October 2011 - Learning to accept our babies are toddlers

[ClimbingPenguin]

New thread

I've hired someone to get all our babies to sleep while we go get sloshed in the corner

[PenelopeLane]

Hi Annie I had wondered where you were - glad that everything is going well

[sassy34264]

Well, fun was had. Although about 5pm i told dp i was knackered.

His reply- 'wow, you've been set free- you're wild!

back home for 8pm, with curries and watched some only fools and horses, before retiring to bed at 9.30pm.

I'm officially old and boring............

[sassy34264]

Waves to annie Fab news about your job. Glad you're enjoying it.

Sorry about the tiredness.

[sassy34264]

I have a question, to those with more than one child and who have had experience in moving them out of a shared bedroom (or perhaps to those who had a sibling and can remember being moved into their own room) or anyone who has an opinion on the matter.

When we move house, there will be an extra bedroom for jacob. He currently shares with Isobel and eva.

I have said to dp that i think we should put him in with the girls at 1st to get him settled and then think about moving him. But i have also thought, that it might be less traumatic (can't think of a slightly less dramatic word) if we put him straight into his room, so he is not facing 2 changes instead of 1, iyswim?

Also, they are currently in cots, as there is not much space for big beds, but i was thinking of not taking the cots and getting the twins beds for the new house. Do you think it would be better to just take the cots for the 1st few weeks? so again it's not massive change, or, get beds now and let them get used to them here?

Any thoughts welcome.

[strawberrypenguin]

Hmm no experience with it sassy but I think I'd be tempted to do it all in one go. Make it really exciting for him - his own room with a big boy bed in the new house, really big it up and fx for a smooth change rather than drip feed it.

Hi Annie welcome back

[CheshireDing]

Strawbs is it this week you hear abou the job?

Sassy I (obviously) only have 1 child but would agree with Strawbs about making it exciting and do it staight away when you move house. Actually we did that with P in this house - although she was only 4 months old at the time !

Engels and Annie do you think it is Wonder Week 64? I ask because P has been hideous sleep wise for easily 4 weeks, I looked under the Wonder Week and it all matched her behaviour/shit sleep. I feel we are just coming out of it now, I am effed, but we still leave her fairy lights on over night as otherwise she was up for 2 hours easily

Right off to get ready for new job.

Hope babies/adults are feeling better soon

[Engelsemama]

Good luck today chesh

M has settled down a bit at night though I still heard him talking to himself at 6 this morning

I have no experience sassy but would be tempted to do it all in one go. How do you think they'll deal with being in big beds?

Hope you're getting some sleep.

[ClimbingPenguin]

rough night here. DS tried to call yesterday and I think he paid the price for it. We had to use the codeine in the end but that seemed to settle him.

[sassy34264]

Good luck cheshire

eng I think they will be ok. They slept in big beds when we went to Italy, but i pushed 2 together and i slept with them the 1st few nights and chloe the rest of the time. They both have eczema and that flares up if they are upset, confused, distressed etc, (isobel's was terrible in italy) so i suppose i will have a way of telling.

Everyone (my other thread too) says do it all in one go, but i feel so sorry for him/them. It must be scary having so much changing at once when you can't really understand why. Hopefully it will all go smooth and my worries will be unfounded.

[ipswichwitch]

hi everyone! hope all the poorly babies (and poorly parents!) are on the mend. N had that same virus 2 weeks ago and my god, the poo!!!!! he was pooing through the night so his cot was swimming in the stuff. Not fun having to bath a grumpy 17 month old at 3am! thankfully he's over that now, but MIL has rang to say he seems to be teething again, complete with nasty nappies and random crying :(

He's really took off with his walking is pretty much running everywhere now. He seems to be having night terrors too, and will also only settle if i hold his hand til he falls asleep. He wont settle for DH.

sassy i would agree with sp about really making his own room exciting, and maybe get him involved with putting whatever pictures he wants on the walls etc so it's really all his own room.
How'd it all go chesh?

[ipswichwitch]

forgot to add we've just finished bf too. N was only having one feed a day anyway (drinks loads of cows milk) at bedtime, but the last few weeks has just been faffing, not taking much milk and biting (ow!!), and getting himself all enraged by it all. I decided to just read him his story with a beaker of cows milk and he's taken the change really well so far. plus it means DH can put him to bed now without N screaming for boob so i'm off to the pics wednesday evening and leaving him to it!
Thought I'd feel sad about the end of bf but I'm ok with it all. Think we just came to a natural end and it's been much better for us both than going cold turkey, which a few friends told me i'd have to do simply because they chose to

[ipswichwitch]

waves to annie

[AwkwardAnnie]

Cheshire It probably is WonderWeeks that he's particularly bad. But he's only ever slept through for about 4 nights (not concurrent, just fluke.) A friend at work has a son 2 weeks older than S and we definitely find they're extra grumpy at roughly the same time.
After the chat on the FB page I've decided this week is it. I can't carry on like this much longer, so we'll try CC this weekend. I'll still feed him to sleep at 7:30ish, but after that I'll just give him water then put him back in the cot. Often he'll only feed for a short while in the night, then he's fighting to roll over and get comfy, but then crying if I try putting him down, or crying because he's awake. So he's ready.
How did the job go?

Ipswich that sounds like how I stopped feeding DD, she was only 10 months, but I was working shifts and when I was away she had a bottle and settled quickly. When I fed her it would take about 40 minutes and she was still restless afterwards. I think my supple got messed up because of my silly shifts. I was sad, but DD didn't mind.

Right off to try to get a couple of hours kip. Last night was rubbish. The night before I kicked DH out of bed at 12:30 and S came in with me. It took 1.5 hours to settle him, but then we both slept and I felt so much better! Got a busy day at work tomorrow so I think I'll do that again tonight.

