March 2013: Smiles, sleep & excellent feeding.....the thread of wishful thinking!

[SoYo]

Well we may as well start the thread on a positive note before the grumbling about the little darlings begins!!!

eco ds is 11+ 4 and is definitely ahowing these behaviours. He only drank 2oz this morning instead of his usual 4 and im currently stuck on the sofa because he wants to sleep on me when he usually settles with a dummy and snuggles with the blanket. Just when you think you suss out the lo they go through these developmental leaps.

stormy im joining you for a cuppa. Hot chocolate yum.

Oh gosh I missed a lot. I have basically been awake for 24 hours. Dd got worse would only take boob and kept throwing up (and only so much milk can i make) so no wet nappies for 12 hours. We are out of hospital now having narrowly avoid tube feeding( not for any stupid reason about bf or ff milk but because of the risk of secondary infection). Believe me the doctors tried to get dd to take the bottle. I have massively up 'd my supply and can tell you this maternity leave is no holiday. I am breastfeeding because it is the only way she will take food. If she would take formula I and half the medical team in southhampton hospital would ge delighted.

Rainbow, there are benefits to bf up to two years but the most substantial benefits by far are the first 3 to 6 weeks. It's then so much harder to compare as while formula is regulated breastmilk quality depends on the health and diet of the mother and varies widely,

Leni, feed your child in whatever way makes HIM most happy would be my advice. As once your baby is ok, you will be fine.

Pray all will be ok here and my little fighter will keep fighting.... Me and dd are in quarantine at my mothers home. Dh has another could do him and ds are at our house. No visitors, no outings, feeding every 2 hours .... Back to hospital tonight to measure stats.

Cold not could!

Oh Eig! Wishing you and dd all the very best! I can't imagine how worried you must be. Sending you all the positive vibes I can...

Oh Eig - poor little baby, thinking of you and wishing her well. Like your sound advice on the bf v ff debate as well.

Bit of a hellish morning here, as DH (in his wisdom) decided to let the tiddler sleep rather than wake her for her 9pm feed. Who in their right mind expects a 12 week old to go from 6pm until morning without food? Net effect, I was up feeding in the night, and she has been a grumpy, unhappy, cluster feeding little monster all morning. A lesser being might be tempted to thump him. I however am affecting an outward persona of superiority and will thump him later

Eig I really really hope your LO gets well very very soon. Puts all this into perspective big time...

Wors I'm worried now - DS has his last feed sometimes way before 9pm and doesn't eat again until gone 4!

Things calmer here today. DS is sleeping on me after a tiny half arsed feed. OH took over at 8am after his last boob feed and gave him a bottle 45mins later because he didn't want to wake me, so now DS is sleepy and OH is sleeping on the sofa. I'm left watching TV with the sound turned down!

If this was a boob only morning by now DS would be howling and we'd be at our wits end. Maybe I should just get on with combination feeding and stop feeling bad about it - it's obviously best for mr hungry here.

Rainbow I know what you meant - I did just carry BF through the thrush, allergic reactions, burst blood blisters and not leaving the house for days because those were just more things mums put up with to do our best for our children - my pain didn't matter if not doing it meant DS suffered in any way whatsoever. I guess it's about deciding whether subjecting them to sobbing mummy, blood in their milk and not getting fresh air for a week is worth solely BFing which we know is good for them, but knowing they can also thrive physically on FF, if that makes sense. So if DS is settled and happy, not constantly hungry, thriving physically and I'm not tearing my hair out every day, combined BF and FF is best for him.

Having said that he's not been weighed for 3 weeks (he was off the charts though then ) but as we've had to increase his FF amounts by another 10ml and buy all new clothes, I'm assuming he's putting on enough weight.

That brings me to ask - are you all still seeing HV's? We've got an HV drop in here but with all these bank holidays it's not open... Been left to our own devices completely since week 2!

leni I have always admired your efforts and have been inspired by them myself when breastfeeding troubles arose for us. You are clearly doing a great job for your little one who sound like a hungry hungry chap!

eig sending you and you little one best wishes. We had a scare a couple of weeks ago then saw us in hospital and its really hard.

