October 2012... PELVIC FLOORS!

[Londonmrss]

Ready...
Steady...
And squeeze!

firsttime I can testify to everything that doctor said. breastfed babies get ill all the time - ds2 has barely been well all winter - and toddlers are constantly ill. hence poorly baby. sigh.

Hello! I'm so behind as on holiday with patchy Internet. We had a 10 hour car journey here that I was fully prepared would be hideous, as we had also decided to do it at night, but instead he slept the whole way only waking once to feed?! We borrowed a lie flat car seat from a friend and I'm sure it was this that made the difference.
Being at altitude doesn't seem to have affected him other than the dry atmosphere making his nose stuffy but I'm squirting saline in it. Generally he is being pretty cheerful though so I'm hoping this wonder week/sleep regression has passed

Horrible day. My poor wee uncle is dying. Raced to hospital and said our byes and they've given him diamorphine. It is so shit and sad. He absolutely loved the bean - just lit up every time he saw her and I'm so sad he didn't get more time with her but happy he met her IYSWIM. We spent Xmas Day with him and my aunt - they hosted this year for first time, think they knew it was going to be his last Xmas. We couldn't even visit him over the weekend because me and the bean had colds and we were banned but obviously when he went downhill so fast that didn't matter. DH is being lovely and trying to be all 'circle of life' but it's too raw. Just feel like curling up in a ball in the corner.

He had a lucid moment when I was going and managed to say bye bye the same way (words) he always did (he had a sort of catchphrase for me) from behind fucking horrible mask and poor aunt just fell apart because she knew and he knew that he was saying bye bye for good. It is just so very, very sad :(

big hug angelico. be kind to yourself.

Angelico I'm so sorry thinking of you tonight xx

Oh Angelico, how very sad for you and your family. Hugs.

So sorry, angelico. Thinking of you, big hug

So sorry Angelico

Oh Angelico so sorry to hear that .

Livvy that was great that you found your ring.

What ups and downs we have on this thread over the past months.

Londonmrss I can sympathise with the nobber DH. I fell out with mine this morning about him only taking Erin for 10-15 mins at a time and then I always somehow end up with her back again. The default is that I have her and if DH takes her it is so I can do something (make tea, hang washing, dry hair etc) - it's never to just relax and have some space. I just feel he's being so selfish and suiting himself. It's just so hard to be baby on call 24/7 - and Erin is such a lovely and good baby so I feel a bit guilty when others have had real challenges to cope with. CWest your DH isn't being fair at all, nobber.

Squid you have been so supportive to your friends - that is so kind, look after you too.

Angelico, so sorry to hear about your uncle .

livvy so glad the ring turned up!

Have flu so am attempting massive catch up. I will be posting on stuff you guys said weeks ago 'cos you've been having such interesting chats so please bear with me if you suddenly don't know what I'm talking about. Said posts might come tomorrow as could take best part of the night to read it all. Still will keep me occupied while my barbed wire throat defies painkillers & I sweat half my body weight (I wish...).

I have been trading up on weaning and there are still some things I don't understand. I'm going to combine traditional and baby led- ministry wasn't to just give her finger foods and see what happens, but also try a few purees so I can make sue she gets some nourishment.
van someone explain to me what baby rice is and why every book says it's the first thing they should have? it's there nutritional value?
what equipment will I need? what kind of bib?

Take care, Angelico. I've been there and it's very hard. You never forget it. I hope he slips away as peacefully as possible.

Londonmrss - baby rice is pretty pointless from a nutritional point of view, but you can mix it with milk so they're more likely to take it, which is probably why it's popular - that and the notion that rice is good for you and filling. I never bothered with it first time round and I won't again - to me it's just another way the baby food industry creates a foodstuff and then flogs it to you. I did give DD Plum Baby muesli for breakfast but frankly I wasn't surprised when she started rejecting it. Baby cereals are like wallpaper paste! Their only real advantage is the lack of sugar or salt. I moved DD on to Raisin Wheats fairly quickly because they don't have added sugar either and the texture is more interesting.

You need a big bib rather than a 'milk' bib, preferably plastic. Ikea do some cheap ones.

Equipment: soft spoons, plus plastic dishes, beakers and bowls, preferably microwaveable. We used the Ikea multicoloured ones.

