Dec 2011: Running around after our Cybermidgets...

[Aethelfleda]

Roll up, roll up, it's the Dec 11 new thread.
Prepare to be upgraded (if you can catch them!)

Happy Friday all

Non working day for me so shopping swimming and meeting a friend who is 36wks pregnant for lunch (her bump will make me go all wibbly). Later a friend coming round to watch skyfall as he hasn't seen it yet so taking DS to pub as has massive beer garden and slide to tire him out get tea, have a shandy in the sun

Jiggle no ideas for you but could do what oi has done and consider relate?

if you are married and on the mortage you both have to leave and sell the house splitting the equaty 50/50, unless one party can buy out the other. As you cant afford to run the house on your own if you split you will have to move. Also maintance is 25% of partners income, on 10k you will get tax credits and ex is responsable for childcare costs as well I think.

You need to make an appointment for your free 30 min legal advice to confirm where you stand, if you have bank statements with both of your income and out goings it will help. The lawyer will help with the devoice, finanal separation and child access and maintaince.

^ fao Jiggle (soz for spelling : financial separation)

FFS I don't have enough gaviscon to last over the weekend, tried to get some from the chemist and been told they won't give it to me without a prescription as she's under a year old. I got the first box fine somewhere else when I said it was on the advice of a GP. Waiting to get an urgent prescription from the surgery, not what I wanted on a Friday afternoon though.

Seven hope your hunt for gaviscon has had a fruitful result.

Lunch with friend abandoned Had to take skunky to the vets she's not bee right for a while but looks like her thyroid is going and she has fluid on her lungs coupled with her skunk ibs I think this may be the beginning of the end she's 8 yrs old and that's old for a skunk doesn't make it easier though. £150 for tests today blood work coming back mon/tue which should tell us what's next.

With dh and I squabbles, his work going to shit and making no money, his health issues, the mc and now this this year has been utter shit. Thank god for DS

Sorry to hear about stress and shit times :(

gorgeous here. Fab morning in park but minim woke from nap bawling and been bawling since (45 mins). Properly massively upset. Think is her eye teeth. Nothing I do helping.We are currently lying on bed, her on top of me drooling all.over me and bawling.

We're chilling after an afternoon of lollies/paddling pool/trampoline and a natty cream tea (scones and ham/cheese sarnies and cherry squash)

Sympathy mopsy, will she eat an icelolly to help her
gums? dS has been teething and thanks to Aldi/iceland rainbow lolly multipacks (8 for £1!) one of his proto-words is "lol-lol-lol". The weather does seem to knock their body clocks off kilter around midsummer: DS was awful at not napping this lunchtime.

We went out for tea today with Airs playymates and their mum it was nice. Now to get them to bed as its an early start to go to the seaside but its sooo hot here.

Im having a cold alcholfree beer and watch tv when feeding hope and being misrable due to my hayfever :(

Busy day today here - doctors with Freya for her ezcema to get some stronger cream, then a few nice hours on the beach before a swim after school in DS s school pool.

Seems that unless I want to uproot F and DS from their home and live in poverty I have little options with DH and will have to put up with him. From what I understand though with children the house does not have to be sold and equity is normally 60/40% to the resident parent. However, I am still not sure how it would work out, perhaps I should see a solicitor.

DH has decided that unless I specifically ask him to do anything regarding the DCs, he will do nothing. This is because he had a go at me yesterday and I said actually parenting was easier when he wasnt here as I do everything anyway but dont have the criticism. So today he got up at 815 and came down as we were leaving for school - tbh he normally contributes nothing in the morning so it didnt make that much difference. Then this evening he came down and played outside with the kids for an hour. Then I bathed F, called DS up for a shower, had to shower DS whilst F moaned and got wet, then put F to bed and then DS to bed - not sure what DH was doing during this time but it certainly wasnt tidying up (I had done that) or cooking dinner. Figure this can work both ways so have not cooked his dinner, will not do his washing and wont be making or washing his bed (we dont even sleep in the same room as DH didnt like getting woken up when I got for F or being woken up early by the kids! so now we just sleep apart and I do every night time get up and every morning (except Sat)) Anyone see why I would quite like him to leave! Sorry massive boring rant again.

Ooh, sympathies, air, nothing worse than being allergic to summer. My friend at work suffers badly and she's been sneezing away.

That is so not on he is a dad he has to parent his own children. I would leave him for the weekend with the children so he can see what its like. Ffs my dh does bath, read books, bed, even tries to change a nappy and get Air dressed and he is servealy disabled.

Does he do any housework?

No advice but thats shit, (((hugs)))

Im hoping the seaside will make it less itchy

We paid for the campsite today so its offical we are going camping in August

No no housework and he thinks he does parent his children - his view of parenting is an hour a day of playing with them. I have tried to explain countless times that he just chooses the bits of parenting he wants whereas I have to parent 24/7. This is why it is sooooo annoying when he criticises my parenting. He told me yesterday that he was a better parent as he has never shouted at his children - that is because he never successfully disciplines them at all and I tried to explain it was easy to be nice for an hour a day when you werent trying to achieve anything else but play with them but all to no avail. It is much harder to never shout when you are trying to cook tea and DS and F fall out etc etc.