I think someone made a comment about regulation of breastmilk substitues? Why regulates them? From my research when we almost gave DD formula the market appears to be unregulated in terms of composition. If someone know that would be great so I can look it up - I assume all those ff will have checked this up already so I would really appreciate the infor so I can use it if the time comes for us to ff. Also breastmilk may vary but actually has been shown to be incredibly nutrious even in areas where motherd are close to malnutrition becuase the body prioritises baby. Just in case anyone is worried about their diet!

stormy sorry but don't agree with you that mum's need should be prioritised over babies needs (within limits). I still believe that if your baby thrives (however that is defined) on breastmilk then a mum should put aside inconvenience and prirotise what makes the baby happy. There are going to many times in a child's life where their needs should come first over a parent's body and life. However as most of you know my first child died so I have a very different view about priorities and what I am willing to sacrifice in terms of my time, sleep etc. We all have different way of parenting.

I noticed recently that whenever someone stuggles with breastfeeding on this threat there are usually lots of responses supporting a potential change to substitues which of course is great because that is not readily available in rl. I wanted just to add some balance and also provide some breastfeesing expereince and views.

Apologies for all the typos! One handed typing is not my strength! DD has definitely been starting to demand more and more attention from 11 weeks so lots more enertainment strategies are being employed!

Eig hope your lo has a speedy recovery.

Don't worry leni - that sounds absolutely fine if little-un has had his full day's quota. My (idiot) DH basically decided it was ok to cut out a full feed, and expect DD to stay on schedule i.e. sleep through until 7am or later. Not surprisingly she wasn't too happy with this idea, so got herself (and me) up at silly o'clock

It's all getting a bit serious on here about feeding . Rainbow, so so sorry to hear you lost a child. My heart really does go out to you. I think I speak for everyone though when I say we all are doing the very best we can for our babies, and if we make different choices that's just fine and ok and done with the best of intentions. I've said before I was a FF baby myself. Turned out healthy, robust, rarely ill, ran cross country for the county, straight A student, top of my year at uni, national prize winner in my professional exams, and at the great age of 40 am still tough enough to chop down a 50ft tree single handed, and push a 300kg tractor up a slope. I also have a strong bond with my mum. It worked for me, it works for others....

Not much to report here today. The tiddler is very busy looking at pictures with daddy (he's determined she'll be reading soon..... ).... and I hear squeals. How many minutes until they come and find mummy do you think?!

Well, I'm currently stuck in sainsburys car park! Was meant to pop into town then do a food shop. Except I got my timings wrong, so any minute now dd will want to feed. Except she's currently sparko in the back, and she's so bad at napping that I don't want to wake her. But as soon as she wakes up she'll be starving! So I'm just sat in the car, watching the rain. Every now and then I drive round to a)look for a space closer having forgotten our rain cover and b)look disgusted at those who have parked in the parent spaces without children.

I cannot wait until she's old enough to hold a bottle whilst being pushed round the supermarket. And bfing in the car, whilst something I've done a few times before, is pretty much my least fave public breastfeeding venue, including the time I fed her whilst sitting on the grass at the edge of a rugby pitch watching the match...

plonko the book is the wonder weeks, thirteen pounds on evil amazon. But there is a smart phone app too which I think will cover most stuff.
eig how are things now? Been thinking of you.
wing what did you do in the end and are You feeling any brighter?
Worc have you had words with dh ahead of tonight's feeds?
Nearly back home this end. First night without guests and at home for some while. Yay! Dh going out once dd in bed so I'm planning some quality time to myself. Which involves a waitrose ready meal bought in services. Yum. Lazy yum.

I'm typing left handed so can't respond to everything on here but I will say that prayers are winging their way to you eig and YES to pud re: Mr Sweet from Dr Who! except of course I have a Miss Sweet! DH and I thought it was very cute with it's big eyes just like DD and especially the way she attaches herself to me for feeding.

Will respond more later re:bf v ff.

Hey all, three feeds down and no sick, 2 wet nappies and breaths per minute back at 38' doctor hopeful we are over the worst... Thanks for the thoughts and prayers much appreciated!

Eco less than £4 on Evil Kindle so have bought. May disappear off to have a bath this evening so Ill have a gander then.

Vj did you ever get out of the carpark?

Eig hope there's been some improvement and that you're both able to go home soon. Definitely puts our bfing discussion in perspective.

Mixed bag of a day here - had a lovely afternoon with a friend and her niece who's 18 weeks. She looks huge! And so physically developed at the side of DS. Bit dps had some bad news, his 90 year old grandad is in hospital with a pneumococcal infection, and being barrier nursed so he can't even visit. We're the closest family, and do is not coping well. Also the cats got to go back to the vet this evening. Poor thing can't keep anything down.

