November 2012 - To sterilise or not to sterilise (bottles that is)

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1820625-November-2012-Thinking-about-first-birthdays-Already

I am sooo excited to read of chasing's fabulous date night!

Bryzoan I can only offer hugs, I think you know yourself you have made the right decision. Everyone else has said much more intelligent things than me.

VQ J is an absolute star. A real handsome wee boy who is going to break a lot of hearts when he is older! I hear where you're coming from though, I get so uptight that M isn't doing things her peers are.

Quiet day here. 2 clients have cancelled so no work for me. I need to go and pick up some prints and DP is whinging about wanting to go out for a sail.

Aulay dog has now slept through since Sunday. During the day, he has half an hour of madness then naps for an hour. Puppies are easier than babies. We are getting there with boundaries - M is learning the word 'gentle' very quickly and he only seems interested in his own toys and my bloody block of driftwood . We had two tiny accidents at the weekend - both on puppy pads at the back door, and entirely my fault for not getting to him quickly enough, but otherwise he has touchwood cracked toilet training. He is fab.

Re the job, I am not sure what to think. Waking up this morning I am beginning to wonder whether there even is a job or if they are just harvesting CVs. I am such a cynic. I am also still hmming over going back to uni next year.

I take that back. In the time it took me to write my last post he has decapitated my scarecrow

Book people has the Donaldson book collection for £9.99. If you enter THANKS than you will get free delivery. Just ordered 24 books for £26. That's Xmas sorted for the kids.

:( They don't deliver to France. Otherwise I would be on the all the time. I love their box sets. My mum has bought loads for the girls.

If you get sale stuff from the book people you can also get 25% off with BIRTHDAY. It only applies to sale stuff, and you can stack with the free delivery code too. Usually postage is free over £25 anyway.

WHSmith also has some good offers. Search for bundle. There is a pre school one and a 'that's not my' one that look particularly lovely and bargainous. We have too many books. The ones I buy now are for 7 and up, and I got a couple of books that are less pink for J.

He continues to vomit today. I think it is snot related. It is funny you say he is a handsome boy MM as he is the spitting image of his dad, who is an ugly sod

Talking of pink and non pink, what are your thoughts on 'girl' toys being handed down to little boys? I would not be averse to giving him a doll or pram to play with if he asked, but should I 'push' these things on him? Am I being very non PC? Is anyone who just has a boy going to be buying these things?

Thanks for the Book People info, will check it out later.

Had a lovely morning, took O to the library to drop some books back and then went to Costa for a people watching, croissant nomming sesh. O was chatting and singing away to himself and waving his toys at anyone who walked in the door. Safe to say, I think he's fine after yesterday.

Some more gossip from yesterday. It turns out that when I text him yesterday morning he was at work, having cycled there and was about to take a shower, when he got my message, cycled back home and jumped in his car to come and get me Cute huh? We talked non stop last night and it was sooo nice to use my brain cells again, we covered the ethics of organ donation, our fears, creationism vs evolution, religion, he tried to convince me that aliens exist and I tried to convince him of the joys of list making. Then he text me late last night saying he had a really good time and that I was 'an amazing girl' Still meeting up tomorrow for our 'date'.

DD1 is surpassing the records of naughtiness she set yesterday. I thought it was stress from LO being so upset yesterday causing it but LO is much calmer today. Except for when she is crying after being hit or pushed over by her big sister.

I'm at my wits end with DD1. I don.t know what I have done to make her so difficult, other than have LO. She was fine before and I have tried so hard to involve her and encourage her to enjoy her sister, and to have lots of alone time with me and her dad too. She has a really lovely side but at the moment I spend quite a lot of time not liking her very much.

I do love her, of course, but when she is kicking the dog, hitting me or her sister, pretending to be deaf or throwing stuff around it's hard to like her.

And I know the solution is more fresh air and exercise, but going out is so stressful that what we do tires me out and I come back to the house in tears and feeling ashamed of being so publicly out of control of my children.

She keeps giving lego bricks to the dog, then getting upset when he chews them. If I get there first then I remove the brick then she just gives him another one.

I could confiscate it but she wouldn't give a shit. I'm so bad at this.

Fear not VQ my boys love their teddies, pushchairs, toy vacuum cleaner and toy kitchen. They only draw the line at pink and purple stuff or dolls.

How old is your DD1 PR? When DS1 was 3-4 he was a holy terror. I used to be glad to get back to work on a Monday!

chasing that's great :) your posts at the moment really cheer me up

2 years and 5 months stunt . Does this mean it is going to get worse? She'll always been very determined to do things her way, has masses of personality etc, and really needs an outlet that I haven't been able to give her these past few months. I am really hoping nursery will turn her around because she can be so lovely and funny and affectionate.

PR . I really wish I had some advice for you but I have no experience with toddlers at all. Would some help?

VQ I haven't bought anything pink for O but we got given a huge crate of toys from one of my dad's lovely friends who has 3 year old twin girls (who were born at 24 weeks ) and plenty of those are pink. The pink guitar is particularly popular

I might have a glass of tonight. 6 more hours til DH gets back.

vq I have been discouraging pink princessy stuff for the DDs, even though I love pink, because the feminist in me can't stand the idea of either of them ever announcing they want to be a princess. If there is one thing I want to get right by them it is to be independent of tossers and to find a happy relationship on their own terms. Princess bollocks isn't part of that. Neither is sodding Hello Kitty which I hate but for some reason my mum insists on buying for them

That said I'm happy for them to dress girly or even in fairy costumes etc if they like, but I'd be equally happy for a little boy to dress up in girly things.

