Dec 2011: Running around after our Cybermidgets...

[Aethelfleda]

Roll up, roll up, it's the Dec 11 new thread.
Prepare to be upgraded (if you can catch them!)

The main things with head bangs are detached retainer and concusion.

His he knocked him self out see dr if he got up and cried he is ok.

You could take him to gp in morning to check his eyes and if he seems dazzyed, confused or is bumping into things the dr straight away.

Dont wake him as im sure he will be fine just check on him and watch him closly for the next 48 hours.

Yeah he screamed not as much as usual though am sure hes fine. Will check on him overnight though. he's wonderful at bedtime we do book, bottle (yes still bottle ), teeth, waving to himself in mirror then in bed with his teddy and musical sea horse he rubs his teddy on his face rolls over and is asleep. Sooooo lucky

Im worried about Hope being shy. She never leaves me in new environments and when Air has playdates she just stands there watching them. She will not go play with other children and becomes clingy never letting go of me.

At play group I have to hold her hand and put her at the drawing table and she will markmake but will not play with toys and crys if another child comes to her.

I have no idea how to get her to be more outgoing or more adventrous.

In the park she wouldnt leave me untill the other children had gone then she climbed the big slide on her own so she can do it just not when other people are there.

My fil told her sternly not to go in kitchen and she burst in to tears and ran to me. In her own home and with people she knows and now she will not go to him :(

I have no idea how to help her get over this. The thought of putting her in nursary in November is killing me as I dont think she will cope and I dont want to make it worse.

I have done the playgroup, softplay, playdates, school yard, childrens parties, leaving her with grandparents but its made no difference. She is ultra clingy and will not intreact with other people or peers.

Any advice?

Also when she is hurt or upset she will not even go to dh she just wants me and will scream and kick till she can run to me or I take her off him/pil. Im not sure if this is normal :(

Long weekend! Three concerts for Squidge over four days, she's exhausted and has an exam next week. Think she might accidentally leave her 'bone at school at the end of term:o

Octoboy has started sleeping a little better, but my mood swings are not improving so I may have to actually admit defeat and see a medical type. Hmph:(

Brain can't remember anything, so sneaky hugs for everyone, and more caffeine chez Octopus please!

I know at this age they dont play with other children but play along side them but she just stands there watching them like Wednesday Adams

Air DS is the least clingy baby ever, never even cried at being left in nursery, but when it comes to new environments he still needs time to adjust and will sit on my knee and just watch what's going on for ages before playing. I wouldn't worry, they learn so much about social interactions and rules just by watching at this age. Maybe just keep on encouraging her to play and backing away.

DS had uber melt down at the prospect of going in the bath today. Hope your monkey is OK figgy they're just so bloody slippery and wriggly and strong these days!

Hope DS is ok figgy

oi hope the funeral goes as well as these things can.

air I agree with hop, encourage as much as possible whilst still being there for reassurance, and hopefully it'll start to improve with time.

Well her last feed we had no screaming! It still took 2 hours though, then another hour to get her to settle. I've just put her down and now she's awake again . GP tomorrow anyway so will see what he says. I'm not sure whether to mention that I don't think I'm coping very well, or if its likely just due to her screaming and being so difficult (definitely understandably much worse when she's been screaming all day!)

Seven you are amazing I couldn't cope with 3 no way!! Hope u hot some sleep? How does having a newborn affect the older dc's at night do they wake up too? Dh uses this as an excuse not to have another.

Figgyboy fine he's playing with his peppa pig stickers on the kitchen door. 1.99 a fortnight for his peppa pig mag is money well spent he plays with those stickers for days until they won't stick any more by which time there is a new issue . He also loves colouring in all of the pictures well I say colour but u know what I mean .........it's more of a frantic scribble

Happy birthday to me. Happy independence day Xiao. Happy Thursday everyone else.

I hope the funeral goes as well as it can oi, and hope the gp is helpful seven. I'm not surprised you're struggling at the moment, that sounds incredibly hard work especially as you've also got DS and DD1 to look after.

I hope figgyboy is ok today

air as others have said, I don't think its anything to worry about just yet. As you said, you've taken her to all sorts of places where she has the opportunity to interact, so this is good. I guess you would only see her freely interact in an environment that she is used to and feels safe - so that needs to be familiar. Nursery will give her that regular familiarity - she'll be fine in November. BOi is shy in new environments, even with familiar people, and it takes him time to leave my side. And also, when he hurts himself or is crying, he wants no one but his mummy.
In other news, after 18months of failure on the sleep front, we have introduced a bedtime routine. And dontcha know, it bloody works?!
After a good few weeks of BOi going to bed between 9 and 10 after a huge struggle, we've cracked it.
18:30 bath > his bedroom to get dry, hair dryer, play and books >19:30 bottle in his bed > 19:50 we leave the room whether he is asleep or not. Night 1, he cried for 15mins before sleeping. Night 2 was barely 2 minutes. We shall continue!
On night one, he was soooo cute. I had brought most of his soft toys down to his nursery, and lined them all up along the rug. He was so excited when he saw them.
I have a bit of work to finish - hence being online - then I need to sort what to wear for the funeral. It seems wrong to be all in black for someone so young. I might wear something brighter.

Oi totally agree about routines they are excellent DS been in one since little and always been a good sleeper when he refuses to go down I honestly am at a loss as I am used to it taking 5 minutes for him to sleep. The only time it goes to hell is when we in scotland surrounded by my family new toys a dog he can climb on and he turns semi feral Another good luck today from me on the funeral.