[MummyDuckAndDuckling]

Hello all!
Just catching up while on my break in work. These nightshifts are starting to kill me.. I'm struggling to stay awake!! Have been suiting me well with S just staying at my patents over night and me sleeping for few hrs the next day then getting her back just after lunch but I'm not managing to get any sleep the day of my nightshift so I'm awake for well over 24 hrs!

But anyway, it's work and I'm not complaining well only a little

AA - good luck with the cc. Hopefully it will go smoothly.
Interesting about the wonder weeks again. We had a week a fortnight ago when S's sleep was very disturbed. Typically it would be half an hr after I went to bed that she would wake but did settle again fairly quick with her dummy and teddy. She's got a bit of a stuffy nose as well just now that's not helping. She sleeps on her tummy so I think it's becoming all congested at night

[AwkwardAnnie]

Well the co-sleeping isn't working. He woke at 12:30 and he's been fidgeting for hours. I tried putting him in the cot and CC but the neighbours daughter knocked on the wall after 10 minutes. Just sent him downstairs with his dad. 3 hours sleep for me. If i'm lucky.

[MummyDuckAndDuckling]

Oh no!

[ClimbingPenguin]

I wouldn't do CC without informing the neighbours first

bad night here, even codeine and antihistamines didn't help him (not that we gave them to him to help sleep) He seems OK this morning.

[sassy34264]

annie When she banged on the wall, you should have shouted 'oi, keep the noise down, i'm trying to get my baby to sleep'

[CheshireDing]

Banging on the wall Annie oh dear! Because of course you hadn't heard him yourself fgs

Job ok so far, although OBVIOUSLY would rather be doing my own thing but needs must and all that, fx for financial improvement later in the year

Annie our limit is 4 minutes of crying each time then we go in. If of course P was distraught I would go in before then. P last night woke at 11pm and 3am though, this is pretty normal for her I would say. It's a bit of an improvement on the other month of waking every 2 bloody seconds anyway!

P used to wake loads more but if she wakes now:-

I/DH go in, pick her up, give her a drink of water (she is usually pointing at it)
1 minute of rocking with P lay acoss arms (if that makes sense)
1 minute of holding her in the same position not moving
Lay her in her cot whilst doing loads shushing (which becomes quieter) and pat/rubbing back
Make sure she has hold of ted to cuddle
Leave room, fx

If she wakes a second time/can't get back to sleep we change her nappy and she has a bit of malt loaf and water.

I appreciate this isn't for everyone but it's the best we can come up with for now and I know she has improved loads and it will get better.

Whilst she was on her WW I did get in her cot as she would be awake for hours, she doesn't want me there now though

Will come back properly later

[strawberrypenguin]

chesh glad new job is going well I didn't get mine but I'm lucky to have a job and my current one does have its goo points like being able to just leave if nursery call which I wouldn't have been able to in the other one. The money would have been nice though!

climbing sorry to hear about the bad night hope he starts to feel better soon

annie bloody cheeky of your neighbour did she think you couldn't hear the crying yourself! Maybe pop round and tell them what's going on?

[PenelopeLane]

We had over an hour of cc the other night - worked in the end, but A was hoarse the next morning and we felt awful. But, the next night he slept through.

[AwkwardAnnie]

Well tonight we're trying the CC. Although S looks shattered so I think he'll be asleep easily, it's just the middle of the night stuff we need to steel ourselves for.

It was the neighbours daughter who banged on the wall. She's only 7 so I don't blame her. I've spoken to her Mum quite a few times about S's sleep and warned her we might have to leave him to cry. She's always assured us S has never woken them with his crying and her daughter would sleep through anything. DH saw the Mum the next morning and apologised, but she said her daughter hadn't said anything and she apparently beats herself up in the night. I saw the girl a bit later and she denied having heard anything... until she realised I wasn't annoyed and was actually apologising... then she said "she might have heard him a bit". We've warned them there might be lots more crying this weekend.

Since the truely rotten night 2 nights ago, we've had a night where he's been in bed with me but waking every hour, then another where he woke every 2 hours but settled in his cot each time. I'm steeling myself up for tonight.

Strawberry sorry to hear about the job. I'm a big believer in fate. The right one will come along at some point. Extra money is nice, but flexibility with family is so important.
We've spent years struggling to make ends meet, but having DH at home with the kids and me close by, in a job I love is more important.... and finally a much better job in the same team came up. We're still not well off, but years of scrimping is now ingrained in us... so we've got money left at the end of the month.

[strawberrypenguin]

Good luck for tonight annie hope everyone gets some sleep. It's so hard to know what the right thing is to do with work isn't it? But you're right something better will come up eventually I'm only half trying for a new one if that makes sense more keeping an eye on what comes up than actively looking but the change would have been nice in a scary way!

[ClimbingPenguin]

good luckannie

I was offered a job today, just asked for more money but have to wait until Monday to find out obviously. Sorry you didn't get your job strawberry. I agree with not knowing what to do. I thought if I got offered one I would ask for 4 days a week, but there is no difference in childcare in the nursery due to the discount you get for one week.

[PenelopeLane]

Good luck with the jobs! Sometimes I think mine is a little full on for this stage of my life, but I like it. I had to take A in yesterday which was funny, I could hear him walking around saying hello to people as I worked. Hope they weren't too bothered!

My 12 week scan is in one week and am hanging out for it - I know that MCs etc can still happen, but still can't wait for the peace of mind that it brings. The hungover feeling I've had for 6 weeks doesn't seem to be abating, but have been lucky to have had a relatively easy first trimester compared to others. Touch wood.

Do you ladies have a clear idea of how many DCs you want? I thought I was open to 3, but this pregnancy have a real sense that this could be my last and we'll be a 2 child household. I still want to keep an open mind for now though.