October 2011 - Learning to accept our babies are toddlers

[ClimbingPenguin]

New thread

I've hired someone to get all our babies to sleep while we go get sloshed in the corner

Hi all, we're back.

Bit of a roller coaster week. One of our cats was hit by a car on the morning we left for Cyprus. I was taking Seb to the childminders so we could pack and she followed us over the road, got spooked and ran back right into the path of a car. The bastard didn't even slow down let alone stop, even with me screaming by the side of the road. Dh took her straight to the vets but she didn't make it. We had to go on hols as other people were relying on us but we were not really in the holiday mood. We were sharing a villa with 4 other friends but I don't think we were too much company. I keep expecting her to jump onto my lap, she was very much a house cat and the place feels empty, even with our other cat. We also missed my Grandpa's funeral on the Thursday.

Apart from all of that the holiday was OK. It was hard work chasing after Seb and stopping him from stepping into the pool. I do feel like we missed out on a lot, especially as the others enjoyed late dinners and cocktails out and we had to get Seb back. Still, he enjoyed it most of the time, even if he did whine a lot. It was certainly fun on the 'pane'. Kudos to Mummy for doing it by yourself. He is also going through a 'trying' period. His favourite thing at the moment is to bite.

Oh tally, so sorry to hear about your cat and missing your grandpas funeral. The house feels very strange when they are no longer there. Will you get another cat?

I'm sure your holiday guest understood.

Yay for the house mrsh! Where are you moving to?

How did Dh take the news killa?!

Morning all

Duck great news on job
MrsH yay for flat
Tally. So sorry about your grandpa and your cat, what a rubbish thumb to happen just as you went away. Did you manage to relax and enjoy any of it? How was Cyprus (so of you)?

Thank you all for your verdicts on line, did another test and am definitely pregnant. DH was a bit shocked, then panicked, then bought me and was very sweet. Due in May I think so E will be 2.6

Thing not thumb (sorry tally!)

So sorry about your Grandpa and your cat tally it must have been horrific. It's always so painful to loose a pet and for it to happen like that I can't even imagine

Yay congratulations killa

Oh tally so sorry to hear your news.

Congrats mrsh, duck and killa.

So sorry to read your news Tally.

That's great mummy!

Well, AF got me, but as my BF said, maybe it's good to spread the good news around - new flat this month, pregnant next? (Would be lovely to have a reason not to lug all the boxes around on moving day!!!)

Birthdays are looming! What are you all thinking? I've seen a gorgeous wee play kitchen but it cost a fortune. Do ikea do one? Any other ideas?

Hope you all have a lovely weekend, we're going for lunch with MIL as she wants L to try on a posh dress she's keen to buy for her. Going to a lovely wee town called Bridge of Allen which has a lovely baby shop. I think it's a tartan Sarah Louise dress.

Girls night out to a cava and tapas bar tomorrow night then on Sunday my mum and dad are coming to stay.

Congrats killa

For A's birthday we have got him a car set and a giant road puzzle, and some duplo. My main aim though is not to be in labour that day Although TBH my worst case scenario isn't so much labour on his birthday but having a baby a couple of days early an having to stay in hospital for days so his birthday falling in one of those days, as that was my worst part when A was born - my third and fourth day/night in, ug, I was so over it by then

Also sorry about your losses Tally and the pic of Cyrpus on FB looks great

Sorry about a me me post, but I am interested in your ladies' advice: my labour with A was really short - 4.5 hours from first twinge to him being born. So, I am getting really nervous about a really short labour for #2, and getting caught out especially as during a work day DH is about 30 - 40 mins away from home, and then our drive to the hospital would be about the same depending on traffic. There's not much that can be done about that though. And, TBH, I'm not so worried about the 2 days A is in creche, just the 3 days we're home together.

I have some family that have offered to stay with me close to my due date to be on hand if I go into labour, and I haven't really taken them up on it because I don't like the idea of putting them out that much for a long period of time (and having house guests for a couple of weeks, even if they are lovely house guests), and have no idea when would be a good time for them to come anyway.

What would you do? Would you ask the relatives to stay, and from what point in pregnancy? At the same time I also wonder if am being a bit silly, as there is nothing to say that this labour won't be a long one anyway

Ooh tough one pen it is very possible you will have a fast labour this time, how many weeks were you with A? I think in your situation I would ask family to stay from that point if you are comfortable with that. It's all a bit out of my experience though I've no experience of a 'natural' labour I was induced at 38wks with W.

Pen, have the mw said that a short labour could happen again? I think I would have relatives close by as such if its looking like the same may happen again. I think at the first twinge I would head straight for hospital, taking A with you if need be!!! At least this time, you kinda know what to expect in terms of things starting. Have you got all your bag packed?!

Thanks for replies! I was 41 weeks with A and the MW said she wants to set me up with a home birth kit just in case. I don't mind if the labour is the same length or a bit shorter, am just getting hormonal and paranoid about a really short one. I think I will do what you suggest Duck!

Although having slept on it I feel a little less freaked out - last night when I wrote I was a real bag of hormones

I think it would depend on the relatives pen. I could cope with DM or either of my Dsis, but my DF or DBro would drive me nuts, as would any of my ILs who fortunately live so close the probability of having to stay under the same roof is very small

M was sick as a dog on Sat. Ate something that really disagreed with him and couldn't keep anything down. Seems to be bettter now.

Have just got M's birthday present. He was given one of the v-tech tracks with a car last year and has only just started to appreciate how to play with it properly , so we got him some more track and another car. not anything big because I find our house is just getting so cluttered up and I couldn't face a kitchen or anything like that in the lounge!