I have tried the going away for weekend thing - I do make sure I get some time to see my friends 2/3 times a year without children but he just gets his mum and dad over and his mum looks after the kids. His mum never disciplines either and always says everything is ok - so H thinks why cant I be like that. Because our children would end up like spoilt brats like you and your brother thats why!

Jiggle I'm sorry things are crap :( he sounds worse than a lodger!

Seven did you get your prescription? I have mountains of the stuff as well! Bah at the GP, monkey had to go to a&e to finally get ranitidine and I went in demanding a special formula (after months of being pissed about) before he got that! I don't understand why they make it so hard (ok, I do, it's cost) but it only takes a 2 week trial and then you know, urg! Grinds my gears!!

Poor mini mopsy hope she's feeling better.

Air you should ask for fexofenadine, it's the best anti histamine I've ever had, not one sneeze or itchy eye in the past month!

We went to the osteopath today then monkey ran around the shopping centre barefoot! I lost his trainer yesterday, his clarks are digging into him and his sandals are too small! I ordered new sandals last night and my dad got him some new shoes already so I don't want to buy more new ones! He'll just need to run around the park barefoot until Tuesday cause the cheap ones are too narrow!

Also the blooming tennis better hurry up, I need to clean

Oh Bob jiggle, that is very pretty crap. Being polite, he sounds 1950s. I'm so sorry you're so unsupported. I'd definitely sit down with a lawyer and/or a calculator and work out what you'd get in income, benefits and child support from your DH. You need to do your sums as you may be surprised at how much you'd get.

Sorry figgy :(

mopsy hope she perked up a bit. It's awful when they're upset and nothing helps, teething is rubbish.

Enjoy the seaside air. We live by the sea but I hate the beach in summer!

I got the gaviscon eventually. She's been awake and miserable most of the day, hopefully she might sleep tonight to make up for it. DD1 didn't nap today either and was very grumpy by bedtime.

jiggle that really is beyond shit. What do you both get out of the relationship exactly?

Jiggle that sounds horrible :( I think you should find out where you stand with a solicitor, even if you don't get divorced and it all ends up with you and him living happily ever after, there's nothing wrong with having the facts. I think if you do stay together and he carries on like this and you decide to live with it and ignore it then you have got to make sure you keep your self esteem up, because he sounds like he is trying to put you down all the time.

If you didn't have kids I'd probably say ltb, but it's not that simple when you have kids and it's only a decision that you can make as you're the one who will have to live with whatever consequences there are e.g moving house, sorting out access, etc. I do think you should get some proper info though and maybe that will help and give you more confidence and decide what to do from there.

Apart from really bad hayfever, I'm enjoying this weather! It's great for getting the washing dry :)

I passed my theory test yesterday, so going to book my practical test next week, there's a 6-8 week wait for a test I think, but I should be on the road soon-ish!

I want to get DS a paddling pool this weekend, I had our washing up bowl full of cold water and some cups and he had lots of fun for ages playing with that and the cold water cooled him down. He also spent ages in the laundry basket, he likes to sit in there with a bag of pegs and poke the pegs through the holes.

We have viewing no. 17 this afternoon, hope we get an offer soon...I'd hoped that we would sell as fast as our neighbours (one week), but feeling a bit more relaxed now, as I can enjoy being outside.

Getting a hair cut on Monday, trying out a mobile hairdresser! I hope she's good and nice too, I think it is a great idea, she can do my hair whilst DS naps and
I can afford to get my hair cut regularly as it's much cheaper than going to a salon!

Well after days and days of yelling dh to see dr about his knee we r off to a+e in a minute as its worse than ever bloody men if they're not dying of colds they're martyrs and decide that they NEED a dr on a Saturday when u have plans with friends to watch rugby and then later in afternoon going to a charity relay for life. Oh well sure DS will behave himself.......oh wait maybe not

2-3hr wait I've left him at hospital and taken DS off to kill time going to go check out some of the gromit statues all over Bristol for the local children hospital charity. Sure shopping will come into equation somewhere too

seven hope they slept for you!

TBH I dont know why he is being so stubborn about not even considering separation because I cant see what he is getting out of the relationship either. It is clear he dislikes me most of the time and I him so we cant stay like this for ever and if are to split I would rather do it when the kids are small and more adaptable. If it werent for the kids we would have I think (but then if it werent for the kids I would be working ft and our roles would be more equal and it would be easier for me to walk away).

I think I might try getting him to just sit and listen to how I feel - making it clear that he is not to interrupt or defend himself but just listen to how I am feeling about everything. Then he can go away and think and I will sit and listen to what he wants to say without interrupting too. I might wait until holiday in a couple of weeks time when we both have time and no other distractions once the kids are in bed.

Am at Darcie's first swimming gala...I'll be here till 4! Wish me & her luck x

Jiggle - the whole situation sounds shitty. I think you need to seek legal/financial advice to work out what you'd get, and where you stand. Do it before the holiday if you can, forewarned is forearmed. Good luck. X