If you want to bulk-cook little meals, I highly recommend Gina Ford's cookery book (and I say that as someone with no time for Gina otherwise). Things like salmon/potato and chicken/papaya mixes are really useful to have in the freezer.

Thanks for your messages. Alternating between numbness and crying at the most random moments. Elpis you're right, you don't forget. Me and my sister were with our Gran for her last 24 hrs because by awful quirk of fate our mum and aunt were both away on holiday. And our uncle was exactly the same as granny was - the agitation and drowsing and then these little lucid periods.

He's sleeping now at least, just hoping he'll slip away. And it's awful to admit but sis and I both are relieved that we don't have to do the whole vigil to the bitter end this time. It was somewhat easier with granny because she had dementia and in some ways we'd already grieved for her but my uncle is / was still so alert and funny and politically incorrect (cringe-makingly so) and just the best uncle ever. Still in that awful stage of disbelief where you can't imagine a world without him in it. And they're still giving him new ABs and stuff and earlier I just felt like screaming, 'Stop! For fucks sake let him go and stop bringing him halfway back, just enough for him to be scared all over again. Just let him go.' At least once they gave him the diamorphine there was a sort of tacit understanding he was in the last stage.

Angelico, I know what you mean about the ABs. But at this stage they might prevent an infection from causing him more pain than necessary, maybe - I don't know. Mum had a very good consultant who was frank with me about the diamorphine, and honest with her - at one point he said: 'Philippa, if you like, I can increase the dose and make the pain go away completely' - and of course I knew exactly what he meant, and she did too, but she said no. I think the only way I got through those days without falling apart was because DD was with me, and her presence detracted from the grotesque sight of watching Mum die. I hope your DD is a comfort, too.

So sorry angelico. Hope everything goes as well as can be expected.

Just marking place.

Angelico I am sorry you are going through this. You obviously love your uncle very much. I hope you take comfort from dd and good memories. Take care

X

Angelico I am so sorry to hear about your uncle. That last bit in hospital particularly if there are ups and downs and more treatment attempts, is so unbearably hard. And the masks and the lines and the ... hospital-ness of it all can be so difficult.
I am really sorry. I hope it's a peaceful end and that you are being looked after. xxxxxxx

Londonmrss Not done weaning before obviously, but I have the same gut feeling about baby rice as Elpis - just sounds pointless and tasteless.

I'm going to try baby led weaning because I dislike the idea of forcing food down. Jess likes holding a spoon already though so I might put stuff on the spoon and let her chow down, if you see what I mean.

My understanding is they don't get nutrition from food at this stage, it's just teaching them how to eat.

Baby advertising in general is beginning to irritate me. Aisles and aisles of stuff at the supermarket. It felt quite nice, the other day, not having to buy anything from there even though we have a baby. We get through about 1-2 packs of nappies a month now, and are using washable wipes too. I'm breastfeeding and hopefully she'll eat the same things I do... I don't know, sometimes it seems a bit of a con, all the "baby essentials".

except when I go and buy lots of cute clothes for her, but that's FUN!

Um... sorry if that came off as critical of people who are formula feeding. It wasn't meant to be. I just don't like advertising much.

I'm excited about weaning anyway. Every meal now I think which bits of it baby could try. And she is 6 months old at the Easter bank holiday so if she seems interested then I might try. Good times!!

Thanks. Uncle passed away a couple of hours after last post (1am) and it was peaceful for him at the end. My aunt is in pieces. Have to get everything packed up and head off to hometown. Going to be a fairly horrendous couple of days.

angelico I'm so sorry to hear about your uncle, it's so so hard when you lose those family members you have a real bond with. It must have been so special to him to have you and the little one there towards the end though. I'm glad it was peaceful in the end. I hope you are able to spend the next few days with your family remembering him fondly and with happiness. I'm coming back to the uk on the 13th for my uncle's memorial service. It's going to be really tough but I hope it will be more of a celebration of his life and the extraordinary person he was.

I'm so sorry about your uncle, Angelico. It sounds like you and DD brought him lots of joy, and I'm sure it'll really help your aunt to have you there.
Thinking of you and your family

Anglelico so sorry to hear about your uncle xx

Oh Angelico I am sorry to hear that. Look after yourself and I'll be thinking of you the next few days. And you Smorgs. Big hug & lots of love xx