November 2012 - The Adventure Continues

[StuntNun]

Previous thread: www.mumsnet.com/Talk/postnatal_clubs/1787896-November-2012-Crawling-Already-Uh-oh

This thread's topic is what size of nappies are your babies in? And how are the cloth bum babies doing?

Thanks pass you read my mind.

chasing I get the Sunday blues when I drop the girls off, though not so much anymore it has been 4 years.

The Northern Irish contingent are over, SIL And BIL and kiddos. They usually stay with us but as we are in the tiny rental house this year they have brought their caravan, had a lovely few days at Longleat and are coming over to a campsite near us on the banks of the Thames today. I think Lego.and is in store for the next couple of days. Thus I think the afternoon will be spent bbqing on the banks of the Thames. Larvely. Lets just hope DS1 behaves with his potty and I don't have to spend the afternoon changing wet clothes!

Stunt, do you remember when I said that your DH did not look how I imagined him to? I think that is because in the picture he looked like a kind attentive father, and sadly your descriptions of him here leave him lacking.

We drove past the house, and it looks idyllic. I think it is just a bit of escapism but we will view it next Saturdat just to be sure. Location is fab, but the homebuyer report has mostly 2s and two 3s so there are a lot of problems with it. Structurally it seems to be ok, and was built circa 1850. There are mice, and rot, damp, needs rewiring and new heating probably, the windows need attention etc.

So glad M was okay fatima

In short, we told her we would be out until 2.30ish. Any problems phone us and we are only a 20min drive away. I left very very clear laminated instructions on her routine and dos and donts.

Well DH had 2 texts from them all night saying everything was fine. I phoned about 10ish and everything was alledgedly okay. I was knackered though so we decided to leave at 12.30 and sent them a text saying we would be back v soon. Back pings another one saying they are 'disappointed we have stayed out so long as it shows we clwarly dont care about them or our daughter and the little shit has been a nightmare'. Cue this face

So I drove back as quickly as I could to find M asleep on BIL in a filthy vest from yesterday (wtf? ) and went straight in to pick her up and cuddle her. Her face was blotchy and she had clearly been crying for some time. They hadn't given her a bottle the WHOLE night, no sign of her sleep pod or sleepsuit I left out for her and quite frankly it is bloody obvious they hadnt even tried to put her down in the travel cot. SIL then called me all the names under the sun for alledgedly blanking her when I went in before throwing a massive hissy fit and stropping off to bed. Not before calling M 'my little shit'

I am so angry it has taken me all my effort not to lose it with them. I feel sick that I left M with these people (she is a church going lawyer ffs). DP seems to be supporting me though on this one. I just want to go home now

MM that sounds horrendous, how awful to refer to M that way and behave so vilely. Glad DP is supporting you. I'd be inclined to cut SIL and BIL out. What kind of a person looks after a baby like that FFS?

I really do not want anything more to do with them after last night. I feel sick as I know there is likely to be an argument this morning. I have told DP he either supports M and me or he stays behind. He is livid too though.

Mm that is horrible. Bug hugs to you and to M who is categorically a little darling.

Can you avoid another argument by an icy repetition of something pithy that covers how you feel but doesn't leave the door open for discussion? And just get up and go?

MM I literally feel your pain. It's awful, when you've put your trust in someone who assures you that they will be fine, ignores opportunities to call you when they are not, and then accuses the baby of being the problem. M will not remember, but it shatters your trust in most people. I am a nervous wreck leaving F now, after the CM incident. It's even worse that they are your family

I have woken with a massive fucking hicky on my neck and arm. I have vague recollections of F sucking my neck in the night but was so tired that I ignored it - what a fool! And I have to work later! No makeup under the sun is going to disguise that - plus am another rubbish female, even more so since F was born.

Stunt I have nothing to add

Um.... needs kyz and her summaries Chasing I'm with everyone else, I think you are just feeling normal. Unless you have crazy unrealistic plans to go to the moon or similar?

Yes mm1 your DP must suport you on this and in your place I would let them feel the full effect of my anger.

However don't worry too much about M she will very quickly forget her horrible evening with her aunt. You have nothing to feel guilty about; everything to feel angry about.

stunt your husband needs to man up and show you more support. It is his job as father of your children.

I actually thoight of you when they said it bplp - they are the first people I have left M with other than my mum and I am devastated they let her down so badly. I am hoping to load the car up before they wake up so we can just go.

