November 2012 - Teeth? Don't talk to us about teeth.

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1826507-November-2012-To-sterilise-or-not-to-sterilise-bottles-that-is

Haven't been able to get online since reading stunt's post at 4am. Have restored to paying £18 for BT openzone WiFi to last me until my broadband is installed I was feeling very cut off.

I need to catch up on the thread now, but massive massive hugs to you stunt. My heart broke for you when I read your post. I really really hope you can get some help from somebody. I too have been thinking about you all day x

You too MM how are things today?

((((((((( stunt )))))))) you are so brave to say what you did and I hope help comes. Thinking of you.

chasing I couldn't cope without broadband!

Thanks everyone for good wishes. I survived the day. As usual, the contemplation of a thing was much worse than the reality. Got done what needed to happen, I performed well and hid the fact I was cacking it, got lovely email of acknowledgement of hard work and resilience from my boss with a lunch promise. He's actually a fab support but can't do it when he isn't there, which is what has been going on recently. I need to pipe up about shit colleagues.

DD was sent home from nursery with a rash which didn't go away under glass. I was in Court so couldn't bail. Hate that aspect of being working mum, especially when am in situation of not being able to go straight to her. That happened a couple of months ago with S. DH got her to hosp and all clear on the scary front, but she has a mouth blister plus rash thing. Poor sausage. DH then cleaned when back at home.

MM pidj talks sense. My DH is not romantic. He is also very far from perfect and can be a dick from time to time. However, he really tries hard to be the support I need and he wants to be the support I need. He's also really consistent in his love and treatment of me. That means more than any gesture.

Waving and hi-5ing to everyone else. I know I had more things to say to more of you but I need to celebrate survival today!!

Madame I am glad it all worked out ok and glad LO is ok.

Thank you for the congratulations it is a weight off my mind, replaced by another one

Stunt big big hugs. How was today?

Hello!

stunt you are possibly one of the kindest, bravest, most generous and caring women I know. You have been dealt the most incredibly tough hand. I hope you got to speak to your HV and I hope you come back to tell us what is being put in place. There is only one of you and you offer so much to so many that it is hardly surprising that you feel exhausted to the core.

madam your post the other day made me so heart achy on your behalf. To manage such a challenging job with two wee ones and limited professional support must be incredibly hard. How are you today? How much longer is this level of work going to last?

Hooray VQ! Well deserved and fingers crossed!

Well done VQ!!!

And thank you ladies for your messages both on here and in other forms - it means a massive amount. I didn't mean to take a break a just kind of couldn't post. I don't quite know how to explain the last few days - nothing major really but enought to leave me a bit

Basically, I went through a few days of just feeling a bit down in the dumps. Nothing unsual and no biggy but it wouldn't shift and the day after my navel gazy post I felt really awful. I spent the day in a state of major anxiety with a churning stomach and tears in my eyes all day. The best way I can think of to explain it is like every single doubt, worry and anxiety I have ever had was in my front brain. All the time. It was pretty scary as I have never felt anything like that before.

So anyway, it mostly shifted within 48 hours and now I feel fine. It made me wonder though about my periods since having p and I have realised that I have been getting like this increasingly badly every cycle. So basically the next one has left me a bit worried because, honestly, I can't see how I would function if next time was worse.

So that was it really. No biggy at all in the grand scheme of things but I am pleased I had a docs appointment booked anyway.

I did read every post though - duty calls fo shizzle!

I keep thinking of mm and stunt How are you both now? stunt did the HV call back yet? I really hope they can give you some practical help. I agree now is the time to be trying formula, especially if you are considering respite care, it will make he transition for LO much easier if it comes to that. I second the other poster (can't remember names sorry) who said they would be reconsidering the relationship with your DP if they were you. He should be supporting you far more and at least acknowledging his shortcomings if it has come to considering putting your child in care. Sending love and hugs your way.

VQ that is awesome news. Good luck

Sorry to hear about all the poorly babies. C is still unwell. Whenever we think he is on the up he deteriorates again. We put him to bed at 8 last night and two hours later he woke up screaming. It continued non stop for two hours and he wouldn't take his paracetamol or any fluids. I called the out of hours and they wanted him seen by another doctor to check it was definitely an infection and nothing more sinister. Cue a hospital dash at 2am. They confirmed it is a viral infection meaning there isn't anything they can give him for it, we just have to ride it out. His glands are swollen, his throat is inflamed, ears congested and he keeps rubbing his eyes which are all puffy. They said it could develop into conjunctivitis and a bacterial infection and if it does they would be able to prescribe antibiotics. So it's a waiting game.

Both DP and I had to work today so my mum and dad took him home from the hospital with them last night. He's home now but they have offered to have him again tonight and I've taken them up on it. I feel guilty, poor C feels so unwell and I'm packing him off to his grandparents. But they love having him and I'm grateful right now for the support. I wish someone could do the same for stunt. I can't remember the last decent night's sleep I had and I know what that does to your sanity.

