant individual who has a lovely family of your own, you do not need to kiss her feet. I don't care if she owns the whole church, you do not owe anything extra to her that you don't genuinely want to do. Give yourself some time and find a way to vent the feelings you are experiencing. Write it down, talk to yourself in the mirror, actually talk to her (although from one introvert who avoids confrontation to another, I'd rather die than actually do this, so I am only saying what I'm supposed to be saying ) just find some way to think about all the things that you would love to say to her about the way she made you feel. It feels good when it's out of your head!

I know. I think I scared everyone away with my psycho-babble. Sorry

Haha frus.

So... M thought it was partytime until 2 am. I'm so tired. I cried. So frustrated with this sleeping situation. Moved out of my actual bedroom into the guest room b/c I can't handle DHs snoring anymore (among many other reasons) and then didn't even get actual sleep in that room either b/c of M. Ahhhhhh. Something has to give. Life just feel so frustrating once the clock strikes 8pm. complaining again, sorry

Sorry I've been quiet. Family dramas nightmares to deal with this week and I'm not sleeping well because of it. Anyway...Agnu FWIW I think you're a really good and kind hearted person for helping with the church toddler group when you have your own young family to look after. Not many people would volunteer to take on such responsibilities so please pat yourself on the back for doing good! Unfortunately the power of leadership/management/head of a particular group can sometimes go to ones head and some people take it too far and get a bit too big for their boots (if you know what I mean). I've seen this a lot in churches. I know it's easy for me to say but if you enjoy the work that you do, stick with it and remember the good that you're doing and why you do it. Is there someone else you can talk to about the "cleaning concerns"? Could you suggest that your friend talks to the people who're meant to be clearing up directly? If it was me I would say something like "oh you know how the other week/day you mentioned that the standard of cleaning needs to be improved? Well I was thinking, do you think it's worth you directly speaking to such and such about it so that they know for next time, perhaps they're more likely to listen to you? If you remind her of her "power" and make her feel important she will love that Sometimes to keep the peace your sanity I find you just have to play the game with people like her

Frus ~ I didn't understand your last post? DS is sick and you're going away?

Bring ~ there's no getting away is there! I think we need a lovely massage. That's what I've decided tonight!! I need an amazing massage with cucumber slices on my eyes and a do not disturb sign on my door

Oh! CH stands for chicken pox!!

Cp

Woohoo! Bpear has just had his first proper day nap, 8:35 to 10:15! Yay!!!

Frus...I would panic too. I ordered baby friendly hand sanitiser this week! Noro Virus is doing the rounds and I do not welcome it!!!!!!!

I know I'm just totally paranoid but I seem surrounded by selfish mums. I mean seriously. Who takes their sick children to playgrounds/play groups when they've been sick in the night...makes me so