Rainbow mono didn't look into all the pros and cons of ffing before we switched. I figure that its continually being improved and I feed my DS the same evil shit (C&G) that my wonderful mother gave me 27 years ago.

plonko eventually woke her up and fed her after 40 minutes, my appetite and bladder became more important than her nap, which had already gone on for 2 hrs!

eig glad to hear things are looking up, I can't even begin to imagine how scary it has all been. Thinking of you.

Oh and I also didn't look into the contents of formula. Irresponsible or not, I figured a) it's bound to be heavily monitored otherwise it wouldn't be allowed and b) millions and millions of people have been brought up on it, so how bad can it be? I also went for c&g, and am completely unembarressed to admit I chose it for being the cheapest.

I think this thread is about supporting each other in the decisions we make. If people want specific advice they can ask for it, or indeed visit one of the specific boards. I think there has actually been lots of positive support for bfing, for me in our struggles, for Eig and Leni at various points and Wing and Worse. I hope they feel it too and I don't speak out of turn on their behalf. Equally though, we have ff mummies and those who have chosen to move to combined feeding over time for various reasons. I don't see it as my place to criticise someone's decision (here or in RL). I have posted in support of several peeps requesting help on bfing on MN, but this thread is not about pushing an agenda (not that I have one).

As someone who ended up combination feeding for some time not through choice I recognise The Guilt all too well, and am happy to try point out that formula is not the devils work.

I'm going to back out of this general debate now, and will stick to specific queries from here on.

Oh I'm so pleased baby eig is doing better. Sending positive vibes and hoping she is over the worst and has a good few months now in rude health to give your sanity a break.

Eco your book explains a lot of things. Had a proper whining baby today and he's been up and down with feeds too for last few days. Might see if I can also get a copy for a read.

Oop food's ready. Will catch up rest later.

Pud - you are so right, this thread has been a massive support for me, and a great source of entertainment. I luffs you all .

I love you all too... Been great to have your support. Dd is doing a wingd baby and cluster feeding, isn't getting much each time but I expect it is comfort and smaller amounts being easier. Fingers crossed for a good night.

Eig I'm so pleased your DD has turned a corner.

I too think we shouldn't be coming in stating our opinions about what good parents should or shouldn't do, just support each other in our different choices & have a big group hug around a cauldron filled with coffee, gin, hob nobs, gina books for all us slummy mummy's. I found the first few weeks of having DD difficult to the point of hating it & you ladies dragged me through & made me laugh through the tears!

Right, enough soppiness. Time for a glass of wine once madam goes down in her cot!

Well said all you wonderful ladies.

Today I ordered a poddle pod. This happened while I was sat in the car wondering why dd naps for so long in her car seat (regardless of whether we're moving) - she sails past the 35 minute danger zone. The poddle pod apparently makes them feel like they're being held, it encloses them a bit like the car seat does. Feels a bit silly as she sleeps so well at night but the lack of naps and resulting screaming is taking over our lives and I'll try anything to fix it!

Anyone have any good ideas? She will usually nap, although seldom in her cot, but wakes after 35 mins, always crying, always still tired. I've tried resettling, dummy replacement, etc. the only thing that works is flipping her onto her tummy at just the right time, but obviously this is less than ideal as I have to then stay with her and watch like a hawk due to SIDS paranoia!

vj we have same nap length. Drives me bit mad because to try and get the minimum three hours of naps suggested for our age baby that's a lot of naps and a lot of settling. I have no wise ideas I'm afraid but can report we too had a two hour car nap today once the m25 stationary traffic was out of the way. So for us it seems to be the motion that keeps dd asleep. Poddle pod sounds interesting. Will look up.

Glad excerpt from book of interest. The eight week ish developmental leap info has been great for us. We tried the games it suggested for this age/stage for half an hour before bed time routine and dd loved it and engaged well. In the witching hour!

Can I ask your thoughts on something? None of your answers will trouble me, I'm just interested.... If your baby is in their crib (currently in our room but regardless of location) and they are awake and not crying or grizzling do you ever leave them to it and remain in bed to doze yourself. We do. Just wondering if that's 'normal' parenting or a bit irresponsible

Thanks ladies :-) and like previous posts, an sending love and gratitude to you all. I'd like to have tea and cake (and pork pie/scratchings with you all