Poor M! Seems a few sick bugs going round here at the min. Friend of ours 2 little boys have both been ill. Fingers crossed S doesn't catch it! She's still really snotty with this cold but cough has stopped. If I remember right, it was this time last year she was full of cold too as I was thinking 'at least she will be over it by her birthday...'

Talking of which, 2 weeks today! . Can't quite believe it! I've got her a Mickey Mouse clubhouse toy and the figures to go with it. She loves Mickey Mouse and is starting to enjoy the little people, houses etc. I've also got her a doll and I'm going to crochet some clothes and a blanket for it. I feel like its not much but I need to remind myself that I bought her the bouncy castle and paddling pool in the summer which was an early present. I'm sure she will be spoilt anyway! We are having a small party at my parents, few friends/family etc. not going down the route of party games as they are all 2 and under. I'm borrowing a big bouncy castle from a friend so praying the weather is at least dry so they can play in the garden. Spent the weekend making bunting and I've ordered balloons and banners from eBay. Making cake early next week and freezing till the fri then ill ice it Saturday night for party on Sunday. I'm quite excited, just can't believe she's turning 2!

Silly q Duck - can you freeze most cakes, or just certain types? I like that idea to make it easier. A and I have been talking about cakes so much recently I really want to make him a good one or one he'll like, although it will have to be simple as am not that great at them!

Poor M, it's awful when they get that sick.

M is back on form now.

DH otoh is really not doing well. Has just come home from a morning at work and had a horrible meeting with HR. Totally unsympathetic about his depression. "We're running a business here..." He was in tears when he got home. I just want him to get better, but work are now putting so much pressure on him and mucking him around. It's like they're goading him into resigning. I don't know how to help him. His health is the most important thing. We could survive on one wage, especially if I increase my hours next year, but I know DH WANTS to work.

Sorry for derailing thread. Just need to offload.

That sounds really tough eng your poor DH and poor you. I know it's (much) easier said than done but could DH find another job? His current one sounds awful

Can't believe S's birthday is only 2 weeks away duck our babies are growing up fast

Has anyone else's started stuttering? Over the last few days W has started particularly at the end and start of words (ones he knows too) for example he was talking to be about the program he was watching and got stuck on his T 'grandad t t t t tumble' don't know whether to worry about it or not!

Eng, would his work allow him to take some time off, like unpaid leave till he feels more like he can cope with work again? I honestly don't know much about depression. Must be hard for you both to deal with.

Pen, I think you can. I froze her cake last year and brought out the morning before party, was defrosted by late afternoon and I iced it. It was just a basic sponge if I remember. My friend who bakes just told me to wrap it well in clingfilm and tin foil. I'm being adventurous this year and attempting a number 2!

Strawberry, S doesn't as much stutter, but takes more of a pause. I'm sure at this age it's not much to worry about. I'm sure someone on this thread is/was a speech therapist? Maybe post on the fb group

He's really not well enough to consider looking for a new job atm strawb.

One of his colleagues suggested that too duck, but I think company would use it to get rid of him.

He had a positive meeting with company doctor earlier who supports DH not being well enough to do full days atm.

Have taken side off M's bed and so far he seems to be staying in.

I'm not sure how employment law works where you are, but in sure here they wouldn't be allowed to use it to get rid of you. Surely if he had back up from gp etc. what does Dh want to do?

Engels that's terrible news, your poor DH and you. Again not sure about employment law in the Netherlands but am fairly sure that mental health issues should fall under the general banner of 'sickness' when supported by a GP so maybe extended sick leave?

Something similar happened with my sister's ex (not the reason they broke up!) - he was severely depressed and couldn't work, and his boss pretty much told him to grow up and get over himself, which of course made things worse as he ceased to feel safe at work. It was a really yucky situation, and I really do hope that you are able to find a way through it. He ended up leaving but keeping himself busy with other projects.

Strawb A doesn't stutter, but I have noticed a strong lisp on some words recently. I'll be keeping an eye on it anyway.

Hmmm I think I will try the frozen cake idea assuming I don't decide to just buy one

How did it go with the side of the bed off eng ? I've not been brave enough to try that yet!

I think we will just keep an eye (or ear!) on the stutter for now as its no all the time. We are quite 'lucky' in a way as because of W's head we have pretty much immediate access to a whole team of medical experts including a speech therapist so if it comes it it we can bypass the GP etc and go straight to them.

Here, they cannot discharge an employee unless they've been off sick for a continuous 2 years (with gp/company doctor backing/authorisation). What they said to dh on Monday was outrageous. I've told him to start keeping a record of conversations with hr and the company doctors. He feels under the microscope now, as if they're watching him all the time.

DH doesn't want to stop working but is going through a rough patch atm. Amazing that if he'd broken a leg and had to have 3 months off ( as his old boss did last year after crashing a moped after a few drinks!), but because he's suffering from a mental illness he's only getting more pressure piled on him. I suggested sahp, and that I went back to full time but he says he'd go crazy at home.

Anyway, for now he feels supported by company doctor. Things at home between us are good unless I have PMT which is horrible atm without the pill

M got on okay without side on bed. He got out once but scampered back in as soon as he heard us over the baby phone! He's still in a sleeping bag which helps. We've only just put stairgates on, so I didn't want to do it before.

Did I break the thread?!

M distinguished himself last night by stuffing his face with absolutely everything on the table (I had colleagues over for dinner). My colleague who has a son the same age couldn't believe how much he was eating.

Dug out some clothes that a friend gave me for M...I remember when she gave them to me earlier this year and I couldn't imagine him being big enough to fit into them!

Settling in for th 2ww...not brave enough for the conception boards!

Hope everyone e is doing well.

I was wondering if I had contributed to the breaking of the thread too!

Good luck for the 2ww engels.

I have bad cramps at over 38 weeks now and am starting that annoying phase of "could this be it?", although based on last time could be weeks from now ...