Oh! Haha! I read every post apart from madam's most recent one about today. Doh! Glad you got support.

Well done VQ, and madam.

Chasing I resorted to that when we moved - couldn't handle night feeds without you lovely lassies.

Pass yoyoyo! Fab to hear from you xx

Stunt hope you get a good night.

Today I have been empathising with Det, Pikz and all the mums of early movers. Jonas can now properly crawl and is off on adventures around the house in search of electrical wires IKEA trip at the weekend methinks!

Oh! Again! Sorry C is poorly still apple. I have heard that granny cuddles are a very good remedy for viruses . I do get that you must feel dreadful if he is poorly. You are doing everything you can though.

Yo biatch! Once you get over the shock crawling is the mutts nuts. I was playing hide and seek with p tonight and I was crying with laughter. Hearing her plodding around chuckling is The. Best. Thing. Ever!

Apple poor C and poor you. If the GPs are local you'd be mad not to let them help. Having no GPs within 300 miles I reserve the right to be thoroughly jealous.

Pass that sounds scary biscuits love. Sounds like an anxiety attack. I had one once out of the blue (well mid-house renovation combined with attempting to quit smoking) and it was terrifying I genuinely thought I was losing my mind. Hasn't happened again but I would recommend the docs. Is your sleeplessness linked to anxiety I wonder?

apple you need to look after yourself to be able to look after C. Take the help. I know what you mean about unwell babies, it is horrible. S had a viral thing for what seemed like ages. Poor VQ's J has been ill almost constantly.

pass massively glad to have you back. Hope you are ok now. Think it is ok to have a bit of a slump, negative thoughts somehow breed don't they? But I am glad it has passed. Did you mention to your Dr?

I am very busy work wise and that will continue indefinitely. My boss is doing that deliberately. I missed out on a promotion that I deserved a long time ago and this is his way of making sure that I cant be passed over again. I do appreciate what he is doing because I need the status, confidence and payrise that will come with the promotion, but sometimes it feels like it is too much and very difficult to juggle the workload with home life.

However, the first 6 months was always going to be the hardest. It gets incrementally easier the older S gets. And I am very lucky in DH. We both know that my job has demands that sometimes just need to be accommodated, and that he is the one that has to cover the home front, and his willingness and ability to do so makes it so much easier to cope when the stress comes. It would be much harder but for DH. Plus my Mum is on call. She came down last week because she was worried about me, because I was particularly stressed. So I generally have very good support that makes it possible. I am very grateful for this. I wish everyone had support like this.

Great to hear from you pass. Don't leave it so long next time! Hide and seek is our fave game too but C doesn't have the energy to play at the moment. He can't even manage to pull himself up on the chair. I have spent a fortune on him in the last few days trying to ease my guilty conscience for going to work. He's had a new vtech zebra scooter, bike seat and helmet, clothes and toy cars! So lots to play with when he gets better.

I can't wait to play hide and seek!!!!!

Wool doc said I'm allowed to try a pinch of grated cheese tomorrow to see how J reacts. must resist the urge to snarf the whole block My first cheese since December!!!!! He's been a bit squeaky today after 3 days of butter on my morning bagel. If he keeps reacting I'm to knock the dairy challenge on the head on Friday and try to up his exposure to soy via my diet instead so he might be able to handle alpro once weaned.

And yes it sounds like anxiety pass. If it occurs again please mention it to your GP or HV.

I haven't heard back from the HV yet Apple but there will be one at the bf support group. I have spoken to my mum, which I wasn't sure about as I didn't want to worry her although she already knows I self-harm. Her opinion (she is a HV) is that I wouldn't be eligible for respite/voluntary care order unless I report DH to Social Services and then I would risk DS1 and DS2 being removed temporarily as well so she has advised against this route. All I said on the message for the HV was that I wanted to discuss J's sleep issues. I may ask my next door neighbour whether she would consider taking J for some time for a few weeks (she is a registered childminder). It could be awkward though as she may not want to take any money and I would rather it be on a professional basis than as a favour iykwim.

I haven't got a plan for tonight yet. J has two new teeth today but he didn't seem to be in pain last night. I'm wondering if he could have been hungry and that's why he couldn't sleep. But he had a big dinner last night so it would surprise me. I may prepare a bottle for tonight so that I can work out whether it's food he wants or a bf to get him back to sleep. He's fine on regular Cow&Gate, dairy doesn't seem to bother him at all and he's had cow's milk, cream and butter.

I have had so much support from people on here and by PM today and I really appreciate knowing there are sympathetic ears out there. I'm putting off speaking to DH about 'serious stuff' because I don't want to alienate him but I do intervene when I feel he is being overly harsh with the children. I will ask the HV whether we can be referred for counselling but I don't think DH will be receptive, he hates to talk about things that he thinks should be bottled up and never spoken about. I've seen his dad trying to stop my kids crying by giving them a chocolate biscuit so I can see why he bottles up his emotions. Not like me, I'm very much of the 'get it all off your chest' school of thought I'm sure you all noticed that!