Oh and happy bday faffin have a

Happy Birthday faffin, hope you have a lovely day.

Hope the funeral is OK (or as OK as a funeral can be) Oi and yeay! for bedtime routines! I've found that having those couple of hours to ourselves in the evening, after DS has gone to bed, really help. Even if it's just making dinner and chatting or watching a film, it's nice to have those few baby free hours each day. When I put DS down we do bath, bottle, cuddle and then in the cot away, say good night and he just goes to sleep. When daddy puts him down he has bath, bottle, bed and then cuddled to sleep by daddy. I'm not sure which one of them likes that bit more...

We have finally got the sandpit (built by my lovely dad) painted and full of sand and outside. Can't wait until DS gets back from nursery, he's going to love it! It's HUGE though. You could probably bury a body in it (maybe a point to remember if we ever run out of for the husbands).

Happy Birthday Faffin!
and Happy Independence Day! and

Happy birthday faffin

Happy Independence Day Xiao

Seven - hope the GP is able to help you all.

Figgy - Sky is being a nightmare for bed at moment but never seems to wake Darcie up so it's not a good excuse to not have another one.

Air - Hope will be fine and will break out of her shell one day and will shock you

Oi - hope the funeral goes okay.

I'm shattered.com and tbh the more I think about it the more i'm looking forward to being a SAHM and I don't want to be at work right now!

Ps Aunty flo is being a right painful &-!?!&' this month :(

Happy birthday Faffin

Is it bed time yet?

Ditto figgy - freya used to scream the house down at times at night and DS would only ever wake up if it was morning and he was nearly ready to wake. He says he can "turn his ears off" so he doesnt hear Freya! Wish I could! Not an excuse not to have another - though I do find having 2 more than double the work of one at times, but as someone said the other day - Freya is a "spirited" child!! Mmmm - think that might be being polite!

I'm sure Sky is the only LO on this thread who has received 2 detentions/timeout in 10 days at nursery :( little ratbag! Stubbornness again. This time was for arguing with another of the kids (who also received detention/timeout). Oops

Darcie is out playing with her friends in this lovely weather and Sky is in the garden eating the strawberries we have grown!

She's 18 months old, why are they giving them detentions that early?! That's mental!

Happy Birthday Faffin

Seven I think anyone would be struggling to cope with the stress of the feeds taking that long and the screaming, i think its not necessarily you, just a normal reaction to a really tough situation! Sometimes its good to talk to a HV or Dr to make sure, but once you get the feeding sorted I have a feeling you'll feel better too.

about the sandpit Hop I think that would be DS's idea of heaven!

On routines, we've always tried to have a rough routine for DS, it seems to work for us. At the moment its

6.30-7.00 wake up and eat breakfast, then wash and change nappy and get dressed
10am snack time
12pm lunch time
12.30-2.00 or even 3.00! Nap time.
3.00 snack time
4.30 or 5.00 dinner time
6.30 bath and either a book or crazy play with DH making him laugh hysterically (somehow DH's way works too!)
7.00pm bed time

I definitely need my evenings, I do think my stamina is a bit rubbish, but I'm knackered by 7pm myself!

Ok - so advice needed before I go over to the divorce pages. I really feel I dont want to live with H much longer. However, I have very little of my own income (10k ish a year) and we live in a large, 4 bed house with garden in our joint names. I do not want to move the children out of this environment, I could not afford to pay for it alone (although the mortgage is less than 50% of the property value) but H refuses point blank to even consider that he could move out. He does not want to move out, does not see that he should as it is not him that wants to separate. I can actually see his point of view but I can hardly move out without the kids when I he works Ft and I do most of the childcare. I dont know what to do. Some people talk about living together but separate - but not sure if I can see that working. I find it easier when he is not here often, as when he is but being useless and unhelpful (but still feeling he can criticise my parenting, even though all he ever does is play with them and nothing else useful) I can really pissed off, whereas if he is not in the house I just have to get on with it and that is generally fine.

We go on holiday for a week in a couple of weeks time and I go between thinking it might be a good time to try and sort things out to thinking it will just be a nightmare. I will still do all the parenting. He will happily play with them but it is me that has to sort all the stuff, the food, the bed time, all the night get ups for F who sleeps appallingly anywhere else etc and he will just put in his two pennies worth about how crap I am doing something and how holidays are so boring now etc etc etc.

Sorry for me me post - just think I needed to write it down

jiggle no advice but a ((hug)) from me.

oi hope the funeral went ok, glad the routine is working.

figgy tbh I'm sleeping on the sofa and keeping her downstairs in the Moses basket so her screaming doesn't wake the other two, but oh because it goes on for so long I'm sure they'd wake. Before it got this bad though she was sleeping upstairs and the general crying was fine.

GP wasn't a great deal of help and suggested colic . Anyway her tummy feels fine so he doesn't think there's anything physically wrong. We've been told to keep using gaviscon over the weekend and if there's no improvement by next week we'll try something else or be referred to paediatrics. She's had one feed today which wasn't too bad, I guess time will tell.

(((((hug))))) jiggle. no easy answers but we're here if you find it helps to post. In all honesty keeping a 4 bed place up by yourself is likely to be tricky unless you have some way to bail out your income: I know there's no way I could afford our new place with a single income (it's v tight at the mo on just DH's fairly good salary. But it's far too complex to make a decision quickly when it comes to houses. Could you chat and have a defined period of time beds-apart with a debrief and discussion afterwards?