October 2013 Bus Graduates - Routines?! Our babies clearly haven't read the manual.

[Shirehobbit]

Apologies for the x-posting that meant there's no thread link in the last thread .
I'll start this one and hope people find it.

flyer I was going too suggest the same as others that possibly she needs a size 3 H has been in since 3 since about 10lb he's 11.13 now

Do u have to have all the symptoms of post natal depression to be suffering from it? I felt fine after I had dd but 6 weeks in this time and I'm still crying most days and H just seems to hate me cos when I'm on my ow with him he just cries at me all the time and nothing I do works he winds well he has the gaviscon now so is no longer being sick he just seems to literally hate me cos when someone else looks after him he's not like it. My mums got him for 2 hours this afternoon I turnt up at her house as he screamed the entire time on the way to tesco round tesco and on the way home, I just don't no what I'm doing wrong to deserve if, I always considered myself to be quite a 'decent' mother but to be honest right now I feel like packing my bags and running away from everything (as much as I love him at the same time if that makes sense) I feel ashamed even thinking that I might have depression as I've never suffered with it before

Hi! Can't remember who was asking re crying still during the day but last night was 1st night I didn't cry and I haven't so far today.....again a 1st! I have been v concerned that I have pnd but was reassured yesterday by hv that she felt I was 'normal' and that she would worry if I was not able to get myself up and dressed and couldn't get myself out to any groups etc. also she assured me that my anxieties were not affecting baby or he would be fussy and not thriving. So I feel a lot better. Hopefully this will help to reassure anyone else still feeling ropey(4 wks1 day pp today here!)
Also re ebm: my hv said ok to keep adding to bottle and freeze after 48 hours.

Nat there s no way baby hates you. You're the most important person to him.i think worrying you have pnd makes you feel worse. Try to talk to a nice health professional that could reassure you or help you as necessary. I have felt like c hates me sometimes too but remember the smiles! Then you remember that it's just not true. Babies are not capable of hate anyway. That's why they're so nice! He's probably tired after a morning at your mums and needs a snooze! Big hugs and love. It's so so hard to stay calm and objective. Xxx

Also it's nothing to be ashamed of. It's just one of those things. Talk to someone about how you feel. Sometimes just talking makes it a whole lot better. Xxxx

nat - big hugs!

The first 3 weeks for us was horrendous. I was crying all day every day and regretting having a baby and therefore feeling resentful towards him.

Having a baby is such a shock, it is overwhelming - the emotions, the responsibility and the love.

I feel it took me 3 weeks to ''mourn" my old life and to accept this new one. Perhaps it's just taking you longer to adjust? Particularly as you had a lovely set up with DH and DD and everything was lovely and easy and it probably feels like it's been ruined. It hasn't. Soon enough things will slot into place for you again.

Don't be too hard on yourself. These babies can be awkward buggars and not sleep when we want them to, scream when we have headaches and feed when we're sore but it's true what they say, babies bring their own love.

Sorry this is so long but I really identify with how you're feeling x

Weigh in today at 9 weeks and 1 day - 11lb 11. Pleased with his weight gain as I've decreased the formula and upped his bf even though it friggin kills!

She plotted it at 8 weeks though so looks like he's jumped nearly a whole centile!

nat go easy on yourself. H doesn't hate you, how could he hate the one person the cuddles him, feeds him and makes sure he's safe.

Hope it all falls into place soon x

I agree Nat he doesn't hate you and looks to be doing really well from photos but it is horrible when they stop screaming as soon as you hand them to someone else! Maybe a good idea to talk to your gp/HV, have you had your 6 week check yet? Or make a separate appointment. And tell DH how you feel. You felt you might be depressed during pregnancy too didn't you? (Sorry if I am mixing you up with someone else) so have been feeling down on and off for quite a while?

Nat your baby loves you because you're an amazing mum. We can all see that from your posts and when he's a lyttkw bigger he'll tell you himself. Right now they show their love by trusting you to take care of all their needs, and unfortunately that means they cry more to you. Depression is nothing to be ashamed of. I hope you can talk to a GP or HV about this and get help to feel better and see what a great job you're doing.

J and I still have a cold which makes him really needy and me really tired. I'm terrified if cosleeping but was desperate today, so I put him in bed next to me and we fed and dozed for a few hours. I feel more rested and he acted like he'd won the milk lottery. We slept through breastfeeding group but it was worth it.

I know I could be suggesting more in the NCT group but I feel a but like the odd one out, living far from them and not driving, and possibly having less money. I'm good at making excuses to avoid social situations that make me nervous which is why DH wants me to say yes unconditionally to NCT meet ups.

Nat please don't worry that H hates you - I agree with everyone else, he adores you, you are the centre of his world.

I have had moments of thinking S doesn't like me very much either. Usually when exhausted and scared that I might be out of my depth - I worry that I am not a "good enough" mother and therefore how could he love me?

Again, everyone tells me that those moments are TOTALLY normal and will pass. Having a baby is such a huge shock, the sleep deprivation is brutal, I think it takes everyone a while to adjust.