MM you can expect to feel guilty about leaving her with them for some time, if my feelings are anything to go by. But you couldn't have known how inadequately they would be able to look after her, and she will not remember. Be kind to yourself ignores own advice

"Of course she was upset. You completely failed to do any basic care, of the kind even dumb animals can manage. Phone us when you're ready to apologise for your neglect and abuse of our tiny daughter"

What a fucking horrendous piece of work MM. Nasty, horrible, vindictive cow.

I hope karma comes and bites her on the fucking ass.

Get you and M out of there, and never look back. Time to cut ties. And tell everyone what she did and said. People don't approve of others neglecting babies. Which is what she has done. Or calling them little shits.

Glad to see VQ and Pass. :) Don't neglect your duties .

VQ Sounds lovely.... ahhhh :) Well. Apart from mice. And shit.

O now down for his first nap. I am on my own today. DP has gone out to do a car boot with his mum. Fuck knows why. I've dug a few bits for him to take. But it really isn't worth his while. I think he just wanted to escape for 6 hours .

So, O woke as I got to number 26 on the sheep counter last night because I ran out of Nytol!. Settled him back down. Think the toddle pod was making him too hot, so took him out, and he slept! Til 6!!! Good work!

Only down side.... he was up for the day. I prefer a 5am wake up because he has never failed to go back to sleep after that, til around 7 or so.

I'm going to go and make some breakfast, and sit in peace. After that I think I'll go and get ready and go to the car boot where DP is. It's a big fun day type thing too.

DS1 due back at 10 from a Scouts sleep over.

Will enjoy the next 50 minutes peace......................

What pidj said. .

Good advice pidj

Qq: paté? Are they allowed it?

Not a clue PR. I would say no, it's a high risk of listeria, so would probably steer clear til 1 perhaps?

Not sure....

Just googled - yes they should wait til a year because of risk of food poisoning like undercooked eggs and shellfish.

Oh well.. I think she'll be ok, it was made yesterday and has been in the fridge since. DH gave her some. The risk is small though so I'll not lose any sleep over it.

Pate I'm not sure. Dp doesn't do pork/shellfish so we agreed we'd avoid those for R until he's old enough to ask what mummy's eating, then he can try it if he wants. Otherwise i probably would but only hermetically sealed supermarket stuff or from our lovely proper butcher.

R is asleep on me. I need to pee. Please may all those not making it to church pray for my pelvic floor instead?

Poor M MM, I'm sure you were gutted that she was upset and they told you everything was okay. Some people are just not cut out to look after babies. It would be different if she was crying but they had made every effort to comfort and look after her, or they had called you back early. Still at least she will get over it quickly and she wasn't hurt, you know you can't trust them with her again. Lots of mummy cuddles today and she'll be right as rain.

The house looks great VQ, do you have connections to do the work required? In my (limited) experience a house of that age should be okay structurally, but it's a lot of work to take on. On the plus side when it's done it will all be exactly as you want it.

Sorry you had yet another bad night Izzy, is there any sign of improvement in J's sleep at all? I think I'm so gutted because there seemed to be an improvement when I stopped eating egg then a marked deterioration when my J ate chicken nuggets which are flavoured with egg apparently. So I was all set for an improvement in my sleep which hasn't materialised.

what I don't get though mm is why they everything was ok when it wasn't? Weirdos. You had said you would come back.

mm glad you had a great time at your ball but so sorry to read it had a horrid end. It's so hard placing trust in people to look after your child, I can only imagine how awful it feels to have that trust abused. As others have said M will never remember this incident. We live and learn and you know that these people can never be trusted to look after your child again. At least you found out at this incident rather than further down the line.

pr and madame yay go lions. Roar!

E's learnt to clap. So cute.

Apparently they thought they could cope. I made it very clear I was a 20 minute drive away, and then when we did come back early they were so horrible. Luckily they seem to have buggered off out for the day so we can quietly just pack our thingsand leave. I am so so angry but I think I might calm down and then write her a letter outlining why I am so disappointed and why I want Matilda to have nothing more to do with them.

I would be doing exactly the same had it been my sister, although worryingly my 18 year old dsis is far more capable than them.

I feel sick. Sorry

MM I would be livid. I thought my in-laws were bad but I would definitely be cutting them out. They don't deserve to have any contact with M at all.

*I might wait till we have all calmed down

I'm not sure why my DH is having such a difficult time coping but I think it must be down to stress. His job is extremely high stress, he has to travel abroad at least once a month and in the last two months there was a period where he was away in four of five consecutive weeks. That puts a lot of pressure on me, especially as I was just finishing my degree (exam results still to come eek!) so my mum has been coming over to help out which is great for me but the two of them don't get on