Afternoon shitfaces!
ML ending fucking sucks arse. Mine ended a month ago. I feel like I am on borrowed time now. I'm just not ready physically or mentally to go back. I wish I could go back 3 days a week. That would suit me fine. But 5 days, full time. I am weeping at the thought. .
I should start the pregabolin I have been given to take. I don't want to take it though. The common side effects are less than desirable. I am so confused, as I am told I am describing neuropathic pain, but it feels like my vagina has been butchered and stitched up with the care of an elephant on crack. Fuck knows. I am keen to have these steroid injections though, as breaking down the scar tissue feels to be what I need
I feel so angry still, that I am still having such pain. It fucks me off no end that as a woman, this is the price we pay for having children. What do men go through? Would men put up with this crap? Surely there has to be a better solution? :(
Anyway, enough moaning.
O woke at 2.30 last night. I grumped in to his room, put Ewan on, and told him to go back to sleep as he conducted the fucking philharmonic. I stropped back to bed, and he must have gone back to sleep despite looking wide afuckingwake when I went in as the next time I was woken was just before 5. He fed, but no self settling that time. I actually had to wake DP to take over the rocking. I am going to end up dropping him. He is SO strong, and heavy, my arms can't take it for long. I am very close to buying a second pushchair to keep upstairs for prolonged rocking periods as it is a pain in the arse taking the pram upstairs in the night.
He slept til 8.30 again after that. So 8.30-8.30. Not too shabby.
Okay, so that was still moaning. Sorry. I lied.