Are you speaking to you DP and your mum about how you feel? Worth making apt with GP perhaps?

Please don't feel embarrassed or beat yourself up. If a friend told you she was having these feelings I am sure you would be incredibly understanding and supportive - try to be as kind to yourself as you would be to someone else in the same situation.

Thanks girl, dh knows I've felt since the beginning and tbh apart from one weekend when he was a selfish twat and I wanted him too leave he has been amazingly supportive towards me, I haven't actually said anything too my mum but I think she must see something in me or she wouldn't have offered bullied me into leaving him
With her this afternoon so I could have a breather from him and get my poor house in some kind of useable state. Me and dh are meant to be taking dd too winter wonderland tommorow and my sister was having H for the day but now I'm feeling even more guilty about it as I've had time off of him today and wonderland is 1hr30 ish from me so if he needs me of there's some kind of emergency I can just pop back for him and its making me a bit panicky tbh but at the same time I don't want to let dd down... Tricky decision.

If only parenting was easy hey? Health visitors 6 week check should have been this afternoon but mum made me cancel so she could take him so that's been re arranged for Thursday and then gp 6 week check is Friday.

And I no this may sound rediculous but I dislike the thought of seeking professional advice as I worry about social services cos u head stories of people being uneccsarily peanalised for no real reason if that makes sense?

Ana I too find new social things hard, as well as the driving, finding my way etc but really don't want to become isolated so think it is really important to get myself out of the house as much as possible even though I could easily fill my day at home. You moved house recently didn't you - was your nct group in a different area? Could you email them and ask to be added to the email list for a new area? I did this as I know kingston better that Epsom which is where my classes were. Or you can just look on their website. Then you can meet some new people as well as keeping in touch with your group.

Also if any of you are on O2 net work text the word

Christmas

To 50202 for £20 off your January phone bill xx

Natalie I assure you social services would not take your baby away for being depressed. They let children stay in frankly awful conditions in my opinion actually having dealt with them indirectly quite a lot at work. It has to be really bad for anything like that to happen. You are clearly a loving mother and not harming your children, you really have nothing to worry about there. It wouldn't even come up on their radar. Pnd is very common and health professionals wouldn't be at all shocked.

Sorry you are feeling anxious about that

Checking in with good news and a horrible, horrible confession :(

I took C out today and used the car seat on the pushchair frame. I couldn't get it off the frame again, so I had to take it off with the adapters still attached. When I eventually got home (two car trips later) I realised I hadn't strapped the car seat in :( :(. I must have been so flummoxed by the adapters that I completely forgot. Thank goodness nothing happened, I'm not sure I'm going to tell DH, he's enough of an awful backseat driver as it is.

On a slightly more positive note, C is up to 9lb 11 from 6.12 at birth. So at least I'm doing something right...

mrsHN I'm guilty of that two, more than once with dd.

Well done on weight gain :-)

Too*

At least nothing happened and you won't forget again MrsH, phew! I nearly got a parking ticket yesterday as forgot to pickup a ticket from the machine (it's free but you. Have to get a ticket) because I spent so long fading with car seat, adapters, frame, change bag, doors etc. the ticket inspector was standing by my car when I got back but took pity on me.

Some of DHs friends that I don't know that well are coming round for dinner. They are getting here before DH due home from work but cooing over a baby fills time and she is pregnant so we will probably just talk about that. Thomas has been a very good boy and mainly slept in his sling all day so I could get the house tidy and even had a half hour nap in his bed while I showered. Only done that a handful of times!

In guilty of that too mrshn we can't all be perfect all of the time and nothing happened so don't beat yourself up about it

Excellent news on the weight gain

I feel slightly better that I'm not the only one

In the other car (that DH took to work today) we have the isofix base that beeps at you to tell you it's in correctly, so you literally can't go wrong. I think I will be insisting on using that car from now on...

Me to mrs HN. I also can't get my buggy adaptors off! Which car seat and adaptors do you have. I have cabriofix and oyster multi adaptors.
Your meant to push down the buttons on the top to release. But don't work
I've not put the car seat base in my car yet, but am now putting it off as can't take adaptors off. But seat belting the car seat is such a faff.

I have the oyster and maxi cosi pebble GT and have to take one side off at a time failing that I remove it from the chassis using the adapters then wrestle with then to take them off the car seat after. Why don't they make these things simple ?

We have the base that beeps too mrshn deffo worth every penny

Hello,
I completely missed the 1st postnatal thread.
Is there a London meet up?

nat as others have said please don't think they'd take h from you. You've taken excellent care of him and your dd so you have nothing to worry about. I just think now you should take care of yourself too.

orange that's a good idea. I'll contact the local NCT branch too. I think I'll just close my eyes and try to ignore the cost and just sign up for the baby classes. It'll be god for me and DH is really insisting. I'm too good at talking myself out of things. Good luck with the dinner. Babies are great conversation starters.

We're on our way to the Christmas markets with J sleeping in his pram. DH has promised to be the one pushing it. This is a very exciting night out for us!