I think the toys they play with count far less than the attitudes they are exposed to.

Oscar is just throwing his lunch on the floor. He won't eat a thing

Is he going through the lunch is for wimps, throwing stuff ismore fun phase? Or is he pissed off with his teeth?

Bit of both I think. Throwing and dropping are hilarious but we also have a top tooth about to poke through. Took about two spoons of yoghurt and only had cherries for breakfast. Pasta for dinner which he usually eats. Shall I wait for the tooth to pop through and only worry if he still doesn't eat then? He's pretty much sleeping through so not waking hungry until 5am ish

Just keep offering and make sure he drinks enough. He won't let himself starve :)

Afternoon quiche!

Hey kirrin how's things?

bry I think you made the right decision :) I hope you feel more positive about it all soon

for the bad nights guys :(

Sounds nuts sophia but good luck with the rest of it! You're doing really well though!

pr I hope you are enjoying your last day with the girls before nursery, you're bound to have concerns about it but hopefully once they're there they will settle ok. You are not shit at it, she is just very wilful and a handful and a half! I can't imagine anyone finding her easy, perhaps for a day at a time but that's entirely different. You haven't made her that way and I don't think she is at all bad just difficult sometimes and I'm sure it'll get easier as she gets older and with nursery she will have some same aged company and more chance to tire herself out perhaps? I hope you don't take any of this as criticism of you or dd1 because its really not meant that way at all. Hugs

Ooh thanks for that lily re the books

vq if e wants a dolly and a pram, he can have one. My brother had a little pram and adored it, but then he had three older sisters whose toys he stole! I have no qualms with boys and girls having the toys intended for the opposite sex. I let him choose toys sometimes, and as a result he has a Lamaze pink hippo thing and a marina the mermaid. But he has cars and whatnot too. Healthy balance is what I think is important :) I wouldn't ever tell him he couldn't have a girls toy.

chasing try not to worry, keep offering good food and plenty of fluids :)

VQ R loves my old toy pink dustpan and brush and will have a kitchen and possibly pushchair and/or doll sling when he's bigger. Dp loves cooking and taking him out, why should that pleasure be only for girls? He will also be offered ballet when older, it's excellent for muscle tone and stamina, but activities are his decision Anyway, if a toy is dependent on genitalia in it's operation then surely it's unsuitable for any children?!

PR afaik from ancient training on child development it takes a while for communication skills to catch up with emotions, even very verbal children lack the vocabulary, at around 2ish. Once she learns to match the feelings to the words, it might calm down?

Chasing sounds promising, although give yourself time to heal from fuckbadger please If O eats only yoghurt and fruit for a couple of days it'll do no harm at all!

Thanks so much all of you. Tell you what makes this quiche so special - it is the collective knowledge, wisdom and experience. The niceness helps too of course.

Stunt and Eliza - hearing your experiences is particularly helpful. Eliza - it is great to hear that despite feeling lost at the start you are happy about it now... And stunt your point about school made me realise that I had actually missed possibly the biggest reason for staying at home. We are in the statementing process at the mo and dd is due to start school sept 14. I'm hoping to get her put back a yr but if I fail I definitely don't want to be working when settling her. And actually to fight her case and make the right decisions I need to understand how life is for her at preschool in a way I can't if dh is doing pick ups and she has patchwork care (even if that care would be great). So - not saying no regrets... But no more worrying I've done the wrong thing. Which is a blessed relief.

Pr - I have quite a few rl friends whose kids the same age as your dd have had very simillar behaviour issues since the birth of younger siblings. Unfortunately I think it is just a horrible stage - not something you've done. And I haven't read the aibu but ignore it. I read loads of people last night preaching disaster from staying at home. When bert had her seizure and I scared myself rigid reading about mortality rates her paed said "everybody dies on the Internet" in a surprisingly successful attempt to reassure me. I think he is right in a more than literal interpretation. Rtw is a hard decision for loads of people because it is not straightforward unless you are preaching on aibu. Also - great idea re purees - thanks!

Mm - glad you are enjoying your puppy, though sorry to hear of the demise of your scarecrow.

Chasing - they have up and down days with food. Don't fret too much.

Thanks kyz

pidj I think it is exactly that. DD1 was late talking, possibly because of the two languages, and She is still slightly behind her peers I would guess. She makes sentences and we understand most of what she says, but she definitely doesn.t have the vocab to discuss feelings. I see that very often she lashes out because she is frustrated, but other times it really looks like meanness. She'll walk past LO and kick out, for no apparent reason. I assume it is asserting some kind of dominance or demonstrating some kind of feeling of powerlessness (she obviously wants to be more independent and gets frustrated at the fact i have locked all the doors, for example, so she can't go outside as she pleases - she has to wait for me to unlock them).

Thank you bry fwiw I also think you are doing the right thing. Try and look on it as temporary.