Evening all.

Right.

I totally sympathise with you re: the movement YW - had to extricate F from the plate cupboard, bin, oven door (mercifully not switched on) and shoe cupboard whilst I cooked tea today. And then, whilst I had a wee, she mosied on over to dhs dirty pants and waggled them round her head Lots of fun though! She looks as though she's had a right skinful as she's not exactly steady just yet.

Thanks for all the suggestions about wraps/slings etc. I toyed with the idea of a ring sling, but think, like stunt said, it would weigh heavy on one shoulder, so I've gone for a mei tai instead. I didn't realise you could do a hip carry with them, so am very happy as it seems quite versatile. And reasonable price too! And polka dots, which I have a teeny tiny love affair with DH sort of did this when I showed him, which is an improvement on a flat "no". He just doesn't get the whole baby wearing thing - he said in a blokey, butch voice "well just put her in the pushchair, don't fanny around with all that nonsense". Bless him.

Madam

Pass

Apple, fingers crossed it passes soon my folks are just up the road, they haven't offered over night but are very good at making me a bacon butty and packing him off to feed the ducks while i grab 40 winks in my old bed!

YW good luck!

Stunt, stop blaming yourself. He's alienating you, he's disregarding your feelings and what's best for your boys, it's his behaviour causing the stress not your responses.

R dozed off on the boob at 6:45 so i put him down - normally I'd put him back on till he was fully asleep. Left it 5 minutes, went in laid him down and rubbed his back. No dice. Left for 10 minutes. Same routine. Nearly but not quite. Left for 15 minutes. Same routine. 2 minutes of back rubbing.

He's still asleep! How long till it all goes wrong

Stunt I read your post in the middle of the night and have been mulling over a response all day. I think everyone else has it covered though. You are incredible. Really incredible. I snapped at 5.5months and switched to FF, spending a night locked in the spare room with my iPod on and forcing D(in-this-context)P to step up to the plate and take over non-work-night nights. It worked for us, and although we still have multiple night wakenings (admittedly decreased from half-hourly to 1,2 occasionally 3 a night) life is much more manageable when we are tag teaming the sleeplessness. Your DH NEEDS to get on board and help you out. I just wish I could fly over and give you a great big hug.

Have a super lovely holiday izzy You sooo deserve it xo

Fab news madame - well done you!

Also well done VQ - they would be mad not to give you the job. Keeping everything crossed for the next stage xxxxxxxxxxxx

Pass I am so happy to see you back! Sorry I didn't reply earlier (muppet here went out with a flat mobile..) but glad you are okay. I can sort of relate to weird/anxiety feelings around periods and dreading the next one. Big hugs.

Sorry C is still poorly apple

YW I sniggered when I read your FB status earlier. M has suddenly clicked onto mobility fecking dog and last night we watched her disappear out of the lounge. Quietness reigned and I knew she couldn't have gone anywhere as all doors/gates were shut. Anyway, had the wee sod not sneaked back in and was sitting drinking, yes DRINKING, grapefruit juice out of a stray GLASS I had left sitting down the side of the sofa

Thank you all for thinking of me. I would like to reiterate that I really do not deserve it. You are only hearing my side of the story which, when I am in a pissy mood, is incredibly biased. I am just as horrific back to him when in a sleep-deprived, PMT mood. He has a tendency to strop off whilst I am the mouthy shouty one. These past 2 months have also been the longest we have ever spent together. Ever. So it is a minor miracle we are still battling on together. I am not making excuses for him because, frankly, he is/was a twat. But I am/was also a twat. And now I just feel really embarrassed that I vented to you all again.

Arghh, what I am trying to say is as awful as the bad bits are, the good bits still slightly outweigh those small moments. And, while I continue to develop my plan B in the back ground, I am sticking this out until my date in January that we have assigned to sort our lives out by.

And breathe.

(also, the implant is making me a psychopath with backwards periods - 1 week out of the month NOT bleeding)

mm I had that. For the whole 3 years! Get it taken out. Honestly.

See pass I keep threatening too, but I fell pregnant on the pill (despite neurotically setting an alarm to take it at the same time, every day) and don't really know what else to try.

sp to

Docs app is tomorrow morning so I will keep you posted. I have led a blessed existence thus far as I have never suffered from anything mental health wise. My mum, dad and DH all have so I think I panicked a bit. I wish I had nuzzled myself in the bosom of the quiche but I was too freaked out. Ach well.

I am glad you have spoken to your mum but I sorry that tonight doesn't bring a resolution stunt. I honesty wonder if you should take yourself off for one night. Go for a B&B. you must, must get sleep.

mm relationships are complex. You know yours and you know what works. You also know where we are if there is any more bawbaggery. He must focus on just being consistently decent rather than bawbag, bawbag, bawbag, overwhelming romance, bawbag bawbag etc